Survivor- And we come to the final night.....

And just like that we come to the end of this season of Survivor!  For all of my bitching this has been an interesting season, not for the twists but as usual for the interpersonal drama.  Not to sound like Jeff but this is still a game and a world that depends on interpersonal communications, and misunderstandings.  It was good to watch the show and imagine a world (or just your little beach) without covid.  I think we are getting there and I can't wait so once again sit among unwashed stinky people again.  LOL.  But, as always, THERE IS NO WAY THERE ARE NOT HANDWASHING STATIONS.

So who's still kicking it on Viakana?  Xander, much to my surprise, Danny and DeShawn, Erika amazingly, Ricard and Heather who has had like 10 lines the entire season.  

Xander tells DeShawn that he gave an eloquent speech at Tribal.  DeShawn says it was eating him alive and he had to say something.  He is sad Liana is gone but he "believes in fate".  

Danny says he trusted Xander and he let him down.  Says they had their opportunity to get rid of Ricard, AKA TOM BRADY and they whiffed.  Xander says he needed Ricard around to be the shield and to have someone else people wanted out.  Now it's time.  Ricard says Xander is gone without Immunity.  

Heather talks with DeShawn about tribal.  She says it was heavy and she didn't know he was going through all of that internally.  He says he and Shan were acting like it was all good between them, but race is something that is always there.  Heather seems to truly be learning and I give her props for talking about it with him and becoming more aware.  This is what diversity is about, people just working and playing together and learning about each other.  She says she is glad it came out and that she wants this season to make a difference.  Unsaid is all of this drama has been a great shield for her.  

Erika tells DeShawn all of this effects her too and she understands the pressure because she voted Liana out yet there hasn't been a female survivor winner in a while.  She says people just want heroes that look like them.  

OK. back to the actual GAME.  Reward Challenge- 2 teams.  It's a jump in the water, swim, dive and get buoys, then water basketball.  Wanna know?  A choice between grilled chicken and veggie OR cakes and cookies.  Or what I like to call, "what shall I have for lunch today??"  DeShawn is disappointed there was no mention of letters from home.  He says he doesn't need food (told you there was a vending machine) but could use word from home.  Jeff is all WTF?  LOL.  I like that these players now feel in the position to talk back to him.  

Team 1 is Ricard, Heather and Danny and Team 2 is Erika, DeShawn and Xander.  It goes about the way you would assume given the split.  For some strange reason (and Jeff points it out) Heather doesn't even bother to help return the balls to Ricard shooting.  Team 2 wins reward and DeShawn sees an opportunity to talk with Xander and Erika about getting rid of Ricard.  

At Reward Xander is all over the chicken and veg which is his normal keto diet routine.  Erika tells DeShawn they're thinking Ricard which is music to his ears.  Says "I'm down with y'all".  (He also says "I don't trust them).  

Back at the ranch Ricard and Heather go out looking for food.  When the come back Danny is still missing so the assumption is he's idol searching, LIKE EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING.  He returns and Ricard thinks his vibe has changed.  We see Danny pass over an idol but don't see him find one.  Ricard though thinks he has.  He tells Erika and says they should assume he has one.  

Sunrise-they're all sitting on the beach.  Thankfully no yoga nutbags this season.  DeShawn tells Erika he sees a final 3 with her.  She wonders if people see her and Heather as the same.  DeShawn says that no, the 3 of them have different stories to tell the jury.  DeShawn explains to the camera that he was planting the seed of getting rid of Heather.  

Immunity Challenge- Spin to uncoil a rope around their waist, them do an obstacle course dizzy followed by a puzzle.  Guess what?? Ricard wins immunity and is guaranteed final 5.  Erika is all damnit.  What's plan B?  

DeShawn and Danny commiserate.  They don't exactly say "those white folks are idiots" but it's pretty close.  Danny is especially pissed off since he knows they missed their chance.  Ricard asks Danny if he found an idol and he says nope but people assume I did.  Ricard decides to look in his bag and doesn't find an idol but knows it could be hidden given PEOPLE GO THROUGH YOUR STUFF.  

Heather points out that DeShawn was close to winning, and Xander points out Danny was also close.  It's a huge decision.  He points out that Ricard has the best resume and they need to keep people who could ultimately beat him.  Must be hard for Heather to hear.  LOL.

Erika suggests splitting the vote between Danny and DeShawn.  She knows DeShawn is likeable but she's aligned with him.  Ricard thinks they could beat DeShawn easier than Danny. Ricard is nervous about the relationship between Erika, Heather and DeShawn.  

DeShawn and Danny talk.  Danny tells him, since one of us is probably going home it's time I told you I'm a former NFL player.  LOL.  Says he played for the Cowboys and the Bears.  It's actually a cute moment.  

Tribal

Jeff tells DeShawn he crack him up grinning at tribal!-DeShawn says he's still happy to be there.  He says right out there that the 4 are going to split their votes for he and Danny.  

Ricard says he and DeShawn had a good day and yes he could still vote for him.

DeShawn says it was stupid for them to keep Ricard last week

Danny gets into it saying YES IT WAS SOOOO STUPID.  Say he's not mad at Ricard but at the people who KEPT him.

Erika explains that she and Ricard have a trust and that Liana voted for her once

Heather bristles and says being told we voted wrong is subjective.  She says the vote was for HER game.  

Xander is saying he's just trying to pitch to those you've voted out.  

Danny says if this is the end he's OK because he left his soul and he's proud.  

DeShawn says he's still proud if he goes...

Jeff interrupts to ask who's nervous about what he's going to say?

DeShawn tells Heather that Erika said she can't take her to the final.

Ricard says the gameplay truthbomb is an interesting strategy.  He wonders if it changed anything.

Erika says, "I'm sure Heather has thought of a game plan without me. She says to DeShawn "now I know I was right not to trust you..."

Jeff asks DeShawn if he just killed himself, given Danny was gracious.

Time to vote....idols?  Nope.  Has this been the season with more idols and less idols actually used??

Danny 3

DeShawn 3 (did they vote for each other??)

Revote-Danny is voted out.  

Jeff announces they go to a new island without supplies (but with a HAND WASHING STATION) and tonight we will have 2 immunity challenges, 2 tribals, 1 firemaker tie and 1 winner!

Good luck everyone but ESPECIALLY XANDER!!!

Giant Survivor Update

 CHRIST I hate when I got so behind I have no idea when we last talked.  It has been a few weeks and probably 27 twists.  Let me see if I can go back and quickly catch up in VIAKANA.  

So about 2 or 3 or 10 weeks ago  the yellow underdogs were trying to stir up shit, while Heather has emerged from the shadows to cause some drama. Shan is a pain in the ass control nut. The AAA (African American Alliance) is still convinced they’re going to final four and race glass ceilings will crack all over the world.  On the other hand Ricard is partially deaf and he’s trying to break the  hard of hearing ceiling. Again with these stories my husband turns to me and says “Christ it’s as bad as the Olympics”. 

Deshawn and Shan are butting beads as are Naseer and Heather.  My man Xander and Erika are just on the outs. 

The twist of the week is the immunity challenge will be done as 2 teams with each going to tribal. So they’re competing within their team and between teams. It’s also for reward- beef stew. (Strangely the episode was not sponsored by Dinty Moore). 

Group one is Erika, Shan, Ricard, Naseer and Heather. Group two is Deshawn,  Danny, Evvie, Liana and Xander. 

In group 1, Erika wins immunity, Group 2 Xander wins and he outlasts Erika for group 2 to win the stew. Group 1 has spend the night at the shitty old camp before tribal. 

Xander likes stew. 

Group one tribal ends in a tie between Naseer and Heather because Shan used her extra vote. Revote and bye bye Naseer. 

Tribal 2. Evvie is toast. 

NEXT

Ok, I started to go through my notes and do an update on the second of apparently 3 episodes I have missed and it comes down to this- is there a black alliance or is there not a black alliance.  Looooots of discussion.  Endless frankly.  

Reward challenge to break things up.  I can't figure out what it was because my notes say something something rope, something puzzle.  Winner gets to go to the "Survivor Sanctuary" and have pizza and a sleep over.  I don't even remember if there was a shower involved.  Ricard wins.  He brings Shan, Heather and Xander with him.  Danny thinks Ricard is playing the jury up.  

Back at camp the losers-Deshawn, Danny, Erika and Liana.  Danny and Deshawn go for crabs and discuss how they have to get Ricard out.  Does anyone on the black alliance think it's weird that Shan is ACTUALLY closer to Ricard??  They have a plan to take out Ricard and go to talk to Liana.  "Someone is gaining steam in the game". Liana guesses Shan....Erika.....they tell her Ricard.  Liana says she's struggling with it because she doesn't feel OK making moves without Shan.  

The Survivor Sanctuary has the decor of an old shipwreck.  Ricard and Shan do the love fest bullshit and discuss how they don't want to discuss the fact that someday soon they're going to have to go head to head.  Shan leaves doing that fucking cartoon humming.  

Back at the ranch Liana is happy to have her brain back.  Are we still final black 4?  They cry again about the instant connection they had up on the summit.  Shan asks if they talked about blindsiding her and Liana says, no Ricard.  Shan says, then we pick Deshawn off.  Shan tells Ricard they're gunning for him and that they are going to pick off Deshawn.  Ricard is surprised Shan would tell him.  Shan says it's not time for our curtain call.  

Immunity Challenge- Stand on a narrow beam and balance a ball on a stick.  Ricard wins.  Mwahahha.  Danny looks sad.  

Shan says Erika would be the simple choice.  Says they all vote for Erika but don't tell Xander so he uses his idol.  Ricard thinks instead today is Shan day (yaaaaay).  Ricard tells Xander and Heather, who are very cool with it.  They need one more vote.  Ricard goes to the double D's with it which surprises me.  DeShawn is unhappy that Shan snitched on him.  Erika is afraid that Shan will play her idol and it will be her going.  Danny says Shan pissed him off.  Hellooooo!! Erika suggests 3 votes Shan, 3 Liana.  Danny thinks that's a nice plan.  Danny wonders if they are getting played by Erika but Shan broke his trust.  

Tribal 

Xander, Heather and Erika discuss being at the bottom.  Shan says things resort after every tribal and you could go from bottom to top.  

Ricard says he and Shan have had a weird relationship from the start.  Shan says we are all liars but I don't remember the context.  She likes to make dramatic statements and get Daddy Jeff's approval.  

Erika says you can't not try in this game and she says " I have one vote to offer..."

Ricard says something about logically you'd get rid of the bottom people (would you??) but everyone has a different perception of who the bottom is.  

Vote.  Idols? Nope.

Erika 2, Shan 3, Liana 3.  Revote between Shan and Liana.  SHAN IS VOTED OFF!!  Who else did the hum song??

Shan says "DeShawn you are a snake..."  

AND FINALLY LAST WEEK....

Liana is upset that her girl (and shield, lets face it) was blindsided and the black alliance was blown up.  The Double D's say "It wasn't our plan", they turned on us.  

Xander is happy because he went from the bottom to the top.  "I'll do whatever for our 4"  Erika says Liana is having a bad night.  D and D said before she left Shan dropped a bomb-said Deshawn was a snake and that she would give her vote for a million $$ to Ricard.  Helloooooo,  she always was going to do that.  The whole black alliance thing was her hedging her bets.  

Ricard says DeShawn is confusing him-says he can't take ownership for the blindside.  DeShawn is ranting at camp and Ricard tells him to chill.  DeShawn says he was trying to process the vote and he thought exposing Ricard to camp would take him out but it backfired.  

DeShawn tells Liana they can still be a black alliance.  She thinks his lies about Shan are too hurtful and she wants revenge.  

They're eating rice and there's majestic music so you know some bullshit is about to be thrust upon us.  Aaaand here we go.  Danny says that it is the 25th anniversary of his Dad's death so he gets his olympic skating tragedy moment.  He says he has never gotten over the anger but sitting on Survivor he has made peace with it,  Seriously Jeff lives for this shit and the hallucinogenic  value of starvation.  

Immunity Challenge and a DANGEROUS TWIST and a decision based upon where they think they fit in the 7.  Challenge is another balance a ball thing, this time on rods held horizontally.  The twist is DO OR DIE and I swear to god someone better fucking DIE tonight the way Jeff is building it up.  The first to drop has to go to DO OR DIE at tribal where there is an instant chance you get axed from the game (and end up on the jury which is NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM DYING.  IF you don't die you're immune from being voted off.  Anyone who wants to can sit out the challenge and hence NOT risk fake death.  Heather and Liana sit out.  It ain't like either was gonna win.  

DeShawn drops first and may DIE tonight.  (rubs hands)  Danny wins immunity totally because he had that lil moment this morning.  Totally.  

DeShawn says he's content to die to night.  Double D says Ricard has to go.  Danny tells Xander that  the smart money is Ricard because he's won 2 challenges and is dangerous.  Shan is already voting for him.  Xander wants Ricard as his easy vote shield.  He asks what the alternative is, Liana?  Danny says THIS IS OUR RESUME.  
Christ I hate when we get to the burnishing our resume part of the season.  Xander trusts Ricard more than Liana.  

Erika asks Xander what he thinks. She says Ricard could beat them all but Liana once voted for her.  Ricard is a big threat and she wonders if they will get another chance.  Xander tells Ricard that double D is gunning for him.  If they stick together they're good.  They agree that Erika is getting shady.  

DeShawn and Liana tell each other they would never write their name down.  Sure you would.  

Tribal

It's all about the first all black alliance, all about society changing, all about bringing light to diversity.  Very noble and important tribal.  And I agree with all that they are saying.  I'm just not sure this is the forum.

Anywhoo, Heather is like, I don't really understand a lot of this but I'm sorry.  Jeff tells us that Survivor is a SOCIAL EXPERIMENT that's all about bringing people together.  Uhuh.  And then having them lie and backstab each other.  IT'S A REALITY SHOW JEFF.  THERE AIN'T MUCH OF THIS THAT IS REAL LIFE.  

Do or Die time and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD no one is really going to die tonight.  I am just so disappointed when Jeff leaves and comes back with 3 boxes and not a giant machete or a revolver with one bullet.  Cyanide in one of the boxes???  Please???  Nope.  One has a pictures of flame and two skulls.  He gets the flame.  Christ.  Life is so disappointing sometimes.  

They vote.  Ricard squeaks by with 3 to Liana's 5 votes.  But don't be sad because Shan and Liana get a slumber party for the next 2 weeks.  

WHEW!!!  I SWEAR I WILL KEEP UP TO DATE FROM NOW ON IN.