Survivor China Week 5

Aaaahhhh, sooooooo. Where are we this week?

I gotta jump right in and say the Zhan Hu tribe has to win the award for the stupidest in survivor history. Did they REALLY think they could pick up 2 strong members from the other team without having to give up 2 people?? Did none of them even THINK it was possible??

Nice little interlude with Jaime and Erik, especially touching to hear Erik has been saving himself all these years to give up his virginity on a national TV reality show. At least, I HOPE that's what's gonna happen. Nothing like hearing a guy like Erik's a virgin to get you to spill your guts on the immunity idol. Shit, I'd have given him my MAC pin code!

And, talk about WIERD moments, did I not hear James say he thought Denise, of all people, was attractive?? What is in the rice out there??? Where in the world would a mullet headed, flash-dance ripped shirt wearing lunch lady be considered attractive??? HOLY CRAP. Me thinks he's been digging graves too long.

And, what's FROSTI's story? I gotta go look it up, I can't even figure out his nationality (Japanese and Russian). The fact that Fei Long thinks he and Sherea are the strongest members of Zhan Hu tells the whole story! Here's a direct Frosti quote ""Zhan Hu and Fei Long just flipped! We’re now 7-5 instead of 5-7, and we have a huge advantage!" Idiots.

Back on Fei Long, James and Aaron are chosen, instead of the expected James and Jean-Robert, which puts JR in a total snit. Frankly, if I had to give up James and Aaron in exchange for Frosti and Sherea, I think I would throw myself in the fire pit.

No reward challenge this week, just the switch and a basket of food and drink for all. The next morning Fei Long wakes up and starts to bag on JR for working, and Sherea thinks she's died and gone to lazy heaven. Frosti, that crafty snowman, thinks JR might be the next target.

Prior to the immunity challenge, Jaime and PG dream up the idea of throwing the challenge to get rid of one of the two strongest members. Yea, you wouldn't want to actually KEEP someone who could win a challenge would ya?

Immunity challenge involving SWIMMING OUT TO A DOCK AND SWIMMING BACK. What a novel idea! Oh, did anybody else notice they had on swimsuits???? Either I was up refilling my wine glass or they didn't even comment on giving them back their suits.

This time, they have to dive down and un-spear 12 signs of the zodiac. Oh, did the chinese invent the zodiac too? The cultural lessons never end do they. Frosti and JR vs Erik and Aaron basically get the disks at about the same time, and haul them back to shore where James, PG and Jaime are waiting. Actually, PG and Jaime are playing cards and doin' each other's hair. Not to be OBVIOUS or anything! These 2 are laughing and screwing up the challenge so obviously even Jeff has to comment on it. I mean, c'mon, an Asian unable to do a puzzle? Who was she kidding.

Back at camp, they continue to act like idiots, laughing and basically giving it away. Erik confronts Jaime who tells him what they did. You know he wants to be mad and vote with the men but, damn she's a hot christian. HEY, notice Jaime didn't say, "me too" when the whole virginity thing came up!

Tribal council. Ok, whatever else happens here I just gotta say, Asians chicks SHOULD NOT try to wear buffs on their heads. It should just be a rule. James hears the girls threw the challenge and says, "send me home". YES, SEND JAMES HOME, NOT AARON!!!!!! PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE. Aaron is voted out. I'm guessing we're gonna see some real chinese fireworks when this tribe gets back.