Man, it's a little hard getting back in the swing of it, my head is full of comments! First of all, notice tonight that they have tweaked the soundtrack of SURVIVOR CHINA to reflect that this is a MONUMENTAL UNDERTAKING, NEVER ATTEMPTED BEFORE. Having 16 people actually LIVE in China for 30 plus days. Man. Wait till the 50 bazillion Chinese find out their lives are just one big reality show. I totally can't wait for the Tiannenman Square challenge. And if anyone knows how to spell Tiannenman, you get a gold star for the day.
Ok, so the music is a combination of that African chanting but with a Chinese accent. Kind of haunting and yet simplistic.
My man Jeff is looking dimpled and hot. I was a little disappointed by the safari outfit. I kind of expected him to be in chinese attire, maybe a little velvet hat with a tassel, or a collarless jacket. And some silk elastic waist pants. Ahhhhh.
Where was I? So, you knew when you saw them walking in with tons of luggage that they weren't gonna get to keep any of that. Is that for them to do their hair after they're kicked off? Or don't these people know they are going on Survivor, where you wear the same thing for 30 days. Like, "hey, I think they changed the rules this time and we get to have electricity and change out clothes every day".
So, first lamb up to the slaughter is the christian radio host, Leslie. Um, did you NOT just hear Jeff say the is NOT a religious ceremony at the Buddhist temple? And, did she really say when she walked out that "I'm not really religious but my religion says you can't worship anyone but one God". Yea, they really give those christian radio talk shows to people who are NOT REALLY RELIGIOUS. Good one. Kinda spooky that she hooked right up with the grave digger though. And, can I say that the grave digger is pretty cool. I just may have to take that cremation thing outa my will.
Courtney! Chill girl. Even without the buddhist ceremony, you ain't gonna get to sit under at tree and drink lemonaide until your ass is kicked off this show.
Teams are split into Zhan Hu, meaning Fighting Tiger and Fei Long, meaning Flying Dragon. I was kinda hoping for Chow Mein and Stir Fry as the tribe names for ease in the pool.
First up, the shelter game, which is when all the personalities come out. And believe me, having been recently house hunting with my husband, it ain't just in survivor that the whole shelter fight takes place. Let's see who can, in one day, annoy more people with either anal stubborn tendencies or laziness. Couldn't you just suck it up for one day and say, "just let me know where you want me to hammer in this big stick for ya". I swear these people are all socially retarded in some ways.
Challenge time. I'm guessing the dragons had to get SAG cards, since I can pretty much guarantee that you will see a dragon in every darn challenge. And OH MY GOD. After this challenge you can BET Jeff called Mark Burnett on his honeymoon with Roma and said, "Dagnabbit, get Nike to send us some sports bras and shorts or I'm off this show"!! Holy Bali Underwire, Batman! There ain't enough pixilation for Sherea.
So, blah blah blah, Team Feng Shui ends up victorious and gets fire. I asked my husband where the beaches were. And he laughed and said, "honey, this is China, there ain't no beaches". Huh.
Ok, enough about my marriage. Back at camp, Team Zhan Hu (yea, I had to go back and look it up) compete in the final, who is a bigger a-hole competition, with Chicken in the big hairy chest taking on PG, a local favorite (get it?) in the tight-ass face. Ashley is a close vomiting third.
Final vote? Bye bye Chicken. Back to the farm!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Phoebe
Phoebe, aka puppalicious, is a flat-coated retriever, 13 weeks old today, and my first dog ever. She joins 2 cats, Jake and Molly. More on them later...My husband is the dog lover, I've always been afraid of them and with a wealth of good excuses managed to keep us from getting a dog for the 14 and a half year of our marriage. I guess he just wore me down, or I ran out of excuses but the minute I said, "ok, you can start looking for puppies", he found one. Somehow I think he's had a list of breeders in his back pocket for a while.
So, we now have baby gates all around the house and find ourselves saying things like, "did she do poops?" to each other. I, unfortunately, have become the chewy toy of choice. When she went to pre-puppy kindergarten the teacher laughed and said, in the hierarchy of our house, Wil's the alpha parent and I'm the chewy. I've explained to her that I have 2 masters degrees and was once a BIG DEAL in business, with lots of people afraid of me on a daily basis, but she just goes for my feet.
Pirate Master Finale-Part Two
OK, so a day and a half goes by with everyone back on the ship. Mostly the girls lay out in the sun in bikini's, which is the whole point of bringing everyone back.
Jo Dong makes some really wise comments about Christa using her breasts to win, which he appreciates.
Ben and Louie share a moment, with Ben apologizing for throwing the last challenge and asks if Louie will take the 12K he made on that win. Louie says, "damn straight, I'm just here for the money"
OK, so the next night all are called up on deck for another Pirate Court. Ben and Christa get to recruit 3 ghosts each to help them, but in the sexist wisdom of this show each "side" has to have 2 men and 2 women. Each of the ghosts who wants to offers a reason for chosing them. This is really boring, frankly. Everybody wants in. John makes a freaky case for why he "totally believes in Christa's spirit".
Ben offers his 80K winnings so far to the 3 people he choses if he wins. Christa offers her 70K. Which is really funny since earlier they were both talking about making about 110K so far.
They vote. Ben wants Cheryl, Az and Nessa. Christa wants Jay, JOHN for god sake, and Nessa. They have a bidding war over Nessa and Ben offers her an additional 10K win or lose. Christa asks Jay and John if she can offer some of their money to Nessa, and both of these total TOOLS say, "I'd do you for nothing". Oh sorry, they say "I'd help you win for nothing". Christa gets Nessa and Ben takes Jupiter.
The next day is the final challenge. Really. The teams have to row to shore, race up the mountain and into the caves to find an ancient chinese box, with a puzzle key. Interestingly there are 2 ancient chinese boxes that are identical.
Ben's team is ahead but gets passed by Christa's team. Ben gets the clue open first. Next clue is a packet of playing cards which have to be put in order. I guess this is a brain teaser?? Both start doing it but Christa gets all screwed up as to how to do it (don't ask) and Ben's team gets ahead. The side of the organized deck of cards says, "look under the cannon balls". Back into the cave, Az pulls out a big ship's wheel under a bunch of balls. Think Ikea playground. Jay gets tired of waiting for Christa to figure out how to organize the cards and watches Ben's team walk out with the wheel. He gets the wheel and they basically skip the card thing. The next clue says the leader (ben/christa) has to do the next part themselves. Run back up the mountain to Capn. Steele's private quarters. They both run up. Ben beats Christa and hangs the wheel on a coat of arms on the wall. They both are there staring at the clue now. No one gets it. Ben figures it out first and lines up the letters so it says, "PSYCH, the money is in the chest of zanzibar back on the ship". Both now have to go back down the hill carrying a big ass metal chest with a key in it. Ben's gets there first and his team paddles back to the ship with Christa's team following.
Back on the ship, Ben opens a clue in the chest and finds he has to solve ANOTHER DAMN PUZZLE. He's working on it when Christa shows up. Both are neck and neck solving the puzzle.
Ben gets it first and wins the $$.
Jo Dong makes some really wise comments about Christa using her breasts to win, which he appreciates.
Ben and Louie share a moment, with Ben apologizing for throwing the last challenge and asks if Louie will take the 12K he made on that win. Louie says, "damn straight, I'm just here for the money"
OK, so the next night all are called up on deck for another Pirate Court. Ben and Christa get to recruit 3 ghosts each to help them, but in the sexist wisdom of this show each "side" has to have 2 men and 2 women. Each of the ghosts who wants to offers a reason for chosing them. This is really boring, frankly. Everybody wants in. John makes a freaky case for why he "totally believes in Christa's spirit".
Ben offers his 80K winnings so far to the 3 people he choses if he wins. Christa offers her 70K. Which is really funny since earlier they were both talking about making about 110K so far.
They vote. Ben wants Cheryl, Az and Nessa. Christa wants Jay, JOHN for god sake, and Nessa. They have a bidding war over Nessa and Ben offers her an additional 10K win or lose. Christa asks Jay and John if she can offer some of their money to Nessa, and both of these total TOOLS say, "I'd do you for nothing". Oh sorry, they say "I'd help you win for nothing". Christa gets Nessa and Ben takes Jupiter.
The next day is the final challenge. Really. The teams have to row to shore, race up the mountain and into the caves to find an ancient chinese box, with a puzzle key. Interestingly there are 2 ancient chinese boxes that are identical.
Ben's team is ahead but gets passed by Christa's team. Ben gets the clue open first. Next clue is a packet of playing cards which have to be put in order. I guess this is a brain teaser?? Both start doing it but Christa gets all screwed up as to how to do it (don't ask) and Ben's team gets ahead. The side of the organized deck of cards says, "look under the cannon balls". Back into the cave, Az pulls out a big ship's wheel under a bunch of balls. Think Ikea playground. Jay gets tired of waiting for Christa to figure out how to organize the cards and watches Ben's team walk out with the wheel. He gets the wheel and they basically skip the card thing. The next clue says the leader (ben/christa) has to do the next part themselves. Run back up the mountain to Capn. Steele's private quarters. They both run up. Ben beats Christa and hangs the wheel on a coat of arms on the wall. They both are there staring at the clue now. No one gets it. Ben figures it out first and lines up the letters so it says, "PSYCH, the money is in the chest of zanzibar back on the ship". Both now have to go back down the hill carrying a big ass metal chest with a key in it. Ben's gets there first and his team paddles back to the ship with Christa's team following.
Back on the ship, Ben opens a clue in the chest and finds he has to solve ANOTHER DAMN PUZZLE. He's working on it when Christa shows up. Both are neck and neck solving the puzzle.
Ben gets it first and wins the $$.
Pirate Master Finale-Part One
Yes, part one. The final show was 90 minutes long.
Started with a LONG recap of the past 13 weeks. Which I had to watch twice since my computer kicked me off. It didn't even want to watch.
So..... final 3: Christa, Jay and Ben get up and think that today is the final competition. ALL HANDS TO THE MID DECK . Host-Dude, Cameron (in white pants, and thank GOD I watched it tonight and not next Tuesday AFTER LABOR DAY ) , who sent them a cheese plate and 3 bottles of wine last night, tells them the lock holds the HALF MILLION TREAURE. BUT, this is not your final expedition. First, you have to find the first mate's treasure since "he holds all my secrets", which I KNOW is code for sex with the first mate. There's one more challenge before the final 2 go for the gold.
At this point, I thought of killing myself. Really.
There is only one clue, so the 3 have to go down below and copy it. I'm guessing right about now the show was canceled and Burnett had to cut costs. So, all 3 copy a map on one side and a list of latin words and their english meanings on the other. Christa says, "fortunately I know some latin". Hmmm. I guess in addition to spanish and chinese, Sesame Street now does a Latin version.
Here's the challenge: swim to shore, climb space mountain, find a sword on a rope bridge. Yes, I was yelling at the screen "and use the sword to kill both of your competitors, thereby ending the show".
They swim. they run. they get the swords, and the sheaths say go to the pool for the next clue. Ben and Jay take off running, Christa behind. Ben then Jay find the pool and swim around until they find a rock with graffiti on it. Fortunately it's really a clue, not F.U. Pirate Master written on it. They use the latin to translate the clue which says, "drag your sorry asses back up the mountain". Jay and Ben are neck and neck, and go back across the rope bridge where there is a sabotage. Ben sabotages Christa by cutting down the bridge, while Jay says something like, "damn, I probably ain't getting laid tonight afterall". Christa has to stumble around another way in the jungle. She's basically done.
They have to find another pool and swim underwater and translate more latin. This one says, "dudes, the gold is next to the waterfall". Ben finds the treasure.
They drag it back on deck and host-dude opens it. It has 50K and 2 more clues for the finale. Ben, the idiot, splits the 50K with dumb and dumber. Jay and Christa have to go to Pirate Court where SURPRISE!!!!! the ghosts of contestants past make the final decision on who gets to stay.
Christa is in her lucky corset, and she gets to talk first. blah blah blah, everything I did, I did for my daughter. Jay: "hey, I know I'm a jerk but the game is pirate master, not princess master". Lots of drama as the ghosts get to speak. Kendra rips into Christa saying, basically, "I'm sick of you using your daughter as an excuse. If you want to do something for her, get a real job". Joe Dong says, "Christa was a follower, Jay was a leader". John, that weird dude, says something about how hot he is for Christa and uses the term Machiavellian , correctly I might add.
They vote. Christa gets one vote, Jay 12. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE..... Host dude says, Jay, you aren't cut adrift tonight but you will join the ghosts, who will all continue the adventure WHICH IS FAR FROM OVER......
Cue the spooky Pirate Master music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Started with a LONG recap of the past 13 weeks. Which I had to watch twice since my computer kicked me off. It didn't even want to watch.
So..... final 3: Christa, Jay and Ben get up and think that today is the final competition. ALL HANDS TO THE MID DECK . Host-Dude, Cameron (in white pants, and thank GOD I watched it tonight and not next Tuesday AFTER LABOR DAY ) , who sent them a cheese plate and 3 bottles of wine last night, tells them the lock holds the HALF MILLION TREAURE. BUT, this is not your final expedition. First, you have to find the first mate's treasure since "he holds all my secrets", which I KNOW is code for sex with the first mate. There's one more challenge before the final 2 go for the gold.
At this point, I thought of killing myself. Really.
There is only one clue, so the 3 have to go down below and copy it. I'm guessing right about now the show was canceled and Burnett had to cut costs. So, all 3 copy a map on one side and a list of latin words and their english meanings on the other. Christa says, "fortunately I know some latin". Hmmm. I guess in addition to spanish and chinese, Sesame Street now does a Latin version.
Here's the challenge: swim to shore, climb space mountain, find a sword on a rope bridge. Yes, I was yelling at the screen "and use the sword to kill both of your competitors, thereby ending the show".
They swim. they run. they get the swords, and the sheaths say go to the pool for the next clue. Ben and Jay take off running, Christa behind. Ben then Jay find the pool and swim around until they find a rock with graffiti on it. Fortunately it's really a clue, not F.U. Pirate Master written on it. They use the latin to translate the clue which says, "drag your sorry asses back up the mountain". Jay and Ben are neck and neck, and go back across the rope bridge where there is a sabotage. Ben sabotages Christa by cutting down the bridge, while Jay says something like, "damn, I probably ain't getting laid tonight afterall". Christa has to stumble around another way in the jungle. She's basically done.
They have to find another pool and swim underwater and translate more latin. This one says, "dudes, the gold is next to the waterfall". Ben finds the treasure.
They drag it back on deck and host-dude opens it. It has 50K and 2 more clues for the finale. Ben, the idiot, splits the 50K with dumb and dumber. Jay and Christa have to go to Pirate Court where SURPRISE!!!!! the ghosts of contestants past make the final decision on who gets to stay.
Christa is in her lucky corset, and she gets to talk first. blah blah blah, everything I did, I did for my daughter. Jay: "hey, I know I'm a jerk but the game is pirate master, not princess master". Lots of drama as the ghosts get to speak. Kendra rips into Christa saying, basically, "I'm sick of you using your daughter as an excuse. If you want to do something for her, get a real job". Joe Dong says, "Christa was a follower, Jay was a leader". John, that weird dude, says something about how hot he is for Christa and uses the term Machiavellian , correctly I might add.
They vote. Christa gets one vote, Jay 12. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE..... Host dude says, Jay, you aren't cut adrift tonight but you will join the ghosts, who will all continue the adventure WHICH IS FAR FROM OVER......
Cue the spooky Pirate Master music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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