Survivor Update 12

Wow, I can't remember a worse final 4 since it all came down to the porn star and the southern cracker. Ya got your mullet girl (who has lost a TON of weight), your blonde anorexic weakling, your paranoid schemer and, of course, Amanda.

This week, not a lot of tribe footage. I think the cameramen are tired of fuzzying out whatever it is that hangs down from Amanda's butt cheeks. Personally, I think it's Todd's balls that she found just laying around and pinned on.

Day 33, reward challenge. The Great Wall of China challenge, brought to you by Remington, makers of the 4th Century Repeating Crossbow (we can check "greatest Chinese weaponry" off the government required cultural highlights). So, they did that "who's your favorite" thing of having people put their arrows into other people's buckets. PG gets one, Denise gets a couple, Todd about 3 and Courtney gets 12. Not sure what this means, but they then get to shoot a big board with names on it and that determines who wins. Todd, the big athlete he is, thinks he's the king of the repeater since he gets 2 hits on his name. His 3rd wilts and falls short. Courtney gets up and acts all stupid and basically shoots at Denise and Todd's names. Denise wins reward. Wanna know what you're playing for? A trip to the great wall of china, complete with dinner. Yawn. Funny thing is, I just watched the end of America's Top Model the day before, at the great wall, and my husband was all, didn't they do this last night? haha. Skinny models and 33 day stinky survivors in ripped clothes apparently look a lot a like to him.

I'm wondering if they are gonna skip the "who wins a car" reward challenge since China isn't known for making cars. Maybe "wanna know what you're playing for" will be a rickshaw.

So, Denise gets to pick 2 people to accompany her. She picks Courtney and dumb-ass Todd, after loudly saying she doesn't want PG to get any stronger. PG is totally pissed (and I don't blame her). She and Amanda are left to bond at camp, picking bugs out of each other's hair and other girly stuff. Oh, and they eat a fabulous meal of fish, rice, and sake. More about that later.

Todd, Court and Denise take Survivor Airlines, which apparently has no problem with serving peanuts on board, damn it, to the great wall. Once there, they get to look at the great wall and say dumb shit like, "wow, what a great example of Chinese mastery of architecture". You could almost see the government official holding the cue cards.

Blatantly ignoring the "No Food on the Wall" sign, they sit down to eat. And, of course, they are such a bunch of losers they can't figure out how to cook and eat the food in the hot liquid. Todd call it Chinese Fondue, further insinuating he's gay. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. So, they eat, and return to camp and basically bitch about the food, much to PG and Amanda's disgust. Oh, and Denise mentions that they brought back food for them but Todd ate it on the plane. To make matters worse, at one point Todd complains that PG and Amanda must have ate a lot of "their" food while they were away. Does he not know this game ends with a jury picking the winner??

Immunity Challenge: This is the lame one where they have to revisit past challenges. First is the star throwing one, next they have to eat the chicken embryo, third is the hackey sack on a drum challenge and finally, the cut the disks free and solve the puzzle challenge. First challenge, Todd loses and is out of the running. Second, Denise again can't swallow the chick embryo (probably reminds her too much of what they serve on Wednesdays back at school) and she's out. Courtney is out on the drum beating. It comes down to Amanda and PG in the finals, and it is really close but Amanda wins immunity!!

Back at camp they spend some time teasing me that Todd will be voted off, but in utter predictability PG is the 12th survivor kicked off.