Lol, Christ I missed a week or two, they throw in a 2 hour double elimination show and now I'm so freaking far behind I can't sleep at night!  Let's see if we can do a summary of the last 3 shows and all get caught up!

One interesting thing with this season is, with the exception of Yummy Ken, all of the beautiful, strong and cool people have been voted off leaving us with a bunch of nerdy kids and adults that you would find working as a night Manager at your local Walmart.  I believe last time I did an update Taylor followed his squeeze out the door for being an arrogant asshole about stealing and eating food.  

So in the following episode, Chris sees Jess as his main target and wants to "hit her before she hits me".  He's kind of an angry asshole.  Hannah, along with most of us, has the hots for Ken.  Little Will is starting to feel like he's not being treated like an adult.  He's mad that Zeke didn't tell him about the Taylor vote.  Zeke is a little manipulator.  Will tries to suck up to him by telling him that Jay has an idol, but DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!.  That piece of news spreads so fast I'm surprised the last whisper down the lane doesn't have Jay with 3 idols and a gun.  

The challenge is some swimming thing.  I don't remember and my notes say, "swimming thing".  Pathetic David goes all "oh I'll step out of the challenge because I don't want anyone losing pizza and beer on my account".   Everyone OF COURSE tells him to stay in, be a man, they want him to compete, blah blah blah.  David has another cry and says "I'll never forget you guys".  Jay ends up not competing.  Ok, so some of you are probably saying, WHAT ABOUT JAY, HE'S HOT!  Meh.  Not in my book where manly men are hot.  

So the challenge is some swim to a raft, pull yourself up, get a key, unlock a puzzle.  This one is a color block one and not some decipher the latest bullshit piece of pop psychology Jeff is spouting this week.  Zeke, Adam, Hannah, Sunday and Brett win and get to eat right off of the Survivor beach.  They also get letters from home and Adam, who is really a BAD crier is all crying because, say it with me people, his mom has cancer.  God, I prefer the old days when people had to lie about their dead grandmother and we could leave the human suffering and tragedies out of reality tv.  

Back on the beach Yummy Ken and David are sitting around.  Seriously, couldn't David have been allowed to bring his meds as his "personal item"?  Remember when they made a big deal about their ONE personal item?  I swear they get to bring whatever they want this time around.  Anywhoo. Ken tries to make nice to David telling him "Dude, what you're doing everyone respects".  David talks about his fear of life and fear of death.  WHATEVER.  He tells Ken he's all about a final 3 with him.  He expresses his concern with Chris/Brett and  Sunday and wants to vote for Chris.  Ken doesn't trust Zeke.  

Immunity Challenge:  They have to balance on a perch and hold a little statue with a stick of wood.  DAVID WINS IMMUNITY.  So more psychobabble.  "I need to tamp down that voice that says I can't and listen to the one that says I can".  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......

Back at camp and no one is talking to Jay.  Chris wants it to be Jess but he wants to make Jay play his idol.  Zeke believes he has masterminded the Gen X civil war and he has the power to pit them against each other.  David tells Jess she's on the block.  Jess, Adam, Ken and David want Chris to go.  Hannah and Zeke and their ilk think they are blindsiding Jay.  Zeke "the is next vote is amassing the soldiers I need to march my army down the field".  

Tribal

Lots of bullshit on this one.  David talks about voting blocs coming together to eliminate a single threat or splinter into multiple targets.  Zeke doesn't believe in no stinking voting blocs.  Hannah calls them "trust clusters" and Jeff wets himself over the catchy term.  Hannah also wets herself that Jeff thinks something she said is cool.  He is soooo gonna sleep with her once she gets voted off and is in her Ponderosa hut.  Brett mumbles something in Bostoneese about getting rid of people you don't trust but Chris says it shouldn't be about trust tonight.  

Adam: There is a cold war brewing and WINTER IS COMING....And Chris is blindsided, thereby once again I lose a Survivor Pool.  

BUT WAIT THERE'S ANOTHER EPISODE!!  Remember when the night before Thanksgiving was all about a rehash?  Now they assume people who watch Survivor are too old to do that "meet everyone you went to high school with at your childhood home local bar to drink and hook up" pre turkey day thing.  

Clearly I was pre-holiday drinking at this point because my notes are getting worse.  Ok, so Jess says that sending Chris home solidifies everything.  Zeke apologizes to Brett for leaving him out f the loop but Brett says he thinks it was good because Chris  would have won.  Zeke says that Brett wants to work together which is good because he wants everyone to come together to defeat David.  Zeke is kind of getting obsessed with David going. 

Next morning David watches the sun rise with Brett and Sunday.  They discuss voting Jay out but David points out that Zeke is currently pulling the strings and should go but newly aligned Brett doesn't like that.  Brett tells Zeke and they discuss getting rid of him but that David has an idol.  

Zeke talks to Adam and Hannah about getting rid of David.  Hannah thinks that Will and Jay are bigger threats than David.  Hannah finds herself in the middle.  

Challenge: slither through sand with hands and feet tied together, then do a snake puzzle.  3 teams of 3.  David, Zeke, Brett and Sunday win a picnic and a helicopter ride.  At reward, both Brett and Zeke buddy up and decide to use each other.  Sunday joins them and they discuss taking out David.  

Returning to camp Hannah tells David that she's in the middle with him and Zeke but she's playing with him.  She tells him they all know about his idol.  He starts to hyperventilate but she tells him to suck it up.  

Immunity Challenge:  they are behind a locked door and have to maneuver the key blindly through a maze to unlock themselves.  It's basically a Jay blowout.  

Back at camp it's a scramble and appears to be a 5-5 tie.  Zeke decide to vote for Hannah in case David plays his idol.  

Tribal

It kind of breaks down pretty fast with Hannah talking to Adam, and Zeke and Brett asking David if he's going to have an anxiety attack or cry tonight.  Everyone is freaking out and suggesting alternate votes during tribal.  

Time to vote

Jeff asks about an idol and David plays his.  Before he says it's for Hannah, Adam says "wait, they are going to Ken", so David plays it for Ken who gets 0 votes.  It's a Hannah-Zeke tie.  They go for the tie breaker which comes out again tied.  They are given the option to unanimously chose between Zeke or Hannah or draw rocks.  They draw rocks and Jess is shocked to be the next person sent to Ponderosa.  She passes her legacy idol to Ken.  

And now I need to take a break!  Last week's update will be out this afternoon.