Survivor: Who's NOT Pissed Off??

It's Wednesday afternoon, so it's time for me to feverishly write up the blog.  Show of hands, who noticed I never did one last week?  Yea, lazy ass.  Ok, so last week Chelsea won immunity, the girls coalesced and Troy played the idol.  Since the women split the vote between Troy and Jay, Jay was left with that always surprised stupid look on his face.  Wonder if he realizes those girls are not his alliance yet??

And can I say, GAWD I miss Colton!!!  Who knew?? 

So, last week.  Troy is PISSED OFF.  Like REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF.  He knows he's next in line and he is "out to win".  He tells Chelsea "I feel like I should be here longer than 3/4 or these people".  She says it's just a game and he should take it like a man.  "Girls always get their stuff and then they dump the guy". 

Treemail: Individual envelopes with cash.  It's an auction clearly.  Troy knows there is usually an "advantage" sold at the auction and decides he is going to get it. 

Jeff is in that black shirt again.  Which he never wore until he got married.  I feel like it's a cry for help. 

Item 1: 3 donuts and an iced coffee.  Kim and Chelsea vie for it and Chelsea buys it for $160.  Must be Starbucks coffee. 
Item 2: The Karen Sellman Special: Chips, Guacamole and a Margarita.  Sabrina grabs this for $400.
Item 3: Protein shake and bananas, which little monkey man Leif snags for a measly $100
Item 4: A shower, shampoo and a toothbrush.  Kim walks away with this for $40.  Seriously, I wonder if you could have bought it and made someone else use it if it would have gone higher??
Item 5: BLT, chips and an iced tea goes to Kat for $180. 
Item 6: Peanut butter and chocolate has Kim coming out of the shower to purchase this for $200.  Alicia is too cheap with the Survivor money! 

Jeff asks Tarzan why he isn't bidding on food and he says that he's saving it to buy shocks for his car.  Either that or he knows there are hookers available for the jury. 

Item 7: Letters from home.  Awwww.  Alicia spends her whole $500 for letters from her Dad.  Jeff asks if anyone else wants to buy their letters?  Tarzan is crying and decides that it puts the car repair in perspective. 

Troy is also crying because he's all alone.  Nobody likes him, he has no alliance left...

Item 8 is the advantage.  Troy and Christine start bidding.  WHY did Troy not just start at $500 if he really wanted it that bad??  Stupid.  But everyone else is pushing Christine to increase her bid.  Troy finally gets it for $420 and is all PISSED off that they all want him off that bad that they're all in for Christine to buy the advantage. 

Item 9 is covered and comes with a note.  Kat buys it for $160 and it's an entire cake for the whole tribe, although they only get 60 seconds to eat.  Not very  healthy if you ask me. 

And with that the auction is over.  I always wonder what it feels like after all these days to suddenly eat a shitload of sugar.  Kinda like Easter morning in the no chocolate during lent households I guess-although thanksgod I have never lived in one of those households!!

Back at camp, Troy reads his advantage, "move directly to the second part of the immunity challenge".  He's also crazily looking for another immunity idol "without shame".  Why would you have shame?  And why are the rest of the  idiots not looking??

Everyone is bagging on poor Christine for not buying the note.  So for once they want Christine to stay around! 

Troy is looking all over for the idol, and Kim sees him and he fakes that he has it.  Everyone's freaking out, and Kim isn't the golden girl anymore. 

Challenge: Jeff is in dark blue.  Sorry, Jeff, Nene on Real Housewives of Atlanta suggests we ladies close our legs to married men. 

For some strange reason only Leif has painted his face.  Part one of the challenge is what I like to call the jewelry box challenge, aka untangling knots.  Only 3 people plus Troy will move on to the second stage, which is the bounce coconuts at a target challenge.  Only 2 will move onto the final leg, which is the fire coconuts at a target challenge. 

Moving on with Troy are Tarzan (yes, in that damn speedo), Kim and Christina.  Moving on to the final part are Troy and Tarzan.....................and TROY WINS IMMUNITY!! On his way over to get the necklace he says "Don't eff with me".  Which surprisingly does not go over well! 

Whole lotta pissed off people back at camp!  Tarzan tells Troyzan "when you win you should be noble".  Troy is pretty much FUCK THAT. 

And with that the paranoia sets in big time.  Kim and Christina decide there's no point in voting off a girl now just to do so, so it has to be a guy, leaving Tarzan and Leif on the chopping block.  Tarzan is helping little Leif wipe the strange makeup off his little face.  They're both kinda like, well it's you or me!  Troy decides to talk to the peeps he thinks are on the bottom to upend the game.  He's working it.  Alicia tells Kim that Troy is on to something...

Tribal. 
Troy, you seem to be showing a little animosity?  It's my competitive spirit Jeff, they are all gunning for me.  Sabrina, do you think it's just competitiveness?  He is competitive but you also need to be likable.  They go back and forth in a big fight that everyone else just sits back and watches.  Troy brings up his idea that Tarzan, Leif, Christina and  Alicia long with him could vote Kim out and change the game.  He says they would have the numbers to do it. 

Kim agrees they have the numbers but "no one knows who is at the bottom".  Oh, I'm pretty sure someone does, Kim!  Christina agrees that Troy's math works.  And Alicia says, "if someone would flip, the girls would be screwed".  Alicia isn't sure when the best time to make a move is.

And can I add, before they vote that I would be freaking PISSED off if I starved for 27 days and still had Alicia's thighs. 

Vote: Kim gets 2 votes, Tarzan gets 3 and Leif is the 4th member of the jury.  I'll miss you ya little monkey!!