Amazing Race Week 4

Ok, first up, yes I had computer problems last week but we had a new computer by last Sunday, BUT the new browser didn't allow me to go over to cbs.com AT THE VERY END OF WRITING THE ENTIRE SUMMARY to check on the order teams came in WITHOUT ERASING THE ENTIRE FRIGGIN UPDATE. Screw THAT.



It's a shame cause it was really really funny. I basically busted on Brad and Victoria who, while first admitting Brad was a recovering drug and alcohol addict, proceeded to get themselves on a plane bound for drug and alcohol capital of the world Amsterdam, and managed to delay the plane long enough so they would get stuck overnight and smoke all of the CRACK they could on the $259 AR allotted for this leg of the race. I also bagged on the wicked smart Asians cause in the first roadblock girl Asian couldn't do ANY gymnastics, because her parents took her to Child Genius Suzuki Violin lessons instead of gymboree. Yea, I had some zingers. And, then, boy Asian got them lost out in the woods cause he was following the Keebler elves directions to the Whore Tree instead of the yellow and red standard issue Race signs. Yea, it was great. Anyway, Brad and Victoria were the last, stoned, team to arrive.



Whew, on to his week which I have to write up fast cause my post-baptist church boozy lunch is kicking in and I'm getting tired. We start out in Braun, Romania overlooking Dracula's castle. First team to leave is Gay-N-Son who leave at 10:49 pm and have to fly through Moscow to Siberia (oh, and since I got screwed looking up details and spellings on the cbs site, you are getting my phonetic spellings today. Deal with it.) Once in Siberia they have to go to a hydroelectric dam. Right about now Gay-son is yammering about how his dad is part Woody Allen, Betty Grable and Judy Garland. I think that's what he said. Either that or he gets a woody when he dresses up as Judy Garland.



Oh, and just before I forget, if at any time I offend anyone with my comments, my apologies. They head to the airport. Christi and Jodi (Air Ho's) go to an internet cafe on the say. The mini-men borrow a phone and instead of calling a travel agent, they somehow call the NFL chicks. One of the NFLs cons him by acting like a travel agent and telling him there are no flights. There are lots of connection choices now that Siberia is a HOT vacation spot. However, only one flight from Moscow. 5 of the teams miss the connection in Moscow and have to take a 5:40 am flight but the Dam doesn't open until 8:30 am anyway. Once at the Dam, they get a clue to go to some Church (my notes actually say Church St. blahblahblah).



Detour: Stack or Construct. Teams have to stack firewood or construct a set of shutters and install them on a house. Beware the BLIND U-TURN. Everyone starts doing the wood. It's a bitch because there already is one wall of wood and you have to stack it so that the new wall doesn't fall and knock the other one down. The mini-men knock down their wall and go to do the shutter detour. They Gay-son woodpile also falls, as does the NFLers. All change to the shutters.



The sistas get their wood stacked and get a clue to go to some Museum. Once there, it's a Roadblock. They have to bobsled around a track in 4 minutes while finding 7 letters that spell the name of a famous Russian author. Kisha goes first, finishes in under 4 minutes but only found 6 letters. She has to wait and go again. Christie gets all 7 letters but has never heard of CHEKHOV. Kisha gets all 7 letters the second time, but doesn't know Chekhov.



Back at the woodpile, the Deaf-N-mom finish the pile and GASP use the blind u-turn on Amanda and Kris. BASTARDS!!!!! Amanda and Kris knock down their woodpile and go to do the shutters.



At the shutters, the mini-men have been walking around this little sorry ass town for EVER and can't find the sign that says, "Yo, we need some shutters". The Gay-n-sons, and Amanda and Kris join them and all walk around with their heads up their asses until Gay-dad finally finds it.



The NFLs finally restack their wood. Amanda and Kris get to the roadblock and HAVE TO GO BACK AND DO THE OTHER DETOUR, which means I am basically screwed. Kisha guesses Chekhov finally, as does Christie. They now have to go the Theater of Musical Comedy and enter the main entrance for the Pitt stop.



Nobody friggin knows Chekhov, except the wicked smart Asian dude. Deaf-Luke can't get Checkhov cause his schooling has probably been limited and because if you had to read checkhov in sign language you would choke yourself to death. He is panicking. He finally just guesses a million times and gets it right.



Everyone gets it and races to the Pittstop while my team is still stacking wood.Christie and Jodi are team #1 and get motorcycles. It comes down to the mini-men and Amanda and Kris. The mini-men for some reason don't have enough $$ for the cabdriver and get delayed arguing about it. Or, at least, CBS wants you to think that happened. But, alas, the driver takes what they have and they make it across the finish line before Amanda and Kris, who are eeeeeliminated.