Quick Survivor Update: Week 3

This  is gonna be a quick one, and not because of too much St Pats celebrating.  

Apparently last week's theme was "who is the biggest pain in the ass on your tribe?"  On the WC tribe, it's apparently Shirin,  We see her talking to a monkey and then watching monkey sex, but hey, WHO WOULDN'T WATCH THAT SHIT???  Her mistake apparently was running back to the cool kids and saying OMG I JUST WATCHED 2 MONKEYS HAVE SEX!!!!!  And the cool rich kids are all, "meh, I was once on a safari and watched lots of animals have sex".  Plus, being in corporate America they watch people getting screwed every damn day.  Carolyn has her cameo asking how Shirin works in Corporate America (like it's a fucking kingdom all its own) and be crazy?  Well, since Shirin actually works at Yahoo, it's probably a necessary quality.  Shirin apparently has the black X of doom on her back.

On the BC tribe there is actually a contest for asshole of the week.  First we get fat and old Dan Wanna know how old Dan is?  HE'S FRIGGIN 47 YEARS OLD.  Are you kidding me???  Blue collar work is apparently a killer.  He admits he has a big mouth.  Which he used to his disadvantage in a little bantering with Rodney, telling him "your mother's a %^%^$".  Rodney is a hot head himself and he gets his Boston all up.  "You're lucky you're on Survivor".  Kelly, who is a cop is all "these people are too serious".  She deals with drunks having fights all the time and knows to slow walk to the situation and give the drunks a change to kiss and make up.  Also vying and possibly winning the asshole title is Texas Mike.  Even his bathing suit is the Texas flag.  He's a type A asshole who can't stop working, because  his father-figure preacher told him to work hard.  Jeezuz, do we always have to have a crazy Christian on this show?  For the first 3 weeks I thought he had a tattoo on his back like a sports jersey but apparently it's a bible verse.  

Mike and Rodney get into it because Mike wants Rodney to get firewood RIGHT FUCKING NOW.  Rodney wants to eat his rice and then get firewood a little later.  Rodney loses it and rants to his now buddy again Dan "I don't work for nobody".  He does a pretty awesome rant on Texas and working on an ooil rig.  

And just to keep the contest on a equal opportunity basis, Mike gets into it with the girls who are also tired of him being a dick and never saying thanks or recognizing all they do.  I have a theory that the white collars get their rewards in money but the blue collars need to be recognized for their work in order to feel good.  It's very important apparently.  Lindsay loses it and says DID YOUR GOD MAKE THIS FIRE??? Yea that might have been a bit too far but Mike keeps saying over and over "then send me home".  Might get your wish dude.  

And the no collars, well they get off on doing whatever the hell they feel like.  For Hali and Jenn it was surfing this week.  Because NCs are ALL ABOUT FUN.  Nina clearly is too intense for this tribe.  She knows she is probably next going home and asks if they can just not make her feel like an outsider until then.  Joe (aka Orlando Bloom from Pirates of the Caribbean) tries to be nice to her and sweet talk her.  He's like, "you don't know you're next".  Nina says she used to be WC, in sales and management but since she lost her hearing 7 years ago she thought she was a no collar.  BUT THESE KIDS ARE JUST A BUNCH OF NUTJOBS.  I'm betting half of these kids are on their parent's healhcare plan and living in their basements.  Nina correctly understands there is such a thing as needing to EAT, needing medical care and NEEDING TO HAVE MONEY TO RETIRE ON SOMEDAY.  Part of me thinks these Peter Pan "I never want to grow up" kids resent her and see her as a mom figure.  Plus, that whole deaf thing is a total downer, man.  Will?  I can't figure him out.  His claim to fame is a youtube video of he and his wife singing and dancing at a gas station pump.  And yes, you've probably seen it.  Does he have a job?  No one seems to know.  I don't really see him as no collar either.  But he's black so I guess he wouldn't fit the white or blue collar expected narrative.  Oh, was that bad to say out loud?  

WCs spent a bit of time looking for the idol, which Carolyn has.  Carolyn sits on her ass "tending the fire".  Why not just put a giant sign on your back that says I ALREADY FOUND THE IDOL.  Shirin gets tired of looking and wants to declare a truce until the next clue.  Joaquin loses it on her telling her she's a paranoid. panicky woman.  He calls her a blood sucking leech.  Tyler knows Carolyn has the idol but when Joaquin shares the clue he doesn't say anything.  Tyler also thinks Shirin is crazy mainly due to the no pants thing, but he also thinks Joaquin is on the outs.  

Whew. Finally the Immunity Challenge.  Wanna know?  Comfort.  Ist prize is the Pier One imports Survivor collection.  Second is a tarp.  Third is a date with Jeff.  

It's carry the barrel time!  Only the barrel has holes in it that the tribe has to use their hands to plug up while they  walk through a grid thing and then dump the water into another bucket, raise the flag.  

Bottom line, Orlando Bloom makes the stupid decision of not having Nina help with the holes.  DUDE, SHE'S DEAF NOT BLIND.  Consequently they get their asses kicked.  Blue collar wins the goods, white gets the tarp and no collar gets a trip to tribal.

It's kind of a given what's gonna happen but they spend a quick couple of minutes trying to convince us that Will might also be in jeopardy because he's out of shape and screws up challenges.  Orlando takes full blame for the hole decision, an apologizes to Nina for not trusting her.  The 3 cool kids are kind of like, yea either the black guy or the deaf chick.  Whatevs.  

Tribal.

Jeff:  last time you were all about trust and then Will voted differently.  Was that a surprise?

Will: I had to explain my vote after tribal.

Orlando:  In this game you only get a few changes to screw up and to lose everyone's trust.  TRUST IS HUGE

Jeff:  Why pull Nina??

Orlando: Yea, that was my fault.  I was afraid she would fall and take the bucket down with her.  BECAUSE SHE IS DEAF

Nina:  Because of my disability they look at me as fully disabled not just unable to hear.

Jenn rolls her eyes and basically is SOOO TIRED OF THIS CAN'T HEAR SHIT.  

Will thinks it's bullshit. He says she keeps making it about her deafness, they don't

Jeff asks some philosophical bullshit about "perception becoming reality" and Orlando jumps in and says he doesn't judge.

Will is forced to admit he got winded in the challenge but he says the problem is they didn't work together.  

Nina says they's be crazy to keep Will.

Jenn tells her basically, SHUT BITCH YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY WEAK.

Hali correctly states that she thinks Nina is on the wrong tribe.  She doesn't go with the flow and probably never even surfs!  

Nina admits she used to be corporate but she does feel like she is no collar.

Hali tells her, "well if you want to be a no collar you gotta start acting like a no collar".  

Then they vote and Nina is sent home.  Probably best for all involved.