I am sure you will all forgive me for forgoing my update last week. I was lounging with my head in the oven and couldn't manage a funny update.
So what we missed were Zeke and David bonding, which was all over the previews anyway, and Jay deciding he needed to do a BIG MOVE and take out Michaela before the merge because "she's a closer". It's actually worth watching Michaela's reaction to being blindsided. Hannah was totally left in the dark and is unhappy.
She's still unhappy this week. Knows she's on the bottom and that Jay the cool BMOC thinks she's an idiot. Never underestimate what a nerd feeling like an idiot can do for revenge.
It's merge day! Woop Woop! I am particularly happy because I can't stand trying to remember these tribe names and who is on what tribe. So y'all have 5 minutes to gather your stuff and then go to Vanua and inhabit their beach as one tribe WITH FOOD AND WINE.
Everyone is assuming they have their original alliance and the new people they met at summer camp. Not everyone will be right in this assumption. Bret is already seeing his new best friends hanging out once again at the cool kids table. Bret and Chris realize they need their originals back.
The nerds aka Hannah, Adam and Zeke are back together and sharing "intel". Because that's what the smart people do. They realize that Jay is the power core and is "very enchanting". Zeke is particularly disgusted with the bro-lliance going on.
Adam is smart enough as well to realize that there is usually a merge idol. He goes out looking, and because they are hidden by freaking MORONS, finds one over tree mail. It's not an idol but a NEW ADVANTAGE that allows the holder to steal an award already won right out of the winners hands. Call me crazy but I believe this should be called the suicide advantage because it is going to lead to a world of bad feelings.
Later that night, Taylor decides to raid the food basket and fills a giant mason jar (because he's good with jars) with dried bananas and other treats. Bret wakes up because he's making so much noise, sees him doing it and rolls over. Adam also sees him do it and scamper off to munch. He joins Taylor and absurdly thinks this is some great bond they now have because he assumes Taylor would be too worried about people knowing he stole food and cower. Adam doesn't understand how these assholes work where nothing embarrasses them or makes them feel in any way other than superior. Adam goes on to point out to Taylor that Will is now Jay's right hand man and Taylor has been usurped. I've always wanted to write a nice long paragraph like this and include the word usurp and now I'm wondering how many of you are actually still reading.
Taylor is all, munching and probably thinking of Figgy's sexy stank breath, says, "what about Will?" Adam I believe thinks bringing this info to Taylor will absolve him from voting out his woman. Taylor isn't in any way buying it but Adam is so stupid he thinks he needs to add a special touch of stupid by confiding that he has this special advantage to prove his seriousness. Basically Taylor's response is to burp dried banana and decide to vote off Adam.
The next morning people notice food is missing. Bret just flat out says it was Taylor. People are mildly annoyed at Taylor but, hey, he's a pretty boy! Everyone seems to be all on board to get rid of Taylor but as David says, "it's waaaaaay too early for that shit to stick".
Taylor heads over to Jay and tells him that Adam wants Will out. Jay is all WTF is with your people? Taylor says, yea, he tells me he is now your right hand man. Jay UNSURPRISINGLY says, how about we vote off Adam??
Fortunately, Zeke overhears. He realizes Adam is a dumb fuck and worries if he is going to ruin the nerd alliance.
Individual Immunity Challenge!! It's supposedly a tougher take on a trademarked SURVIVOR CLASSIC. Balance on a perch with your hands shackled overhead to a bucket. Move and the bucket dumps water all over you and the bed at the Pottstown Motel 6.
7 people are out after 20 minutes (Sunday, Chris, Bret, Jay, Zeke, Ken and Hannah who admitted to pain everywhere). Within the next 40 minutes Michelle, Taylor, David and Adam drop leaving Jessica and Will who go at it for an hour and a half until Jessica drops leaving high school student Will as the winner of individual immunity.
And now it's scramble time. Taylor announces to the other Millennials that it's Adam. Michelle thinks that's ridiculous and it's a personal rather than strategic move.
Zeke tells Adam that Taylor told Jay basically everything he said, and Adam is like "so that's why Will worked so hard!" He also pointed out that he was "playing to hard". Zeke wonders if there is any chance to blindside Taylor. He talks to the Xers who ponder whether it should be Jay/Taylor or Michelle and endlessly ponder who among them might have an idol. Zeke worries he may need plan B since they can't make up their minds.
Adam talks to his new buddy Taylor and says that Jay won't even look him in the eye. Taylor basically says it's too late, man. It's 100% gonna be a revenge vote for Figgy because he "has his big boys back".
Hannah pulls Adam aside and tells his to JUST STOP MAKING THINGS WORSE. She says his problem has always been that he wanted to sit at the cool kids table.
Adam debates whether or not to use his idol, because he's mainly afraid of using it when he doesn't have to and looking like a chump.
Tribal
Jeff asks David what the differences are between the Ms and the X's. David says the Ms eat more.
Taylor is all YUP I DID EAT THE FOOD. He's all laughing and arrogant about it. Says he was hungry and it was a medical emergency
Chris points out that is's selfishness not game play
Taylor still doesn't get it and is all "Rock on dude, you people gotta CHILL.
Adam moves on to the idea of loyalties shifting after summer camp. They are not just M or X but other loyalties have been built up
David says it's not about people I trust vs people you trust
Jay's all "loyalty, YUP"
Jeff points out that everyone so far has said that right before their torch is snuffed.
Will agrees that there is an objective with this vote but not everyone has the same objective.
I really think someone is feeding them these platitudes.
Jay: LINES WILL BE DRAWN TONIGHT
Michelle: TRUST WILL BE BROKEN AND REBUILT
Taylor: DUUUUUDE, WORRYING DOESN'T MATTER and he looks at Adam who says, it's terrifying.
Time to vote and decide if you want to use your idol! Nope? Let's tally the votes, shall we?
Adam 4
Michelle 7
And if was FREAKING WORTH WATCHING just to see Jay's pretty boy stunned face.
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