Survivor: Death of Pig Pen

Ahhhhh, some episodes when I re-watch to take notes and do the update are a chore.  But this episode was an utter JOY to re-watch.  Just the Best. Damn. Tribal. Ever.

So the week before "the gay", Michael went to Ponderosa.  Malcolm says "everything we tried to do went wrong".  Meanwhile Stealth R US is celebrating since "they have no idols now!!!"

Malcolm: We gotta get up tomorrow and find that idol!

Cochran and Phillip are sitting around talking about how Dawn is stronger than they thought when she loses her shit.  Apparently she has summer teeth (as in some are there and some are not) and she lost her plate when she was swimming.  She's crying and yelling for Brenda to come and help her, because if she doesn't find it "I'm pulling myself from the game".  Brenda comes out and finds her teeth, they hug and bond over the missing dentures. 

Challenge:  Teams are divided and have to run a balance beam, dig bags of balls up from mud, roll around in the rice that the little Hantz shit dumped and Mark Burnett insisted they find a use for, and then the teams have to shoot balls in a basket thing.  Wanna know?  A trip to a resort, lunch and a nice swimming pool.  Or as Jeff calls it "my home while doing Survivor". 

Purple team is Wrap, Erick, Dawn, Cochran and Phillip.  Orange: Eddie, Malc, Sherri, Brenda and Andrea. 

Erick and Malcolm start out and Erick flies through while Malcolm tries to find all of the bags in the mud for the rest of his team.  Interesting strategy that Wrap takes up and does better, finding all of his balls while Phillip is looking for the last one.  Sherri totally DRAGS the orange team down because those fake breasts really are difficult for someone to walk on a balance beam with.  Basically it's a slam dunk for the purple team. 

Reward.  Tons of food.  Cochran says " I hear protein is good for one's strength and I need to keep mine up so I can keep being a challenge monster".  Dawn is all into the shower.  Seriously, if I'd been living with these people for 28 days I would not have cared a BIT about stripping my bathing suit off and really taking a shower out in the open.  Jeff could have pixalated all of my good parts.  But she doesn't. 

Phillip skips the shower and jumps right into the beautiful clean pool and like pig pen, leaves a giant cloud of dirt and rice all in the pool.  Erick is totally disgusted with him.  "It's like how he always is-jumps in without a care for the rest of us". 

Returning back to camp Dawn can't sleep like all of us her age.  She's totally paranoid about being blindsided.  She's paranoid about Andrea spending time with Eddie and Malcolm. She's convinced they are conspiring to take her out on her 28 day anniversary. 

Phillip declares Dawn is a lunatic and she's gone.  Even Cochran is suspicious of why she is so sure she thinks she is going to be blindsided.   Andrea and Phillip agree that she's losing it.  Dawn cries to Cochran.    "It's looking like another hummingbird is zipping over the cuckoo's nest. 

Next morning she wakes up "normal" having slept really well in her striped high socks and granny dress.  Stealth R US meet and discuss strategy.  Split the vote.  "Tonight nothing can go wrong..."

Immunity Challenge.  It's the a reenactment of the Shelley Winters final swim from the Poseidon Adventure.  Google it. 

In 2 heats Survivors will run over a swim platform, dive under and pull themselves along the length, jump back up, grab a ring and repeat.   First time 2 times, second time 5 times. 

First heat: Wrap, Cochran, Dawn, Andrea and Sherri.  Wrap and Andrea move on.

In the second heat Phillip pulls himself out.  As we will hear again and again he had an incident as a child and can't to the challenge.  So it's Brenda. Malcolm, Eddie and Erick.  Brenda and Malcolm move on.

Wrap wins immunity!  I don't really like him but he is some decent eye candy. Wrap declares when the get back to camp that he respects everyone for doing the challenge.  He has no respect for Phillip. 

Phillip and Andrea agree-let's split the vote between Malcolm and Eddie. 

Last minute search for the idol.  Now, this is why I would never have an immunity necklace on Survivor.  There is NO FREAKING way I would be putting my hands in tree holes or in rock crevices where there could be biting or stinging things.  Of course that's only when the trees are real and not just paper mache sets!  Anyway, the boyz club is out looking and Dawn and Andrea decide to go out as well.  They are literally standing there when Malcolm pulls out an idol.  Hmmmmm.  Is it a new one or the one we already know he has??? 

Stealth R Us decides to still split the vote.

Tribal. 

Wrap- you guys really are on the outs aren't you?  Yep!
Eddie: One of us needs to keep winning immunity to stay in the game
Andrea: Yep, Eddie my love you are a dead man walking tonight because Malcolm has the idol.  And a BIG ASS shit eating grin.  He pulls it out and puts it on. 
Cochran: Wrap actually was our first choice. 
Jeff gives Phillip an excuse to tell his boy trapped under a dock story one last time. 
Andrea: Yes, there is a lot of paranoia. 
Malcolm: Yes Jeff there is also tension.  Where the hell are  you getting these lame ass questions?? Just to change the topic, Malcolm pulls the other idol out of his pocket and gives it to Eddie who is about to fall over from joy and shock.  LOL!!

And it's the funniest 5 minutes of Survivor history as all of the other 7 scramble and talk in front of the "3 amigos" about who to switch the vote to.  Jeff says he wants to have individual remotes so he can pause all of the conversations and hear them all. 

Malcolm: oh, and we're all voting for Phillip.  He's the fun sponge and it doesn't have to be all militaristic out here.
Phillip accuses him of labeling him.
Andrea:  Jeff I am totally confused and still paranoid
Erick:  Hey y'all I know I never ever talk but yo, they haven't all said they were going to PLAY their idols....maybe "we" should stick with our original plan. 
Phillip: Yea, we should vote the way we were going to anyway.  LOL, which basically ensures they will play them...
Cochran:  I'm having a bipolar moment because this is so exciting!!
Dawn: We could still take someone out in our own alliance...

Time to vote... anyone want to play their idols?  Hell yes! Eddie can't wait to. Malcolm thinks about it but plays it. 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Phillip is vote out.  Basically Erick sold him out I think because of the swimming pool Foo Pa.