Survivor Update and Some Social Commentary

Weeeeellllll, that escalated quickly......

I said to my husband when they went to commercial after the vote but before it was read that that had NEVER happened before in all of the seasons.  I guess they wanted people to not turn off after the vote and stay on until the dramatic, and frankly entirely predictable, conclusion of the episode.  

But let me deal with the entire episode before we dish about that.  So the week before ended with another insane tribal council.  As a reminder, Dean told Tommy he was getting voted out right as Tribal started and Noura went ape shit and blew up their plans.  

So the evening return to camp went also crazy.  Tommy is now in love with Dean who "saved him" and out of love with Noura who is not trustworthy.  Dude.  It's been 37 days of her being a nutjob and NOW you think she's a liar??  SHE'S EFFING NUTS.  I just checked and she is listed as an "entrepreneur" which in this case no doubt means "unable to hold a real job".  Noura thanks the crowd for keeping her, saying she was never going to write down Tommy.  

Noura is still in her manic phase and says Dean messed up so bad.  So she steals his shoes and "hides" them up on the tribe sign too high up for short him to reach.  "Dean, you are on the way out whether or not you realize it".  

Dean and Elaine go looking for an idol.  Janet and Tommy also go looking.  Janet finds it and she and Tommy stand and read it and look at it long enough for Dean and Elaine to stand and watch them.  

Everyone is discussing Noura being crazy.  But Elaine still knows she's public enemy #1 so she "has to make moves".  She talks to Lauren about her alliance with Tommy, and how she has now been replaced in his eyes with  Dean.  She points out that no one wants to sit next to her at the end.  Lauren says Elaine is making her think about Tommy and Dean.  

Lauren confronts Tommy and tells him she thinks they want her out and that they want a 3 man final with Dean, Tommy and Dan.  Tommy tells her she's acting like a jealous girlfriend.  Tommy then runs to the 2 boys and they laugh about their final 3 plans while Tommy says he needs to get rid of Lauren.  Says "it's fun to lie".  Dan isn't sold on Dean yet.  

The boat arrives and they need to pick a name to go to Isle of the Idols.  Dean gets picked, unfortunately, which means we get more screen time with him.  

BR has enjoyed his time on Survivor, and is out swimming and catching fish.  It's really cute how they pretend they are roughing it. He catches a fish and he and Sandra eat it.  It says a lot that this season these are my favorite "players", and I take back everything I ever said about not wanting them there.  I wonder if they will make an appearance at the final tribal council and give their thoughts?  

Anywhoo, Dean sees his "childhood idols", which is gotta burn BR.  Sandra asks him how the game is going and he says he feels good.  He tells him he backed out of the blindside and he's in good shape because he has the legacy from them.  Sandra keeps a straight face and Dean asks if she can confirm the idol is real.  She says she cannot confirm.  He tells them he made a fake legacy idol, of the fake legacy idol and Sandra calls him brilliant.  Hmmmmm.  He tells him his big plan is to get them all to vote for him, pull out the legacy and make a big move of deciding who goes home.  BR gently tells him it's never a good idea to put votes on yourself.....

BR tells him he's there for a lesson about jury management.  He asks Dean if he is going to be able to tell a good story to the jury.  Tells him "how you get there gives you votes".  You need a story that says you are the best player.  He offers him this test- a wager for a choice of 3 different advantages.  It's basically a coin flip to get an advantage or lose  vote and if he wins he could have a big bragging story.  Dean says he's going to do it and he goes for the idol nullification.  BR flips the coin and of course he wins.  

Dean returns and tells them that it was all just a coin flip, which he did but lost his vote.  He them tells the boys club he really won.  Perhaps at the finale when Jeff goes all "Survivor is a mirror on society" he could include the part where white men all stick together and lie and chat against women and minorities in real life too.  They also apparently cover for each other when they grab and harass women, but we're not there yet.....

Immunity Challenge:  They have to spin to unwind themselves, then do a dizzy balance beam and then a giant word puzzle.  Elaine is all 'OH NOOOOOO, WORD PUZZLE!!!"  Elaine is about 5 seconds from getting it but Dean wins immunity.  

After they return, Dean and Dan go off to look for some female producers to harass.  Lauren, Noura, Tommy and Janet discuss putting all of their votes on Elaine.  Later, Tommy says Noura is plan B but she doesn't know it.  

Lauren thinks Dan and Tommy might decide to get rid of her.  She talks to Elaine about getting rid of Noura.  Elaine says she'll do whatever to stay in.  Lauren is thinking about it because she "needs a resume".  Lauren talks to Janet about it.  Janet wonders who is more dangerous, Noura or Elaine??

Tribal-BR and Sandra see that Dean won immunity.  They laugh because once more he sits down at tribal and starts doing stretches.  

Elaine says she was pissed to lose immunity because she almost had it.  

Tommy says 7 players is ideal because you only need 4 to change things.

Dan says that it's still dangerous, that their "foundation had an earthquake last time and now they are all stronger".

Elaine says she has been a target since Day 1.  She asks why not keep her to the end?  Points out that her vote is for Noura, and that if she goes to the end then it's choice between Noura or Janet.  

Janet and Lauren are talking

Elaine points out that 'if you're voting me out because I'm a threat, then you are basically stepping up to be the next threat.  

Janet says it's a lot to think about.  Lauren agrees.

Elaine says she's a glass half empty and that she's had a lot of rough times, mentions her mom dying 3 months ago she didn't have time to heal.  Janet hugs her.  Elaine says she's been fighting for 35 days and she's still fighting.

Janet tells her that there have been times in her life when she couldn't understand the tragedy.  She addresses Elaine and tells her that she ultimately will find her way.  

Elaine says that makes her not want to leave.  Says as long as she's there dreams are still alive.  

AND THEN THE COMMERCIAL BEFORE THEY VOTE....

Any idols?  Nope.  And Elaine is voted out.  Everyone is sad.

And then Jeff comes walking up the beach and drops the bombshell that Dan had "another episode off camera with a non contestant" and he won't be coming back.  Whaaaaattt??  Which is a total surprise but, actually, not a surprise at all because men who get away with shit like that once are empowered to try more next time.  

Questions I have that I hope will be answered:

1) why wasn't Kellee's report enough, even if the other 2 bitches recounted their reports?

2) why did it take a crew member complaining for him to get bounced?

3) was the event BEFORE or after the tribal vote and shouldn't Elaine be brought back in?

4) how much is Dan suing CBS for?  Because you KNOW the Harvey Weinstein's of the world always sue.  Even when they are 100% friggin guilty.  

Rumor is the finale is being taped, not live, this year for security and safety reasons.   I'm going with "because of the lawsuit Dan has filed about the show we have to edit anything said negatively about him".   You know what Jeff?  I'd rather this entertainment show WASN'T a mirror of the worst of our society.  

Good luck to those of you still left!  I have no favorite in this group.  Janet probably would have been had she not cozied up to Dan and forgiven him.  Should be an interesting final night although I will bet any discussion of this incident is 100% edited out.  

Survivor: Whole Lotta Drama for Nothing!

Good Morning to you Survivor people still reading these updates!  We are down to the penultimate episode tonight I am guessing, and seriously someone should come running in with a chainsaw and just start getting people off the island.  Maybe Sandra?  

Let me first up say that I was WRONG about Sandra and Boston Rob because they have been the fresh air in this stale show.  Just like the two old dudes in the balcony at the muppets, they provide the humorous moments needed.  I say they should always get the catbird seat!!

Day 31 and BANG it's loved ones.  Who we got??

Lauren's husband, who is white (not that there's anything wrong with that)  and was it me?  Much younger than her? 

Tommy's girlfriend Nicole who doesn't know she's getting a ring in a few weeks.  Seems nice.

Krishma's husband, who we have heard much about and she seemed happy to see him.  She tells Jeff that it's the loneliness that can break you out there.

Noura's sister Lana (or as I call her, the pretty one) who calls her sister's insanity "Noura-mal".  Her handicap is visual unlike her sister, whose handicap is MENTAL.  

Janet's husband John comes in in a pink shirt as a sign that their new grandbaby is gonna be a girl.

Dean's mom Laurie

Dan's 13 year old son, Ryan.  And GOD KNOWS what that child is being taught about women..... I hear Harvey Weinstein also had children...

Elaine's girlfriend Tanya who has 2 children.  

The challenge is an old one, two survivors are tethered together and have to run out of the water, dig under a sandbar, somewhere along the line until sandbags and then land one on a table.  Jeff nicely brings Noura's sister down to the water so she can see what's happening.  

Teams:

Dan and Noura (screwed)

Lauren and Karishma (totally screwed)

Tommy and Janet

Dean and Elaine

Janet and Tommy win.  They get to pick 2 people and  chose Dan and Lauren.  Enraging everyone else.  

Karishma says it was a moment of clarity that they are the bottom.  Says they are gonna join together and put a wrecking ball on someone's game.  

At reward, which is food of course.  They've stopped doing good works like handing soccer balls out to poor tribal kids.  Janet says it is like as shot of energy and Tommy says his job is to get it done now.  

Shall we talk strategy?  Elaine?  Lauren says those 4 at home aren't with them.  Noura is "there, bitch" and Dean says that Elaine came back games blazing.  

Back on the island they bitch.  and Bitch.  Noura goes a bit wild complaining. Karishma gets all excited they might mean to include her.  Elaine tells her she might be getting a little sidetracked in her insanity.  

Dean says it scares him that Lauren has Tommy wrapped around her finger.  He says they are split 4-4, so they need another person or the idol.  

Everyone goes looking.  Karishma tells them it's blue so they're all looking for blue and Noura says she is using her 'reticular activating system".  Elaine finds the idol.  I personally was jumping for joy.  Noura says she always comes through! The game is gonna change today!

Immunity Challenge

Stand on a block on one foot and stabilize a ball over your head.  It comes down to Karishma, Dan, Elaine and Lauren and Lauren wins immunity.  

Janet suggests they split the vote Karishma 4, Elaine 3.  Janet tells Noura.  Noura tells Elaine and Karishma.  They decide all will go on Tommy.  Elaine points out Noura is a fruit loop and she goes into an endless spin trying to do the math that comes up with 4.  She says maybe they should do a 3-1 split in case Tommy has an idol.  Everyone tries to tell her 1 doesn't get anyone anything.  Dean tries to straighten her out and gives up.  

Lauren points out to Dan that Dean and Noura are missing.  Tommy says that Noura is the wild (and crazy) card.   ALL IT TAKES IS ONE MISTAKE.

Tribal

Janet says  the loved one moment was awesome

Behind her Dean tells Tommy he's getting 3 votes and everyone scrambles and talks to each other in groups.  I wish they would put an end to this bullshit.  Noura tells Tommy she needs to talk to him.  She them decides to blow it all up and says "Dean, I can't trust you.  You, Elaine and Karishma are all on the bottom".  I'll NEVER join you.

Elaine points out they were coming after her and splitting the vote.

Noura says she was gonna tell her...

Lauren asks her if she is considering the plan and she says she was.

Karishma says Noura was with them in the plan

Tommy says to Lauren that "she's a friggin liar and it all now makes sense"

Boston Rob correctly points out that Noura is crazy

Everyone sits down.  Noura says she didn't instigate it all, DEAN did.  

Tommy tells Jeff it's "Teaching Time with Tommy"

Vote.  Any idols?  Elaine plays hers.  

Noura gets 3 and Karishma gets 5.  And to quote Sandra, "All that to just vote out Karishma"?????

  

A Survivor Update!

Greetings and welcome back!  We have about 3 weeks left in this season and 8 people to get through to the SOLE SURVIVOR!  Who are you all thinking it will be? 

2 weeks ago we had a double whammy with the twin duo of meanness Aaron and Missy going home.  I’m surprised Missy didn’t cry discrimination as she made a big deal out of Jeff not commenting on the historic first of two African Americans with immunity idols in the same week.  Pretty sure it was one of the few times there has ever been two of any kind having immunity together this late in the game. 

So two weeks ago we had pitiful Karishma lamenting that she was a GOAT-and not the Patriots QB good kind of GOAT (that comment is for you Stacey!).  No, in Survivor land a GOAT is someone useless you bring along to the end so you can beat them.  Karishma is a GOAT.  But she was smart enough last week to get her ass out and find an idol!  FYI she is also a trial lawyer so don’t count her out if she is able to struggle through to the end. 

After finding the idol she stumbled back to camp in her and pretended to be lost and dehydrated, and Noura and Tommy who want her gone yesterday tried to get a medic called in to take her out.

So because we have way too many people at the end this season, we had a double elimination that week.  Teams actually split into 2 and had a challenge with 2 parts, each with a winner and each team to go to tribal.  The final 2 people left (it was the stand on a beam and roll a ball in a circle thingy challenge) went for PB&J for their team.  Noura won for her group but alas jumped off and forgot to go for PB&J.  Elaine won that and the right to go second for the two tribals. 

The losing tribe also went back to the old camp so they couldn’t discuss plans with the whole group.  Aaron hated being back there and was freaked to be without Missy and Eliz. The losing tribe was Dan, Dean, Lauren, Aaron, Noura and Janet.  

Noura realizes this is one of the few times they have a shot at th and wants him out. There’s some modest agreement but the testosterone twins, Dean and Dan, are afraid if they get rid of Aaron that moves them up to the top of the “threat” list.  Kinda like the naughty list but with muscles.  Dean wants Janet gone.  Dan, who had just patched the whole sexual harassment thing up and swept it under the mat, says he’s about 50/50 Janet or Aaron.

On the other side, eating PB&J are Missy, Tommy, Eliz, Elaine and Karishma.  Missy is all it’s time for Karishma….or is it?  She thinks she has time with her girl alliance (is that really a thing??) Missy wants to separate Lauren and Tommy because they are a pretty under the radar pairing.  Missy talks to Karishma-actually she talks AT her and tells her “everyone wants you but I want to go with Tommy” .  Karishma is feeling a bit flush with that idol in her bra strap and tells her “not just yet…I want to talk to everyone….”.  This enrages Missy and fuels Karishma who is tired of this 24 year old pushing her around.  This is the point in the movie where we are all supposed to cheer.  Missy keeps chasing her and trying to bully her and Karishma won’t listen. 

Karishma tells Elaine  that Missy is gunning for Tommy.  Elaine tells Tommy, or course.  Now Tommy is all in for Missy and now everyone wants Karishma’s vote. 

Missy tries to apologize to Karishma and tells her she’s only trying to get to the all girls alliance play time. 

Tribal 1:

First off I love Boston Rob and Sandra doing the commentary in the sky box like those old guys on Sesame Street.  BR points out that as soon as they sit down Dean is rolling his sleeves up to show off his “guns”. 

Dan says it was terrified to be split up but after people scrambled the target remains the same. 

Janet says she’s at the bottom so that comment is obv directed at her. 

Dean says that it’s concerning to not have his people with him. 

Aaron points out, in case anyone hadn’t noticed, that this is the first time he has been without an immunity idol in a while and it’s an opportunity to see if his alliances hold up.

Aaron also says that they are a group of people working together to accomplish what we want.  How true…

Noura says basically “and yet shit happens and I lost Jack…”

Janet says that she talked to everyone and hopes they see her way. 

Time to vote…

Janet gets one vote and Aaron gets all of the rest!  BR says “told you so!!”

Aaron goes straight over to the jury and the next tribal comes in.  Missy and Eliz are shockced!

Eliz says her heart is beating fast. Aaron was her #1 person.

Missy says that’s not how the jury should look. 

Elaine tells Jeff they all were sneaky splitting them up.

Eliz says there was chaos today but she is good with her plan.

Missy starts bagging on Karishma saying she was “bad today”

Karishma points out that Missy wouldn’t let it go and tried to escalate the argument

 Missy gets all huffy that Karishma called her a bully and says that’s not who she is.

Sandra points out that there clearly isn’t room for both of them.

Jeff asks if they are just too different to get along

Tommy says that they just both view things differently.

Eliz thought they bridged their gap but Missy tells Karishma that although everyone wants her gone because she lies, she would LOVE to work with her.

Vote:  Idols?  Nope

Tommy gets 2 votes and Missy gets enough to join her buddy Aaron on the jury!  On the way out Tommy tells her he knew she was coming after him, Elaine tells her “I did what I had to do” and takes credit for it all, Missy tells Elizabeth she has to kill Elaine, and tells Karishma “I was keeping you to the end”. 

Sandra sums it up: Everyone is keeping her to the end!

And now last week…..

The first tribe doesn’t know what happened at the second tribal.  Lauren is all nervous that everyone is gonna align against Tommy.  She can’t believe Missy is gone.  GET OUT!!!

Karishma is happy because her top 2 targets went home and she still has her idol.  Eliz is devastated that her whole alliance is gone.  Elaine tells her that now maybe she can build relationships on her own. 

Tommy is happy.  He, Lauren and Dean talk.  Dean wants Karishma-he’s wanted her gone for ever. He says “Here comes the GOAT army”.  Karishma is the #1 GOAT, and then Noura is the #1 GOAT and everyone else is a target.  C’mon, Lauren is totally also a GOAT, am I right??  Dean thinks the goats are gonna rise up and take down Tommy, him and Eliz.  Tommy subscribes to the Goat Army but also thinks Eliz has to go. 

In comes the IoI boat.  They have to send someone and and it has to be unanimous OR they need to draw names.  Karishma wants to go but before she can say anything Lauren volunteers.

Can we talk about what a bust IoI has been??  Why doesn’t anyone get curious that nobody seems to  come back with any info or idols??

BR and Sandra are sitting around with a chicken.  Sandra apparently isn’t a fan of the chicken who knows it and bites her finger so she will drop her papaya because they are still pretending BR and Sandra are still ruffing it and not cooking with gas on a premier Viking stove back behind the “snug”. 

Lauren is all OMGOOOOOOD!  They go to the snug and ask her how she is doing and she tells them although she isn’t an athlete she is good at the social game.  BR tells her she is there for a lesson in situational analysis.  He tells her she has an opportunity to win immunity by predicting who will win immunity next time.  He asks her if she can predict it.  She tells him that although she knows the tribe she has only a one in nine chance of getting it right.  He tells her what the challenge is-they have to stand on stations and hold a bar up to keep a ball from falling.  He also tells her it’s an eat of play challenge with a breakfast option, and apparently IHOP didn’t come through with the marketing money so no commercials today.   

He and she work through who all would chose to eat due to hunger or knowing they can’t win the challenge. That leaves her with Noura, who is a vegan and doesn’t eat food, or Eliz who feels threatened.  BR them offers her the choice to pick 2 people in exchange for winning immunity and she goes for it. 

Back at camp, Dean is playing with his fake legacy advantage that Jamal apparently left.  It’s good for when there are 9 or 7 people left.  For some reason he uses the Michaels idol faking craft table and makes a fake of the fake to use.  I totally don’t get this although he thinks the original one IS real. 

Lauren tells them that she learned what the next challenge is and that there is a chose to eat instead option.  She tells Tommy the truth and they work on everyone but Noura and Eliz to get them to chose the eat option. 

Immunity Challenge.  Jeff explains it and then uncovers breakfast and nobody reacts.  He’s all “wait did I lost my skills?”  Lauren tells him they may have had a tip there was going to be food.  Everyone BUT Eliz, Noura and Karishma chose to eat.  Karishma as expected drops first and is all upset. She tells Jeff that she promised herself that she would always try but her body keeps letting her down. 

Eliz drops and Noura wins immunity and tries to stand there holding the bar letting people eat longer but Jeff tells her it doesn’t work that way. 

Back at camp people start talking about it being Eliz.  Tommy and Dan are all in for her going.  Dan tells Elaine he’ll go with Eliz.  He’d rather Karishma but he’s not going to damage his game for it. 

Eliz tells Noura that she blew it.  Noura tells her to keep fighting. 

Karishma is dizzy again.  Noura grabs her bag and she and Eliz go through it looking for an idol.  They don’t find it because it’s still stuck in her bra. 

Dan tells her they are splitting the vote Eliz and Janet but the real plan is now Eliz and Karishma.

Karishma is sitting with Eliz and talking to her and Lauren is sitting nearby reading lips.  She tells Dan that she just heard Karishma tell her it’s Dan so Dan sidles up and says “did you just say MY name??”  Dan is now enraged and wants Karishma gone NOW.  Dean is all “that’s music to my ears”. 

Tribal

Jeff asks why people didn’t eat.

Eliz says she competed because she lost her alliance and knows she is on the chopping block. 

Karishma says she knows she is on the bottom and wanted to challenge herself.

Noura says she felt strong and wanted to step up so the team could eat that nasty shit.

Jeff says, so 6 people felt safe?  And Dan says YEP, he believes in his alliance.

Karishma points out it’s now an individual game and someone could slit your throat. 

Tommy says some people needed the pitstop to get to the end of the game.

Dean says he was in a peculiar situation because he has a legacy idol.

Lauren says it’s important to navigate through all of the relationships but everyone has their own priority list.

Tommy says it’s never easy getting 8 people to agree.

Elaine says you just have to pick a core group and roll with them.  “I’m gonna roll with them or roll the fuck home”

Time to vote.  Idols?

Dean plays the fake legacy idol and Jeff tells him it’s fake. 

Karishma plays her idol and everyone is all WHAAAAA???  BR and Sandra are all YESSSSS!

Lauren plays her idol.

Karishma gets 7 votes but is safe.  Janet and Eliz both get a vote so they revote just for those two and finally, Eliz goes home. 

Sandra: It’s all well and good until someone plays an idol!