Over at the blue tribe, they've lost another flint. Personally I was willing to blame the monkeys (although I am 100% sure there is an electric fence actually keeping any wild life out of camp) but Jon admits he was the last to use it, throws himself on his sword and sucks it up like a man.
Aaaand, right into the challenge. Nadya is missing and Jeff has to probe that raw nerve over and over until he gets Natalie to cry. And she apparently never cries.
Challenge: One person from the tribe goes against their loved one to balance a bar while navigating an "obstacle course", then they get to play skeeball. Now, knowing if you win you get to send your loved one to Exile, or if you lose you get to go, WHY WOULD ANYONE VOLUNTEER TO DO THESE CHALLENGES??? Wanna know what you win? Cabelos Bargain Cave of fishing equipment! Rock, paper, scissors. Paper covers scissors. One day I will understand this. They must have taught it in boys gym not girls.
John Rocker (JR) goes up against his full breasted "long term no commitment girlfriend". Who is a dead ringer for a cheaper version of Angelina Jolie. Or maybe they get the same lip injections. JR is a neck cracker. As was an old douchebag boyfriend of mine. So, yea, I totally hate him.
Julie totally kicks his ass. He repeatedly drops the ball and we begin to see the oh so predictable steroid induced temper tantrums. She wins, and is happy because "he always wins at physical challenges, including date rape". He's upset because "I got beat by a girl". JULIE, HONEY, THERE IS STILL TIME FOR YOU TO GET OUTTA THIS RELATIONSHIP.
She decides to send Jeremy to Exile with JR. So the blue tribe wins the fishing gear. "Um, Jeff, we have a problem and have a little deal to make you. We lost our flint and would like to trade a half (or almost full) a bag of beans for new flint". Oooh, we get to see the ANGRY JEFF. "You want to KEEP all of the fishing gear, AND GET FLINT, for a shitty bag of beans? " He explains he doesn't need to make a deal, and reams them for waiting until AFTER they won the fishing gear to make the deal, instead of coming in from the start and admitting it, THEN trading the only thing they had. He's PISSED that they waited until they won the fishing gear to propose the deal. Hey, Jeff, it is SURVIVOR..... He wants them to trade all the fishing gear for flint, and tells them, like any good Asians selling purses on the street, "you come back, price go up" After hemming and hawing they decide to take the flint.
Natalie is back at camp and crying. All of the girls comfort. Now we get to see if both sisters are annoying bitches or it was just Nadya all along.
Yellow:
Dale and the other guys figure out who John Rocker is. Dale remembers most of the story of racist and bigoted comments coming out of the Sports Illustrated interview. Josh considers whether he might have changed, but also thinks someone like that is great to take with you because he is gonna be hated.
Oh Exile, Jeremy knows who John Rocker is. I guess it would be like all women recognizing Tanya Harding?? And NOTE TO MARK BURNETT- WHAT IS TANYA DOING NEXT SEASON??? He's upset because there are no coconuts. It's ok, you're apparently only going to be there for about 20 minutes. They find the urns. JRs is empty but Jeremy shares his clue with him with the caveat that he use it to protect Val and he will protect Julie.
Immunity Challenge. In comes JR and Jeremy. It's a water challenge! God, I remember when every challenge started with "swim out and get X". They rarely use the water anymore! It's a sumo wrestling challenge on a floating platform.
First up, Jaclyn takes on Kelley. Jac has to first adjust her breast implants. Like in a major way. She kick Kelley's butt.
Then the brothers go head to head. It's kind of a grudge match. Drew wins.
Jeremy loses to the strange little cabbage patch kid, Wes.
Natalie kicks Val's ass. Literally. That girl can fight.
JR, who is looking fat to me, loses to Jon. His nose is bleeding and when asked about it he shouts a strange profanity word.
Then it's the mother and daughter pair, Missy and Baylor. They're all determined to have it out, picturing each other as their least favorite of the ex husbands. Jeff apparently likes to watch mothers and daughters get down and dirty fighting. First second of contact and Missy splits Baylor's lip. It freaks Missy out, watching Baylor cry and she loses her drive, Baylor for the win.
Josh goes up against Reed. "Go Josh" "It's Reed that's on our tribe..." LOL! Reed kicks butt, and they enjoy it way too much.
Keith against Dale, Dale wins
And it comes down to Dale's daughter Kelley vs boob woman, Jaclyn. Dale is upset because it is also his daughter's birthday but he doesn't want to lose. He chooses not to watch. Kelley wins and the blue tribe yet again wins immunity!
Yellow:
Val decides it's "time to make big moves". ahhhh, that always ends well..... Dale walks up to Jaclyn and they have a good natured "I currently hate your daughter but I'll get over it".
Val and JR take a walk together. He tells her that Jeremy got the clue and shared it with him. She asks "Did you find the other idol hidden on Exile? Because I got that one AND the one from here." JR goes looking for the idol and finds it but doesn't question the fact that Val lied to him. THERE IS NEVER AN IDOL HIDDEN AT CAMP UNTIL ONE IS USED PEOPLE. He then talks to Josh and Wes, tells them about the idol she has and says they should split the vote 3 for Val and 3 for Baylor. He's trying to save Val so Jeremy will keep his GF safe. Val also announces to JR and Jaclyn that she has 2 idols and that she's gonna use them to save herself and Jaclyn. I still don't understand this reasoning.
Josh is suspicious because he's seen JR and Val walking out together and that has never happened. Wes thinks the idol needs to be flushed out.
JR then tells Val the plan, telling her she has GOT to play her idol. Val doesn't say anything about the fact that she doesn't have an idol (BTW, what the hell does Dale have??) She decides that she and Jaclyn will just swing their votes to Baylor, who will go down 5-3.
Josh decides to make a move: “Tonight what it ends up coming down to is what do I think is going to get me to the top.”
Tribal:
I love it when Jeff acts all pissed that they're losers again.
Dale: You are 0-4. Yes, Jeff we have not made good strategic decisions. Almost every time we put loved ones together, for reasons other than strategy, they lost.
Alex: I just wanted a chance to revenge my Teddy Bear that Drew buried in the back yard when we were 4. He laments that they go with emotion instead of thinking in advance.
JR: We're gonna gel....
Jeff: YOU DON'T HAVE TIME
Josh goes on this really strange loooooong explanation about putting on a Broadway Show, and having time to close down, redo the dance numbers and open again to success. It's truly bizarre but I think it's about how they need to take a few weeks off at Club Med, and rework a few things.
Val goes off in full angry black woman gear. "There are people in camp who try to play both sides". She's mad because she doesn't really have many social skills. She calls out Baylor,
Jaclyn says, "yea, Baylor flipped after she told me to vote for Dale"
Baylor: Did not
Val: Only the girls would talk to me and YOU TOLD ME TO VOTE FOR DALE
Baylor: WOW
Val: WOW IS RIGHT BITCH
Wes: Val says she has 2 idols, the impact of which is to vote for her and draw the idols out
Val: I'm not nervous......
Time to vote. Anyone got an idol? Crickets. JR makes an exploding head motion
It's Val 4, Baylor 4. Tied. They revote KNOWING THERE IS NO IDOL, and Val is toast.
Jeff: SOMETHING HAS GOT TO CHANGE.......
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