Survivor Update: Who You Calling Dead Weight?

You know, one would think that having an extra week to write up the Survivor Summary, I coulda gotten it done at least a day early. One would be wrong, as I have less than 4 hours to figure out what the heck I made notes on, and write them up for y'all,

Ok. So the previous week Cirie was sent home, mostly because JT switched sides. I mean he switched alliances, I have no idea what his sexual preference is. JT tells the tribe, "everything I did I did for the team". Rupert is pissed off. I am guessing we will not be seeing the happy tie dyed shirt tomorrow. Amanda confronts JT. He tells her he "took out Cirie when I had the change. This is not a new Tom/Colby alliance". She's not buying it.

The dragon slayer is singing a little Gregorian chant. Now they are all doing Tai Chi over at the Villains camp. All but Etroll who is looking for the idol. "Ima git it". Seriously, I think he is missing a tooth. Of course he finds it, because the Survivor production crew allows 5th grade girls to hide shit, which means it's mostly on the ground buried under half an inch of sand.

Challenge. Jeff is in dark blue. Yessir he is. It's a basketball. Wanna know what you're playing for? You will be taken to a watering hole, where you can wash the crap out of your butt cracks, thereby polluting an unspoiled natural refuge. Oh, and chocolate. Jeff hands out chocolate samples. The heroes don't eat it because they are "too focused". Colby tells Jeff, "let's just get this started". No u dint! Jeff tells Colby, "We'll get started when I say so". Oh, SNAP. I love it when Jeff is gangsterish. So hot.

Ok, so it's a physical game. Hey, wait, I just got the irony that they are playing basketball right before the march madness. Ok, back to the summary. James takes a hit. Hurts his knee, medical comes in but they let him walk it off. He's out for the challenge.
Amanda scores first. JT and Rob go at it. JT takes Coach down. Rupert hits Jerry's head into the fence. Hey Sellmans, how many times did you rewind that one to see Jerry's expression?? Jerry scores. Villains win reward.

James gets held back for medical attention. Are these medical people always Australian?? They bring in the jungle MRI machine and give him an ace bandage.

Villains are enjoying their chocolate feast. Etroll is all excited that James might be out of the show. Ahole. At the swimming hole, which Etroll does not enjoy, the others are discussing whether or not the troll has the idol. Etroll tells Pervhottie that he found the idol. She's almost excited enough to sleep with him. LOL. Etroll also tells the Dragon Slaya, wants to form an alliance. The king and the dragon slaya make an alliance while wearing striped towels.

Amanda and Candace are worried about James, as am I!! Amanda cries. They assume he isn't coming back, but wait! He comes limping in! Hooray!!! Wait, are they friggin playing the theme song from the Pirates of the Caribbean? Big hugs all around, yet Candace thinks James is dead weight now. Mighty fine looking dead weight let me add.

Immunity Challenge. Dark blue again. It's a blind puzzle challenge. God, I have a great Ishtar quote that no one would get. Such a shame. One person is the caller, the rest are paired up and blindfolded and have to go out into the field and find 10 puzzle pieces. Jerri calls for the Villains, James for the Heroes. Question: are Jerri and the Dragon Slaya no longer together? Rob walks around blindfolded protecting the family jewels. LOL. The heroes get all of their pieces first, and then the villains kick their asses in the friggin 10 piece puzzle.

Back on the Heroes camp, James is anti Tom-"we suck at the puzzles". Tom and Colby want James. JT and Rupert are leaning towards Tom. Candace wants James because he can't run. She however, can barely walk. JT thinks logically James is the way to go but that would put him in a bad way, alliance wise.

Tribal Council. I think this is a slate blue shirt, Donna thought it was green. In any case, I can't keep running off to the Motel 6 in Pottstown 3 times in one night without my husband getting suspicious.

James: "what happened?" "I doesn't hurt"
Jeff: "My niece could beat James right now". Um, Jeff? James could friggin kick your skinny Hollywood ass right now, even if he was in a wheel chair.
JT-"are you concerned James is just saying he's OK". Yes, Jeff, I am concerned.
James turns it around to the puzzle. "Everyone went willy nilly". Who the hell says Willy Nilly??
Tom: "Jeff, he's not being kept because of his physical ability, it's loyalty" "If James is quiet, it's because he's clueless". Wow, Tom does not like not being the head stud this season.
James " If y'all think Tom is better than me? Take me out now".

They vote. WHEW. It's Tom by a slim margin. I'm saved!!