Survivor Update Episode 11

Man, this is definitely the season of mean-ass, back stabbing, manipulative women! But, enough about the Pennsylvania primary.

After last week's most shocking rose ceremony ever, James is left holding the FAV male bag, as it were. We also find out in minute 1 that he has a cut, and it isn't healing. Um, how did Micronesians live this long in this bacterial wasteland??

James confronts Parv in what is an amusing episode of The Playyyaaaaa gets Playyyed. I'm guessing Parv's fantasies of being Mrs. Gravedigger aren't gonna come true. Amanda does the big eyed, I'm so upset James thing.

Up next, the always interesting Survivor Auction. This time up, no sharing of money and no sharing of food.
Cirie wins first and buys a hot dog and fried for $120 (and, the Lincoln Field management takes note)
Eric spends $80 on Octopus which he fortunately traded out for Nachos.
Natalie spends $240 on Fruit bat soup, which James takes off her hands and eats.
Amanda springs for a PB&J at $280.

Natalie spends $240 for a bottle with a note, that says she has to send someone immediately to Exile Island. Being the quick little bunny that she is, she ask Jeff if the immunity idol has been replaced. Jeff, who probably was supposed to read that cue card, promptly explains that since Oz never played it a new one has been hidden. She thinks, hmmmmm, but then sends Jason to Exile anyway, probably knowing none of her women buddies are smart enough to find it.

The auction comes to a close with Natalie (who also got Jason's coin) spending $380 for a chocolate cake which she got 60 seconds to eat with 3 friends. In the MOST disgusting moments of Survivor history, Cirie (THE NURSE) sells her fingers to lick to Eric for $40. Ok, here's what creeps me out. They don't have toilet paper, they don't have soap and water, and they don't have Purel dispensers on every tree. Have they never heard of e coli??

On the walk back to the camp, the girls all bitch about Natalie sending Jason to Exile and giving him a chance to find the idol.

In about 5 minutes on the island, Jason in fact finds the idol. He waxes poetic about Natalie and his alliance. Yea. Natalie, the motivational speaker, would eat her own young if it would get her somewhere.

The ladies hatch a plan that Natalie will trick Jason into throwing the immunity challenge. And, can I just say, OK OK, I GET THE SPINNING A WEB THEME. Christ, it was almost like a National Geographic special on the black widow spider with all the SUBTLE shots of AUTHENTIC MICRONESIAN SPIDERS.

Immunity Challenge: Deja Vu. Which is kind of ironic since their have actually been no original challenges this season anyway. So, it's a series of tile breaking, puzzle sorting, key digging, plank walking and rope bridges. Yea, I think that was it.

Jason returns to the tribe and Natalie whispers that she has a plan for them. I think that's what she whispers. Either that or "you are so hot I want you now". Either way, Jason hears the latter.

OK, I could go on and on about the challenge, but basically Erik wins. Everyone is all happy because, let's face it, he is one of the girls. Erik points out repeatedly that it's his 22nd birthday, so it is a good thing he saved his auction money to get himself AN AUTHENTIC MICRONESIAN HO and some betel nut.

Back at camp, the ladies go through Jason's stuff right in front of James and find the idol. I guess it is hard to see a BIG BLACK MAN sitting in the middle of a bunch of women.

Natalie works on Jason, telling him the plan is to vote out James, and getting him to not use the idol, thereby confirming THE CURSE OF THE IMMUNITY IDOL. Will this damn thing ever be used for it's original purpose??

OK, before I give away the BIG SURPRISE ENDING, did anyone catch what Ozzy was wearing when they showed the jury? It was like, a 1890's bathing suit. Very weird. Ok. The ladies split their votes between James and Jason, in case Jason does play the idol, he doesn't and is the next member of the jury.