Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Survivor: Pre Finale!

And here we are.  The last update before the finale.  And a 2 hour episode which is one of the many many many things right now that are frosting my ass.  Fortunately it was only an hour and 45 minutes episode, with a 15 minute recap of the season.  So, in case you turned in thinking you were going to watch one of the 20 versions of NCIS, or CSI or whatever CBS has on every freaking night, and instead you found yourself in the penultimate episode of Survivor, and you thought, "hmmm, how can I get all caught up on this season of a show I haven't given enough shits to watch, so that I can blow 3 hours next week watching the finale??"  You were in luck.  And, IF THERE IS A GOD, please let this mean we don't have to endure the "walk of loser torches" where the final 3 or 4 pretend to remember half of the people thrown off and try to say something nice about them.  "Oh, I remember Judy, she was the one with the nervous nose picking tic and no social skills who we just had to get rid of first."  

We begin with Denise being ALL DONE.  So done that she wants to get 2 tattoos, one on each wrist, that say "Endure" and "Let's Go".  Note to Mark Burnett-how about including basic tattoo gear in that "sponsored  by Michaels" craft kit everyone seems to be playing with this season.  Seriously, a prison-like Survivor tat could become the next B celebrity badge of honor.  

Jeremy the fireman and Tony the policeman are busting on each other.  Jeremy says "we have a week left", and Tony says no, we have 9 days.  9 days is 2 weeks.  Jeremy-no, 9 days is a week.  Jesus, but a 2 hour episode of this during a quarantine is like a fucking eternity!!  Tony finally tells Jeremy, "you work hard, I work smart".  Tony says that Jeremy is a number for him and he wants to keep him because he is still obsessing over the hyenas taking over.  

Sarah and Tony again pledge their support for Cops R Us, and reminisce how they disliked each other for 6 years.  Which again is why this season pisses me off with all of the back stories.  

Somber Ben, Sarah and Tony all swear final 3 alliance.  I wonder which one, Sarah or Tony, will stab the other first instead of going up against each other.  Would be smart.  Sarah says that Ben is obsessed with Jeremy going home, which would leave Sarah and Tony as sitting ducks.  Sarah tries to convince Ben that getting rid of Nick first is a better option.  She realizes that Ben needs to feel like he's "gotten a turn" picking who goes off so she tries to shift him to wanting either Nick or Michelle to go.  5 minutes later, Ben asks Tony "what about Nick going?"  Boing!  Sarah is a crafty cop.  Ben says he has Denise in his pocket and they have to navigate the 50/50 coin and any idols.  

Challenge:  Immunity and 2 fire tokens.  Shoot balls into a basket on a track, get the ball at the other end, dig and go under a pole, slide puzzle.  Nick unfortunately wins immunity.  Michelle is crying because she didn't get one ball in.  

Denise wonders who plan B is???  

Ben says that didn't go right.  Sarah suggests Denise as plan B.  Denise is Ben's friend and "one of his numbers".  He decides to create distrust between Michelle and Jeremy.  He asks Jeremy if he could borrow back that 50/50 coin from Michelle.  Jeremy tells Nick that they're saying it's Denise but he thinks it's a smoke screen because it's never an easy vote.  He tells him that Ben wants him to get the 50/50 coin from Michelle.

Meanwhile, Ben tells Michelle that he bets Jeremy will ask her for the coin.  And like all good editing, we next see Jeremy asking Michelle for the coin.  But he tells her that Ben asked him to do it and they agree that Ben is playing both sides.  

Jeremy approaches Nick and Tony and suggests Ben.  They agree but Tony has no interest in it.  He says that their best game is with Ben.  Nick, Ben and Tony agree to split between Jeremy and Michelle.  Sarah asks if Nick is secure because she doesn't trust him.  

Nick says there are 2 plans Jeremy vs Ben.  He's in the "power position" which is hilarious because he's really such an impotent player.  He says he's making his decision based on day 39.

Tribal
Michelle-thank you Jeff for stating the obvious today that I struggled.  She says she is trying to persevere.  
Ben says they aren't really putting on different personas because they are hungry and tired.
Sarah says that as a cop she can never hesitate no matter hunger or tired.  She has to enter every situation confident and in charge.  She says IT'S DIFFERENT THIS SEASON WITH FRIENDS.  (Thank you for stating the reason in a nutshell this season bugs me).
Nick says that his season people are more truthful which leaves the door open for a non truthful person.  Ok, maybe Jeff actually said this, he tends to monopolize the psychobabble at tribal.  Nick kind of half assed agrees.  

Jeremy agrees that this season is more personal.  
Ben says it's been an emotional and tactical war
Michelle says it is going to be hard after this season because people she is friends with have had to lie to her.  She says after the game her guard is always high for a while (but not high enough to not sleep with Wendell apparently)
Ben says after his first season he had trust issues with him wife.  
Jeremy says he wasn't right for 3 months after his season so he wants to have more fun this time.
Nick agrees that it takes a toll and he his playing more social strategies this season.

Tony thankfully changes the subject by answering a question about the decision is which soldiers one wants to move forward with.
Jeremy says everyone has their group
Sarah points out that there is still the 50/50...
Michelle says she expects the coin to be played on it's last night
Tony says "tonight we are making our beds".  Jesus help me.
Denise says she doesn't know if she's safe.  

Jeff points out that there is no chaos this tribal.  He almost seems disappointed.  

Vote.  Any?  Michelle says she should just play the 50/50.  Jeremy is giving her the big PICK ME! stare but she plays it for herself.  SAFE.  She does a little end zone dance and asks if she can keep it for a souvenir. Jeff tells her to bid for it on ebay like everyone else.  

Michelle 2
Ben 2
Jeremy 4....."Bad move, dude....."

Back at the ranch later, Ben is ecstatic!  "We both took out shots feels fantastic!!"  He tells Tony "I appreciate it man, I never had an ally on the seasons I played".  Tony is also thrilled because he's been on the top all along.  He wants Michelle next because "you don't keep a goat".  

Nick talks to Michelle.  M: "I was wondering if you would have the balls to talk to me..."  She wants to know what his great plan now that they don't have the numbers and are on the bottom.  He says he wants to see Ben go next and she reminds him that there is no path for that now.  Michelle says she needs to find an avenue to stay in.  It's "sassy" Michelle time.  She doesn't trust anyone and is willing to throw things up against the wall. 

At the craft table she tells Sarah that she has no strategy and she's gone.  But she reminds Sarah that it's one thing to get to the end and another to win.  She tells her that no one can beat Tony, the jury knows who is running the show but her door is always open if Sarah wants to change course.  

Sarah runs off and tells everyone what Michelle said, saying she's trying to pit her against Tony and she needs to go!  

On Edge they are eating their little mini scoops of rice.  Jeremy already hates the place.  Says all night he was thinking about what he did to deserve it.  

Tree mail- it's a clue about sitting on a throne, and everyone runs off.  Natalie finds it because she knows every inch of the island.  Tyson calls her the queen of Exile.  

She gets the advantage which is an opportunity to place a disadvantage on someone in the next immunity challenge.  $$  to give someone the power to use it against someone.  Natalie has to decide who to sell it to for the maximum number of tokens.    She sells it to Nick for 8 tokens.  He only has 6 so he has to pull someone in.  He knows Tony has none so he approaches Michelle.  She tells him she has 2 and asks what the advantage it.  She tells him "let's cause some chaos".  

They decide to play it on Ben which doesn't really make sense to me since he has never won a challenge.  The challenge is to stack blocks on a beam in a dominoes form and then knock them down to hit a gong.  Ben gets a longer beam.  Winner gets immunity and 2 fire tokens, and it's the last day to spend the tokens.  

Nick is thinking that if Ben loses immunity they can cause chaos.  Michelle ends up just beating out Ben, even with his longer beam and I have to admit it was a good choice.  As Jeff is putting the necklace on Michelle she points out that no one is clapping.  "Notice that, Jeff?"  She tells him today in particular everyone was all "it doesn't matter who wins as long as it's not Michelle".  Ben asks Jeff if he can know who the disadvantage came from and Jeff tells him "nope".  


Back at camp, Denise announces that with Michelle pulling it out she is no doubt on the block tonight.  She says she's OK with it but that she would like to use her giant bagful of tokens to buy rice for dinner before she goes to Exile.  She buys the rice but the plan is actually Nick.  Ben says his gameplan is now Nick but they're telling Michelle and Nick that it's Denise.  

Nick thinks he is a genius.  Wonders if he can get Tony on board with Ben.  Nick points out to Tony that Nick won his season by basically making fire faster, and Tony isn't a bit fire person.  This sticks in Tony's head.  

Aaand, the Spy Nest is open for business.  Denise, Sarah and Ben are talking.  Denise tells them that while she anticipates that those 2 are a solid 3 with Tony, that Tony is a strong choice with the jury.  That's all Tony has to hear and he's all DENISE HAS TO GO.  Tony talks to Michelle and asks her if they should all just go with Denise since she is offering her self up.  He says he has to talk to Sarah.   Michelle says it is now all back on Denise.  

Tony talks to Sarah who agrees Denise is a good option.  Sarah points out that Nick has a good underdog story.  They decide this is the biggest vote yet.

Tribal
Michelle says she is very much on the bottom and no one would strategize with her.  '
Sarah says that % when you think you are safe you need to work harder
Ben says that the extra 30% of beam cost him immunity. He still doesn't know where the disadvantage came from.
Nick says they are all at the point of choosing who you want to take with you. 
Sarah says something about managing your fire tokens and I still don't really think they have been very effective
Michelle says she is always surprised when people leave her tokens. Says they are priceless, and I'm thinking the word she is looking for is valueless.  

Jeff asks about the fear of who is coming back into the game
Ben says it's wery wery scary
Tony says something about trusting they make the right decision tonight
Denise says there aren't a ton of choices and points out that she bought everyone rice.
Nick says it's always surprising when someone like Denise feel they are done
Denise says she doesn't want to go buy she can only do so much and can't keep doing the cat and mouse.  
Adam on the jury says he thinks this is a fakeout
Nick says whatever the game hands you, you take it and move forward.  

Vote.  Idol? Nope
Denise 2
Nick 5.  "well done you guys".

UGH and there's a freaking half hour of the show left.  On exile it's time for everyone to do their long winded goodbyes.  Amber is especially sad because she's going to miss life being so simple and having a shit load of time to sit around with an unshaven, unwashed, gross breath husband but LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW it's all coming up soon in quarantine! 

IT NOW TIME TO BATTLE!  Well, not now but next week.  It's apparently the last day on Exile and everyone gets to settle up and buy their advantages.  Rob already has an immunity he bought last time that is "still good", Everyone that can is buying advantages.  Natalie who is basically the Rockefeller of Exile has a handful of tokens and spends them on peanut butter, the maximum 3 advantages, an idol for her and an idol for her new friend Tyson.  Tyson says that generosity is rare but if he gets in he is winning!

Good luck everyone!!!  


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