Survivor LLama Talk!

Hello and welcome to the finale day update.  CAN TONY BE STOPPED???  Will Woo finally realize HE'S ON SURVIVOR??  Will Kass become even more hate-able??  And could Spencer actually pull this one out?  IT'S ALL DOWN TO 2 HOURS TONIGHT.  Lots of internet rumors of a final 2 instead of a final 3.  

Last week after Woo and Kass changed their minds at the last minute and sent Tasha home, Spencer was all 'why bother with the charade??"  Tony tells him they were just toying with him but that they are all still loyal to him. Kass is thinking she should go with Tony to the finale.  Woo isn't even thinking.  Spencer thinks that no one knows how to play the game.  

Tony talks to Woo and says he believes that Kass can't get any jury votes.  Woo just thinks it would be "fun" to sit next to his buddy Tony at the final vote.  Because that is the whole point of Survivor.  Getting to spend quality time with your big smelly friend.  Tony admits that Woo is genuine and a threat.  "It's gonna be a shame to blindside him".  

Mud Challenge for Pizza Delivery.  So, are we going to go a whole season without the family visits??  Load yourself up with mud, and dump it in a bucket.  Gee, how ironic that the fat boy with much more surface area wins this one.  Tony gets to pick someone to join him and he picks starving Trish.  

Kass is annoyed at this.  It shows that Tony is the alpha male and Trish is the alpha female.  "No one should have that much power in the game".  Spencer thinks everyone is handing Tony the game.  

Tony inhales his pizza.  Trish thinks he's gonna puke it up, he's eating so fast.  Nooooo Tooooooony, slooooooow down, you're grooooooooss.  I have a feeling Tony would be like an animal and barf it all up just to eat it all over again.  He tells Trish that he does have a special power idol and that he can use it at final 4, which is a lie,  

Once back and full of dough, Tony confronts Kass.  "Woo told me you were conspiring against me".  He says he pledged on his wife and baby that she was gonna go final 3.  Kass says, Chaos Kass is back.  Hey, Kass, you're the only one who thinks this is amusing.  

Kass tells Woo that Tony told her that Woo spilled the beans about the potential of getting rid of Tony.  Woo says no, and Kass takes that back to Tony.  WHY ARE YOU INVESTIGATING??? You sealed your fate!!!  Kass tells the group that Tony swore final 3 to her.  

AND TONY DOES LLAMA TALK.  WTF was that all about??  Tony thinks Kass is an insult to the game.  She tells Tony that what she did was strategic, and that now one of your people doesn't trust you.  She tells Woo that he needed to know what Tony was saying.  She now wants to pull in Woo and Spencer and ruin Tony's game.  

Woo finally thinks, "Why would Tony take me to the final 3 when I have a better reputation with the jury?"  Spencer tells him that if he goes, then basically Tony and Trish are in the drivers seat to decide.  Woo's like, 'OMG, I never thought of that!!!"  

Trish, however, overheard the whole conversation.  

Immunity Challenge.  COME ON IN GUYS!  Today Immunity is UP FOR GRABS.  Untangle a braid for a key, put up ladder rungs, lay down planks and then solve the trademarked Survivor slide Puzzle.  (pat pending).  

Trish totally sucks at all challenges.  Did I ever mention that?  So, yea, she's still trying to figure out how to cross the starting line.  Tony kicks ass through the challenge and gets to the puzzle first.  And then just starts flailing the pieces around.  Remind me again, he's from the Brawn tribe?  I guess being a cop in Jersey City, you don't get to do a lot of slide puzzles.  Spencer comes from behind and kills the puzzle in Brain fashion.  He wins immunity again!  Wow, he should TOTALLY WIN THIS SEASON.  LOL!  

So back at camp Trish confronts Kass. DO YOU THINK I'M DEAF OR STUPID??? God, I totally love when people ask those open ended questions about their stupidity.  She keeps yelling at Kass I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOUR VICTIM STUFF.  I WILL PULL YOU APART IN 30 SECONDS, YOU AND YOUR BIG UGLY FACE ARE NOT WINNING!!!!!!!!!  

In one of the most hilarious responses, Kass calls her SKELETOR and a vicious, cruel human.  

Tony suggests he and Trish take a walk..... He walks away with Trish and Woo.  Kass and Spencer tell each other "we need Woo".  

Tony asks them both if they have any questions, in that fatherly tone of voice that means THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY QUESTIONS TONIGHT.  Woo asks him if he really did swear on his kid and his wife to Kass.  Tony admits he did but I'm now swearing to you on my mother, AND MY DEAD DAD that Kass is gone.  Any bets that his father is still alive?? 

Woo realizes he can't trust Tony.  He also realizes this is a reality show, and that he's Asian and frankly, unnaturally NOT wickedly smart.  SHOULD I MAKE A BIG MOVE??? OR WAIT A COUPLE MORE WEEKS???

 Woo comes back, kneels by Kass and tells her "I'm voting for Trish".  Kass and Spencer are skeptical.  WHY???  Woo says it's for his long term strategy.  He does know it's like day 33, right??  Spencer tells him that since Trish and Tony are inseparable,  They can't both get to the final 4 while Trish is still there.  

Tribal-Sarah has completely gained every ounce she lost.  

Tony-so one of your 4 is going tonight?  Yes, Jeff the Challenge Beast won again.

Kass-Trish came at me like a blue eyed skeletal banshee today

Trish says something about "capacity for hatred".  Says Kass always is the victim.  If you are going to pit people against each other, don't sit back and claim innocence.  She basically fights with everyone.  

Spencer-yes, Jeff, it's all good for me.  This process was going to happen but immunity sped it up

Woo-it has made hidden animosity evident.  Now, it's back to a 3 brawn, 2 brain alliance.  Spencer and Kass are aligned.

Kass-I didn't predict the psycho bitch was gonna emerge but Tony was caught telling both me and Woo we were final 3

Tony-She's delusional.  She's a strategist and she's sealed her own fate.  Kass shows no emotion on her face ever. 

Kass tells Tony he's an ass

Tony talks llama talk again.

Jeff is just amused.

Spencer-it's funny but in that One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest funny.  

Woo-it's like Tony is Dad, Trish is Mom, Spencer and Kass are their kids and I'm the foreign exchange student. (Say it with me people-"no more yankee my wankee, the Donger is tired")

Tony-it's game play tonight and I brought my bag of tricks.  Puts his idols both on.  

Spencer-that does complicate things!

Time to vote.  Any idols?  Tony plays it.  Trish is votes out (and Tony voted for her as well).  She tells them "good luck" and Kass shoots her the finger while the jury watches. Tasha and Jefra share a look about Kass.....

Survivor Update: Hmmm, maybe they were the smart people...

So, let me just apologize for not commenting yet this season on HOW MUCH TONY LOOKS LIKE A FRIGGIN MONKEY FACE.  Seriously, are you sitting there every Wednesday discussing amongst yourselves how I could be over looking this?  HOLY SHIT.  I just looked at the TV and said, HE'S A MONKEY FACE. 

Ok, last week Jefra stayed with her alliance and male model Jeremiah was sent packing.  Spencer used his idol to protect himself instead of giving it to Jeremiah, and Kass has to rub it in his face. She is kind of a bitch.  Says of course he wouldn't give it up he's the most selfish of the species, a college age boy.  Hmmmm, me thinks someone didn't get invited to the Senior Dance in college! 

It's Survivor Auction day.  And, it's also time for me to rant.  The trouble with this show is it has become predictable.  Everyone knows there is going to be an 'advantage" for sale.  This time, it meant the food was a buyers market with Tony, Tasha and Spencer sitting out bidding and waiting for the advantage.  Tony is such a (monkeyfaced) paranoid bastard that even with the special GAME RUINING idol he still can't handle the thought of someone else getting a slight edge.  Trish, on the other hand, is either feeling really safe or is totally clueless as to strategy.  She is HUNGRY.  She buys the first item-popcorn, candy and soda- for $80.  OMG, IT'S A GUMMY BEAR!!!  My prediction is at the after show she is  going to weigh about 220.  That girl is going to come off the island like a hoover vacuum cleaner. 

Jefra buys the next mystery package and gets quesadillas, quac and a margarita for $100.  For $20 Kass gets the choice of 2 covered trays,  The one she takes has a steak sandwich and ice tea.  At this point Trish is all "why aren't you people eating???"  "Cheapo Deapo's".  Trish buys the tray Kass gave up for $60 and gets rice and water.  LOL.  Ribs and beer go for $40 to Woo who describes them in their entirety. 

Jeff asks Tony, Spencer and Tasha what they are waiting for.  They want an advantage,  Jeff.  Ok, so lets got to it.  Tony yells out $500.  Nope.  If it reaches the maximum, then anyone who has the money and wants in can pay $500 for a chance to draw rocks.  Tony and Spencer are in but FOR WHATEVER REASON, Tasha doesn't.  Idiot.  It would have increased the odds that she and Spencer would have gotten it.  Big surprise, Tony gets the advantage and the auction is ended.

Dear Mark Burnett/Jeff Probst.  PLEASE STOP SELLING AN ADVANTAGE AS AN ADVANTAGE.  If you want to include an advantage in the auction, might I suggest you mention that one of the items up for sale might include an additional advantage?  That way, more people would bid the food stuff up.  Either that or totally skip the advantage next time around and totally screw people over who wait for it and get neither an advantage or food. 

Spencer is miserable and Kass is loving it.  Tony is pissed off that people bought food and ate.  He's also annoyed by the girls sitting around discussing what they ate.  So he wonders off, reads the advantage and yawn, it's a clue to the immunity idol. 

The girls are in the water rinsing out their cooches, and Tasha makes sure Tony sees her right in the mix.  She wants to make him paranoid.  Tony doesn't disappoint.  He sees them all talking and starts wigging out, complaining to Spencer about it.  Spencer, who really is playing a great game, asks Tony if he's worried?  He proceeds to tell him how Jefra wanted to blindside him, and how she was saying she could get Trish to flip as well.  Spencer knows Tony is crazy and could easily be pushed. 

A little later on, the girls and Spencer are in the water and Tony is pissed off.  There's a dying crab and Jefra tells him to hurry up and cook it so it doesn't go bad.  He's mumbles to his ever present sidekick Woo "get your ass up here and cook!" 

A little later, and for whatever reason it is accompanied by the "suspenseful music", Tony finds another idol.  He runs around showing it to his alliance, supposedly because it's for "all of us", but mainly so they don't try to flip and blindside him. 

Challenge:  Race to dig up 5 bags, each one with a ball in it to be used in a table maze.  Kass and Trish are totally lost digging for balls (life imitates art, once again...) and as Jeff says "Tony goes crazy and knocks his balls all over the place".  It's a race between Woo and Tasha, with Tasha once again winning immunity! 

Tasha is still working Tony with her chattering to the woman.  Tony counts and figures out there are 4 women and 3 men.  One of his alliances is an all male one, since he thinks there might be the beginnings of an all female alliance.  He tells Spencer's theory and that he wants Jefra to go.  He talks to Woo, who is like, cool dude.  Tony wants Spencer to get Tasha in on it, and of course she's fine.  He chooses not to tell Trish or Kass the plan. 

Spencer doesn't totally trust Tony, so he goes searching for the idol, which makes Tonymonkeyface mad.  He tells Woo "there's going to be chaos tonight!" 

Tribal
Spencer-yes, Jeff, one would think I was in trouble tonight.
Tony-IT'S CHAOTIC OUT THERE!! Spencer tried to make me think Jefra was against me.  He pulls out his idol and puts it on.  "I'm not going anywhere tonight"
Jefra-I was upset about LJ
Trish-she was upset that you didn't TELL her about LJ
Tony-you don't advertise a blindside dumbass.  All they have left is a belief in our alliance.
Spencer-chaos is great!  If I can mix things up it only helps me.
Kass-someone could very well make a mistake tonight.
Spencer-I've played well and hard but I'm not ready to go.  There are windows of opportunity that open and close fast.  Not making a move when the opportunity arises is why most people lost the game.

Jeff: sniff sniff, you said that way better than I ever did and I've had like 20 seasons of trying.  Let's vote.

It's 3 votes for Spencer and 4 votes for Jefra!  Another blindside!!