Hellooooooo!! And yes, I am still alive and watching Survivor! Yes, I missed 2 updates and no I am not going to write 3 episodes up today! Suffice it to say my girl, Chrissy is a tough mamma who has escaped 2 tribals on the block now and has bested both Roark and Ali. I'm still not spending the pool money early on her though!!
Last week's RIBEYE, LAVA CAKE AND OCEAN FILLING DIARRHEA was brought to you by OUTBACK STEAK. Mmmmmmmm.
So, they are in these mixed up tribes right now, and maybe or may not be forming "new alliances". Will the old tribal ones stick or will these new ones stick? Or is this a season where every vote is an alliance buster?
Cole says their tribe has GREAT CHEMISTRY and will always be together, for ever and ever and ever. Ben still thinks Cole and Jess are too close and play too much pattycake laying on the beach every day. So although they are in his original alliance, he's not trusting them.
On whatever team Ashley and Devon are on, they are STARVING. Too bad you can't eat Joe's bullshit. Devon is hardly able to move his ass he's so hungry.
Aaaaaaand, drop your buffs we are merged! Which normally means food but Jeff has to be the little jokester saying it's not normal this time. IT'S OUTBACK STEAK TIME!!! Personally, I'd be all "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLOOMIN ONION???" But they all seem to be happy with steak, potato and lave cake. A few of them order 2 steaks which if you have ever watched this show before can be dangerous to starving people. Like I said, that ocean front location is gonna have a lot of brown water in it tomorrow. Best to be the first up to use the bathtoilet.
So at the feast, Chrissy has her first meeting with obnoxious Joe who spurts out how he had to use an idol. Someone asks which color it was which gives at least Chrissy the idea that he may have found a second idol at the last beach. Chrissy also starts chatting with Ben again about their alliance and he's like "SHHHHHHHHH!!!!! TALK TO ME LATER IN SECRET YOU IDIOT". Ben says he has no formal alliances with anyone now that the playoffs have started and that there are gonna be "blindsides, lies and lots of cryin".
They appear to be at a new camp supplied by Home Depot with anything anyone could ever need. Including a bunch of nails with a clue in the package that Cole misses. No idea what happened to the clue or if anyone found it.
So, here's the math which makes up the rest of the episode discussions. There are 4 Heroes, 5 healers and 3 hustlers left. Which means if they are sticking with original tribes means 2 of the tribes need to work together. Jess figures out they need at least 2 more to have the needed 7 votes, since there are 12 people. Ryan and Devon are back as the old bromance (although I think Devon has grown up a bit) and they discuss the need for a merger with the heroes to get their numbers.
Devon and Lauren talk about how everyone will want them. Devon wants to get out healers.
It begins to shake down between getting rid of Cole or Joe because one is annoying and one is too strategic. Ben doesn't trust Cole and thinks he is selfish the way he just eats food, like his eating the cinnamon sticks. Ben says something to Jess who has to have another talk with her idiot "boyfriend" about it. She admits that Ben said something about it.
Mike realized he is not in fact the Survivor mastermind, and that OTHER PEOPLE ARE ALSO PLAYING!! He starts worrying if his Healer 5 will hold together. Mike talks to Cole and tells him that he's on the top of the to go list.
Immunity Challenge
It's kinda cool. They have to hold this big circle with a ball inside, keeping the ball going around and then stepping down a ramp with one foot. You have to pay attention and not listen OR respond to Jeff's gibberish like Mike does and gets his ass gone quickly. At the end Desi wins immunity!
So back on the beach it's all hands on deck to figure out who are the 7 votes needed. Cole knows he is in trouble so he talks to Ben and apologizes for being a jerk. Ben says he didn't want to call him out and Cole says "I wish you would! How else will I learn?" Ben thinks Cole has been annoying the whole time out and that tactically it might make sense to take him out.
Cole and Joe say they are both targets Cole though says he has this 5 vote pact with Ben to which Joe asks basically "You trust Ben??"
Cole talks to Mike, Lauren and Devon about Chrissy being a big threat He says if they have 5 healers the hustlers they can take her out.
Lauren tries to figure out where Ben is about Chrissy but Ben wants Cole. Chrissy holds court on the beach and they discuss Cole but they play it like it's Joe so he plays his idol. What if Cole has an idol?? The next best person then is Jess.
Tribal. Wow, Jeff is still getting paid extra to say that fire is life crap! Still a few that haven't been to a tribal at the merge.
Jeff discusses the 5/4/3 split from the original tribes. Ryan says yes, those numbers are correct but there have been maybe other alliances made.
Joe rejects the notion that all 12 people are really nervous about going home. He calls bullshit on that.
There is a discussion about why saying "I'm not worried" is good because then it tells your alliance you trust them. Cole steps up and says "I trust you and I'm not worried".
Lauren says something about voting for physical threats
Chrissy says something about not just voting for physical threats
Joe says he is basically the best Survivor player of all time but he is not the only threat out there. He talks about people now voting together for each vote but "it's deuces next time"
Mike says he is clearly at the bottom of the healers so it might quickly be deuces for him.
Joe says he didn't just find one idol he found 2 and pulls the second out and puts it around his neck.
Cole, who really just is a boob who likes like a deer in the headlights says, well it was between Joe and me but now he's safe.
Ben says BATTLELINES ARE BEING DRAWN.....
Time to Vote, and Joe uses his idol for himself.
Chrissy gets 5 votes.....and Jess gets 7 and is the first member of the jury where she will wait anxiously for lover boy to get his dumb ass voted off.
Jeff, whose contract says he gets the last word: It's not always about who goes home but new alliances that form.......
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