Survivor Brazil Week 4

Yo, did y'all miss me last week?? Damn computer hard drive went and we were without internet for AN ENTIRE WEEK. It was the longest week in my life. So, no update. If I have time someday I may recreate the update from last week, but if not, bye bye Jerry. You should have brought Beeno as your one personal item.OK.

It's now time in Survivor to get out our rulers and measure our dicks. Who is the leader of Timbura? Errin pissed Coach off last tribal council by saying Brendan was a better leader than Coach cause coach is a passive aggressive NUTJOB. Erinn is THE CANCER OF THE TRIBE, and I want her head on a plate.

The next day, the tribe elects Brendan as leader, which Coach agrees with but secretly seethes with envy and states that he is stronger than Brendan. Yea, he's just been saving his strength in all of the challenges that he sucked on. Oh, and since I am already bagging on Coach, where the hell does he buy his clothes?? A renaissance fair or something? I mean, what is that style-country western meets disco meets granola?? Every time he wears that black jacket with the thing on it I want to sing "eye of the tiger".

Over on Jalapeno, Taj brings wimpy Stephen into her alliance with Brendan and Sierra. "The biggest upset in Survivor history". hmmm, we'll see. Brendan doesn't get around to sharing the info with Sierra.

Challenge: Woooohooooo. It ain't a friggin puzzle. Who can shoulder the weight?? 2 men and 1 woman from each tribe have to have weights hung on them to see who can outlast. For Jalapeno it's Joe, Taj and JT; Timbura sets up Brendan, Debra and Tyson. Hmmm, why not send up the herculeanly strong Coach??

Brendan goes out first at 180 lbs, followed by Tyson at 140. JT takes on the Rupert record of 220 lbs before dropping out, Joe is out at 140 also. The challenge comes down to TAJ and Debra. OH, wanna know what you're playing for?? A chance to raid the other camp and steal 2 items. Crap, coach better hide that jacket.

Debra drops out at 100 lbs and Taj wins the challenge for Jalapeno. Sierra and Taj head off to exile island. Timbura hurries back to their camp to hide the good stuff. JT and Joe arrive and decide to take just one container of water and one of their 2 bags of beans, thinking there might be a camp or tribe switch and they wouldn't want to be stuck on Timbura without any food.

Once back at Jalapeno, Raggedy Sandy freaks out on them with her good ol' southern logic: "It’s like you gots a hunnert guns, we'sjust gonna take seventy-five of ‘em. You kin keep twenty-five (she's quick with the math) and shoot at us later!” Sandy's meds are wearing off and she is annoying EVERYONE. She repeats everything 3 times, including "Them are farting beans". I think she is slowly dehydrating, if you ask me.

Sandy is getting annoyed at Sydney who is hitting up on all the men.

On exhale island, Taj gets the urn with the clue. She tells Sierra about her and Brendan's alliance and Sierra "gets goose bumps".

Back on Timbura, they decide to have a lazy day. Tyson dresses in a loincloth and jumps around yelling "booga booga" to the hysteria of everyone but sullen Erinn. Ahh, Erinn gets her one on one camera face time to audition her acting skills by doing her "I just suffered a breakup" routine. Tyson and the others comment on the stick up Erinn's ass, and Tyson is looking forward to seeing her "freak out" at Tribal when she is voted off.

Immunity Challenge: Shit, it's a puzzle again.

One tribe member at a time will race out on a zigzagged course, retrieve a puzzle piece and race back, at which point the next person will go. Once all eight puzzle pieces have been collected, they must be placed in the correct spot in a frame and rotated to spell out the winning phrase.

I'm hoping the winning phrase is not "Drink More Ovaltine". It's neck and neck until Sydney can't get her knot undone and Timbura moves ahead. Timbura is first to get the phrase “Escape the vote: Timbira wins immunity.”

Back at Jalapeno, Sandy is the obvious annoying choice. In the post race bath, Taj is talking WITH SANDY RIGHT THERE about how how much better Sandy is a the challenges than Sierra. JT and Stephen don't want to vote the sugar off. Cut to Sydney : "I am enjoying he sneakiness of the game".

Tribal Council: Sandy is confident that she isn't going. JT states that she is the mother figure of the tribe which says more about what a dysfunctional family it is. Sandy brings up Sydney's flirting. Jeff: "JT, is Sydney wearing your boxers?? Are YOU wearing her underwear??" Sandy tells Jeff, WHILE WINKING AT HIM, "Tomorrow there might be people upset". Yea, but not on Jalapeno as Sandy is the 4th person voted off.