Welcome back!! Season 41 begins with Jeff telling us how tough this season is going to be. No rice, DANGEROUS twists, a beware advantage and penalties for losing. There are 3 small tribes and the game is only 26 days long. We begin on a barge and the tribes have to find their oars, jump off the boat and paddle out to get the one flint. Only one tribe wins. Jeff is seen shoving an idol (or an advantage) into a tree and says there is one on each beach.
Sounds simple? The yellow group (which is called UA) never finds one of their paddles so no flint for them. Even more embarrassing, the blue tribe (called Luvu) never unhooks their anchor so they're paddling and going nowhere while the green(Yase??) tribe paddles out and gets flint.
Somehow they all get to the beach with Jeff, and apparently the top issue this season is whether or not Jeff should use the term "COME ON IN GUYS". Everyone is all "whatever dude that's the least of our problems". Jeff then explains that the cargo ship with all of the props is stuck back in LA so, no rice and they only get 1 pot, a machete and a flint this season. And then we begin to get to know these people and what pathetic story they've used to get on the show this season (side note- at this point my husband said, "Christ, it's just like the Olympics". Sara is about 12 and her grandmother died on COVID, Brad is a cattle rancher and HIS dad did of cancer a week before the show. I'm sure we have a million more stories to come..... But let's meet everyone first:
Green Tribe, UA
Brad-Cattle rancher. This is my loser and I'm already hoping for an alternate. This dude has ZERO personal skills.
Genie is a grocery clerk, which explains why she'd do anything to get out of that high stress COVID job for a month. She tells this story about how she's gay and when she told her mom her mom gave her a diamond to go get married to her partner. I have zero hope for her lasting either.
JD announces that he spent a month making fire and I stood up and cheered. Finally!! JD says he was a short skinny kid growing up bullied and wants to be Ozzy or Wu. Claims he wouldn't be "the guy" without Survivor.
Ricardo is a flight attendant. Again, another COVID hell job that makes sitting on a beach getting your balls bitten look good. He tells some story about meeting his partner who is currently trans and pregnant (I think that's what he said) and they have an adopted kid or two?
Sara is young. I didn't learn much else about her. LOL
Shantel is the meanest pastor you could ever meet. Not sure what kind of a church she has but it's scary.
Yellow Tribe (Yase or some shit)
Abraham (his name is actually Eric and he totally threw me for a loop when we started because I thought I hadn't assigned him to anyone. He's 51 and a cyber security guy. I feel like there are a lot of older people this season.
Evvie is a nerdy PhD student who is either going to be gone early or who will be there at the end IMO.
Liana is another college student. I'm wondering if they got zoom time to go to class. She is totally under the radar I think.
Voce is another one who can't go by his own friggin name. I had him a David. He's a neurosurgeon and I'm really curious how this is going to work since also in my opinion these are the worst doctors. He's also a short guy which probably means a bit of napoleon going on.
Tiffany is a teacher who is probably also happy to be on Survivor and out of the whole zoom school thing. Her sad story is being on of the first to have a pre-emptive double mastectomy and c'mon who else looked at her breasts when she said that? SPEAKING OF WHICH, Jesus Christ I know last spring we couldn't all go shopping for new sports bras but man, this season has the worst batch of ugly bras I've ever seen!!
Xander really is Ozzy 2.0. He's 21 and an "app developer".
Blue Tribe (Luvu)
Danny-ex-NFL player who spent the pandemic rewatching old Survivor seasons.
Deshawn is NOT an NFL player but is a medical student
Erika-is tough little thing
Heather is a 52 year old stay at home mom.
Naseer is a sales manager and is as swarmy as you would expect a sales manager to be.
Sydney is a law student who has been to 49 countries and wears a lacy bra.
Ok, so first thing they get to when they get to their beaches is a challenge- "Savvy or sweat". They can either solve one of those FB type "how many triangles do you see" puzzles or two people can fill 2 barrels of water-carrying it a distance- with an hourglass giving them a max of 4 hours. They only get one guess on the triangle thing. If they fail either challenge they get no supplies until the immunity challenge.
On yellow, the neurosurgeon Voce is against the water thing because it will spit the tribe and allow 2 people to bond but he knows he'll look like a weeny if he says no. So he ends up doing it with Eric I think. Voce cramps up doing it and is basically a whiney bitch. Back at camp, Liana and Evvie bond. Evvie is Haaaavard PhD candidate studying genetics. Abraham has already decided he needs a "fall guy" and talks up getting rid of Tiffany because she jumped into the water at the barge without getting any oars.
Blue has Deshawn and Danny unsurprisingly do the water thing. "We're too dumb to count triangles". D and D decide to take a break in the middle of getting water to look around for idols. Naseer catches them looking around and runs back like a bitch and tells everyone left at camp what he say. Then he says "Let's all be final 4". LOL. You always know who is most insecure of their abilities when they want to commit immediately.
I literally have no idea who did the water thing on the green tribe. No idea why I have no notes. LOL. The whole challenge was a massive waste of time because even the guys who went idol searching managed to finish in the 4 hours. JD and Sara did manage to find time to bond over being young. JD wants to play a social game and "get to know people". He talks to Ricardo who tells him "you and me dude" but then tells the camera that JD is "here to play" and is untrustworthy. Shan, Sara and Ricardo agree about JD. Shan tells everyone she's with them and is working everyone.
Xander tells one of the D's about Naseer saying they were looking for an idol so, HE NEEDS TO GO.
Each beach gets a boat visitor and a note saying "1 person has to get on the boat". Danny volunteers for blue, Xander for yellow and the Green tribe pulls rocks out of a bag and JD is chosen. Sara says "all of us wanted to go". JD is worried about what happens on camp while he is away.
They all meet up on the boats and it's all "w'sup BRO?" They all, of course, brag about what sport they excelled at-Danny says he played for LSU, JD was a track star and Xander, the app developer is like, um, I played some recreational sports and you KNOW it was hackysak or Wii bowling. So they get dropped off at an island and have to walk to the summit where there is a sign saying "you will now separate and make a private decision". They climb back down and come upon a ships wheel. "protect your vote or risk your vote". They all have to decide independently and secretly. If they al decide to protect their vote there's no danger. If they all pick risk, they all lose their votes. But it if's a split decision, those that pick risk get an extra vote while those that pick protect lose their votes. I think that's the dealeo. Everyone instantly says OH IT'S THE PIRATES DILEMMA but I have no idea what that means. Xander thinks JD and Danny are going to play hard. Danny says he's picking protect because he doesn't want to risk their loyalty.
They return to camps and of course everyone knows they had a chance for some advantage and since they're not holding a bag of rice, most assume they have an advantage or an idol. On yellow Xander tells them the truth about what happened and says he risked it. Evvie thinks that was a smart choice. Yellow seems to believe Xander. Danny on blue also tells what happened and that he chose protect. Heather at least believes him. JD sits down and tells them what happened in a dramatic way and tells them to go through his bag. He tells the story like he's a big hero and that 2 people had to pick the same for it to happen, and that he picked protect. He thinks he "sold it well". Ricardo though doesn't believe him.
OMFG clearly Mark Burnett needs to make up for lost revenue because the number of commercials is ridiculous!!!
Immunity Challenge: COME ON IN GUYS!!
Ricardo says, "um, about that Jeff", He says the world had changed and he thinks Jeff shouldn't be using "guys" which is TOTAL WOKE BULLSHIT. lol. Prove me wrong. Jeff is like, 'I KNOW, RIGHT?? I'M SO TOTALLY WOKE AND WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW IT!!" Jeff says "guys" is gone and now everyone on twitter is going to be saying "he caved" but I was on twitter and people were talking mostly talking about the HALLOWEEN CHALLENGE over on the food network. COME ON IN!!
Ok, so there's another new thing called the "shot in the dark" dice where you would have a 1/6 chance to be safe at tribal but have no vote. Everyone gets one.
So the challenge is typical- race over and under obstacles to a sled and bring sandbags to somewhere, and then carry puzzle pieces on the sled up to a tower, then do the puzzle. First tribe gets immunity and the 2 losers go to tribal (now aren't you glad we have 4 alternates??
And let me call bullshit right off the bat because the blue tribe has one sandbag fall off the pile and Jeff doesn't notice right away but then sends them back to start again. Seriously I don't know if these tribes were randomly chosen but they are really unbalanced. They yellow tribe is just old, fat, skinny and not real bright people EVEN with a haaaaavard PhD candidate.
Yellow is just bad and out of it from the get go. Green leaves a puzzle piece in their bag and can't figure the puzzle out while blue swoops in and wins immunity. Aaaand, let the backbiting begin!!
Yellow- Liana and Tiffany want to take out Abraham. The men all want to get rid of Tiffany. Lil Voce says "physical is important". Abraham tells everyone "when WE get rid of Tiffany we'll be better". He tells Evvie. Evvie tells Voce to not underestimate Abraham and pushes for keeping Tiffany because she'd be "loyal". Evvie tells Tiffany that Abraham is saying her name but that he's the only one. Tiffany says she's confident but she goes out looking for an idol. And, c'mon, how big is this beach because she's looking RIGHT WHERE JEFF PUT AN IDOL. She doesn't find it.
On green, Sara is crying because the puzzle in the bag was apparently her error. Ricardo is thinking Sara or JD. He tells Genie that he's worried about JD being Ozzy. Ricardo also tells Shan. Brad tactfully says Sara or Shan right in front of Sara.
Tribal
Yellow YO, GET YOUR FIRE WHICH IS YOUR LIFE
Tiffany says this is a cohesive, harmonious tribe that loves each other.
Abraham goes right to "with only 6 people strength is important"
Tiffany says Abraham talks in circles. Says come the merge (Jesus it's week 1!!) he'll bond with people
Abraham says I BRING THE STAMINA!!
Evvie says challenge strength is important
Voce says there is a 16.7% chance of the shot in the dark working and it's not great odds.
Xander says they've gotten a taste of loss but that this is a strong tribe.
Evvie says after the vote they'll be more cohesive.
Vote- and Xander gets an extra vote to be used before the last 6. Tiffany gets one vote and Abraham is blindsided!
Green YO GET YOUR FIRE WHICH IS YOUR LIFE
Shan says they're all full of joy and they have fire and shelter
Ricardo says it's all kumbaya and Chill
Brad says they'd give their pot to stay
Shan says that when JD showed up without rice they knew he had an idol.
JD says he told them what his decision was.
Sara says she's skeptical. She points out that she was ahead with the puzzle until the missing piece
Shan tells her there is no room for error
JD is answering a question and that whole uproar and talking during tribal thing breaks out.
Sara is asking Ricardo and Shan what she should do, says Brad threw her name out to her face.
Ricardo tells JD to vote Brad. JD tells Shan that's a bad idea. Everyone is talking and Shan tells Sara not to do the dice. Shan whispers into JD's ear.
Brad, who is kinda clueless, says I thought we were all tight! He asks, CAN WE JUST VOTE??
Vote. JD gets the extra vote advantage.
Ricardo gets one vote, Brad gets one vote and Sara is first off the green tribe!
Whew. I totally hate 2 hour shows!!! And I'm not proofreading this so apologies in advance.
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