Survivor Gabon, Week 8

So, I'm flying solo today with only my scribbled notes to guide me. CBS.com doesn't have the recap on it so I have to try to remember what the heck I was writing about. Which is OK, since half of you probably have already forgotten what went down in Gabon last week.

Day 22 and still no LIVE AUTHENTIC GABONERS. What's up with that?

Over at Kota, Randy is mad at Susie cause she laughed at Randy's comment about Dan going. Randy has anger management issues. Corrine and Susie continue their fight, especially since Susie told Jeff at tribal that Corrine was a lazy ass. Cut to the close up of Corrine" "What could a 47 year old possibly have over me". OOOOOOOH. Them's fighting words from this 46 year old.

Over on Fang, Matty's unhappy about Ace (cause I think their engagement is now over), and worried about trusting Crystal. All are hoping for a merge.

Back to Kota: and more of Corrine bitching. Calls herself "extremely vindictive". Really? Gosh, you hide it so well. I just love when people like this come on this game and then get all whacked out when people ACTUALLY PLAY THE GAME.

Tree mail: "brand new tribe" and a beach party. Could this be the awaited merge or another mind game?

The two tribes assemble for a big old feast. Lots of food and apparently LOTS of drink. There's a box that says, "don't open until you are totally done scarfing down the food". So, they proceed to scarf away. Kenny see a note under the box that has the words immunity clue on it and tries to be all cool about it. Charlie shares it with everyone. In what can only be drunken bravado, they all decide they don't need no stinking immunity idol and "set it adrift". Randy digs it up ("I knew when I saw that strange tree on the beach that it had an immunity idol buried under it") and they talk about it being "the apple in eden". Repeat this phrase about 10 times and you will know how ridiculous this part is.

Randy is hammered. I always think this is a good move on Survivor. Get totally hammered and then be all hung over at the next challenge. Randy is laying on the beach in his dreamed about if only they'd ask Playgirl position, wine glass in hand (and, dude, were they drinking friggin white zinfandel??? ) proclaiming himself King of Gabon. LOL. That is going to come as a big shock to the Gaboners.

Ok, so they open the magic box. It has 2 parts. One is a bag of numbered stones. The other part is a bag of new buffs and they are divided into new tribes. DAMN. Fang is now Randy, Charlie, Corrine, Sugar and Matty; Kota is now Bob, Marcus, Susie, Kenny and Crystal. Lots of endless discussion of how there are 3 of the old Kota alliance on each tribe.

So, back at camp, Marcus finds out that one of his good friends is Crystal's cousin and they do a little bonding. Had this been on abc, you would have heard "it's a small world" played in the background. Marcus now likes Crystal, cause she can't be all bad and be related to his friend. He's not sure he can vote her off now. Crystal has no problem with it.

On Fang, Corrine wants Matty out (i forget why). Anyone else notice that Matty is a friggin dead ringer for Leonardo DiCaprio? In fact, I'm going to start calling him Leonardo from now on. Charlie doesn't trust Randy. Leonardo (aka Matty-you following?) tells Sugar that Kenny and Crystal duped her into thinking Ace didn't have her best interests in hand and that Ace would have never gotten rid of her. Frankly, this is English wonk shit, but Sugar buys it and gets all teary eyed.

Susie is now in the power position. She wants top 3 and asks Marcus to promise her that. Marcus has a hard time with that since he has her at about top 6.

Tree mail. This next challenge is sponsored by Viagra. Vivaaaaaaaaa Viagra. The challenge is called "keep it up" (GET IT, HUH HUH??). Survivors have to hold their hands out palm down and have a pole on each hand that goes up to a platform. They have to stand that way until the last person is out. This apparently really hard cause Crystal, the OLYMPIAN, lasts 1 second. Sugar lasts 10. Susie, Randy and Corrine go out next. It comes down to Leonardo and Bob. Leonardo is being a total smart ass and the Probster is trying to warn him not to screw around. Lots of images of Leonardo's poles getting PERILOUSLY close to the edge of the platform. Bob shifts once and his poles fall. Leonardo and Fang win immunity!!

Kota has to go to tribal. Swagger dick that he is, Randy shoots his mouth off that he doesn't really care that they won immunity.

At Kota, Crystal works on Susie to get rid of Marcus. Susie tells her Marcus promised her final 3. Say what? Are you a crazy white lady or something? He can't deliver final 3.

Tribal. Probst begins by asking Crystal what it’s like for her and Ken to spend time with Kota. She says Kota camp is like corporate espionage – you wear the suit but don’t know what’s going on in people’s heads. But at Fang, it’s the projects. Kenny makes a plea. I guess he was the other one on the chopping block. Bob: "tonight's vote is a clear cut decision". Time to vote. Apparently Susie believed Crystal 'cause Marcus or Marc-ACE as Kenny writes it, is the next survivor to go.

Head on back to camp.