So, Jeff has sold his soul to the Brazilian Devil, and her current besties and now has to kiss the asses of not just Abi but SAVAGE and Tasha. Tasha tells Woo that it should have been Jeff and not PG. She's still mad at his sweet whisperings at the challenge the other day. She promises Woo that he isn't going anywhere. Uhuh. Maybe she should have checked with the CRAZY ASS person in her 3 way alliance. In fact, Abi freaks out just at the sight of Tasha talking to Woo after he WROTE HER NAME DOWN 2 TIMES. Woo tells Abi he's sorry that he WROTE HER NAME DOWN 2 TIMES and she's all "it's personal now". Sleep with one eye open and your hands on your balls, Woo!
On that other show about happy Survivors, Jeremy is happy that he has an idol! He tells Fish that they have to spend every minute looking for it. Wants Fish to think he has a black friend in case he is ever running for office.
Ok, back to the real show. Savage is sad about how much their camp sucks. It's a "Survivor Ghetto". No, Andrew it's what Survivor used to be before everyone because sissy-fied and needed to be fed and provided water. You don't see those little monkeys pissing and moaning do you? You'll be back with your pretty wife in less than a month and these poor little monkeys will be eating larva out of each other's fur.
Tree mail (which doesn't really come in a tree anymore), and apparently there is food in the reward challenge.
COME ON IN GUYS AND SEE PG IS MISSING.
This is a hero challenge, meaning one person gets to do the entire challenge and get the credit or the blame. Have they ever done a hero challenge before?? Anyway, run into the water, get a bean bag, run back out, use a board to flip the bag up into the net. Do this 3 times. Winning tribe gets a BBQ dinner with sausages. Second place gets a lesser reward, that kind of looked like a wok and tofu to me. Losing tribe gets nothing.
Terry, Andrew and Jeremy do the challenge. It's apparently hard to walk through the water to the platforms. OOOOH, is that because there are sharks nipping at their heels??? No. Just sand and water. Dammit.
Andrew pulls it out and it's a YUUUUUUUGE win for Ankor. Which is not Ansor like I thought last week. Ta Keo takes second place and Bayon comes in the loser.
The ghetto is having themselves a BBQ tonight! It's food!!! And repeatedly saying to each other "WE ARE SOOOOO NOT GOING TO TRIBAL THIS WEEK"!!!
Ok, time for 30 seconds on Ta Keo. Kass is working her social game this time around, as are most of these assholes. She's cutting the beads off of her bag and Wentworth is watching her, saying how she doesn't trust her because of the whole chaos thing, and how she's making a fake idol. She walks over to see what she's doing and Kass shoo's her away. Awwwww, and then Kass makes a little beaded thing and puts it in her little switch tribe box and gives Wentworth a late birthday gift.
Ok, 30 seconds on Bayon. Wiggles and Spencer are the 2 odd men out, so to speak. Spencer decides to throw Wiggles under the bus, telling Monica that "people on the tribe own her". She points out that they own him too. Monica doesn't believe his and in fact is more in favor of "girl power" than before.
Immunity Challenge. It's the blindfolded, pairs looking for stuff challenge with a caller. In this case they are looking for giant, heavy 3D PUZZLE PIECES. So, you know how this always works. People getting hit, falling down. Varner drops a big puzzle piece on his little toe. And I SWEAR Joe could see through his blindfold because he left his partner and just went all around picking up and carrying giant puzzle pieces. So, everyone gets to the giant square puzzle and.....Ankor is totally clueless and literally leaning on the puzzle napping. IT'S SODIUM PEOPLE! THOSE SAUSAGES ARE JUST CHOCK FULL OF SODIUM. THEY'RE DEADLY!!! Even Jeff points out it's like they're waiting for everyone else to finish so they can go back home. And, they come in last. They are "spent". Savage gives some "I played football and have never been so exhausted in my life" lameness.
So, Ankor will be going back to Tribal. Which is good for me since I have Woo in the pool and would prefer the final alternate, Savage. I'm yelling at the TV, "Woooooooooo. Woooooooooo". Tasha thinks Abi is UNPREDICTABLE. Oh so apparently that's what we're calling FUCKING CRAZY these days. Tasha wants Varner to go because he is too much of an influence over Abi.
Jeff knows it's him or Woo. He points out repeatedly that he hasn't ever voted for Abi. Abi tells Woo that Tasha and Savage make her feel comfortable. He points out that they are using her and she's just a bitch with a grudge since Woo WROTE HER NAME DOWN 2 TIMES.
Tasha tries to talk to Abi about getting Jeff out and keeping Woo, for challenges. Especially since Varner is limping around with a broken little toe. Abi is only interested in the fact that Woo WROTE HER NAME DOWN 2 TIMES. It's really all about her and Woo not being "loyal" to her. Jeff tries to work on her by telling her he misses his Abi time.
Tribal
Varner comes walking in with a little cane. He's bitching away and I SWEAR one of the producers throws a giant bug at him, hitting him in the temple. It's pretty hilarious.
Woo points out that with Varner injured, he's a stronger choice.
Abi says she still hasn't decided who to vote for but points out that Varner is LOYAL to her.
Savage thinks Woo is a stud at challenges which could get them to the merge but then he's flip and be dangerous to Savage and Tasha's old tribe.
Woo says "we are not merging yet!!!"
Andrew says "who knows??"
Varner points out again WOO VOTED FOR ABI TWICE. He says he's loyal to Savage and Tasha and promises he will never write Abi's name down.
Abi thinks that's a good pitch. Basically she wants Woo to kiss her ass.
Tasha points out they need strength to win, so it's loyalty and physical
Woo says he's willing to kiss any dirty ass put in front of him. He points out that Varner still has links to the old tribe, bringing up the whispering incident.
Varner says "one of us has PROVEN loyalty". He also says, CAN WE FRIGGIN VOTE ALREADY???
They vote. Woo goes first and the little bitch has to say "make sure you don't vote Abi".
It's one vote for Woo and 3 for Varner. Who hugs Abi and calls her "you little bitch".
Probst, who is contractually obligated to have the last word mumbles some shit about sometimes tribal makes you stronger.
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