Survivor Update: Warm and Dry at the Motel 6

Man OH man, was that not the BEST episode of this season??? I mean, C'mon even you men have to admit that a wet Jeff Probst is the best thing EVER. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I had to go back and take a picture of the TV during tribal. Holy hotness!!!!!!!! And, even my husband is happy since I found that Jeff Probst face mask at Halloween. HOURS OF FUN, let me tell you.


So, the show. And, for the record, I don't do rehash. We all paid attention over the many weeks, we don't need to see it all over again. And, frankly, there was too much rehash this week!! yadda yadda yadda, Brenda is gone. Move on.

9 left..... Kelly had no idea what was gonna happen last time around. Kelly is not really that bright. She's upset that Chase, NaO and Sash turned on her.

Holly is all now, one sleeve on, one sleeve off NOT INTO NAO. hahaha. "I didn't listen to Brenda when she was bad mouthing you last tribal, but I shoulda".

Chase and NaO want to blindside Sash. But, alas, today is gonna be about self imploding.

NaO hates rain and cold. Uhuh. I kinda remember some BITCH phys ed teacher, kinda named Miss Cook, who made us go out in the rain. So, SUCK ON IT. She's apparently anemic. hahaha. Kelly is just a pussy and is all crying about the weather. They're both squawking about quitting. Benry and Fabio (aka the brain trust)-Hey, let 'em both quit!!!
NaO must be serious, she gives the idol to Chase.

Medium Blue Challenge: It's a TOTAL CHEESY ASS MOVIE PROMOTION CHALLENGE. Pushing the new Jack Black movie, Gulliver's Travels. And, can I be frank?? Jeff cannot pronounce Gulliver correctly. ACK, a flaw!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the challenge is to drag a giant 8' Gulliver doll through an obstacle course. Wanna know what you're playing for?? The chance to see the movie, and contractually you need to like it, and eat movie shit.
2 Teams: Yellow is Fabio, Sash, Jane and Holly. Blue is Holly, NaO, Chase and Benry. Dan gets to chose and aligns himself with blue. He also gets to sit in a freakishly large chair.

Blue wins. NaO tells my honey she wants to quit. He's pissed ( and maybe not because he promised Mark Burnett a certain # of episodes). Anyone else? Kelly wants to quit too. Honey is really pissed. Ima gonna have to do that back flip thing he likes to cheer him up.

Jeff: NaO, you don't seem like a quitter...and Kelly, you gonna walk away too?? He ain't happy, gives them this afternoon to think about it. IN THE MEANTIME..... any of you winners (cough cough NaO) want to give up reward for a tarp and more rice for the tribe?? Dead silence. Holly gives it up. Chase tried to tell NaO to do it instead but nope. BITCH.

Back at camp, Holly is the hero. You rock!!! She talks to Kelly, 'you need to suck it up and try harder". Kelly: I'm cold and hungry. Holly: "I got your ass a tarp and rice" Kelly: I got nothing else to suck".

At the Cinema: why eat the damn no protein candy?? Pound the dogs in. Chase is not in the NaO fan club. They all rave about the confy chairs and pretend to like the movie. Benry wants NaO to go now.

Camp: Are Kelly and NaO changing their minds??? The sun is out...
Tribal: OMFG, JEFF IS SO DAMN WET AND HOT. I really do not care what happens as long as I can watch him for the next 15 minutes. Seriously.
Holly: When I wanted to quit Jimmy J helped me.
Jane: these young kids need to hang in there
NaO: Jeff when it rains my joints hurt (FYI Dan's face here was friggin priceless) She also says she's the only African American left. Like, what the fuck does that matter?? You're ass is gonna be the only AA to quit the game.

The jury is PISSED.
Kelly: the weather is making my skinny ASS body break down.
Benry: I don't like quitters
Fabio: is it an age thing?? No, it's a mental, willpower thing, Plus, Jeff, I'm too stupid to be cold.
NaO: Reward was GREAT, I loved today and loved going out with a bang.
Jeff: NaO, did you have a shot at winning? Yes, based upon my drive... my charm...
The Jury is laughing at her.
Jeff: I offered the tarp and rice, why didn't you take it NaO? Are you a selfish motherf*&ker? ( I love when Jeff talks dirty...)
NaO: No, I worked hard and deserved it.
Chase: I'd have given it up had I been quitting.
Jane: Life is hard, these young kids don't have a clue. They are showing no drive. People out in the real world are playing the real survivor game (AMEN SISTER).
Jeff: I'ma gonna ask your dumb asses one more time.

NaO I quit

Kelly I quit.

Jeff: what should I do with your torches? NaO "I guess they get SMUFFED Jeff. hahahahahha.

Jeff smuffs their torches but leaves them at tribal as a reminder. BUT THEY ARE ALLOWED TO JOIN THE JURY, WHICH IS BULLSHIT.