Pirate Master Finale-Part One

Yes, part one. The final show was 90 minutes long.

Started with a LONG recap of the past 13 weeks. Which I had to watch twice since my computer kicked me off. It didn't even want to watch.

So..... final 3: Christa, Jay and Ben get up and think that today is the final competition. ALL HANDS TO THE MID DECK . Host-Dude, Cameron (in white pants, and thank GOD I watched it tonight and not next Tuesday AFTER LABOR DAY ) , who sent them a cheese plate and 3 bottles of wine last night, tells them the lock holds the HALF MILLION TREAURE. BUT, this is not your final expedition. First, you have to find the first mate's treasure since "he holds all my secrets", which I KNOW is code for sex with the first mate. There's one more challenge before the final 2 go for the gold.

At this point, I thought of killing myself. Really.

There is only one clue, so the 3 have to go down below and copy it. I'm guessing right about now the show was canceled and Burnett had to cut costs. So, all 3 copy a map on one side and a list of latin words and their english meanings on the other. Christa says, "fortunately I know some latin". Hmmm. I guess in addition to spanish and chinese, Sesame Street now does a Latin version.

Here's the challenge: swim to shore, climb space mountain, find a sword on a rope bridge. Yes, I was yelling at the screen "and use the sword to kill both of your competitors, thereby ending the show".

They swim. they run. they get the swords, and the sheaths say go to the pool for the next clue. Ben and Jay take off running, Christa behind. Ben then Jay find the pool and swim around until they find a rock with graffiti on it. Fortunately it's really a clue, not F.U. Pirate Master written on it. They use the latin to translate the clue which says, "drag your sorry asses back up the mountain". Jay and Ben are neck and neck, and go back across the rope bridge where there is a sabotage. Ben sabotages Christa by cutting down the bridge, while Jay says something like, "damn, I probably ain't getting laid tonight afterall". Christa has to stumble around another way in the jungle. She's basically done.

They have to find another pool and swim underwater and translate more latin. This one says, "dudes, the gold is next to the waterfall". Ben finds the treasure.

They drag it back on deck and host-dude opens it. It has 50K and 2 more clues for the finale. Ben, the idiot, splits the 50K with dumb and dumber. Jay and Christa have to go to Pirate Court where SURPRISE!!!!! the ghosts of contestants past make the final decision on who gets to stay.

Christa is in her lucky corset, and she gets to talk first. blah blah blah, everything I did, I did for my daughter. Jay: "hey, I know I'm a jerk but the game is pirate master, not princess master". Lots of drama as the ghosts get to speak. Kendra rips into Christa saying, basically, "I'm sick of you using your daughter as an excuse. If you want to do something for her, get a real job". Joe Dong says, "Christa was a follower, Jay was a leader". John, that weird dude, says something about how hot he is for Christa and uses the term Machiavellian , correctly I might add.

They vote. Christa gets one vote, Jay 12. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE..... Host dude says, Jay, you aren't cut adrift tonight but you will join the ghosts, who will all continue the adventure WHICH IS FAR FROM OVER......

Cue the spooky Pirate Master music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!