Survivor Update: Episode 3

First off, sorry for the missing episode 2 summary! Good bye Ashley, we hardly knew ya.

Ok, I gotta just jump right to the end here and say, there is one less Christian in communist China today. Anyone hear Leslie's final words? Um, not to knock the whole born again Christian thing, but is it me or do y'all really think the Lord is watching Survivor? Might explain the state of affairs in the world, but still. I just can't see Jesus sitting up on a puffy cloud, looking down and seeing Leslie is a little down and handing her the kidnapping and the special clue. First of all, if he was looking down, he woulda sent a few more fig leaves to this last episode.

Does Jean-Robert look like The Rock to anyone else?? What a character. Love the snuggling and snoring. And especially LOVED the "what's better than a million dollars-a million dollars and sex" comment. Where else but Survivor do you get men REALLY being themselves? Ya certainly don't hear any of that heartfelt honesty on Dr. Phil. I do, however, totally agree with him that Courtney is an anorexic. That chick is too skinny for day 7. They'll be airlifting her off the island before the merge.

And, speaking of Courtney and the anorexia, who else would believe a crab could be stretched to feed 8 people. She was probably looking around for Tupperware for the leftovers.

Hey, when Dave finally gets the boot do you think I can hire him to do a few chores around my house. DAMN, what woman couldn't use a man like THAT. And, PG, what's up with her and the nagging. You'd of thought she didn't want him to get too tired for sex or something. OOH, Dave, don't chop those little nuts, you'll waste your strength.

Reward challenge-a little man on man and woman on woman action going on. Damn, this is some good TV. How do you suppose you get the job as pixalator on this show? Maybe Jeff does it himself, although I wouldn't want to look at some of those bodies more than once. The Victoria Secret Angels Runway show it was not. Let me just ask the men here, why would you dangle yourself out in a wrestling match?? I mean, doesn't that just give your opponent a handle to grab? Or is that the point (wink wink).

Zhan Hu wins reward, and in an ironic twist, their reward comes with Leslie, who gets the tube of immunity clues. Is it me or do the others not ask anyone HEY, WHAT'S IN THE TUBE??? Once at their camp, the tribe sings Kumbaya and everyone is dunked into a pool of water to root out the real Christians, who float. Ok, I made that part up but this Christian thing gets on my nerves. Since Leslie was busy "showing the love of Christ", I guess she didn't realize she was spilling her tribe's guts. Leslie gives Jaime the immunity clue, lest it get into the hands of a NON-BELIEVER. Jaime can't quite find the idol, but I think tomorrow she's gonna put on her tinfoil hat and better direct God's words.

Immunity challenge. I think the challenge had to do with chopping ropes to get heavy wooden disks, assembling them and then dragging them over the finish line. But, basically it became a challenge of how long Courtney could roll her eyes and whimper about doing work. Man, she is so damn annoying. When she finally saws through the rope, the rest of her team HAULs ASS to make up for her. Unfortunately, it isn't enough and immunity goes to Zhan Hu.

At this point, I was SURE Courtney would be going, especially since she then spent the next 20 minutes of show time holding her limp useless hands up in front of everyone's face. Instead, the vote goes between Leslie and Jean-Robert, with Leslie sealing her own fate by rambling on about the other tribe's heart.