You know, one would think that having an extra week to write up the Survivor Summary, I coulda gotten it done at least a day early. One would be wrong, as I have less than 4 hours to figure out what the heck I made notes on, and write them up for y'all,
Ok. So the previous week Cirie was sent home, mostly because JT switched sides. I mean he switched alliances, I have no idea what his sexual preference is. JT tells the tribe, "everything I did I did for the team". Rupert is pissed off. I am guessing we will not be seeing the happy tie dyed shirt tomorrow. Amanda confronts JT. He tells her he "took out Cirie when I had the change. This is not a new Tom/Colby alliance". She's not buying it.
The dragon slayer is singing a little Gregorian chant. Now they are all doing Tai Chi over at the Villains camp. All but Etroll who is looking for the idol. "Ima git it". Seriously, I think he is missing a tooth. Of course he finds it, because the Survivor production crew allows 5th grade girls to hide shit, which means it's mostly on the ground buried under half an inch of sand.
Challenge. Jeff is in dark blue. Yessir he is. It's a basketball. Wanna know what you're playing for? You will be taken to a watering hole, where you can wash the crap out of your butt cracks, thereby polluting an unspoiled natural refuge. Oh, and chocolate. Jeff hands out chocolate samples. The heroes don't eat it because they are "too focused". Colby tells Jeff, "let's just get this started". No u dint! Jeff tells Colby, "We'll get started when I say so". Oh, SNAP. I love it when Jeff is gangsterish. So hot.
Ok, so it's a physical game. Hey, wait, I just got the irony that they are playing basketball right before the march madness. Ok, back to the summary. James takes a hit. Hurts his knee, medical comes in but they let him walk it off. He's out for the challenge.
Amanda scores first. JT and Rob go at it. JT takes Coach down. Rupert hits Jerry's head into the fence. Hey Sellmans, how many times did you rewind that one to see Jerry's expression?? Jerry scores. Villains win reward.
James gets held back for medical attention. Are these medical people always Australian?? They bring in the jungle MRI machine and give him an ace bandage.
Villains are enjoying their chocolate feast. Etroll is all excited that James might be out of the show. Ahole. At the swimming hole, which Etroll does not enjoy, the others are discussing whether or not the troll has the idol. Etroll tells Pervhottie that he found the idol. She's almost excited enough to sleep with him. LOL. Etroll also tells the Dragon Slaya, wants to form an alliance. The king and the dragon slaya make an alliance while wearing striped towels.
Amanda and Candace are worried about James, as am I!! Amanda cries. They assume he isn't coming back, but wait! He comes limping in! Hooray!!! Wait, are they friggin playing the theme song from the Pirates of the Caribbean? Big hugs all around, yet Candace thinks James is dead weight now. Mighty fine looking dead weight let me add.
Immunity Challenge. Dark blue again. It's a blind puzzle challenge. God, I have a great Ishtar quote that no one would get. Such a shame. One person is the caller, the rest are paired up and blindfolded and have to go out into the field and find 10 puzzle pieces. Jerri calls for the Villains, James for the Heroes. Question: are Jerri and the Dragon Slaya no longer together? Rob walks around blindfolded protecting the family jewels. LOL. The heroes get all of their pieces first, and then the villains kick their asses in the friggin 10 piece puzzle.
Back on the Heroes camp, James is anti Tom-"we suck at the puzzles". Tom and Colby want James. JT and Rupert are leaning towards Tom. Candace wants James because he can't run. She however, can barely walk. JT thinks logically James is the way to go but that would put him in a bad way, alliance wise.
Tribal Council. I think this is a slate blue shirt, Donna thought it was green. In any case, I can't keep running off to the Motel 6 in Pottstown 3 times in one night without my husband getting suspicious.
James: "what happened?" "I doesn't hurt"
Jeff: "My niece could beat James right now". Um, Jeff? James could friggin kick your skinny Hollywood ass right now, even if he was in a wheel chair.
JT-"are you concerned James is just saying he's OK". Yes, Jeff, I am concerned.
James turns it around to the puzzle. "Everyone went willy nilly". Who the hell says Willy Nilly??
Tom: "Jeff, he's not being kept because of his physical ability, it's loyalty" "If James is quiet, it's because he's clueless". Wow, Tom does not like not being the head stud this season.
James " If y'all think Tom is better than me? Take me out now".
They vote. WHEW. It's Tom by a slim margin. I'm saved!!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Survivor: Male PMS is a Bitch
Ok, let's see if I can still do this, after the excellent job by Jeff last week!! The bar has been raised. I didn't happen to notice, but did Jeff include his address for those of you who still have not paid? Those Sellmans are kinda sneaky.
We begin tonight with the end of the last tribal council, where Sandra called Coach out. I may have to go back and watch just to see that. Coach's BIG ASS ego is bruised. "I look ignoble". Hahahaha, I freakin love that word. Tyson tries to comfort him and he actually cries. OMFG. "Why doesn't anyone every say anything good about me?" I gotta give props to Tyson for not laughing. They do the man thing. Man...dude...man...dude. Tyson: "I'll help you out. Here's an idea, don't wear freaking feathers in your hair at tribal, and don't tell your stories, and don't do tai chi where ANYONE can see you. And, most importantly of all, STOP BEING SUCH A DOUCHE". Coach: "I'm done dude". Seriously, this guy has PMS.
Next morning, Tyson tells everyone about it. Rob goes to talk to him, offers him support and tells him to basically grow a freaking pair. Coach: "I'm a legend. I'm King Arthur! I'm the last of the Mohicans (more like the homo-hicans if you ask me). Confucius say, "blah blah blah". I notice Jerry with the steel balls is no where to be found.
Heroland: It's treemail. And, it's the Sears Survivor Catalogue! I wonder if it's the Christmas one with all of the toys. I used to love reading that. The winners of the challenge get their 2 choices from the catalogue. PICK THE BARBIE DREAM HOUSE!! Hours of fun, trust me.
Challenge: Jeff is in dark blue. As he should be. Survivors pair up and slide down a slip N slide, grab balls and shoot baskets. Wow, just like my 7th birthday party!! The heroes are playing for a tackle box and a kitchen set, Villains are playing for a tool kit and more tarp.
Coach vs Tom, Coach wins and thinks he is the king of the world again. Russell vs Cirie, she gets no slide and Russell makes his basket. Courtney vs Candace-no one loses a top or bottom, but Candace scores making it 2-1. Jerry vs Amanda, Jerry wins. Sandra vs James, which is ridiculous. James wins making it 3-2. Danielle vs Rupert, Rupert wins making it a 3-3 tie. Tyson vs Colby for the win. Colby misses the basket 3 times and the Villains win reward. Again.
Coach is redeemed. He is now noble again. In his mind. They are unpacking the CRAFTSMAN tools, when Russell sees something on the handle of a serrated knife. It drops and Rob picks it up, reads it. It's a clue for the immunity idol. Rob and Sandra both say, we should find it and throw it into the ocean, and whoever finds it is marked to go home. Russell thinks they are idiots. Everyone goes to set up the tarp, and Russell casually strolls off down the beach. Rob notices and Sandra follows him. "He's a stupid ass". Rob has the best comment of the night: "He's like a hobbit on crack".
On Heroland, they are making coffee and find the note. They read it and all laugh. JT goes off to find it, and basically everyone follows. Tom is digging under a tree, and everyone joins him. He find the idol but Amanda sees him hide it in his sock. Everyone knows he has it.
Immunity Challenge: It's another of what Jeff calls the repeat of "Classic Challenges", but this one is the only one never finished because of that dude who passed out due to very low blood pressure. Who knows his name?? Anyway, it's the blind hamster ball challenge. Rob and Tom are inside the giant balls, and 2 blindfolded team mates have to maneuver him to the table maze, where 4 other blindfolded survivors are told how to move the board to get the ball through the maze.
Rob is first to the table and gets a pretty good lead but Tom manages to work it up to a very close ending. But, alas, Villains win.
Cirie: It's Colby or Tom tonight. Which makes you know that it is in fact probably neither. Tom apologizes for the loss, which is ridiculous. Cirie and Candace decide they have to break up the Colby/Tom alliance and one of them has to go.
Amanda asks JT, and he wants Candace gone. JT would actually like to get in an alliance with Tom because he trusts him more than he does Candace. Tom approaches Amanda and JT. Promises they will play the idol only as a committee, offers it to them. James comes up and joins the group. James, I am starting to believe, is not that bright. He just wants to win him some challenges. Is this a new alliance??
Amanda talks to Cirie. Tells her about Tom's promise. Cirie just laughs and tells her they are all stupid for believing it. "Amanda is not the sharpest tool in the shed". Cirie argues with everyone about why in fact they should get rid of Tom/Colby.
JT talks to Tom. Tells him he better be ready to use the idol cause things are breaking down. JT, Tom and Colby talk. "Cirie is the puppet master, she should go". They hatch a plan where the three of them could get rid of Cirie. It's JT's call.
Tribal, and Jeff is in another shade of dark blue. I think he is reading my blog on facebook. Seriously.
Tom: What is the philosophy? Stephanie was on the wrong side of the numbers Jeff.
Colby: It is looking like because of the numbers, good people will go.
JT: Is it too early for these alliances? Yes, Jeff, the good strong people might go. But, everyone is good this season, Jeff. You need loyal people with strong stomachs.
Rupert: I just want everyone to get along, wear happy tie dyed shirts and sing Kumbaya while we kick some ASS in the challenges.
Jeff: "So, let me get this straight, even though you are not sure it's the best vote, you would still vote just to keep your word?? Are you people nuts?? That just ensures you keep coming back to tribal".
Cirie: Are you worried it's you? Yes
Tom: Do you think Cirie is really worried? No.
James: I just need to be winning me some challenges. This social game is a distraction. My use of steroids has made it difficult for me to use logic.
Colby: It's a distraction but it's necessary when you are on the top of the list.
Time to vote. Jeff forgets to ask for the idol. What is his deal? Thinking about Motel 6?? Tom uses the idol. Candace is laughing. The vote is 3 votes Tom, two votes Colby and 3 votes Cirie, making her the next person voted off. JT looks nervous, James just looks confused.
Cirie: My hats off to them! They got me with one of my own moves.
Heroes
Pool 1 Pool 2
Amanda Wendy Annemarie
Candice Kevin and Matt Nataiya
Colby Carolyn Terry W.
James Elayne Elizabeth T
JT Lori Kevin Ray
Rupert Karen Adam and Aaron
Tom Ginnie Dave W.
Villains
Coach Joanne Rachel R.
Courtney John Wil
Danielle Becky Pam
Jerri Amy Beth W.
Parvati Leslie Tess' Mom and Dad
Rob Nancy Cindy H
Russell Donna Ed Parks
Sandra Kelly Betty
Tyson Tess and Susan Mary
Out
Sugar Jeff and Eileen Adam and Aaron
Stephanie Terri Stephanie D
Randy Stacey Gail
Cirie Kim Christopher
We begin tonight with the end of the last tribal council, where Sandra called Coach out. I may have to go back and watch just to see that. Coach's BIG ASS ego is bruised. "I look ignoble". Hahahaha, I freakin love that word. Tyson tries to comfort him and he actually cries. OMFG. "Why doesn't anyone every say anything good about me?" I gotta give props to Tyson for not laughing. They do the man thing. Man...dude...man...dude. Tyson: "I'll help you out. Here's an idea, don't wear freaking feathers in your hair at tribal, and don't tell your stories, and don't do tai chi where ANYONE can see you. And, most importantly of all, STOP BEING SUCH A DOUCHE". Coach: "I'm done dude". Seriously, this guy has PMS.
Next morning, Tyson tells everyone about it. Rob goes to talk to him, offers him support and tells him to basically grow a freaking pair. Coach: "I'm a legend. I'm King Arthur! I'm the last of the Mohicans (more like the homo-hicans if you ask me). Confucius say, "blah blah blah". I notice Jerry with the steel balls is no where to be found.
Heroland: It's treemail. And, it's the Sears Survivor Catalogue! I wonder if it's the Christmas one with all of the toys. I used to love reading that. The winners of the challenge get their 2 choices from the catalogue. PICK THE BARBIE DREAM HOUSE!! Hours of fun, trust me.
Challenge: Jeff is in dark blue. As he should be. Survivors pair up and slide down a slip N slide, grab balls and shoot baskets. Wow, just like my 7th birthday party!! The heroes are playing for a tackle box and a kitchen set, Villains are playing for a tool kit and more tarp.
Coach vs Tom, Coach wins and thinks he is the king of the world again. Russell vs Cirie, she gets no slide and Russell makes his basket. Courtney vs Candace-no one loses a top or bottom, but Candace scores making it 2-1. Jerry vs Amanda, Jerry wins. Sandra vs James, which is ridiculous. James wins making it 3-2. Danielle vs Rupert, Rupert wins making it a 3-3 tie. Tyson vs Colby for the win. Colby misses the basket 3 times and the Villains win reward. Again.
Coach is redeemed. He is now noble again. In his mind. They are unpacking the CRAFTSMAN tools, when Russell sees something on the handle of a serrated knife. It drops and Rob picks it up, reads it. It's a clue for the immunity idol. Rob and Sandra both say, we should find it and throw it into the ocean, and whoever finds it is marked to go home. Russell thinks they are idiots. Everyone goes to set up the tarp, and Russell casually strolls off down the beach. Rob notices and Sandra follows him. "He's a stupid ass". Rob has the best comment of the night: "He's like a hobbit on crack".
On Heroland, they are making coffee and find the note. They read it and all laugh. JT goes off to find it, and basically everyone follows. Tom is digging under a tree, and everyone joins him. He find the idol but Amanda sees him hide it in his sock. Everyone knows he has it.
Immunity Challenge: It's another of what Jeff calls the repeat of "Classic Challenges", but this one is the only one never finished because of that dude who passed out due to very low blood pressure. Who knows his name?? Anyway, it's the blind hamster ball challenge. Rob and Tom are inside the giant balls, and 2 blindfolded team mates have to maneuver him to the table maze, where 4 other blindfolded survivors are told how to move the board to get the ball through the maze.
Rob is first to the table and gets a pretty good lead but Tom manages to work it up to a very close ending. But, alas, Villains win.
Cirie: It's Colby or Tom tonight. Which makes you know that it is in fact probably neither. Tom apologizes for the loss, which is ridiculous. Cirie and Candace decide they have to break up the Colby/Tom alliance and one of them has to go.
Amanda asks JT, and he wants Candace gone. JT would actually like to get in an alliance with Tom because he trusts him more than he does Candace. Tom approaches Amanda and JT. Promises they will play the idol only as a committee, offers it to them. James comes up and joins the group. James, I am starting to believe, is not that bright. He just wants to win him some challenges. Is this a new alliance??
Amanda talks to Cirie. Tells her about Tom's promise. Cirie just laughs and tells her they are all stupid for believing it. "Amanda is not the sharpest tool in the shed". Cirie argues with everyone about why in fact they should get rid of Tom/Colby.
JT talks to Tom. Tells him he better be ready to use the idol cause things are breaking down. JT, Tom and Colby talk. "Cirie is the puppet master, she should go". They hatch a plan where the three of them could get rid of Cirie. It's JT's call.
Tribal, and Jeff is in another shade of dark blue. I think he is reading my blog on facebook. Seriously.
Tom: What is the philosophy? Stephanie was on the wrong side of the numbers Jeff.
Colby: It is looking like because of the numbers, good people will go.
JT: Is it too early for these alliances? Yes, Jeff, the good strong people might go. But, everyone is good this season, Jeff. You need loyal people with strong stomachs.
Rupert: I just want everyone to get along, wear happy tie dyed shirts and sing Kumbaya while we kick some ASS in the challenges.
Jeff: "So, let me get this straight, even though you are not sure it's the best vote, you would still vote just to keep your word?? Are you people nuts?? That just ensures you keep coming back to tribal".
Cirie: Are you worried it's you? Yes
Tom: Do you think Cirie is really worried? No.
James: I just need to be winning me some challenges. This social game is a distraction. My use of steroids has made it difficult for me to use logic.
Colby: It's a distraction but it's necessary when you are on the top of the list.
Time to vote. Jeff forgets to ask for the idol. What is his deal? Thinking about Motel 6?? Tom uses the idol. Candace is laughing. The vote is 3 votes Tom, two votes Colby and 3 votes Cirie, making her the next person voted off. JT looks nervous, James just looks confused.
Cirie: My hats off to them! They got me with one of my own moves.
Heroes
Pool 1 Pool 2
Amanda Wendy Annemarie
Candice Kevin and Matt Nataiya
Colby Carolyn Terry W.
James Elayne Elizabeth T
JT Lori Kevin Ray
Rupert Karen Adam and Aaron
Tom Ginnie Dave W.
Villains
Coach Joanne Rachel R.
Courtney John Wil
Danielle Becky Pam
Jerri Amy Beth W.
Parvati Leslie Tess' Mom and Dad
Rob Nancy Cindy H
Russell Donna Ed Parks
Sandra Kelly Betty
Tyson Tess and Susan Mary
Out
Sugar Jeff and Eileen Adam and Aaron
Stephanie Terri Stephanie D
Randy Stacey Gail
Cirie Kim Christopher
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