Survivor: Celebrity Envy

Spoiler alert-they got rid of Mike Ditka tonight. LOL. Seriously, because you know an old, out of shape dude is a huge ass threat just because he is on the teevee every week. Ah, the superpower of celebrity in Amerika.


After tribal, when the young people allowed Shannon to commit Survivor suicide, they all walk back to camp saying, "Whew, dodged a whole lot of crazy tonight". All except the evil Nao, who is currently pissed off at Alina, Kelly B and Judd. In addition to Fabio of course, whose "hair be gettin on my nerves".

The old people are hungry. And, they need a little more fiber in their diets so, they decide to find out what the heck the monkeys are eating. They follow them to find some fruit, and JJ does his monkey imitation. Which totally pisses the easily aggravated (see the need for fiber above) Marty. He gets even more pissed off when he sees JJ and the ladies enjoying fishing. Thinks every one has fame glitter in their eyes. Jill tries to calm him down, and suggests they share the fact that they found the idol with the tribe to gain some power. Later in the afternoon Marty shows his find, and everyone is all impressed (helllo, Jill really found it). He tells them it's for the whole tribe to use after the merge. Riiiiiight. Marty the MAAAAN. Tyrone, however, thinks Marty is shady. It's Survivor, everyone is shady.

Fabio, of the hateful hair, is missing his daily inhalation of weed, so he volunteers to blow on the coals every chance he gets. It's his strategy. LOL. Blowing as a strategy-never heard that one before... He wants to be kept around for his brain. NaONOYOUDIDNT is pissed.

Dan-the-1600-shoe-man is afraid people will think he is the weakest link (hey, whatever happened to that TV sensation?). He helps Yve carry water buckets and she notices he is limping.

Over at Baywatch, and FYI every week Wil says, "Christ, is this Survivor Victoria Secret??" Of course, in my house anything not made out of sweatshirt material is considered sexy clothing. "Tribal drew a line in the sand". Alina and KB feel they are on the outs. NaOHNOYOUDIDNT wants those bitches to go.

Challenge, Jeff is in Dark Blue. Be back in a couple hours. No dancing tonight! Both tribes will race out into a field to collect ten tribe colored barrels. Once all ten barrels are retrieved, they must be arranged on individual platforms. Then one person at a time from each tribe will toss sand bags at the barrels with the goal of landing a sand bag on top of each barrel. First tribe to get a sandbag on top of all ten of their barrels wins immunity and reward. Wanna know what you're playing for?? A Survivor garden!! So you can make those disgusting meals taste better. (I think Fabio misunderstood what HERB garden means...) The younger tribe chooses not to use the Medallion of POWAA. "We're arrogant MFers".

Young tribe gets all of their barrels first. Tyrone is throwing and beating Benry. Tryone is good at the close up barrels. But not so much at the farther away ones. JT begs to be let in the game. JJ lets him in when they are 3 bags behind. Young tribe wins immunity. Kelly B runs for the fruit basket, because she thinks the second idol clue will be in there. NaOHNOYOUDIDNT sees the message as well. She grabs the basket, and once back at camp the two get into a BIG ASS fight over the clue. "I'll push you so hard that leg will fall off. I got hood". She also gets the clue. Everyone is pretty appalled at what a crazy ASS chick NaO is. She has to get someone else to help her with the clue 'cause apparently symbol reading isn't taught in the Hood schools. She shares it with the Asian chick 'cause everyone knows they are skilled at symbols.

Jimmy T is pissed off. “The guys that are leaders here are squelching me because I’m an obvious leader and they know it.” Marty is loving it: “It’s kind of enjoyable to watch a little bit of tension for a change in this tribe. I hate to say it but I’m looking forward to Tribal Council. We’re finally going to get this tribe to play this game.”

Should it be JJ or shouldn't it? Over and over and over a-friggin-gain.
Tribal: Light blue.
Marty, what happened? We lost ground, Jeff.
JT: "I wanted play time"
Jill, are you guys relying too much on JJ for strategy? Sometimes...
Hormonal: "JJ steps forward and boosts morale
JT: Me and JJ have never talked
Jeff: 8 days and you have never talked??
JT: I'm a leader myself
Tyrone: It is baffling to me Jeff, I think JT is threatened
JJ: I'm not threatening
Jill: The losses weigh a lot, we need a strong tribe
Dan: I'm strong
Jill: You're still and sore.
Jane: Dan is stiff and sore (is that a crime??)
JT: The tribe needs the strongest players. I'm not week like 3/4 of these people
JJ I'm old and weak (shhhhhhh)
Marty: I want to accelerate the game.

They vote and Jimmy J is back on Sunday football before you know it.

Jeff: You just voted off the proven leader...