SURVIVOR: Dried Fruit and Nuts

So, we come to the merge!  When apparently the REAL GAMES begin.  But first, a little drama with Keith being upset that he got votes along with Dale.  Missy tells Keith he did it to protect her daughter.  He's done with them, DONE I SAY.  

As an aside, did you know Keith is 53?  Life in the south really is harder.  And is it me or is this a boring season so far?  I mean, the only drama is between a black dude and a white NYC dancer.  And most of that is just bitching about each other behind the camera.  I'm afraid someone's gonna bust out some West Side Story songs any minute!  

Ok, it's MERGE TIME.  They have to take all their gear and hike up to a nice little picnic while the crew cleans up the camps.  Josh and Reed bitch about not getting Jeremy off first. Oh, I mean not VOTING Jeremy off first.  Meanwhile, Jeremy says Josh and Reed are running the show and he wants to CRUSH them.  

Jon and Jac are thrilled for the merge because "no one dates people who don't make the merge.  So now we can keep dating"!  Yay!!!  Awww. their hobbies are both "learning about wine".  How adorable.  Here's all you need to know. Open bottle, fill glass and drink.  There's red, white and crappy pink shit.  It's a beverage people, no need to over think it.  They both talk and decide to "keep their options open" after the merge.  

So, now we will here more drivel about the SIGNIFICANCE OF HAVING OR NOT HAVING YOUR LOVED ONE WITH YOU.  Hey, does anyone know if Jeff still has that crappy talk show?  

And there's food. Question: Was trading everything for that rice wise?  Julie is sad that JR isn't there and she has to watch the other loved ones be loved ones.  Julie, honey, use the time apart to re-evaluate this relationship!  I mean, you're 34.  You've already got the fake boobs and the injected lips.  Do you really want to be known as still a long term girlfriend

 who clearly just had another skin peel?  Think about it, you're personal claim to fame is "creating my company True Glow Spray Tan."  I mean, you didn't even invent the spray tan!  

So it's back to Coyopa beach.  They name the new tribe Hoyopa.  LOL.  Here's HOYOPING this season gets better!  

Jeremy is scrambling.  He has Natalie and Julie but needs to pull in 2 couples.  He talks to Jon.  "Josh is running everything.  Join us and bring Baylor and the divorcee".  

Josh thinks Jeremy is scrambling and he tells Reed they need to get the numbers before he does.  He "reminds" Baylor that he saved her life.  She tells him she'll talk to her momma and get back to him.  Missy isn't going along.  Says, I already hooked up with the single people.  LOL- of COURSE SHE DID.  Baylor feels bad and wants to tell Josh but Mom is like, SUCK IT UP.  

Josh tries working Jon/Jac.  They're in the middle again.  He tells them, "who's going to give 2 Broadway STARS a million dollars?  Jon/Jac think that because they are Broadway stars they may fuck it up.  But they do see the benefit of being with the couples.  You're guaranteed Top 5 and 6.  

Aaaaaaaaaand now the TRAIL MIX caper.  Julie, who has been much photographed laying in the sun (missing that spray tan, arentcha girlfriend) tonight, pocketed some trail mix at the merge partay and the hungry hoards are sniffing around for it.  While she's out eating a dried apricot, they decide to do a bag search (is that unethical??) and they find, steal and eat her stash.  "Selfish  bitch".  "Why does she think she's better than us??"  "Air of entitlement".  WOW!  

Immunity Challenge.  It's actually hard.  Balance a ball on a disk held with 2 ropes.  Balance for 10 minutes, then a longer rope, then another 10 minutes and a second ball is added.  OH AND THE WIND!  OMG THE WIND!  Jeff talks about the WIND for the next 10 minutes.  Hey a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jeff!  He turned THE SANE AGE AS KEITH on Nov 4.  Here's another interesting tidbit-he has a net worth of $40 million.  This world is fucked up.  He makes $4 million a year doing 40 days in the jungle basically.  

Jeremy is out very fast.  As is Missy and Julie.  Second round, Reed, Baylor, Alec, Jac and Natalie are out. In the final round, Josh then Jon are out leaving it a father-son competition.  Dad wins!  He still has some juice at the age of 53!  

Jeremy is pissed off at being first out.  "I was out before even JULIE!"  But at least we have the numbers.  

Alec says something snarky about the trail mix and Julie is upset.  She talks to Momma Bear, tells her "my head isn't in the game" -as if that was ever a possibility.  Missy asks her to not quit tonight because they need the numbers, which only makes Julie more upset.  "They are using me...."

Jon says he's done a 180 on the alliance. I guess he can't associate with someone who pockets trail mix.  LOL-dude, you're a financial analyst, you hang around worse criminals every damn day!!  

Hey, WHERE IS JULIE AND HER BAG????  Well, she's talking to Jeff.  "It's SOOOO HAAAAAARD".  " I can't stand being alllloooooooone.  I've had a boyfriend since 3rd grade.  JR and I have been together for 3 yeeeeeaaaaars.  We haven't been apart for more than 4 daaaaaays.  Jeff points out that kids go to summer camp for longer than Survivor.  LOL!!  "I think I'm out.  I'm judged constantly about being vain (check), about my boobs being too big (check and check).  I can't stay just because they need my vote, I can't compromise....something.  Whatever.  Frankly I think she's afraid JR is off bonking the hell out of everything that moves without her there to watch him.  

She quits.  And at camp.....Jeff arrives.  Which is never good.  I have bad news.  Julie is out.  Jeremy shits himself.  "Some of you look sad and some happy"  

Josh: It's a complicated game

Jeremy : it's ridiculous for her to quit

Alec: She had it hard

Jac: She dug herself a hole by stealing food.  Food is HUGE

Jon: She had to face the fact that she is selfish.

The good news?  No one is going home tonight...... DAMMIT!!!