How many advantages and idols and steal a votes and lose a votes does it take to make it seem like this show has jumped the shark? At one point I asked my husband-is this a new advantage or is this the original advantage and he just shook his head.
So, Liana is crying because, I don't know. Hungry? She knows she fucked up by aligning herself with Tiffany? She says she came here to play and wants to be a good player. Try harder Li.
Tiffany declares she wasn't even going to get up today (why do I think she ways this EVERY day of her miserable life?) but she does and WHAT A COINCIDENCE she finds the beware idol. Of course she doesn't notice it has the word BE-FUCKING-WARE on it, nor does Evvie and Liana who happen to see her find it. Tif wasn't even going to share it with her alliance. It tells her she has to sneak onto a boat tonight, go to another island and make a decision. LOL, I'll let y'all guess which part of that will be the hardest for her. Liana thinks not finding that note might have been her million dollar mistake.
Braaaaaad is trying to sleep but all of the kids are up early and laughing, playing the social game. Brad gets up like a hungover dad on a Saturday morning and immediately begins to do chores. So of course he finds the second beware advantage, and knowing he already lost his vote because of the last one he just rips that sucker right open. Wooohaaa, he's loving the game and all of the risks!
Sydney is sleeping and Naseer stands next to her and then tells her that Danny has to go. I'm not sure which annoys her, being woken up by a creepy guy or the fact that he wants to get rid of Danny. Sydney runs and tells everyone which always goes down well. Naseer gets the Spidey sense he screwed the pooch on that one and apologizes to the tribe. Sydney is done with him, having learned how to make fire and how to be a sales manager (I am 1000% sure he sells Verizon packages), and she wants him gone. She's looking down as smoke is coming out of her ears and she sees the advantage package. She opens it and is now scared of the challenge.
JD is looking all over for an idol (are there regular idols? I can't seem to remember) and he says they are all hard to find. He thinks maybe SOMEONE HAS ALREADY FOUND IT and then he thinks MAYBE RICARDO FOUND IT, or SHAN. Ricardo does find the original BEWARE advantage with Genie standing by. They read it and realize that Brad has the other one due to his crazy comments about butterflies.
Shan is looking for an idol using a map and I'm like THERE ARE MAPS NOW??? Do they have the ice machine listed on them?? Brad feels bad that Shan is still looking for an idol so he tells her about the ones he has. She thinks, hmmmm should we keep him? Apparently these tribes sleep on the beach without any shelter and man all I can think of is the bugs and shit that must crawl up your underwear. He builds a fake body and sneaks away. The other 2 girls also sneak away with a camera crew and a boat.
Once they arrive they have a similar choice, but this time for a tarp or a steal a vote advantage. If all pick tarp, all get nothing. If all pick steal, they lose votes. If they split it the steal person gets to steal. I think that's right. It tells them to act quickly to get back to camp before they're discovered. Brad and Sydney tell Tiffany she probably needs to do tarp because there are only 4 people left she can't risk a lost vote. Tiffany is all WHO SAYS I CAN'T RISK IT?? What do we want to do, play safe or PLAY SURVIVOR! Let's ROLL THE DICE!! Brad also wants to roll the dice and thinks there's no reward without risk. Sydney doesn't trust Tiffany as far as she can throw her (spoiler, not far) and then Tiffany is not sure about her Animal House LETS DO IT speech, and she doesn't trust Sydney.....
The next day, Tiffany gets nothing. Sydney gets nothing, and hence Brad gets to steal another vote.
Immunity Challenge. Jeff asks HOW ARE WE DOING, and if you've been on twitter lately he better watch his pronouns. Genie says WE GOT NO RICE DUDE. Ricardo says broccoli are just little trees thing and Xander says his butterflies speech. I think it's Ricardo but I'm completely confused now. Apparently there are only 2 people for this 3 way advantage.
Challenge is for immunity and for a fruit plate left over from Jeff's complementary VIP fruit basket at the Fiji Hilton. It's a swim out, climb up, do a rope bridge, dig up sandbags and then throw them on little platforms. Tiffany of course takes forever pulling her fat ass over the rope thing BUT she is the first to land a sandbag. Blue wins first immunity and amazingly enough Yellow wins second. Maybe Voce was the missing link.
Green has to go to tribal. Brad is all against JD because he has oversold himself as Ozzy. JD leaves to shit in the shallow poop pond but when he comes back it's clear he has something in his pants- get your minds outta the gutter it's his advantage. Ricardo and Shan catch it and he is forced to admit to hit. Shan doesn't trust him now and tells Ricardo they need to vote him out. Ricardo thinks JD is a snake but now he's indebted to them. Brad isn't trustworthy. JD grovels to Shan that he's sorry and says he wants to play with them. To prove his loyalty he offers Shan his steal a vote, or extra vote or whatever this one is. She tells him he can have it back when he's not grounded. She nows JD is now in her pocket BUT she also wants to vote with Brad.
OK, Shan tells this story about how when she was 5 she had to decide which of her divorcing parent she wanted to live with and that is JUST SO DAMN WRONG AND TRAUMATIC. Jesus Christ why would you ever put that Sophie's Choice type of decision on a child?? Sorry but that just upset me.
Tribal
Shan says it's sad to lose
JD says yellow kicked their ass. He was SURE he would kill it with the sandbags.
Jeff says some crap about alliance vs strength and Ricardo says he's leaning more towards alliance than strength.
Jeff says, wow, someone must have lied to Ricardo.
Genie says he's never trusted me since the first tribal when I wrote his name down
Brad says that you have to trust someone in this game
JD says that he knows he lost people's trust and he gives some speech about a crystal and dropping your crystal, which isn't some stupid line he has to day for an advantage but some "deep thoughts by JD"
Shan says that sometimes when you drop a crystal YOU BREAK IT but I think crystals are pretty strong. Sellman, you wanna weigh in here?
JD says he's heartbroken but says that in the long run things would be worse without him
Brad says what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and while I would agree I once had a coffee mug with that on it and I dropped it and that fucker EXPLODED into a million pieces so, dunno .
JD gives his SURVIVOR SAVED ME AND MADE ME WHOLE speech says Ozzy and Wu made him who he is today and is why he wears his hair like Ozzy and why he wears his pucca necklace (as did every one of us over 55 years old). And Jeff is all sad that no one wants to be him.
Jeff says that's the kind of enthusiasm is why it's hard to snuff a torch and why we keep throwing idols at people who have the right look and story.
Personally it's all blah blah blah because ALL I WANT TO KNOW is if Karen and I are going to get Xander-the last alternate.
Vote-any idols, advantages or sexual bribes? No? Genie you sure?
JD gets one vote but BRAD GETS VOTED OFF and Karen and I are in XANDERLAND!!!!!!!
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