X vs Millennials, Week 1

Shit!  First week  back on the job and I almost forgot it was Wednesday!  Here's the better late than never update on Week 1.  

We're back in Fiji again, mostly because Jeff has a time share there.  It's really kinda nice with that fake fishing netting on the walls and those rope tied balls laying around.  The shag carpet is kind of skeevy but he says he can't replace it until he gets his season 37 money.  

And, this year the SOCIAL EXPERIMENT is about "a war between the ages".  Jesus Christ, as if my FB pages aren't already full of WAR right now.  It's the Millennials which are ages 18-31, and Gen X, ages 33-52.  I'm gonna skip all the bullshit right now and come out for Gen X since I just can't deal with playing online video games being a job.  I'm guessing the Gen Xrs had to fill out requests for time off in triplicate, agree that their positions won't necessarily  be held for them and promised their wives that when they return they will make dinner once a month.  The Millennials had to move their plant and their cat out of the basement into the rest of their parent's house.  

So we have a high school kid (Will) as the youngest and I actually think he should get a second trophy for going to school EVERY DAY.  Unless he goes to cyber school, then he can only have the trophy everyone else has gotten.  Paul is Gandolf at the great age of 52.  He in fact points out that he did NOT always get a trophy.  

First up, they get assigned to their tribes and realize it's a social experiment, not in fact a freaking reality show like they were promised.  Then there's a scavenger hunt for items to take to their camp.  I'm hearing there is all kinds of stuff in the trees to pick from but it looks like all fruit to me.  Oh and sticks of wood which people are grabbing left and right and which can actually be found at the camp site.  2 big choices:  Cooking stuff or a hammer, fishing stuff or chickens.  The  Mills take the chickens and you just KNOW there are about 8 total vegetarians on that tribe that are thinking, "oh good, pets!!"  One of the X picks up an envelope that we ultimately find out is a legacy advantage that can be used on day 36, and can be willed to another player if you're voted off.  

Spoiler: it's Cyclone season.  

The millennials are HAPPY!!!  Probably because they don't have to go to their non jobs for a month!  Awesome!  Solid!! Narly!!!  I started writing down their occupations but it just gave me a headache.  Look, I know someone has to be a homeless shelter manager, I'm just not sure if that's a step up or down from a barista.  

There's romance over on M.  Figgy is a little flirt and a manipulator.  She has 2 guys sniffing around her, I believe Dan and Taylor. Truth is I can't keep these Mills straight.  They call themselves TRIFORCE.  There's also a jewish girl, Hannah who needs to up her social skills so she tries to converse with Michelle who is a missionary who sells bibles.  

X: Rachel is overeager and annoying.  Sunday isn't a fan.  David is what I would be on Survivor-totally afraid of everything and wondering how the hell he got chosen for this show?  He's trying to bond with Chris and Brett (Mr Boston) who are trying to build shelter.  He gets all excited thinking Ken and Paul have found an idol.  Chris is like, he's trying way too hard and is totally paranoid.  David runs off to scope Ken and Paul out.  

The weather is getting really bad.  The Mills almost stop frolicking in the ocean to build a shelter.  Instead they spend a night of hell getting rained on.  It's the same on X beach.  Next morning both tribes get tree mail with a complimentary tarp because the weather is getting worse.  They all start to think this is really bad and decide to bust ass on the shelter.  

Jeff arrives, which is bad, and tells each tribe it's a CYCLONE warning and everyone is getting evacuated.  So now that shitty shag carpet in his time share is gonna be even moldier.  

Upon their return, Zeke, the old man in spirit and in actual occupation on the Millennials surprises himself and becomes a leader for the first time in his life.  They not only bust out shelter but he builds fire!!!  And then his testicles drop.  It's quite a day.  

David admits his complete fear of death.  He then very visibly goes looking for an idol.  People see him and get upset.  

Triforce is all I LOVE YOU GUYS.  Hannah has decided that the tribe is breaking down along the cool kids and the geeks and she gets Mari to help her pull together the geeks.  

Challenge:  and thank you for returning the loaned tarps.  It's an obstacle course with options to take shortcuts along the way.  Each shortcut adds 10  puzzle pieces onto the final puzzle.  The Xrs basically take most of the shortcuts and end up faster through the course with 70 puzzle pieces.  M's have 60 pieces.  Rachel and David start on the X puzzle but get nowhere and tag out.  Ultimate Michelle and Figgy win immunity for the kids.  

It's evident to everyone but Rachel that she totally screwed up.  Jessica is pretty ready to vote her out.  Dave realized no one trusts him since no one is talking to him.  He talks to Jessica and offers to vote out whoever she wants.  She asks if he has an idol and is disappointed that he does not.  Boston Brett is the ringleader and wants to split the vote.  Rachel starts thinking it's strange no one is talking to her and Cici and suddenly wonders if she is vulnerable.   

Tribal: get fire because fire equals your life in this game.

Jessica has pink eye from sand blowing into it. No medic needed apparently.

Jeff asks David a question and he  almost faints.  Seriously, is he someone on the productions nephew??  How could he have passed all of the interviews??  He tells Jeff he is scared and that his world is very small at home.  It's probably also very beige.  He kinda says he wants to stay but his enemy is himself.  

CeCe feels his pain.

Sunday says it's good to hear someone else is nervous.  

Jeff asks if anyone else has considered they could be going home and all hands go up.  

He asks Rachel why she should feel endangered and she was all, hmmmm not quite sure but people did get quite after that puzzle thing.  Perhaps it's been because I'm to upfront?

Time to vote, no idol.  

Dave gets 1 vote. Sunday 1 and  CeCe gets 3 votes for no reason I can see and Rachel is the first one off Survivor Generational War.