MERGE MANIA!!!!!

MERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGE  It's all about the MERGE!!!

We start out with 2 tribes (are they still called tribes??).  Savage has the sads that he was surprised at Woo going home.  I think it was Woo.  Was it Woo?  Anyway, he has the sads and thinks he is playing with professional LIARS.  He is especially MAD at Kass who left him out to dry.  He asks her why and she gives him some vague answer about timing or secrecy or whatever.  She is really too full of herself.  Even so, Savage has to kiss her ass and tell her he's loyal and wants to be her bitch until the MERGE.

Kass and Spencer also call a truce, although it's just a truce because Kass feels she has him by the balls.  She says "see?  this is what should have happened last season we were together".   

On Bayon, they get mail saying that they are to await visitors.  OMG IS IT THE MERGE???  ARE WE MERGING???  HOW CAN WE BE MERGING???  THE MERGE ONLY HAPPENS WHEN THERE ARE 10 OR LESS PEOPLE AND WE ARE AT 13!!  HOW ON EARTH CAN THIS BE A MERGE?????  OMG OMG OMG.  

Tai Bo gets mail telling them to pack up and follow the map to their new home.  OMG!!!  IT IS THE MERGE!!!!!  HOLY MOTHER OF MERGER SURPRISES!!  Ciera takes a few minutes out of MERGE mania to express her fear of Savage getting back together with his original friends.  She and Kass declare they have to FIND AND EXPLOIT THE CRACKS.

So, yes, it's a merge and food.  Remember back in the day when FOOD was a big deal?  Now they get fed so much they're like "oh, I'm off carbs this week".  I believe the buffs are red or orange, and they decide to call themselves ORKUN, after that chain of exterminators.  Savage and Jeremy meet up and decide they are still good.  They bemoan that the game is going to go EVEN FASTER NOW!  It's still Bayon vs Tai Bo, but 7 is the magic number.  They strategize that they have a 5 solid alliance (Savage, Jeremy, Tasha, Kimmie and Fish).  They think they can get Joe and Wiggles.  

Kass also knows the magic number is 7.  She has a strong 5 with Ceira, Kelley, Keith, Abi and now has Spencer under her thumb.  They're plan is to keep using Spencer and bring in Joe too.  

Savage talks to Joe, who once again is playing a loner game.  Joe tells him he's gonna wait and feel things out.  Wentworth tries to feel Spencer out.  Spencer and Joe meet on the beach and Spencer tries to explain to him what the numbers are and why they are the 2 in the middle.  I think perhaps Joe is never part of a big group because he is unable to count past 4.  Which is OK because he is great eye candy.  Spencer draws a little picture in sand of who is with who but Joe has left the building.  

Next day is a rainy one and they are all in the shelter.  Fish amuses them with poetry.  Kass is getting pissed off because there is an apparent Brodown going on.  Kass decides to work on Tasha, telling her that they are going to work to get rid of her because she is good with challenges.  Tasha has no good feelings for Kass, and basically decides to bullshit her instead of allowing Kass to get info out of her.  She insinuates there isn't really still a Bayon alliance, and says something about the vote is what the group decides.  Kass gets pissed off and says "lines are beginning to be drawn".  She feels Tasha is going to mess with her second change and perhaps Chaos Kass needs to come out.  

Next morning Kass is again obsessing that Bayon is going to run the show.  She confronts Tasha again and tells her "yesterday went badly".  Tasha admits she doesn't trust Kass and told her wrong information.  Kass gets all  crazy and says "you didn't learn from your last season".  They return to the group and Kass starts telling them that Tasha told her a lie that there is no more Bayon alliance.  She states that she can't be trusted and she is voting Tasha out.  Ciera gets into the action and tells everyone that Savage and Woo talked about getting rid of "the  big people" aka Joe and Jeremy first after the merge.  Savage insists it's a lie and has decided that there is a 2 headed (Kass and Ciera) dragon that needs to go.  

Individual Challenge

Oooh, it's a fancy idol this time around!  Red velvet and gold lame!  Very bollywood.  It's a balance challenge.  Balance a ball on a dish, while standing on a beam.  Jeff asks Ciera how the mood is post mood and she tells him it left "confusion". 

Ok, Joe wins.  As expected since he is A MIRACLE CHALLENGE ANIMAL.  

BIG TRIBAL DECISION TONIGHT!!!  Savage says that Kass and Ciera are liars and need to go.  He wants Ciera.  He talks to Joe and Wiggles (which is interesting since he hasn't secured Joe's vote and he just gave away the strategy).  Wiggles wants Kass.  Most people want Kass, including me.  

Spencer talks with Jeremy.  Says they need to get rid of a trouble maker.  Jeremy wants Kass.  Spencer feels the wind shifting  and he doesn't think he can spare Kass.  They decide since they don't know if Kass has an idol to split the vote 5/4.  Keith finally expresses an opinion and says he'd go with Kass.  

Kass sees that brodown is happening.  She thinks Keith is also in with them, and that they may split the vote.  If Keith is voting with the men then they need 1 vote to block the split vote.  Kass talks to Spencer and suggests that they could get rid of Tasha.  Spencer admits Tasha is a friend but Kass and Ciera saved him.  

Tribal

Joe and Keith amazingly have made it to the merge without going to tribal so we have to hear the fire is your life bullshit again.  

Ciera admits that the game is going fast and is chaotic.

Kass says she's not playing the chaos game this time around but Tasha is.

Tasha is like OH NO YOU DIDN'T.  Do not go there.  

Kass reiterates that Tasha told her the Bayon tribe alliance was no more.  

Ciera jumps in and says Kass is telling the truth on some things.

Jeff asks Tasha who she is saying is lying and she says both of them

Ciera says she is getting guilt by association.  Says she is worried.

Joe states that no one wants to jump out of their safe alliance and says Kass, Ciera and Tasha are the easiest decision.  

Ceira gets all bent out of shape about taking the easy route and says people need to PLAY THE DAMN GAME DAMMIT.  She wants people to forget their alliances and go with the votes that will advance THEM not the alliance.  

Spencer admits that how he plays tonight might not reflect how he plays tomorrow

OOOOOOH Jeff gets shivers down his thigh and asks if Survivor is changing AS WE SPEAK???

Fish says that yes, in fact WE MAY BE WITNESSING THE EVOLUTION OF SURVIVOR STRATEGY.  LOL

Jeff asks, so are we talking just voting blocks for each tribal??  

Ciera says unless you are in the top 4 you need to be constantly in GAME MODE.

Time to vote.  Any idols?  Nope

Tasha gets 2, Ciera gets 4, Savage gets 1 and Kass gets the magic 5 and is the first bitch on the Jury!  Incidentally, after her big GAME PLAY speech, Ciera basically threw her vote away on Savage.  

Survivor" Blindside again!

Ok, so the previous week Ankor finally won immunity sending Bayon to tribal.  It appeared to be between Wigglesworth and Spencer as odd men out until Monica suggested to excessively large boned Kimmie that perhaps the women should stick together, thereby indicating that WE GOT A FLIPPER ON OUR HANDS!!!.  And, that's how one little slip gets you voted off the island.  

So this week began with Jeff visiting one of the tribes in the middle of the night,which is never good.  Terry's son was hospitalized and needed a heart transplant, which he got.  He obviously left the game, and I was sad to see him go.  

Challenge:  welcome in and see that Monica was voted off last time. and ALSO NOTICE THAT TERRY IS GONE.  Jeff basically milks this for all it's worth, beating the "OMGZ as parents isn't this HEARTBREAKING??  Can I get at least one of you to cry???  Andrew?  Wigglesworth??  IMAGING HOW HORRIBLE IT WOULD BE IF THIS WAS YOUUUUUUUUUU."  Yea.  MILKED IT.  And then got them to all say how much they are LOVING their current tribes!!  Which is ALWAYS a preview to "drop your buffs". We're back to just Tai Bo or whatever, and Bayon.  Apparently the camera crew covering the Ankor tribe refused to step foot into that HELL HOLE one more day.  

Tai Chi: Savage, Woo, Abi, Kass, Spencer, Cierra and Wiggles.  

Bayon: Kimmie, Wentworth, Fish, Keith, Joe, Tasha and Jeremy

Kass and Spencer are less than thrilled to be together based on last time they played Survivor.  

Back to the challenge which is an oily slip and slide, with a ring toss.  Just like my last birthday!!  

First up, Savage and Jeremy, who both look kinda hot all oily.  Jeremy wins by about half a second.

Kass takes on Fish, who you know will suck at this and in fact throws the ring like a PE challenged girl.  Kass kicks his ass.  He's all depressed and Jeremy tells him to buck up because they all have more confidence in him than he has,  

Abi takes on Kimmie who is a big hot mess.  Abi for the win.

Woo is bested by Joe and we're at SUDDEN DEATH.  The Kelley's go at each other and Wiggles beats Went.  Is it me or is Wiggles way more intense than I remember her being?  Is it excessive botox?  I mean she has no thoughts or expressions!  

Anyway, Tai Chi wins fried chicken, mac and cheese and brownies.  

Spencer tries to be nice at the feast, and he interacts a bit with Kass.  Savage is all happy because he has his 5 person alliance.  He loves Spencer, but knows Kass has her knife out for him.  She tells him that basically as fast as they can away,  Savage agrees that it has to be Spencer and tells everyone to say to Spencer that it's Ciera.  Ciera is all WTF???  Clearly she doesn't want her name used in tribal!  

On Bayon, there's a 6 person original alliance which would make Wentworth an easy target but Joe wants her to stay to protect his back up alliance.  Joe talks to Tasha and Fish, and they're all set on Wentworth.  Joe is like...OR we could stay strong keeping Wentworth and getting rid of Kimmie.  Fish is annoyed (probably because he's the next weak link in the chain) and tells Jeremy that Joe is trying to flip the alliance.  Jeremy wants another hot dude left on the tribe as a shield so he is inclined to keep Joe around and happy.  

Fish has his camera time and basically cries because he doesn't want to blow his second chance because he couldn't get his "crew" to get rid of the golden boy.  Seriously, this shit just writes itself it's so ridiculous.  

Immunity challenge and it's an eating one and one they've done 14 times in the past.  Yea, still grosses me out to see people blowing chunks all over the place.  

First up, it's Kimmie/Tasha vs Woo/Spencer eating 2 tarantulas.  The boys clean up on this one.  

Jeremy/Keith vs Savage and Ciera with the water beetles that Jeff assures us still have some guts and juice inside.  Mmmmmm.  Ciera lost his one before and sure enough, she's gagging all over the place.  Jeremy and Keith win.

Fish/Wentworth vs Kass/Abi eating the pig snout.  Kass barfs, letting Fish and Went to win this round.

It's now for some reason an individual contest.  Joe and Wiggles get fried frogs, which actually sounds OK to me.  Wiggles gets it done.  Woo takes on Kimmie with pig brains, and Kimmie again refused to eat pig.  Woo gets it by default.  Ciera and Wentworth get scorpions and once again it ain't going down Ciera's throat!  Went gets the win and we are tied.  

Kass and Tasha get the DREADED duck embryo.  Kass once again blows chunks and Bayon wins immunity.  Kass has tears and Jeff asks if it's the barfing or letting the team down?  She says both.  On the way out, Jeremy grabs a bite of embryo since he's hungry.  

Back on Tai Chi, Woo reiterates that it's Spencer but they are telling him Ciera.  Andrew tells him that Ciera has to go and it's gonna be a sad blindside.  Ciera tells Kass and Abi that she's not comfortable being the foil.  Kass wants it to be Spencer and Ciera wants it to be Woo.  

Kass and Spencer talk.  She tells him that there is stuff going on that could be beneficial to him.  Spencer tells her he really likes and trusts Savage, and she tells him that he actually wants Spencer voted off.  Kass tells him that she's leaning towards a blindside.....and Spencer decides he's gonna bunk with the devil tonight.  

Tribal

2 of them haven't been to tribal yet so we get to hear the whole "fire is your life" bullshit again.  Jeff asks them how they are playing differently for their 2nd chance:

Savage thinks he's playing a more personal game and forming deeper relationships.

Spencer says something about seeing people as people, which says a lot about what a creeper he is in general.

Woo thinks he wasn't cut throat enough and I guess this is his version of being cut throat.

Kass says some shit about it being hard to keep all of the alliances and liaisons straight this time around with all of the tribe swapping.  She's not always sure who's tight with who, and which Kass she is.  Kass or Chaos Kass which just flat out bugs the hell out of me when she calls herself that.

Andrew says he hasn't seen any evidence of Chaos Kass.  Just wait, grasshopper, just wait.

Ciera thinks she's good with people, Andrew says he knows's what's gonna happen and Ciera says "someone's plan isn't gonna work out".  

Vote:

Spencer gets 3 votes, but Woo get's 4 and here's YET ANOTHER SEASON I WON'T BE WINNING!!!