Gigolo Pop Survivor

 Yea there was no update last week.  This is a really busy time for me.  In fact if I could have a volunteer or two this season that would be great!!

 

So here's that update:

Some stuff happened.  

There was a challenge that had a puzzle

There was an ad for the Love Boat, which is a romantic game show not the cute show with B-level stars in amusing love plots.  ASK ME HOW I KNOW.  lol.

The bead thing came up and Lindsay was able to trade beads and got an idol.

Nneke was voted off surprising no one that has watched it happen over and over.  

So this week....

Cody says its SHOWTIME.  

Gab is creepy and is going around putting palm frond blankets on people and I swear to got if anyone ever woke me up by doing that there would be fucking hell to pay. Gab and Elie are clashing.

Reward challenge

One person uses sandbags to knock blocks and, unusual twist, then uses 2 of the blocks to "walk" down the lane and then they all get to land sandbags on 3 swings.  Wanna know?  10 fish are delivered and then the winning tribe gets to stead ONE ITEM from a tribe of their choice.  

Cody is on fire for the red tribe and they win reward.  They ask Jeff if they can trade for another reward and he lets them trade for the fruit and toolkit reward.  Dwight thinks that's a bad idea.  Jesse wonders what choice would get them the most advantage.  Cody says ITS WAR MAN.  Noelle says they need to think long term.  

Cody goes to the blue tribe I think because they have more people but I can't remember why.  Blue didn't think it would be them.  He comes in all salesmanny and says the group wants to take their machete.  Lindsay says they'll retaliate and Cody is all "I'm just the messenger I'm sure we can make a deal".  He ends up getting fishing gear AND lime and this rule follower was annoyed because they just rolled over and gave MORE THAN ONE ITEM.  Karla doesn't trust him and thinks they got played.

Immunity Challenge

Something something and a giant standing puzzle.  Red gets it first and then they help yellow figure it out.  Blue is pissed they were working together.  Cassidy says the losers are uniting, and Lindsay wants revenge.  

Ryan says he trusts James and Geo.  They decide on Cassidy.  Geo feels like he's "calling the shots".  

Cassidy things Geo is getting too big for his britches  and is getting on her nerves.  She tells Lindsay it's Geo, and she tells Karla and James it's Geo putting James in a bit of a pickle.  

Geo asks Lindsay if she's heard his name and Lindsay realizes she's ONLY heard his name and goes OFF OF THE RAILS paranoid.  She believes she is the BEST PLAYER OF SURVIVOR HISTORY so naturally she should be the biggest threat and the person that should be the target.  Karla and James are all  WHOOOOOOAAAAA. That bitch is paranoid as a kid on his first drug trip.  James wants to talk her down but Karla says that would be like telling your drunk friend to stop drinking and I'm like, YUP EXACTLY..  

Tribal.  Get fire,  yada yada.  

Jeff starts it off with YO, ONE OF YOU GONNA BE GONE

He asks Ryan to grade the tribe and he gives an 8.5 (which isn't a GRADE) because they've eaten every night.  That's how I grade myself as a wife too.  

James says Geo and Ryan are providers

Ryan kisses Jeff's ass as if he has a vote: Jeff I took your words to heart and climbed my first coconut tree. 

Lindsay says they know what it takes to win, but then spins off to why some peeps didn't talked to her today. 

Ryan says he wanted to...

Lindsay: The people who wanted to talk to me did

Geo says he's nervous which I think means the vote and not about Lindsay

Karla says there was a scramble and you have to keep going back and checking in with your group

Lindsay says she was paranoid and people noticed

Geo says he just wanted to keep his people secure

James says he was just chilling, not endlessly checking to give his alliance the feeling of trust

Cassidy says things kept changing which must be surprising to those who didn't think things kept changing

Karla says talk never stopped and there are still questions.

Time to vote.  I swear the music guy sang "Gigolo pop" a few times.  

Cassidy 1

Geo 1

And paranoid LIndsay is gone.  

Survivor 43 Week 2

 

---

Welcome to week 2 of the GREATEST SOCIAL EXPERIMENT EVER.  We had our first tribal last week (YELLOW) and Owen is acting all grateful for not getting voted off.  "Thank you for being you".  Doubtful he's sincere.  Gabbler says he's been to concerned with relationships and has neglected his body, and something something worms are = to bacon.  

Stormy night.  

Sami says the night was rough.  He thinks they need a roof TODAY.  Gabbler thinks that storm might be more than he can handle (it's freakin DAY 3).  Owen is worried Gab can't sustain himself.  Gab has to lay down because he's nauseous and everyone has to remind him to drink.  I'm gonna go out on a ledge and predict he has a wife at home who does everything and was VERY OKAY with him leaving for a month,  

Red-Dwight  and Jesse are looking for an idol.  Jesse says the lines have become clearer and he needs to pull Jesse into his alliance.  Dwight is more interested in having relationships with everyone and they show some pics of him as a child with a lot of politicians.  I'm sure Twitter melted down over the "politicization of Survivor".  Dwight doesn't  like Cody but Jesse things he's "fun".  Cody has the "livin" tattoo on his ass and amuses everyone with a palm frond hat he makes.  Jesse can't connect with Justine.  The bug Cody placed in his ear about salespeople has taken root.  Jesse also thinks Justine is high maintenance because she has a spider phobia and is worried about her nails.  

Hey did y'all see they are scraping the bottom of the barrel and bringing LOVE BOAT back?  WHY.  

Blue is one of those "do yoga" tribes.  Karla is in an alliance with the girls and James, but Geo and Ryan also think they are in an alliance with her.  Geo and Ryan are VERY CLOSE.  Geo finds almond trees, and gets his spotlight moment to talk about being gay and homeless because his parents kicked him out.  Ryan calls him a new brother. 

Red: Cody is all interested in Noelle's fake leg and is creepy watching her get it ready to put on.  Bring on the sob music! Cody had a friend when he was younger that had cancer and lost his leg and them died.  "This changed my life and made me want to be an elevator salesman".  I'm guessing he couldn't go up stairs with one leg?? Cody, like Ricky Bobby, wants to drive FAST.  

Owen says he's being "everyone's friend" which IMO usually means no one's real friend.  Says he's "held it together so far" and now I totally want to see him not hold it together. He's constantly bringing water and reminding people to drink.  Everyone is thirsty because they're out in the "faux jungle" looking for idols.  They show  few people walking past an idol a few time which makes me wonder how small this set really is.  Jeanine and Elie discuss bringing in either Owen or Sami as their new 3rd, but they're afraid Owen is going to be a lot to manage when they merge.  Jeanine wonders what game the guys are playing, if they are in fact playing a game because they look like they're just fooling around.  She and Elie decide to be "strategic".  

Sami says they have a boys alliance.  Says he really doesn't believe in sex-based alliances but they'd be "stupid to lose to girls".  

Immunity Challenge and I already know something is up since the episode is 90 minutes long and we're already at the IC.  The challenge is to climb into a cage in the water and lift out a 400 lb stuffed snake, carry it to shore, lay in on a looong table and find puzzle pieces inside the snake.  Wanna know?  Fishing kits.  

It's a really heavy snake and red is completely lame making Jeff yell things like YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU GO HOME.  Yellow wins 1, Blue 2 and Red goes to tribal.  

Cody says it's now HUNT OR BE HUNTED.  He says Nneke was atrocious but since she's part of his alliance it's not going to be  her.  The girls,  think she sucked, missed an entire bag of puzzle pieces and wasn't pulling her snake weight.  They discuss what is going to get Justine and Noelle further-keeping her or not.  

Nneke says after the challenge it was weird and no one was really talking to her.  But she thinks she is tight with Jesse and Cody.  

On Red they're all celebrating winning.  Elie is proud of herself and we get to hear that, in addition to a dead sister, she also has a sad story of having ADHD/Dyslexia.  ONE SOB STORY PER PERSON!

Gabler decides to use the new fishing spear and Elie reminds him a few times to tie off the spear so he doesn't lose it.  It's called a Hawaiian sling or something.  He refuses to tie it off so I'm expecting at some point the spear will get lost.  

Elie asks Jeanine if she remembers if Gab's idol expires after the second tribal or after HIS second tribal.  Jeanine goes through his bag, saying doing that is a "necessary deed", and reads that it's HIS second tribal.  

On red the decision seems to be Justine OR Noelle first.  Cody wants Justine the saleswoman, and yes-boy Jesse agrees because she told him she is good at lying.  Wonder if she has "lyin" tattooed on her ass?  Jesse talks to Dwight who doesn't have a vote about Justine or Noelle.  Dwight doesn't like Cody but it's not his call.  

Cody tells Nneke she's fine.  Then Cody takes a walk to look for an idol and finds the Beware Advantage and without thinking about it opens it up and gets the idol bracelet.  In order for it to have power he has to go to tribal with the beads from everyone's free Survivor Swag bag.  Or he also has no vote.  Cody thinks he's an idiot for opening it and is worried because everyone is such a superfan they want to keep everything as a memento.  He goes to talk to Jesse who is like, dude did you not watch season 41 and 42?  They tell Nneke and then Cody friggin makes up a story of adorning his palm frond hat with their beads to make it fancy.  Every one gives his his beads except Noelle who made hers into a bracelet and we go to tribal thinking he's screwed.

Tribal. Fire yada yada. 

Jeff-nice hat

Cody tells him his dad (?) taught him to make the hat 

Justine wants one

Jeff asks what it'll take for Justine to get a hat?

Cody says if she's still there tomorrow he'll make her a hat.  

Justine says she's on the chopping block because the tribe is split 2-2-2 and Cody and Nneke are tight.  

Jeff asks if there are 3 pairs and Jesse gets on his knee and asks Dwight to be his pair.  

Dwight points out he doesn't have a vote and Jeff wants to know why this season everyone tells everything, which I'm sure spoils the blindsides.  Someone says information is currency and Jesse says it's used to build trust.  

Noelle  points out that an advantage will help you AND put a target on your back. 

Jesse says the question this week is the alliance or strength one.  

Time to vote and I SWEAR the guy singing the nonsense music sang "I have a headache", 

Any idols or advantages?  Nope.

Cody 1, Nneke 1 and Justine goes home with 3.  And we also find out Noelle gave up her her beads.  

Survivor 43 Week 1

 Welcome Back!!  I always hate this first episode, more so when it's 2 hours long and I can't tell who anyone is.  Also, because Jeff is just so full of himself it makes me roll my eyes which gets in the way of taking notes.  C'mon, does he really think this is the GREATEST SOCIAL EXPERIMENT ever?  Because having watched PBS last week I'm, pretty sure the social experiment where people were shipped to death camps and a whole fuck load of people went along with the killing maybe was a tad more important.  

OK.  Y'all aren't here to get bummed out about the holocaust.  

This is Survivor 43, which makes me sad that they aren't even giving them a name of an exotic location anymore.  Clearly they bought some land in Fiji that someone writes off for using 2 months of the year.  And clearly the island has a cub med for the staff, a hospital staffed by Australians and a few GIANT warehouses full of cheap flammable "decor".  

We have 3 boats and 3 tribes with names that we will ignore using red, yellow and green instead.  They land and Jeff gets to do bullshit with them, calling a few out he's been told have "interesting" stories.  So, we have a para-Olympian with a million dollar leg, a rainbow bright character (WOKE ALERT for those who need one), a woman with a Chinese immigrant Dad story meant to make you believe in America again, a few Philly people and an old dude (who is younger than me) in a beanie who has NO CHANCE so whoever has him needs to start hoping for an alternate ASAP.  Half of them say they decided to go on Survivor while they were sitting on the couch during COVID.  

Jeff:  SURVIVOR is 1) a game anyone can play because you all get to decide how your society is run and 2 AN ADVENTURE!!  Give yourself permission to play.  LIke, has that really been a problem??  

So first we have to win the meager supplies (flint, machete, a pot and a lot of purell behind the trees)/  There's a challenge with crates, which become a puzzle, which someone stands on and uses a stick to get the flint.  It's kind of hard to get the flint until some FREAKIN GENIUS figures out you have to use the pole to hold the flint in the hollow space.  Red wins.

Red consists of Cody who is LOCKED AND LOADED TO GET PLAYING, Nneke, Justine, Dwight, Noelle and Jessie.  Apparently no one got off the COVID couch to learn how to build shelter but at least they have flint.  

Yellow has old man Gabler, Sami, Elie, Owen, Jeanine and Morriah.  Blue is James, Ryan., Karla, Geo, Lindsay and Cassidy.

Yellow and blue have to do the savvy or sweat challenge to get their supplies.  Savvy is a cool puzzle and Sweat has 2 people dig up a giant square to find the stuff.  

Yellow chooses savvy, blue chooses sweat.  Both get their supplies.  Sami pretends he's just an average guy but realizes everyone else on yellow is clueless so he has to unleash his killer puzzle skills.  He's 19 but lies that he's 22 in case there's booze later on.  Ryan and someone else, maybe Geo do the dig thing and fortunately Ryan has some smarts because he carries the whole challenge and finds the bag.  

People start making alliances.  On Red Noelle and Justine line up.  Nneke, Cody and Jessie form a group.  Cody tries to put the stink on Justine for being a sales rep, never revealing he is one too.  

On yellow Owen is half hearted going around saying "I'll let you know if I hear your name" to people randomly.  He says it to Gabler.  We get to hear about Elie's dead sister who OD'd on drugs (DON'T DO DRUGS KIDS OR YOUR SISTER WILL END UP ON SURVIVOR TALKING ABOUT YOU). Elie, rainbow bright Morriah and Jeanine form Girl Power. 

On Blue Cassidy wants to be sneaky.  Lindsay talks to Cassidy and Karla about a girls alliance with James.  I don't think Cassidy and Lindsay are going to be friends.   James, who is a chess dude, is like, OK.  

Yellow can't get fire because these fuckwits didn't spend the pandemic making fire.  Shit, I got so bored I was making it in my driveway.  That and fucking sourdough bread.  Seriously I hope there's a sourdough baking challenge and someone KILLS IT.  Gabler tries and can't get fire.  Sami. ironically the pet cremator, gets fire.  Who didn't see that coming??  Fortunately all of the animals have been removed from the Mark Burnett Island.  Gabler tries to hit up Elie for...something...by throwing out names of old heavy metal bands.  She pretends her dead sister used to mention heavy metal while doing fentanyl.  

On blue. Geo and Karla bond.  Their gaydar brought them together because they both have same sex spouses, although Karla has an accepting family and Geo does not.  Geo, Karla and Ryan form an alliance.  Karla is surprised that people are seeking her out for alliances because she thought no one would like her.  It's still early honey.  

We also learn that Jesse (red) used to be in a gang and had one of those gang who did you kill teardrop tattoos on his face until he got arrested and some SOCIAL WORKER saved his life and got it turned around.  He went to Berkely, and then Duke and has a PhD in Poli Sci. 

Cody doesn't want to do anything to show he's capable.  Justine keeps wanking on the flint to try and make a fire and somehow the shelter falls on her and a fire starts.  Yea, totally like Bewitched.  The original not the shit remake.  

Ok, so the guy in the boat arrives and I fear we are doing that Risk or No Risk prisoners dilemma which I never understand.  Dwight volunteers for red, Gabler is chosen by random draw and Karla guesses the number to get picked.  It's not the walk to the summit thing but a walk out to a giant rock across slippery rocks in the water.  Anywho, Karla picks no risk, and Gabler and  Jesse both pick risk and draw from a bag and open their notes later.  

Justine finally gets fire on Red even though they had the flint all along.  Dwight returns and tells exactly what went down.  Cody doesn't believe him.  Gabler also tells them on Yellow what happened and also hoot when he gets the idol so everyone knows.  

Immunity challenge finally.  There's obstacles, a dig, a beam and a choice of 3 table mazes.  Blue gets the first immunity, and red gets the second sending yellow to tribal.  Although Gabler has an idol he's an idiot who says he's not going to hide behind it and he's going to blow his shot in the dark which tells me he's got no strategy.  Like I said, pray for the alternate if he's your guy.  Elie talks him off the ledge.  

It's a mad dash to find alliances.  Elie wants rainbow bright to go, rainbow wants Owen to go.  Jeanine is afraid to get rid of women and be at the mercy of a male majority.  And it's interesting to me how women STILL inherently know men are bad news in the majority.  Ahem.

Tribal-I swear the set is giant this year.  Get fire because it's your life unless it accidentally blows out, then we find out it's not really your life.  But how cool would that twist be??  

Sami says life has been a joy and they are totally final 6.  LOL

Jeff basically says ARE YOU NUTS?

Owen says no one wanted to put a target on their back by being strategic, which is what you think when you are TOTALLY out of the loop.  

Geo says it was important to get to know everyone and they were supposed to win.  

Morriah says "In fact, we did win..." and they they attacked tribal.  Oh wait, wrong reality show.  She says they won because they gave it their all.  I would totally vote someone off just for saying shit like that.

Sami says "moral victories are meaningless" and is that the fucking truth. 

Jeff asks to stir shit SO NO FINGER POINTING??

Geo says, yep, blah blah accountability

Elie says she isn't about to blame volunteers and it's all about who reached out to her first

Morriah says some people reached out and that today they got out of their trance

Sami says GAME ON.  

Owen says it was the price they paid for being too kumbaya.  

Time to vote.  Any idols?  Nope

Owen gets 1 and Morriah, rainbow and all, gets to be first loser.  And I and the Noller boys get alternate 1

Survivor- And we come to the final night.....

And just like that we come to the end of this season of Survivor!  For all of my bitching this has been an interesting season, not for the twists but as usual for the interpersonal drama.  Not to sound like Jeff but this is still a game and a world that depends on interpersonal communications, and misunderstandings.  It was good to watch the show and imagine a world (or just your little beach) without covid.  I think we are getting there and I can't wait so once again sit among unwashed stinky people again.  LOL.  But, as always, THERE IS NO WAY THERE ARE NOT HANDWASHING STATIONS.

So who's still kicking it on Viakana?  Xander, much to my surprise, Danny and DeShawn, Erika amazingly, Ricard and Heather who has had like 10 lines the entire season.  

Xander tells DeShawn that he gave an eloquent speech at Tribal.  DeShawn says it was eating him alive and he had to say something.  He is sad Liana is gone but he "believes in fate".  

Danny says he trusted Xander and he let him down.  Says they had their opportunity to get rid of Ricard, AKA TOM BRADY and they whiffed.  Xander says he needed Ricard around to be the shield and to have someone else people wanted out.  Now it's time.  Ricard says Xander is gone without Immunity.  

Heather talks with DeShawn about tribal.  She says it was heavy and she didn't know he was going through all of that internally.  He says he and Shan were acting like it was all good between them, but race is something that is always there.  Heather seems to truly be learning and I give her props for talking about it with him and becoming more aware.  This is what diversity is about, people just working and playing together and learning about each other.  She says she is glad it came out and that she wants this season to make a difference.  Unsaid is all of this drama has been a great shield for her.  

Erika tells DeShawn all of this effects her too and she understands the pressure because she voted Liana out yet there hasn't been a female survivor winner in a while.  She says people just want heroes that look like them.  

OK. back to the actual GAME.  Reward Challenge- 2 teams.  It's a jump in the water, swim, dive and get buoys, then water basketball.  Wanna know?  A choice between grilled chicken and veggie OR cakes and cookies.  Or what I like to call, "what shall I have for lunch today??"  DeShawn is disappointed there was no mention of letters from home.  He says he doesn't need food (told you there was a vending machine) but could use word from home.  Jeff is all WTF?  LOL.  I like that these players now feel in the position to talk back to him.  

Team 1 is Ricard, Heather and Danny and Team 2 is Erika, DeShawn and Xander.  It goes about the way you would assume given the split.  For some strange reason (and Jeff points it out) Heather doesn't even bother to help return the balls to Ricard shooting.  Team 2 wins reward and DeShawn sees an opportunity to talk with Xander and Erika about getting rid of Ricard.  

At Reward Xander is all over the chicken and veg which is his normal keto diet routine.  Erika tells DeShawn they're thinking Ricard which is music to his ears.  Says "I'm down with y'all".  (He also says "I don't trust them).  

Back at the ranch Ricard and Heather go out looking for food.  When the come back Danny is still missing so the assumption is he's idol searching, LIKE EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING.  He returns and Ricard thinks his vibe has changed.  We see Danny pass over an idol but don't see him find one.  Ricard though thinks he has.  He tells Erika and says they should assume he has one.  

Sunrise-they're all sitting on the beach.  Thankfully no yoga nutbags this season.  DeShawn tells Erika he sees a final 3 with her.  She wonders if people see her and Heather as the same.  DeShawn says that no, the 3 of them have different stories to tell the jury.  DeShawn explains to the camera that he was planting the seed of getting rid of Heather.  

Immunity Challenge- Spin to uncoil a rope around their waist, them do an obstacle course dizzy followed by a puzzle.  Guess what?? Ricard wins immunity and is guaranteed final 5.  Erika is all damnit.  What's plan B?  

DeShawn and Danny commiserate.  They don't exactly say "those white folks are idiots" but it's pretty close.  Danny is especially pissed off since he knows they missed their chance.  Ricard asks Danny if he found an idol and he says nope but people assume I did.  Ricard decides to look in his bag and doesn't find an idol but knows it could be hidden given PEOPLE GO THROUGH YOUR STUFF.  

Heather points out that DeShawn was close to winning, and Xander points out Danny was also close.  It's a huge decision.  He points out that Ricard has the best resume and they need to keep people who could ultimately beat him.  Must be hard for Heather to hear.  LOL.

Erika suggests splitting the vote between Danny and DeShawn.  She knows DeShawn is likeable but she's aligned with him.  Ricard thinks they could beat DeShawn easier than Danny. Ricard is nervous about the relationship between Erika, Heather and DeShawn.  

DeShawn and Danny talk.  Danny tells him, since one of us is probably going home it's time I told you I'm a former NFL player.  LOL.  Says he played for the Cowboys and the Bears.  It's actually a cute moment.  

Tribal

Jeff tells DeShawn he crack him up grinning at tribal!-DeShawn says he's still happy to be there.  He says right out there that the 4 are going to split their votes for he and Danny.  

Ricard says he and DeShawn had a good day and yes he could still vote for him.

DeShawn says it was stupid for them to keep Ricard last week

Danny gets into it saying YES IT WAS SOOOO STUPID.  Say he's not mad at Ricard but at the people who KEPT him.

Erika explains that she and Ricard have a trust and that Liana voted for her once

Heather bristles and says being told we voted wrong is subjective.  She says the vote was for HER game.  

Xander is saying he's just trying to pitch to those you've voted out.  

Danny says if this is the end he's OK because he left his soul and he's proud.  

DeShawn says he's still proud if he goes...

Jeff interrupts to ask who's nervous about what he's going to say?

DeShawn tells Heather that Erika said she can't take her to the final.

Ricard says the gameplay truthbomb is an interesting strategy.  He wonders if it changed anything.

Erika says, "I'm sure Heather has thought of a game plan without me. She says to DeShawn "now I know I was right not to trust you..."

Jeff asks DeShawn if he just killed himself, given Danny was gracious.

Time to vote....idols?  Nope.  Has this been the season with more idols and less idols actually used??

Danny 3

DeShawn 3 (did they vote for each other??)

Revote-Danny is voted out.  

Jeff announces they go to a new island without supplies (but with a HAND WASHING STATION) and tonight we will have 2 immunity challenges, 2 tribals, 1 firemaker tie and 1 winner!

Good luck everyone but ESPECIALLY XANDER!!!

Giant Survivor Update

 CHRIST I hate when I got so behind I have no idea when we last talked.  It has been a few weeks and probably 27 twists.  Let me see if I can go back and quickly catch up in VIAKANA.  

So about 2 or 3 or 10 weeks ago  the yellow underdogs were trying to stir up shit, while Heather has emerged from the shadows to cause some drama. Shan is a pain in the ass control nut. The AAA (African American Alliance) is still convinced they’re going to final four and race glass ceilings will crack all over the world.  On the other hand Ricard is partially deaf and he’s trying to break the  hard of hearing ceiling. Again with these stories my husband turns to me and says “Christ it’s as bad as the Olympics”. 

Deshawn and Shan are butting beads as are Naseer and Heather.  My man Xander and Erika are just on the outs. 

The twist of the week is the immunity challenge will be done as 2 teams with each going to tribal. So they’re competing within their team and between teams. It’s also for reward- beef stew. (Strangely the episode was not sponsored by Dinty Moore). 

Group one is Erika, Shan, Ricard, Naseer and Heather. Group two is Deshawn,  Danny, Evvie, Liana and Xander. 

In group 1, Erika wins immunity, Group 2 Xander wins and he outlasts Erika for group 2 to win the stew. Group 1 has spend the night at the shitty old camp before tribal. 

Xander likes stew. 

Group one tribal ends in a tie between Naseer and Heather because Shan used her extra vote. Revote and bye bye Naseer. 

Tribal 2. Evvie is toast. 

NEXT

Ok, I started to go through my notes and do an update on the second of apparently 3 episodes I have missed and it comes down to this- is there a black alliance or is there not a black alliance.  Looooots of discussion.  Endless frankly.  

Reward challenge to break things up.  I can't figure out what it was because my notes say something something rope, something puzzle.  Winner gets to go to the "Survivor Sanctuary" and have pizza and a sleep over.  I don't even remember if there was a shower involved.  Ricard wins.  He brings Shan, Heather and Xander with him.  Danny thinks Ricard is playing the jury up.  

Back at camp the losers-Deshawn, Danny, Erika and Liana.  Danny and Deshawn go for crabs and discuss how they have to get Ricard out.  Does anyone on the black alliance think it's weird that Shan is ACTUALLY closer to Ricard??  They have a plan to take out Ricard and go to talk to Liana.  "Someone is gaining steam in the game". Liana guesses Shan....Erika.....they tell her Ricard.  Liana says she's struggling with it because she doesn't feel OK making moves without Shan.  

The Survivor Sanctuary has the decor of an old shipwreck.  Ricard and Shan do the love fest bullshit and discuss how they don't want to discuss the fact that someday soon they're going to have to go head to head.  Shan leaves doing that fucking cartoon humming.  

Back at the ranch Liana is happy to have her brain back.  Are we still final black 4?  They cry again about the instant connection they had up on the summit.  Shan asks if they talked about blindsiding her and Liana says, no Ricard.  Shan says, then we pick Deshawn off.  Shan tells Ricard they're gunning for him and that they are going to pick off Deshawn.  Ricard is surprised Shan would tell him.  Shan says it's not time for our curtain call.  

Immunity Challenge- Stand on a narrow beam and balance a ball on a stick.  Ricard wins.  Mwahahha.  Danny looks sad.  

Shan says Erika would be the simple choice.  Says they all vote for Erika but don't tell Xander so he uses his idol.  Ricard thinks instead today is Shan day (yaaaaay).  Ricard tells Xander and Heather, who are very cool with it.  They need one more vote.  Ricard goes to the double D's with it which surprises me.  DeShawn is unhappy that Shan snitched on him.  Erika is afraid that Shan will play her idol and it will be her going.  Danny says Shan pissed him off.  Hellooooo!! Erika suggests 3 votes Shan, 3 Liana.  Danny thinks that's a nice plan.  Danny wonders if they are getting played by Erika but Shan broke his trust.  

Tribal 

Xander, Heather and Erika discuss being at the bottom.  Shan says things resort after every tribal and you could go from bottom to top.  

Ricard says he and Shan have had a weird relationship from the start.  Shan says we are all liars but I don't remember the context.  She likes to make dramatic statements and get Daddy Jeff's approval.  

Erika says you can't not try in this game and she says " I have one vote to offer..."

Ricard says something about logically you'd get rid of the bottom people (would you??) but everyone has a different perception of who the bottom is.  

Vote.  Idols? Nope.

Erika 2, Shan 3, Liana 3.  Revote between Shan and Liana.  SHAN IS VOTED OFF!!  Who else did the hum song??

Shan says "DeShawn you are a snake..."  

AND FINALLY LAST WEEK....

Liana is upset that her girl (and shield, lets face it) was blindsided and the black alliance was blown up.  The Double D's say "It wasn't our plan", they turned on us.  

Xander is happy because he went from the bottom to the top.  "I'll do whatever for our 4"  Erika says Liana is having a bad night.  D and D said before she left Shan dropped a bomb-said Deshawn was a snake and that she would give her vote for a million $$ to Ricard.  Helloooooo,  she always was going to do that.  The whole black alliance thing was her hedging her bets.  

Ricard says DeShawn is confusing him-says he can't take ownership for the blindside.  DeShawn is ranting at camp and Ricard tells him to chill.  DeShawn says he was trying to process the vote and he thought exposing Ricard to camp would take him out but it backfired.  

DeShawn tells Liana they can still be a black alliance.  She thinks his lies about Shan are too hurtful and she wants revenge.  

They're eating rice and there's majestic music so you know some bullshit is about to be thrust upon us.  Aaaand here we go.  Danny says that it is the 25th anniversary of his Dad's death so he gets his olympic skating tragedy moment.  He says he has never gotten over the anger but sitting on Survivor he has made peace with it,  Seriously Jeff lives for this shit and the hallucinogenic  value of starvation.  

Immunity Challenge and a DANGEROUS TWIST and a decision based upon where they think they fit in the 7.  Challenge is another balance a ball thing, this time on rods held horizontally.  The twist is DO OR DIE and I swear to god someone better fucking DIE tonight the way Jeff is building it up.  The first to drop has to go to DO OR DIE at tribal where there is an instant chance you get axed from the game (and end up on the jury which is NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM DYING.  IF you don't die you're immune from being voted off.  Anyone who wants to can sit out the challenge and hence NOT risk fake death.  Heather and Liana sit out.  It ain't like either was gonna win.  

DeShawn drops first and may DIE tonight.  (rubs hands)  Danny wins immunity totally because he had that lil moment this morning.  Totally.  

DeShawn says he's content to die to night.  Double D says Ricard has to go.  Danny tells Xander that  the smart money is Ricard because he's won 2 challenges and is dangerous.  Shan is already voting for him.  Xander wants Ricard as his easy vote shield.  He asks what the alternative is, Liana?  Danny says THIS IS OUR RESUME.  
Christ I hate when we get to the burnishing our resume part of the season.  Xander trusts Ricard more than Liana.  

Erika asks Xander what he thinks. She says Ricard could beat them all but Liana once voted for her.  Ricard is a big threat and she wonders if they will get another chance.  Xander tells Ricard that double D is gunning for him.  If they stick together they're good.  They agree that Erika is getting shady.  

DeShawn and Liana tell each other they would never write their name down.  Sure you would.  

Tribal

It's all about the first all black alliance, all about society changing, all about bringing light to diversity.  Very noble and important tribal.  And I agree with all that they are saying.  I'm just not sure this is the forum.

Anywhoo, Heather is like, I don't really understand a lot of this but I'm sorry.  Jeff tells us that Survivor is a SOCIAL EXPERIMENT that's all about bringing people together.  Uhuh.  And then having them lie and backstab each other.  IT'S A REALITY SHOW JEFF.  THERE AIN'T MUCH OF THIS THAT IS REAL LIFE.  

Do or Die time and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD no one is really going to die tonight.  I am just so disappointed when Jeff leaves and comes back with 3 boxes and not a giant machete or a revolver with one bullet.  Cyanide in one of the boxes???  Please???  Nope.  One has a pictures of flame and two skulls.  He gets the flame.  Christ.  Life is so disappointing sometimes.  

They vote.  Ricard squeaks by with 3 to Liana's 5 votes.  But don't be sad because Shan and Liana get a slumber party for the next 2 weeks.  

WHEW!!!  I SWEAR I WILL KEEP UP TO DATE FROM NOW ON IN.  

Survivor: Yellow Submarine

 Yo yo yo!  Welcome to Survivor Advantage!  Where there are so many idols and advantages ya need a chart.  Unfortunately I do not have a chart.  If you do, please send it to me!!

The tribe formerly known as Yellow is in disarray.  They're all scrambin' and dealin.  Xander is wondering if he should trust Tiffany and Evvie (helloooooooo.  TRUST NO ONE).  Evvie is on a relationship recovery tour which doesn't seem to be doing well.  Deshawn is a complete NO on the issue, pointing out that they all voted for him!  Pretty sure they will not be joining the HISTORIC Black Alliance.  

Challenge- with a sit out advantage.  Anyone else find the fact that Jeff has to explain shit to us viewers directly creepy?  I guess it's to make us all feel part of the circus although a quick shot of the advantage on the bench would have been sufficient.  

Survivors are randomly divided into 2 teams of five with one person sitting out with no chance to win.  The challenge does have the required leaps, swims, climbs, pulls and puzzles,  Wanna know?  GRILLED CHEESE BACK AT CAMP.  Damn,  I almost made myself a reward sandwich while watching.  Erika AGAIN gets excluded as the sit out person but Xander, eager to kiss any exposed ass, asks to switch with her since she hasn't eaten in days.  Xander apparently assumes there is an advantage but although we see him looking he fails to find the scroll that says ADVANTAGE.  The blue team consists of Danny, Ricard, Deshawn, Erika and Evvie and unsurprisingly with al the muscle KICKS ASS. They are way far ahead getting to the pyramid giant ball puzzle which Evvie finishes in a hot minute because she built one with beads and practiced.  So, GRILLED CHEESE AND CHIPS FOR THE BLUE TEAM!!!

Tiffany is annoyed she is SOMEHOW on the losing team again.  Funny that!  Shan and Liana are crying about the grilled cheese.  Shan is HANGRY and taking it out on Evvie.  Xander says he basically sat out because the challenge losers are always eager for allies.  And Shan and Li approach him.  Loser Naseer goes out and finds papaya and the losers all try to convince themselves that it is DAMN GOOD PAPAYA.  

Returning to camp and picking American Cheese out of his teeth, Ricard helps himself to a piece of papaya which is SIMPLY NOT DONE.  Shan is REALLY REALLY HANGRY NOW.  "That says it all, that's character right there".  

Ricard is kind of incredulous that he is on the outs because he attempted to hoover up the starving players food.  Sarcastically tells people "If you get food at a challenge YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.  He's aware enough to worry if Shan will resent him.  

Immunity Challenge-it's the one where you stand on tip toes with a wood thing on your head pressed against the top and you have to stand there to keep the block from falling.  But of course THERE IS A TWIST!!  Jeff offers a portion of rice if one person sits out, but if multiple people sit out they can negotiate for more rice.  Shan is apparently the self appointed negotiator and she asks how many is multiple-3?  Jeff says 7.  The get that down to 5.  But only Shan and Naseer volunteer.  Heather says she feels she needs to compete and I'm yelling at the TV-c'mon  you're not going to win this challenge!  Xander asks if 4 people would work, volunteers to join them if another steps out  and Ricard sits out as well.  So they have negotiated 3 days of rice in exchange for immunity.  Kinda risky for Xander!

Jeff keeps telling them the last time they did this challenge it went over 2 hours, but within seconds Deshawn, Erika and Tiffany drop.  Liana, Danny drop next and it's down to Evvie and OMG WHAAAT??? Heather.  Evvie wins immunity in 4 minutes.  

Liana says that the Evvie plan is gone so she wants to force Xander to play his idol and for Tiffany to go home.  Naseer wants to split the vote to feel comfortable.  Deshawn suggests to Shan Tiffany and Naseer.  Shan thinks Xander is a bigger threat and goes into dog with a bone mode.  Deshawn gets annoyed with her and tells her he needs to know she is listening to her.  Shan smoothes things over but still wants to have her way. She says tell everyone it's between Tiffany and Naseer.  Naseer hears this and freaks out.  Says they can't use his name-suggests Heather.  Xander hears it and doesn't believe it's Heather.  Tiffany thinks it's her.  She asks Danny and he basically says "could be you".  Shan and Liana tell Heather they're just using her name and she blows up.  If they use their idols then I'm screwed.  

Tribal

Jeff asks if food is an issue.

Shan says her "pastoral heart" led her to try to get rice for the flock

Xander says it was a big move for him to reopen the negotiations because he wanted to prove himself to the tribe

Naseer says he gave his heart for the tribe even though he know he would have won

Heather says she is scared that she is on the bottom

Tiffany says same.  Says she is only one of 2-3 people kept in the dark

Danny says he's not sure either

Shan says really??

Evvie agrees that no one told her the plan either

Deshawn says that all 3 yellows were ready to turn last week, says he doesn't believe it

Evvie says they were going to let her go before she won immunity

Erika says we are all off balance because we don't know who is with who

Jeff says is it time to vote?  And Heather is like, wait aren't we going to discuss who to vote for?  I still can't decide if she's clueless or if this was strategy but she is trying to talk people back into Naseer as the alternate.  Now everyone is crazy again and Deshawn is mad that he's once again being told what to do by Shan.  Ricard tells Xander to play his idol.  Shan says she's talking to people the way THEY NEED TO BE TALKED TO.  That's going to sting next week....

Finally it's time to vote.  Any advantages or idols??  NO

Xander 2

Heather 2

Naseer 1

And Tiffany is gone with 5 votes!  

Survivor: Snowglobe

 Oooh, another SHAKEUP!! Another TWIST brought to you by someone clearly with a high COVID fever!  

Prior to the BIG TWIST Shan and Ricard are going at it because Shan is a control freak who wants to hold all of the idols.  Ricard is mad because she shook him down for the advantage before tribal.  Shan says it's MIIIINE, ALL MIIIIINE, ME WANTS THE PRECIOUS!!!!      Ricard reminds her they found it together and he could have just as easily opened it.  MIIIIIIIIIIINE.    

Ricard: I feel like you don't trust me. (Moderator: SHE DOESN'T)

Shan: Next idol is yours

Ricard: Thanks for permission to have ONE.

Tree mail A MILESTONE OF EVERY SEASON but lets have some "fun" first.  Wooohooo that must mean we are merged!!!

Yellow is all "we're totally a solid 4.....maybe 3....." Lianna is "chompin to flip the narrative"

Some on blue are uneasy because, having never gone to tribal, they have never had to vote and solidify alliances.  Naseer is ALL IN WITH BLUE.  Danny thinks there are big cracks.  

Jeff gets a candid shot where he tells US about the big twist (which I had to rewind twice to figure out).  There's no tribal tonight, and the winners will think they are safe and send one person away but also give them BIG POWER.  

Everyone is told they are now in the next phase and they can DROP YER BUFFS!  Everyone is happy especially those who have used their old buff to wipe their ass this morning.  You are now not EXACTLY merged.  There are no tribes but you have to earn your way to a merge.  

They have to draw rocks to split into 2 teams then do a challenge with a giant buried boulder, an obstacle course, keys, and a word puzzle.  The first team gets merge buffs and a meal and are safe.  The other team has to go to tribal or an immunity challenge then tribal??  I was lost here but I think Jeff was being vague.  2 players get gray rocks and don't get to compete.  

Yellow:

Xander

Heather

Liana

Tiffany

Shan

Blue

Danny

Ricard

Sydney

Deshawn

Evvie

Gray rocks Naseer and Erika.  

I'm sure you can guess by the split which team wins,  Blue kicks ass and wins.  They have to chose one of the gray's to join them and one to send to an isolated island for 2 days all alone.  They pick Naseer to join them and send poor Erika off to the island which I don't even think has a cute marketing name.  

The losers do get rice for one day while the other feast.  They all leave to go to their new camp.

Jeff asks Erika how she feels and she tells him she was pretty sure she was at the bottom anyway.  She's terrified of being alone on the island.  

At the feast Naseer is all happy.  Evvie asks if they like Erika or what that shit is?  Deshawn tells her that they've been watching Yellow knock all of the men off and they were concerned about the male privilege.  

Erika is scared to be alone.  She finds a little bit of rice and water.  She starts a fire and tells her story about being from the Philippines and living in Canada and how being on Survivor is like a love letter to her parents and as usual I'm like BITCH WE ALL HAVE STORIES.

Back on mergeland Xander is downtrodden and really wants to get to the full merge.  He's still stuck on the suck team.  Tiffany shows off her total lack of social skills by asking Shan if she got the idol in front of everyone.  Shan then talks to Liana about who has idols and who has advantages.  They're still all bonded.  Liana talk about what a pain in the ass Tiffany is.  Tiffany gets her panties in a wad about Liana and Shan bonding and leaving her out so she says she "may not have Liana's back".  

Everyone is bonding on camp.  There's apparently a black person alliance for the "first time".  Danny is worried Erika is going to come back with an advantage and a grudge.  

Erika is working on her fire and JEFF pulls up in a boat and sits down on the sand with her and for a minute I thought this might get kind of creepy and then I worried even more about this girl all alone on a isolated island and I was more afraid of the film/production crew than any animals.  Jeff pushes her buttons by asking what it feels like to be alone.  She tells him she feels left behind and is going to have to catch up.  Jeff tells her about the magic hourglass she has that allows her to leave the game as is OR to DRAMATICALLY shift the game by turning back the clock and changing who won the challenge yesterday.  She has to decide by tomorrow whether or not to change who the winners of yesterday's challenge was.  Erika thinks about how the 6 now safe were her original tribe, BUT she's clearly on the bottom of that group.  

TO BE CONTINUED!!!