Survivor: Prelude to Finale Day!

Happy snowy Survivor Finale day!  Are we all ready???  Got your rice and snacks, a little east indies ice cream, couple of tasty grubs?  I'm gonna keep wearing the same pair of lounge pants (they are NOT PAJAMAS, even if I sleep in them) that I've been wearing for 39 days just to keep in the spirit of it all.

Sooooooo what's it gonna be?  Will Tina or Laura get off Redemption Island??  Will Tyson pull the idol out of his crotch?  Hmmmmm, bet Jeff will love taking that from him.  Will Gervase realize he's really not in control??

 But first, let's discuss last week.  Katie arrives at RI and it's all momma and daughter time.  (Note-not sure if you all saw the news but sadly Tina's son was killed in a car accident I think last week.) Tina says she wouldn't be opposed to letting Katie win.  Katie says, "let's both try hard".  In reality, Tina probably had a better shot at winning that million dollars. 

Back at camp, it's all  BIG FAKE HUGS and WOW, WHAT A GREAT TRIBAL.  Tyson is a little pissed at Gervase.  You never tell the person on the bottom that they're on the bottom.  Monica says she's gonna pull Ciera back in to the alliance. 

Monica is spinning her little head over what to do next.  What if Ciera has the idol?  Should we split the vote???  She's too intense.  Tyson has to tell her to shut up because he has the idol.  She keeps at it.  I can't believe she has lasted this long, except for the fact that she never wears anything other than that bikini bottom.  She's mad that he had the idol and didn't tell anyone.  Tyson and Gervase: Monica isn't great at Survivor but she comes in handy. 

Ciera is all happy with her big move.  She and Hayden plan to find the idol, win the challenge and drive a wedge between Monica and the other 2. 

RI Duel.  It's Tina, Katie and Laura.  Dr. Jeff has to explore Tina's feelings about competing against Katie. Are you capable of giving 100% against your daughter??  LOL Jeff, she'd push her off the island for a chance at another win. 

It's the old make a pole and steal the jail keys challenge.  Tina starts out barking orders at Katie on how to make the pole.  Seriously she would drive me nuts if she were my mom.  Laura, the challenge queen, makes quick work of it and gets out of jail first.  It's down to Katie and Tina, Tina sucks pretty bad but Katie drops one of her keys and can't get it up.  Jeff IS SO GOD DAMNED ANNOYING WITH THE INCESSANT MOTHER-DAUGHTER COMMENTS.  Before she kicks her daughter's ass, Tina asks Katie if she's OK with losing. 

Tina wins and Katie is out.  Tina goes on some bullshit about being adopted and having Katie was the first time she ever had a connection to someone in her life.  How quaint.  Laura gives the clue to Ciera.  Ciera looks like she's hyped out on something. 

Back at camp, Ciera shares the clue with Hayden and they go looking for the idol.  At one point Monica sees them but she just walks away.  WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CLUE that she knows who has the idol. 

Gervase talks with Monica about who she trusts in the game.  Obviously it's Gervase and Tyson.  "You guys chose me and that means a lot".  Meanwhile, Ceira is plotting working on her. 

Challenge:  It's one of the few times this season with swimming.  Swim to a stand, unwrap a buoy, swim back, untie PUZZLE PIECES and decode an expression Jeff has endlessly repeated all season.  Wanna know? Immunity and room service.  God even the rewards suck this season.  And did I miss the auction??

Ciera sucks at swimming, even worse than Gervase.  These 2 better be glad they weren't on the season where every challenge was a swim out, swim back thing.  She's the last to get her bag o' letters.  AND YET....Ciera wins reward with the catchy phrase "YOU WILL HAVE TO DIG DEEP" or something like that.  Obviously no one else listens to Jeff either.  She obviously chooses Hayden for the food reward.  I think he orders pizza and she orders a hamburger.  It's not even a big deal because THEY ARE ALL SO WELL FED. 

Tyson and the crew are all "meh, it's better that they eat".  Ciera is all in on trying to turn Monica.  She gets her aside and starts telling her about all the MAD CRAP Tyson has been saying about Monica.  You're weak, paranoid, like a puppy on a leash.  Monica-if that were the case why would he draw rocks to save me?  Duh, he took a change because without you he wouldn't have the numbers.  Monica cries.  It hurt me.  I'm now playing my game.  Whatev.

Tribal

Ciera-is there still a division?  Duh Jeff, of course there is. 
Hayden-we're on the bottom but we can still control some of the events. He starts on the Monica is being used thing.
Gervase-this is what people at the bottom always try to do. 
Monica-Ciera told me stuff that Tyson and Gervase were saying about me.  It could be true...
Tyson-meh, Ciera has been saying stuff about Monica the whole time. 
Ciera-Monica should know what has been said about her now instead of sitting with her family at home as a loser hearing it.
Gervase-if you were so concerned, why didn't anyone tell her while it was happening??
Hayden again says Tyson is controlling the game which gets Gervase all upset. 
Ciera-remember, evil, rude things were said about you. 
Monica-I'm gonna dig deep.  I feel good. I like these people, since I've lost weight my implants look even bigger.  A new side of me....blah blah....morality and ethical issues will bite you in the ass at the end.....
Jeff-are Hayden and Ciera showing you a better path to the end?  (In other words, please give me something to make this game not seem like a slam dunk for Tyson). 
Hayden-She's a strong independent woman
Ciera-Your family will be cheering if you make a big move....

Vote.  And as expected Hayden goes to RI.  Wonder if he can beat the women in the final duel.....

Gervace     Meagan     Nancy

Monica      Liz             Tess

Tyson        Chris         John S

Ciera         Leslie         Becky

Redemption Isle

Hayden     Donna/John Kelly
Laura M     Lori             Amy
Tina         Jill                Susan

OUT
Rupert Donna Mary Which means you now have Colton. 

Colton     Alt 1Donna      Alt 1Mary  Which means you now have KAT
Rachel         Cathy V    Kim  Which means you now have John.
Marissa Rachel Joanne
Candice Ron Kevin/Matt
Brad         Elayne         Carolyn
Kat         Alt 2 Donna       Alt 2 Mary
John      Cathy  V and Kim. 
Laura B     Stacy         Jeff/Eileen

Aras         AnnMarie     Stephanie

Vytas         Betty         GailCaleb         Karen         Cindy
Katie         Denise         Ginnie

Survivor Crazy Time

Wow, so since I just realized it's 2 weeks until xmas, I'm thinking the finale must be coming up!  Is it Sunday???  We're getting down but there's still a bunch of people left.  Must  be going to bring someone back from Re-education Island tonight.  That'll throw the whole thing off!

Ok, so first up, isn't this the time when they're all bitching about being hungry??  I have never seen them crying about a lack of rice or food once on this show.  And, frankly, no one is looking really skinny.  Second, if it really is 115 degrees, why are there never any sweaty pits showing???  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueler?

So, Caleb went to RI last week.  Hayden is all "YO, I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE LOSING TO TYSON".  Y'all are all fighting for second place.  Gervase takes issue with that and claims he's really running the show.  LOL.  I doubt even Gervase' mother believes that. 

Duel time.  Tina, Laura and Caleb all come in.  Caleb won't even look at the remaining players.  " A man's word apparently doesn't mean much in Philly or Utah".  Gervase calls him a sore loser. 

So the RI challenge it the "Jan, watch your bracelet" house of cards challenge.  First to get to 8 foot or highest at the 30 minute mark.  Seriously, Laura kicks ASS on this.  She gets to 8 foot without barely losing any cards.  Jeff is his usually utterly fucking annoying self repeating "You never give up...things could change in a heartbeat.....you never give up....."  GAD, shut the hell up!!!! 

At the 2 minute mark, Caleb was ahead.  Tina was not gettin it done.  AND JUST LIKE JEFF SAID, THINGS CHANGED IN A MINUTE".  Caleb's falls over and Tina just waits the time out.  Tina survives.  And then Jeff just had to go into the whole "how do you stand Colton??  Your relationship is puzzling to me" crap.  Caleb tells him, well they are both men so they have that in common.  Frankly I thought it was rude. 

Laura gives Ciera the clue, and she decides to keep it. 

Back at camp the twit shares it with her "alliance"- Tyson, Gervase, and Monica.  They all go looking for it, and Hayden and Katie follow.  Tyson finds it again, and with dramatic epic music playing, hides it in his crotch.  Because apparently there is a lot of room down there.  Decides not to share it.

So here's the thing that always bothers me.  You see one person quit looking for an idol and then what, you all just also figure "oh well, it's too hard"???  WTF???  I'd still be out there looking. 

Hayden knows he's toast, so he tries to work Gervase on the second place angle.  Gervase either pretends to listen or is kinda interested.  He tells Hay that he needs a 100% plan with Ciera in.

Challenge.  It's an obstacle course with a balance a ball thing, followed by the bean bag toss.  Wanna know?  Immunity and an ice cream truck. 

Monica, as expected, has vast pole experience.  She just kicks ass on the balance and the obstacle course.  Gets to the bean bags in front.  Gervase is right behind, and he kicks the bean bags.  Tyson shows up and tries but Hay and Katie are in the weeds. 

Gervase wins immunity.  He choses Monica and Tyson to join him.  Hayden thinks he can work Ciera on the see??  You;re 4th angle.  She has no intention of working with him but he keeps pointing out nobody ever wins without making the big move. 

He keeps working Gervase and Ciera and finally tells Tyson that they aren't willing to go against him.  Hayden decides to blow up tribal.

Tribal

Hayden is on fire.  It's a 4-2 split and everyone is controlled by Tyson.
Ciera insists she is not in fact controlled by Tyson.  She's comfortable about not being chosen for food. 
Gervase keeps stepping in it calling they 1,2,3,4 and Ciera is always 4.  He says, "that's because those 2 were  my original alliance". 
Hayden keeps telling then this is their chance.  He wispers "Monica" to Katie and Ciera. 

Katie makes some inane comment about not being involved in the "political whatever", which totally pisses Jeff off because THAT'S THE WHOLE GAME AND THE WHOLE REASON I GET PAID MONEY TO HOST THIS SHOW.

Monica keeps telling Ciera that 4 is better than 6, again telling her she's 4.  Hayden:  See??? You;re #4.  You could be $3 with us. 
Gervase says she should stay with them because "at least we're honest".  This gets a big laugh from the crowd.  Again, Gervase says it's 1,2,3,4 and points to Ciera as #4.  If it's 3-3 it forces the rocks to be drawn.  (when did they give up the fire challenge to break a tie?????)

Hayden says if Ciera isn't 4, Monica is.  He's trying to "rustle feathers".  Tyson takes time out to correct him that the correct word is "ruffle.  Russell is a mans name".  "It's rustle, not Russell".  LOL!! Kind of an inane interlude. 

Time to vote. Tyson tells Ciera to stick with him and Monica.

 Hayden 3, Monica 3. 

Revote: Hayden 2, Monica 2.  Deadlocked.  Per the rules of Survivor 2.7 edition, Katie, Ciera, Tyson, Gervase must come to a unanimous decision or draw rocks (not Gervase). 

Ciera: Don't bullshit me.  I'm #4, I'm doing rocks. 
And just like that, they're doing rocks.  Which is a stupid move for Tyson with an idol in his crotch. 

And.....Katie is out.  Tyson "I didn't think you had the balls to do it".

It's GAME ON.  God I hope Laura comes back and shakes it all up again!!!

 

Survivor Update: The Jeff Therapist is IN

Is anyone else looking forward to season 42 when Tina crawls once again out of her box of sawdust and plays against her grandchildren?? 

So yea, last week's update was canceled due to Thanksgiving.  Right about now last week I was in my pajamas screaming "I fucking hate this holiday" to my scared as hell husband.  My notes say "Big Ciera drama" and Laura went to redemption again.  Oh right, they made a big deal that Ciera voted her mom off.  LOL.

Ok, so now everyone's all ooooh Ciera is showing her loyalty... except Tyson now things she appears to be "playing the game" and dangerous.  Laura shows up at redemption and Tina is expecting it to be Katie.  Question: how far away from the tribe do you think the fake redemption island set is?  Like, how far do they have to walk from tribal to redemption?  Or is there a car that takes them?  It seemed to me Tina and Vytas were aware someone was coming.  I want to know if this is really spread out or if the "sets" are really right next to each other.  And, is this public land??  Or are they renting someone's farm/beach??  They'd have to be renting someone's fancy land to have access to that much space, with a production crew, etc.  Just wondering.....

Oh, so the show.  On Redemption, everyone's all "why can't they see Tyson is in charge and vote him off??" 

Duel time.  Vytas, Laura and Tina.  They have to roll cubes down a mesh tunnel thing, and then solve a puzzle with the cubes.  Tina sucks at getting the cubes out and falls behind.  Laura wins, and then tells Tina how to do the puzzle, thereby getting rid of Vytas.  This is followed by about 10 freaking minutes of Dr. Jeff going on and on about the Vytas-Aras relationship and it's SUCH PSYCHOBABBLE BULLSHIT I have to leave the room and get a drink of something strong.  Laura gives the clue to Ciera who burns it. 

Is it me or does Ciera look like a ferret? 

Tyson is determined to get rid of Katie, because he thinks she now has 3 jury votes.  I guess he's counting the people on RI. 

Hayden and Caleb, the southern braintrust, are waiting for their time to strike.  "You don't want to wait too long to get blindsided".  They decide to take out Tyson.  They tell Katie their plans and she's obviously all for it.  They then tell Ciera who listens and plays along and then runs straight to Tyson.

Ciera is upset that Hayden and Caleb are going all rogue and "it's too sketchy" for me.  She talks to Tyson, tells him she doesn't trust them and basically tells him she's totally with him.  Tyson tells Gervase, who I cannot believe is still in this game.  They're all "what happened to our 4 man alliance"?? 

Next morning, Ciera is all ridiculously obvious.  She asks Tyson to go with her to get tree mail, and won't look Caleb or Hayden in the eye.  They're like, "hmmmmmm, this is weird."  Ceira, in addition to looking like a ferret has a lazy eye, amiright?? 

Hayden has a stroke of genius.  WHAT IF CIERA TELLS TYSON??? Hayden and Katie are now nervous and need a plan B. 

Challenge.  Come on in, guys.  They have to hold a bucket with 25% of their body weight in it.  But, there's a twist.....who wants to sit it out and eat?  Tyson, Gervase AND CIERA sit out and are obnoxious about eating.  Seriously, how many seasons do people have to watch before you realize you NEVER SIT IT OUT AND EAT???  I mean these 3 are being so awful.  Ciera, why not just hold up a sign saying, "I'M WITH TYSON"? 

Monica wins her 3rd immunity challenge.  Jeff is all into the psychology of why some people chose to eat, asking why they feel so secure.  Back at camp, all Tyson can do is discuss the food.  Katie thinks those 3 eating was telling.  YA THINK??? 

Plan B is to flat out ask Tyson if he's splitting with their alliance.  Tyson: "you were after ME".  They try to convince him that Ciera is wicked and is playing both sides.  Tyson doesn't trust them. 

Gervase is all, "yo, what are we doing??" 

Tribal.

Eating shows no harmony and too much confidence.  I think Jeff said that.  Anyway, he's ramped up about that again.  Hayden-my hands were totally bleeding and I held on.  I'm jealous that they feel so good today.

Caleb says he wasn't shocked about Ciera because she feels comfortable.  Ciera says, "if I don't think I can win I might as well eat". Tyson was surprised more people didn't eat. 

Now Jeff is all about TRUST.  Gervase goes on about trust looking at Hayden.  Jeff points it out to Ciera and asks her if she would be surprised if it was her.  Yes, Jeff I would. 

Vote.  Tyson plays the idol to the shock of everyone.  Caleb ends up voted off.  And Jeff is still talking about trust and blah blahblah.