Survivor Week 2

Fans are having a rough time at camp. C'mon, don't these SUPER fans all have Survivor journals where they make believe they are gonna be on the show and plan out their shelter, firemaking and water gathering skills? I mean, really, I can't be the ONLY one who plays Survivor out in the backyard and makes my husband dress up as Jeff Probst, can I?? And don't even get me started at how they couldn't even start a fire with a flint.

While the cool kids play with their flint, the misfits (Kathy, Chet and Tracy) set about putting up a shelter for themselves. Ok, tonight when you watch Survivor, please take a close look at Kathy and tell me she is not a drag queen. Once they build their shelter, the cool kids come around and ask Tracy how to build one for them. This done, fire amazingly erupts. All is right with the world and the tribe feasts on clams. Apparently clams are an aphrodisiac, and Mikey and Mary start purring at each other.

On the favorites beach, also known as Temptation Island, Amanda/Ozzy and James/Parvati continue to stroke and play with each other. Since they have shelter, food, water and fire, it's time to try the Survivor logo condoms I guess. And, YOU KNOW all I was thinking was, eeewwwww nobody's brushed their teeth in days.

Reward and Immunity Challenge: First, the swimmers will race out, one-by-one, to a floating tower, climb to the top, and jump off while smashing a suspended tile, releasing a key into the water below. The swimmer must dive down, retrieve the key, and bring it back to shore. Once all five keys are collected, the key-master will open a series of locks on a chest containing puzzle-pieces. The puzzle-makers will use the puzzle-pieces to assemble a map of Micronesia (Survivor geography lesson #1). Poooor Chet. You just knew he wouldn't be athletic. He loses his key and basically loses the challenge for the fans. In addition to winning immunity, the favs get to send one person from the loser tribe to Exhale Island. But wait, there's more! One of them has to go too. Kathy is chosen and Cirie elects to go with her. With only 1 brain working, they are unable to find the idol.

Fans return to camp and try to decide who to vote off. Mickey starts doing complicated vote algebra and loses everyone. Joel gets sick of it and convinces the others to vote out Mickey's squeeze, Mary.