Survivor: Lisa comes alive!

Whoah, who gave Lisa caffeine?  She's a little fighter!! 

After last week, Jonathan feels betrayed by his alliance.  He's pissed.  Jeff is thinking perhaps it wasn't a good idea to give up power to Pete.  Ya think so jackass??

Mike and Jon talk.  Mike doesn't want him to give up.  Says "there are cracks  in their alliance.  Let's just wait for them to screw themselves".  Wise advice.

Lisa has a plan...or two...or three.  First up is to get rid of Jon or Mike, then flip things so that they can get rid of Pete, Abi and Artis. 

Reward challenge-something to interrupt the constant scheming.  Split into 2 teams, swim out and get 4 buoys, get pulled back, dig up the key to the puzzle frame and then do a flag puzzle.  Wanna know?  A river cruise with ribs, cornbread, iced tea.  LOL.  I love how they gave up actually enjoying the local culture about 5 seasons ago. 

Blue team is Mike, Pete, Artis, Abi and Carter vs the Yellow team of Denise, Malcolm, Lisa, Jeff and Jonathan.  I wonder if they got to chose their own teams?  So, it's neck and neck and then Lisa sucks at swimming.  Denise makes up the time and then Mike can't find his buoy.  The blue team gets to the puzzle first but yellow crushes it and wins reward.  NOTE: the patterns on the yellow flag are MUCH EASIER TO DIFFERENTIATE. 

Back on the beach, Abi is asked who is in their alliance and she spouts off a bunch of information which pisses Pete off.  He says she's immature and just leaks information.  He'd love to get rid of her but anyone standing next to her at the end is guaranteed a million dollars.  So, we have officially entered the "let's keep the total dicks" portion of the game. 

On reward, they are all happy happy happy to be together, because Pete, Abi and Artis have a reputation as being negative complainers.  But the winners are all happy and nice!  LOL.  Jon says he doesn't want to see bullies win, so he's willing to go with any of the 4 on the reward with him. He's scrambling surely. 

Lisa's new plan is to go into the final with people who are not really well liked and nice, ie, Abi, Pete and Artis, and Mike because he is her buddy.  She tells Mike that Malcolm has the idol.  She wants Tandang to hold together. 

It all depends on immunity.

Immunity Challenge: Only 1 idol this time around.  2 phase challenge.  First is an obstacle course, second is a puzzle challenge for the 3 winners of the first round. 

First round.....Pete, Jeff and Jon.  Moving onto the snake puzzle, it's Jeff and Pete until BAM Jonathan pulls ahead and wins his first ever immunity.  NOTE: he had the yellow snake pieces which had much clearer patterns. I'm totally saying it is a conspiracy. 

Soooooo.  All plans are off now and it's time to scramble.  First it's Mike.  Jeff says, 'sorry Mike".  Then Lisa tells Pete about Malcolm and the idol.  Says they should blindside him at tribal.  Pete is totally surprised, and asks Malcolm about it.  Malcolm says he doesn't have the idol and asks where he heard it.  Lisa.  Pete tells Malcolm he can save him if they go with Jeff. 

Lisa confronts Pete about telling Malcolm and he's all wishy washy.  Suddenly there are 6 people intending to vote for Pete.  Jeff tells Carter everyone is voting for Pete and Carter says, "dude, I thought it was you...".

Total scramble!

Tribal council:
Mike, is it you?  Not sure since I heard people talking today...
Malcolm: Lisa totally there me under the bus.
Probst: Lisa???
Lisa: Yep. I did.
Abi: One of our tribe members just screwed us.
Lisa:  But you were OK with getting rid of Mike
Abi: He was always on the outside.  Our alliance is Pete, me, Artis and you. 
Malcolm: Say WHAT??
Abi:  Oh yea, I probably wasn't supposed to say that.
Lisa:  I was trying to get the idol out.  I was playing both sides but my alliance is tandang.
Malcolm: Yo, I totally have the idol and I'm totally playing it.
Probst:  Anyone else have an idol??
Abi: I do Jeff. 

What a total idiot.  So now everyone shares the various plans and it's all out in the open. 

Time to vote:
Abi 1
Pete 4
Jeff 5

And just like that I will not be winning any Survivor pool this time around!

Survivor Non Election Edition

Yo!!!  Who's up for a little NON HURRICANE Survivor?  I KNOW Karen Sellman is!!  She was observed around last Thursday trying to start a fire with John's glasses and a handful of Chihuahua hair. 

So, yo.  Last week there was no update. 2 tribes. Yellow and Red.  Yellow doesn't have much food.  Probably because freaking Michael eats it RAW.  Challenge: Giant ball that looks like a rubber band ball, 3 per tribe have to push it around in the mud.  WORST CHALLENGE IN THE HISTORY OF SURVIVOR.  It's so freaking lame that an hour later they are all still stuck in the mud going nowhere.  Kudos, though, for Lisa in keeping Denise pinned in the mud.  Jonathan and Michael start to negotiate.  Jonathan offers their remaining rice for the win.  Michael takes it, with RC's support and no one except Artis and the Brazilian really arguing against it.  They take the deal, Red goes off to eat and Abi, Pete and Artis are totally pissed off.  Blah blah blah, immunity challenge-Malcolm (with Lisa's help) kick ass in the chucking and catching contest and Red goes to tribal once again.  There's Penner drama but ultimately Katie is voted off. 

Phew.  Ok.  Last week.  Boat arrives, it's the merge.  So that rice thing totally worked out.  Both tribes go to a new beach, eat food and if they renamed themselves I totally missed that.  Jeff is upset that there are now 2 veterans he has to be pissed off about.  But let's face it, he's also PISSED off that no one recognizes him as the baseball hero.  Maybe he should stand around picking at his crotch so they figure it out. 

I'm already confused so bare with me.  The Yellow tribe consists of:

Michael
RC
Lisa
Pete
Abi
Artis
Malcolm

Red is: Penner, Jeff. Denise. Carter

So it's basically a 7-4 split which would favor the yellow tribe to pick off the red tribe.  But Michael and RC are on the outs, Lisa is in la la land although I think she would go along with Michael and RC, which leaves the Pete/Abi horror show and the always angry Artis.  Malcolm is still in the air  but is really aligned with Denise over on red.  Jeff is aligned with Carter, says he is with Penner and a Denise is kinda aligned with him. 

Everyone starts building shelter and Lisa, who is totally into the laundry and who I totally wish lived near me, decides to go into everyone's stuff and hang the clothes out to dry.  She finds Malcolm's idol, and he sees her do it.  Malcolm tells Denise and then he goes to confront Lisa.  She's all "I totally didn't meant it"  and he believes her.  He offers her an alliance with Denise and him but he's worried that he's now aligned with 2 people who could beat him at the end.  "Hallelujah the church lady found my idol".  LOL. 

Penner is old enough to recognize Lisa.  They have a little bonding session, and some strange talk about how they would be friends if they sat down and had lunch and talked about their lives.  Whatever, I walked the dog during this part. 

Strategizing has begun.  RC and Mike talk-we really aren't aligned with the rest of yellow so why not approach the red team?  Mike talks to Jeff.

Jeff is working the other side of the yellow tribe-he and Carter (aka Blue Lagoon) are talking with Pete, Malcolm and Artis against Penner. They wonder if Penner has the idol and come up with an idea for a 4-4 split between Penner and RC to flush out the idol. 

Challenge:  It's a hang on to you can't thing.  Hold a rope spool with a bucket holding 25% of your weight in water.  My husband got all hung up on "was that their prior weight or did they just weigh them??"  Yea,  he's annoying that way.  Immunity for one male and one female.

Denise of course gets the female immunity.  Male comes down to Jeff and Blue Lagoon.  Seriously, that dude is buying ganja from the natives.  Jeff says to Carter "I drop and u owe me one".  Carter says "Whatever dude, sure".  No idea if they actually made a deal but Jeff drops out giving the stoner immunity. 

Back at camp.  I keep getting confused!  Mike and RC say they will line up with the Red tribe to make 6.  But Mike is worried that as they do that, Jeff and Carter will align with Abi/Artis/Pete and Malcolm.  Mike doesn't want Pete/Artis or Abi to get the upper hand because they are "rude".  Jeff and Carter realize that they are the swing votes tonight.  If they stick with Mike and RC they can get rid of Penner.  If they go with the rude yellow alliance they end up at the bottom of the group.  Penner walks up and says, "yo I'm loyal and am hoping y'all are too". We should take out Pete and take control of the game.  Which is really a good idea in my mind UNLESS you are obsessed with Penner going home.  So of course Jeff tells Pete he and Carter are with them. 

You have NO IDEA how long that last paragraph took me to write.  LOL. 

Tribal
Is there animosity in the yellow tribe?  RC says, sure but we're all one big happy family.  Uhuh, but only one of you can win.  Abi's all "that bitch betrayed me".  RC is all "no I didn't"  Abi "yes you did you unburied the clue"  "Did not".  Abi:  "Your actions speak louder than your words".  BITCH GO BACK TO BRAZIL.

Probst ends this exchange and Lisa points out both the plus and the minuses of switching your alliance.  If you switch you look like you aren't loyal BUT you might move up the food chain.  I think she has finally gotten her Survivor legs.

Pete then bags on the returning players. 

Jeff:  Either way there is gonna be a blindside

Vote.  Penner plays the idol. 

Penner 5
RC 4
Pete 2

RC is voted off.  Only RC and Penner vote for Pete.  Jeff and Carter vote with Pete and Artis to take out Carter thereby switching their alliance.  Everyone else votes for Penner. 


Carter                    Carolyn           Tess
Jeff                        Elayne            Susan
Jonathan                Joanne            Betty
Abi                        Connie            Nikki
Michael                John                    Wendy
Lisa                       Jill                    Kim
Pete                        Lori                    Annemarie
Artis                        Leslie                Stephanie
Malcolm               Nancy            Donna/John

OUT

Zane                   Kelly             Donna/John (now alt 1)
Roxy                    Cindy             Becky (now alt 2)
Angie                   Kelly              Donna
Russell                Amy               Becky
Dawson                 Jeff/Eileen        Sandy
Dana                      Cindy             Liz
Katie                       Stacey            Rachel
RC                        Kevin/Matt        Ron