Survivor Update With a Poop Rant

I feel like I haven't bagged on Sherri enough, so with that in mind I googled her because I couldn't stand seeing she was a "fast food franchise" owner.  Apparently she owns a couple Wentz Pretzels (??), a couple of Jimmy Johns, a Cinnabon and a Haagen Das. I seriously can't stand her, and I believe she has permanently dyed eyelashes, or tattoo'd eyeliner.  Ya know what else I found out?  She named her son after Colby Donaldson.  Her plan going into the game was to flirt.  Uhuh.  How's that working out for ya??

Ok.  I feel better.  So last time we spoke, Phillip was voted off.  And this week everyone in Stealth R Us apparently has the sads about it.  Brenda has a little melt down and Dawn tells her to keep drinking the brownish water.  They are apparently all hungry and low on food.  Is it me or have they already gone through about 10 giant bags of rice and beans?? 

Aaaand, it's the required auction day.  Malcolm swears he isn't buying ANY food.  Just holding off for the "advantage" clue.  Which is funny because Malcolm buys the first thing Jeff puts up.  $20 for 3 beers and nuts.  A better deal than at Citizen's Park!  Reynolds spends $180 for a covered item, and then is given the choice to trade for one of 2 other covered items.  He sticks with the original one and gets a single slice of pizza.  Sherri blows her entire $500 on the rest of the pizza. 

Dawn spends $500 on a chicken.  Malcolm spends his remaining $480 on the information clue.  It's directions to a buried immunity idol.  Andrea and Brenda bid up the next item, pissing Brenda off.  Andrea gets spaghetti, garlic bread and wine BUT she also gets a chance to give that up and get...yet more bags of beans and rice.  She takes the beans and rice. 

$340 from Cochran for an advantage at the next immunity challenge.  Brenda finally gives in and buys a covered item for $300 and gets a pig brain.  I think she does eat it.  $20 to everyone for letters from home.  Sherri, Dawn and Malcolm can't buy them.  And finally, Eddie spends $200 for a giant bowl of peanut butter he can share for 60 seconds, and they all get to keep anything smeared on their bodies.  Sherri feeds Cochran peanut butter from her fingers. Jeff: "how often does that happen?"  Cochran: "More often than you think, Jeff".  LOL

OK, time for my hygiene rant.  I cannot believe everyone dipped into that bowl of peanut butter and spread it on their dirty bodies and then ate it. Seriously I'm still disgusted.  There must be Purrell bottles behind all of the fake trees in the jungle because there is no way you cold go 39 days without washing your hands and not comes down with a nasty E. Coli infection.  And you never see where they poop.  Do they all poop in the same place or what?  In all the seasons I have never heard anyone talk about digging a latrine.  Why is that?  BECAUSE THERE ARE PROBABLY PORTA POTTIES AROUND THE BEND.  Seriously, no one steps in someone else's poop?  Do they poop in the water when they're out there?  Wouldn't the poop float back on to the beach and someone would say, "yo, your poop floated in, go pick it up".  I swear there is a conspiracy of poop silence.  Like the Survivors have to sign a contract that says they can never discuss pooping. And why do the women never get nasty yeast infections?  I mean come ON, 39 days in a wet bathing suit??  Seriously, if they gave then flour they could probably make bread.  Yet you never see anyone scratching their privates all day long.  Yep.  There are probably wipes hiding under the rocks. 

So where was I?  Oh yea, the auction is concluded.  Wrap and the boys decide to work on getting Sherri to vote with them. 

Malcolm spends the night digging all around the tree he's sure has the idol.  Andrea comes upon him and just sits and watches him.  It's a stand off. 

Immunity Challenge:  Hold a rope with a log attached to it that weighs 1/3 or your original body weight.  Every 5 minutes move your hand down the rope knots until you run out.  Cochran gets to move his hands back up 2 knots whenever he chooses.  He chooses wisely to do it as soon as they move to the 3rd knot, so the entire time he's holding less weight.  It comes down to Cochran, Eddie and Wrap.  Cochran continues to be the challenge monster and wins immunity!!

Malcolm works on Sherri, Wrap on Erik.  Dawn works on Erik.  Question: should they split the vote or should they just all go in on one person?  Is Erik loyal??  Sherri tells the camera that she now calls the shots. 

Tribal:

Wrap-yes Jeff, the last tribal council changed things.  I don't think it's still 6-3.
Andrea: anyone flipping now will be voted out next.
Sherri-of course if you're at the bottom of the 6...
Dawn: Sherri, I hope you don't really think you're at the bottom of the 6.
Malcolm: it was a crazy day looking for that idol
Jeff: why all the talk about idols this season??
Dawn: Um, probably because they are getting played over and over this season, Jeff.
Erik: Yes I am concerned someone could flip. 
Cochran goes through the whole scenario and says "it only takes one person to change things"
Sherri just sits there looking like the cat who got the cream. 

Vote.  No Idol played.  The vote is split between Wrap, Malcolm and Andrea.  Second vote it's all Malcolm. 

I wonder what was worse, getting voted off or having to go to Ponderosa right after blindsiding Phillip???