Survivor Update: Asians Don't Scramble

Yo yo yoooohooooo. How y'all doing on the Thanksgiving eve? House clean? Turkey thawed? Mine neither. But, shit, let's play a little Survivor Update instead of working.


This is the fun part of Survivor, when the obvious people are gone, and people have to start voting for their BFF's. You know, the ones they met 20-some days ago? Episode starts out with Brenda and Sash gloating about their POWA. Brenda says they are the king and queen of Survivor, although Sash is more like the queen. Metaphorical bolt of lightening whenever you see an episode start this way.

This is also the time in the game when people totally under the radar actually speak. In this week's excitement, Purple Kelly speaks!!! And, yes, I was kinda surprised she didn't sing, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family".

Benry, Fabio and Dan are on the outs. I for one am shocked that Dan is still alive. Holly (WHAT THE F&*CK IS WITH HER SHIRT AND THE APPEARING/DISAPPEARING RIGHT SLEEVE?????????????) and Jane aren't happy with the power couple.

Drama:
Holly asks Benry how he can trust them
Jane tells NaO that Brenda is a Villain
Holly talks to Chase. He wants Benry.

AAAAGGGGHHHH.

Challenge. Jeff is in friggin GREEN?? WTF?? Didn't his blue wardrobe come back from the Nicaraguan cleaners?? Shoulda gone with the Koreans, Jeff. Just a tip.

Teams have to travel across the beach using barrels, ropes and planks. I'm only surprised they didn't have to go all in and dress like rodeo clowns. Wanna know what you're playing for? A trip to a volcano and a pizza/brownies fix. Ya know, call me crazy but why all the junk food?? Aren't they all afraid they're gonna get fat?

Blue team (Chase, Jane, Kelly, Fabio and NaO) easily win. Per Jeff to the Yellow team, lead by Sash: "If this were for life or death, you'd be dead".
They helicopter over to the volcano, put on orange prison garb and sled down the side of the volcano. Um, HOW DO YOU GET BACK UP??

Back at camp, disaster has struck. In an effort to keep the fire burning in the rain, the build it super high and surrounded it with wooden trunks full of their food and stuff. LOL. Reminds me of this girl who worked with me who had the worst luck. Her barn caught on fire and both she and her husband drove over to the barn, parked too close and watched their cars burn up too. I always wondered how that call to the insurance company went. Anywhoo. Big fire (actually set by the crew maybe??), even the tarp melted. Benry is losing it.

Back on the volcano, NaO makes her "power play" and pulls Fabio aside. "Who do you think is running the show??" They chat about getting rid of Brenda. Why these two get together is beyond me.

Chase and Brenda chat about Holly's plan to get rid of Brenda/Sash. Chase is a total pussy who cannot keep his mouth shut.
Chase tells NaO he wants Benry instead. NaO tells Benry you can't trust Chase. NaO tells Jane Chase is against getting rid of Brenda/Chase. Now Jane's not sure of Chase...thinks he wants in Brenda's pants. I'm not even going to go there that this old cougar might be jealous of that. NaO tells Holly, do not trust Chase.

Seriously, NaO is either 2 people or she is just playing crazy-ass.

Immunity Challenge: Light Blue. Stand on a platform over water, holding on to a knotted rope, and lean farther back every 5 minutes.

First out: Sash, Kelly, Holly...Brenda...Dan...Fabio...NaO... and Benry. It's down to Jane and Chase. Jane wants to quit but Coach Jeff (who I think spent a little bit of time with Jimmy J) talks her into holding on, and Chase falls. Jane wins immunity. She is one god dayam tough broad.

Back at camp: Chase and Sash want Benry. NaO talks to Sash, says Chase is on her last nerve. Wanna do a power play?

Chase is talking to Fabio, Holly comes up and says, "it's Brenda". Chase runs to Brenda clutching his little balls "They're saying it's you. NaO set it up". Brenda to Chase: "Do you think they are gonna be more loyal to you than we are??" Sash wonders if he should give the idol to Brenda to save her. Although he shoulda done his wondering holding his pinky between his front two teeth while holding a cat.

Tribal: Medium Blue. I was busy anyway.
Sash: I was surprised about Marty. Been a lot of reshuffling
Brenda: I regretted Marty but I had to prove I could be trusted. There's a break because NaO wants to jump ship
hahahah, when will these people learn not to talk smack about NaO at Tribal??
NaO: not me, Chase is running paranoid
Kelly SPEAKS!! I'm pretty out of the loop Jeff but I just learned a whole lot
Brenda: Why would Sash break the alliance? Or Chase tell me? It was NaO
Jeff: Brenda, are you scrambling this week?
Brenda: humumumumum, not scrambling, Asians do not scramble.
Jeff: Are you too proud to say scrambling?
Brenda: I'm Asian, we don't scramble.
Jeff: Sash, this is disastrous to your alliance.
Time to vote. Anyone have the idol and want to say, GIVE IT TO BRENDA?? Crickets......
Brenda is voted off the island.