Survivor Update: Regrets, I have a few...

Jeez, how can it possibly be Thursday already? Man oh man. Let's see what my drunken Survivor notes from last week say, shall we?


Sooo, Rob was voted out last time, and I am still upset about that. Can't believe I was actually rooting for him after all these years of watching the reality whore. Russell is all crazy eyed. Seriously, it's like his pupils are constantly dilated with evil. Coach is upset about the vote, WHICH IS HIS OWN DAMN FAULT. Now Jerri is also wondering if she made the wrong choice. YES. The simple answer is YES. I keep wondering if these people watched the last season with Etroll, although I know Coach blogged about it. Coach:" Now I'm forced to go in that direction. We're in the crapper and are praying for the merge". Hey, you lazy mo'fo how about doing some OUT-FREAKING-PLAYING and peeling some people away from the Coach alliance? What would Gandhi do? Gandhi would be kicking some ass right about now, if you ask me. As would Buddha. Notice I am not even calling him the dragon slaya today, because a REAL FREAKING dragon slaya wouldn't walk away from a fight with a little fat, dirty assed, crazy eyed dragon. Nooooo sir. A real FREAKING dragon slaya would be going all Gandhi-Buddha on the troll.

Let's see what's up in Heroland. JT goes to find the new idol. Which reminds me, WHY ISN'T THAT FAT, DIRTY ASSED, CRAZY DRAGON looking for the second idol like he did last season? Sorry, I got distracted. Amanda follows JT to see what he's doing. Her ass cheeks are hanging out of her shorts. Bing, I now christen her "Ass Cheeks". JT finds the idol, hidden once again by the American Samoa brownie troop #486. He tells Ass Cheeks about it, then tells Candace. They urge him to 'come clean". And then doves fly out of they butts. JT tells the others, and says "let's forget about it and save it for the one of us who needs it after the merge". Candace and Ass Cheeks doubt JT is, let's face it, that stupid. He's the golden boy. He's "in" with everybody. Candace wants him gone. (drink)

The villains are hungry. Apparently eating your own isn't filling. Coach tells Jerri to suck it up and be a ninja that can survive without food. LMAO. The day my husband tells me that, he is a dead man walking.
Everyone is hoping for the merge. The Villains pack up all their shit and take it to the challenge.

Challenge! Dark Blue!! Let's welcome the new Villain tribe, without Rob. oooooooh. Rupert " sure looks like a woman's alliance making the decisions". 'Troll's pupils dilate a little more. Colby is confused why they brought their shit. "What did they read into the clue that we missed??"
Jeff: "See all that food over there? You will all have an opportunity to enjoy it. But....... first.........drop...........your............expectations. No merge today. LOL!! I love when my man bitch slaps them all. Kind of reminds me of the other night at the Motel 6 in Pottstown...but I digress.

Reward challenge: Bowling, or as my mother always called it "Polish Night Out". No offense to bowlers. Ah, the Tiki Bowl is in business.

Pervhottie is up against Rupert. Perv rolls a gutter ball, Rupert gets 3 pins. Perv rolls another gutter and the Hero's are up 1-0. Clearly we are not playing by real rules.

JT vs Danielle. JT gets 6 pins first try, Danielle gets 0 although Jeff has to friggin say she has good form. I'll show him good form... JT gets nutin on his second roll, Danielle, another bunch of nothing. Heroes up by 2.

Troll vs Colby. Troll rolls a gutter. EAT IT TROLL. Colby, rolls a 0 with a faggot little bounce. Second ball: Troll gets a 5, Colby a 1. Heroes 2: Villains 1.

Coach vs Ass Cheeks. Coach rolls a 5! As does Ass Cheeks!!! Coach gets another pin for 6 but....Ass Cheeks kicks it with 2 pins and Heroes win reward.

Heroes feast on bowling junk food. They are the "fantastic 5" in their minds. Lots of discussion: Crazy to vote out Rob! It's clearly an all woman alliance over there? They want the hero girls to get right in and bond with them when the merge happens. "I love you all". LOL. That'll last...

Back at camp. Happy land! Jerri: "Everyone on this tribe is an idiot." I could not agree more. "We should never have voted Rob out". Jerri and Sandra go at it because Russell told them to sit out. Sandra "now it's my fault??" "I hate them all".

Sandra and Courtney talk. "if Russell thinks someone is gunning for him, he gets rid of them. Let's put the 'Coach wants Russell gone' bug in his ear.

Coach is telling Courtney he hates everyone. Troll sees them talking "I will tell them this is how we're voting and that's done". God I want a job at his company!! Sandra mentions that Coach regrets Rob going and wants YOU gone". BING!!! It's like magic. "He's going behind my back and digging his own grave".

LOL. Sandra is so smart. 'He don't know what he got himself in with". The troll tells Pervhottie, "We have to get rid of Coach so the Heroes think it's a woman's alliance and the men will come straight to me." He's still chewing on that woman calling the shots claim, obviously.

Immunity Challenge. Light Blue. My notes say, "belted in pairs, under and over obstacles for flags". Hmmm, I have no memory of that. I think there's some mud involved. Screw it, Heroes win immunity. Courtney apparently hurts her ankle.

Villainland of Fun!! Coach, "it was like going to a spa". The dragon slaya is just coming into his own. Because he beat fat Rupert. LOL. Coach thinks he should get rid of Russell (HELLLOOOOOOOOOO), but decides on Courtney.

Coach asks the Troll, "any funny stuff going on I should know about?" Troll, "I'll send home who I want to".

Danielle wants to keep Coach, get rid of Courtney. She argues with Courtney. Courtney " if you keep Coach and lose, your ass is on the line". Danielle doesn't know what to do. Sandra and Courtney, Russell and Danielle are arguing. The Troll now says he wants to keep Coach. Pervhottie thinks it's all absurd.

Tribal. Hmmm, I call it Slate Blue, Donna calls it green.
Jeff: so, you got rid of Tyson and Rob and now have suffered 4 straight loses. Danielle: they were big threats.
Coach was the only person who won a point in bowling.
Courtney: You sit out most challenges. "I didn't vote for Rob".
Coach "People are laughing at us". Yes, dragon slaya they are. I get the impression that, more than anything else, bothers Coach.
Courtney rolls her eyes. "He only wanted to eat". Coach "so I'm the problem??" Jeff "that's what I heard". Oh, SNAP.
Jeff "You are all making decisions based upon a potential merge that might not happen"
Troll: "If you can keep the tribe stronger and keep the trust, that's what I'm doing tonight.
Time to vote. Courtney 3, Coach 4. Coach becomes the first member of the Jury.
Jeff, who is just so dayam smart: "The problem with trust is you don't know it's gone until it's too late". Ohhh, I got chills. I think I need to publish a book of Jeff-isms.