Amazing Race 20 Week 1

First up, I have to say Jeff and Eileen, you are either the most unlucky people on the planet OR your couple were not really Asians. 

In any case, welcome to the Amazing Race!  And the gods must have smiled on Donna this season as Phil starts off wearing bicycle shorts and a tight bicycle top.  Still never seen him hang out of a cool ass helicopter like my man, Donna.  So, who do we have this season?

A pair of clowns (Dave and Cherie).  I totally dislike clowns.
Team toothless, aka  Bopper and Mark.  Best buddies in the trailer park.
Sisters Misa and Maya who at first appeared to be Asians but clearly were not.
The big bromance couple, Brandon and Rachel.
Team we're-from-jersey-what-exit? Joey Fitness and Danny
Cops Nary and Jamie
Returning vet and his wife, Rachel and Dave
Twin musicians Eliot and Andrew
The Kountry Kousins Kary and Stacey (who are sooooo not my old snowboarders I could cry)
Team infidelity Vanessa and Ralf
Border patrol agents Art and JJ

Teams have now changed out of biking gear and into regular clothes, IF you consider a green sequin shirt regular.  Phil is now in a left over 80's members only jacket.  Soooooooo not Jeff.  There is an express pass this season given to the winners of the first leg.

The first clue in hidden inside the basket of a whole shit load of mini hot air balloons.  Once you get the clue, drive your FORD TAURUS (product placement DING). 

Fly to Santa Barbara, Argentina.  6 teams get on the first plane the rest 2 hours delayed.  Right off the bat toothless Mark is blowing chunks out of the car window since he gets so car sick.  "We ain't stoppin' to throw up". 

On the first plane are: twins Eliott and Andrew, bromance Brendon and Rachel, cops Nary & Jamie, border patrol agents Art & JJ, veterans Rachel & Dave, team infidelity Vanessa & Ralph.  Last 2 to find the clues were Bopper and Mark and Asian-lite, Misa and Maiya. 

Once in Santa Barbara teams have to find the Salta Airport.  The clowns are already in last place and are crying.  Which is kinda clownlike.  It's a Roadblock.  Who has a good sense of direction?  That person has to find their team mate AFTER they have jumped out of a plane.  It's all scary and them it's cool.  I think Mark throws up.  The grounded team mate has to drive a couple of miles and them run out into the dessert to find their partner.  Jersey Danny can't drive a stick shift.  His mamma back in Jersey told him he should learn. 
Danny's driving skills led Joey fitness to wait after his jump, while Maiya drove her car into a ditch of sand and had to be pulled out, leaving Misa waiting with J'Fitness.  Wonder if he was putting the Jersey moves on her. 

Once the Roadblock is completed, teams have to drive to Patios de Cafayate and compete in an empenada making contest.  Teams have to make 60 meat and 60 cheese empenadas, each with a different crimping style.  Art and JJ, first at the contest, didn't follow the proper crimping directions and had to go back.  Bromance and Returning Vets paid attention and both got through pretty fast, although the big brother couple had a few to remake, giving Rachel and Dave the opening they needed to take first place and snag the Express Pass. 

While the other teams are crimping their empenadas, Misa and Maiya finally arrive in last place.  They leave their suitcases in the car, which is a mistake but they get all "we make dumplings all the time, we're asian" arrogant.  The race comes down to the Asianettes and Jersey Boys.  Asianettes finish first and have to go back and get their luggage.  They still should have won but apparently they didn't recognize Phil standing by an Argentinian band, and ran back out of the pit stop and started looking all over the place for Phil.  This gave the Boyz enough time to take place #10 and Misa and Maiya were the first to be eeeeeliminated.  

1. Rachel and Dave         Joanne
2. Brendon and Rachel    Ginnie
3. Art and JJ                   Terri
4. Nary and Jamie            Karen and John
5. Vanessa and Ralph      Kevin and Matt
6. Elliot and Andrew         Donna
7. Kerry and Stacie          Elayne
8. Dave and Cherie           Lori
9. Bopper and Mark         Amy the newlywed :)
10. Joey Fitness and Dave   Susan

Out
11, Misa and Maiya            Jeff and Eileen