Ahhhhhhhh.
Ok. Now I can do the update. After the LAST blindside of JT, Aubry says she's impressed. Da Queen explains it had to be done because of "da betrayal". Aubry says that clearly Sandra is running the show and she needs to learn from the master.
It's night on the Orange beach and Tai decides that, JUST LIKE ON THE OTHER BEACH, the idol is also buried at the water well. OH COME THE FUCK ON PROBST!!! REALLY??? Why not just give Tai a six pack of idols in a bubble pack and make the tough part him having to chew the container open. He goes out in the dark, with a camera crew that apparently none of the sleepers can hear or see, throws water on the well walls and HOLY SHIT WHAT AMAZEMENT!! Finds his second idol. His groin is gonna get chaffed from all that cheap raffia in there. Tai says "I a game changer".
Challenge. Or is it??? Drop your buffs!! They are re-divided back into 2 tribes with Debbie left to go to Exile Island. More on that ridiculousness in a minute. When told, she tells the totally FASCINATING AND LEWD story about the time as a child that she went off alone with a pony..... Somewhere there is a pony with a baaaaaaad story to tell.
Let's see them in their original colors to figure this out:
Current Mana:
Troyzan
Michaela
Sierra
Hali
Aubry
Cirie
Brad
Current Nuku
Sandra
Varner
Tai
Ozzy
Andrea
Zeke
Sarah
So Mana is pretty well split 4-3 but Brad tries to make a Troy-Brad man connection. Troy is a bit hesitant to get into a man alliance and get his balls whacked by the ladies. He says, "we're not connected just because we're men". So Brad now has an alliance of 3 with Sierra and Troy but needs a 4th.
On Nuku Sandra and Jeff are the odd men out. Sandra AINT EVEN SCARED. She's calm and collected because DA QUEEN STAYS DA QUEEN. Zeke and Under-the-radar Ozzie decide Sandra has to go but also that their best bet is to make them feel comfortable and safe. Andrea thinks Tai is scary.
Zeke talks to Tai and tells him Sandra. Tai agrees because he's terrified of her. Zeke is telling Sandra and Jeff that the vote is Tai and he hopes Tai doesn't find out. Fortunately he has his balls full of idols.
Ok, So here's the Debbie thing and I effing swear to god that they invented this on the fly to handle her. Exile Island is basically a luxury yacht, probably where Probst actually stays during the taping with is little island niblets. Debbie is gleefully running around the boat when another boat pulls up and.....it's Cochran. She's awestruck because she thinks sex with Cochran JUST MIGHT be better than a pony. He's no doubt like, "oh my god not Debbie". He says his role is to talk strategy with her. Debbie tells him everything is A-OK, and he's thinking, "then why did I get an emergency call OUT IN HOLLYWOOD to come handle a survivor problem??" She tells him she's secure and he deduces that her fatal flaw was and is overconfidence. He tells her there is no such thing as a great position and she confides she MIGHT have had a tiff with Brad before this happened. Cochran points out to her that while she is on the yacht, Brad has time to tell people what a fucking nutter she is and push her out of the game. He tells her she needs to go back and swallow her pride, mend fences, etc.
He also gives her another advantage. It's a choice of 3 options: a fake idol kit, and extra vote and a team challenge advantage. She takes the extra vote. She cries and he tells her "this could be a GAME CHANGER" for her. Cochran is forced to hug her for a bit before he can get the hell out of dodge. "You're gonna do great!!!"
Ok, I just gotta state the truth here and NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT, but Zeke and Varner have a little gay down time on the beach and "bond". Jeff tells Zeke that he's scared and Zeke feels like he's a desperate person that he could maybe save. He tells Jeff he's not at the bottom and that Zeke wants Tai to go home. Jeff buys into it. "I'm in".
Sandra asks Jeff what youse was talking about. Jeff tells her that they are targeting Tai and she says she's in but it aint adding up. "I'll take control. They don't know Da Queen.
Immunity Challenge. Today the refrigerator magnets have lined up as follows:
Swim to a platform
Monkey bars
Lift heavy puzzle pieces
Put heavy puzzle pieces on a sled
Drag heavy sled up the beach using roller logs
Do puzzle
It's basically a blow out and Orange wins immunity sending Blue Nuku to tribal.
At the campfire, Ozzie is sad that they lost but Zeke says they can now get rid of Sandra. Sandra thinks it's time to work her magic. She tells Zeke, Ozzy and Sarah that when Debbie comes back, having her, Tai and Aubry isn't going to be good for them come merge. She tells them she could help them. Sarah points out later that it was as if Sandra was grooming them. Kind of like when your mom spit washed your hair down and them slapped you in the head. That kind of grooming. Ozzie admits he did make eye contact with her and felt for a moment his spirit begin to be sucked in the vortex, but then he woke up and remembered why she has to go. BUT, he does think she is right about those 3.
Tai is getting worried because everyone has disappeared. I was wondering if he was gonna look for a freaking 3rd idol for his jock. He talks to Ozzie and Jeff and mentions that it's Sandra. Jeff tells Sandra and she says it's all about setting Tai up and she's gonna twist it and he is GOING HOME.
Tribal and Debbie returns.
Andrea is all about getting rid of big threats
Ozzie says it's all about which of us returning hero's is the biggest threat
Probst points out that Ozzie was looking at Sandra when he said that. She says, yep, it's probably me.
Tai says it's accurate that Sandra is the target but that he is also worried because he took out Malcolm.
Sarah indicates that she's heard a few names and says some people might be open still
Tai says that's what he's worried about because no one said any other names to him. Says he thought it was all Sandra votes.
Sandra jumps on this and tells Tai she'll vote anyway he wants. Tai whispers in her ear.
Sandra tells everyone he said Ozzy.
Tai agrees that he said Ozzy because he is the biggest physical threat
Lots of craziness again ensues and people are talking about voting Tai behind his back.
Zeke points out to Tai that he constantly tells everyone he's looking for an idol.
Varner asks if they can just vote. So they do.
Any idols? Nope.
And after 94 days playing Survivor, DA QUEEN's torch is snuffed out. ADIOS!!!
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