Survivor Update: Back to the Holler, Jane.

Tonigggghhhhhttttt, tonigggghhhhhtttt won't be just aaaaany night, as toniggggghhhhhtttttt Sash is gonna win me the poooooool.


Yo, what up? Can you believe we're already at the end of this loooong, drawn out and frankly not that interesting season? My baby will be flying his military helicopter out to Spring City tonight with that fake wooden vote box tucked tightly in that overly developed biceps arm, with his dark blue shirt on. Mmmmmm.

But first a recap and 2 hours of show tonight. Not to mention the post show where Jeff will RIP into ohnoyoudon't and Kelly.

So, Wednesday night. Sash is all, "i'm in control". Kiss of death, Sash.

Fabio gets his close up: "They think I'm more gullible and stupid than I really am. Next couple of days will be funny when they realize how smart I really am". Um, OR NOT FABIO.

Tree mail comes with a cell phone. Oh, sorry, I am contractually required to say it is a SPRINT CELL PHONE. EVO 4G to be specific. It takes pictures and videos. And, get this, it has a clock!!! "To fill your belly you'll have to be first".

Challenge: I'm calling it almost dark blue. He is such a dimpled little tease. Dear Santa, I have been a very very bad girl...

The winner of today's challenge will set sail, eat a meal...WITH YOUR LOVED ONES who all come running out.

JESUS CHRIST. These moms are so damn young and hot. WTF?? What happened to old ladies being moms??

Chase: mom is young
Fabio: again, young mom
Sash: mom
Dan: son Matthew
Jane's daughter
Holly's husband-"we missed our 25th anniversary for this" Ohhh, good one. Wonder if it's true??

The challenge is: Survivors run into the water for 2 bags of PUZZLE PIECES and then their loved ones solve the word puzzle. Gee, you think the word FAMILY is gonna be in the puzzle??

Dan is really really slow running out to get his puzzle pieces. Fabio and Chase are first in. Chase's mom gets the puzzle, "Family Comes First".
Chase gets to chose someone to go with him. hahaha, Do Not Fuck This One Up. Sash, would you like to come?? LOL. You can also chose another person.......

Chase chooses Holly and her husband. Dan's son is upset, "He's a scumbag". Fabio is all crying because he 'only gets to see his mom twice a year'. Why? Is she in prison?? Get your ASS home to see yo Momma boy.
Back at camp, Fabio is mad, and is having a cry feast. Jane's upset, "he told me he was taking me". "I'm #4 in my alliance"

On the boat, the Survivors are grubbing it. Their loved ones are too grossed out by their smell and probably how scary they are stuffing their faces to eat anything. "Final 3 is right here babeeee". Chase finds the final clue to the immunity idols but they already have them.

Back at camp, it's late and everyone is asleep. Fabio takes on Chase. Chase apologizes but Fabio doesn't buy it.

Day 36. Challenge: Light Blue, He better not be shagging one of those hot mammas.

Survivors will be blindfolded and have to go over/under a hitching post, use their hands to figure out a puzzle and bring back pieces to do some shield thing. It seems hard but I kept thinking there were outlines on the puzzle board? Dan is totally lost in the wilderness. Man, if he is playing the "not a threat and not that smart game" he's a total genius.

Fabio thinks he has it? No, but he redoes it and wins immunity!!! He is a mensa member, I can just feel it.

Fabio tells Chase Jane has to go. He won't do it. Chase, Sash and Holly talk. Jane. Chase doesn't want to do it. So, as I yelled at the TV, LET CHASE VOTE FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR CHRIST SAKE. Jane walks up to them all, "Is it Dan??" Crickets. "Is it me???" Chase asks the others, "is that what YOU ALL want?" Sash: "We all think you can win it". SHUT THE HELL UP SASH. haha, I think we can safely not count her jury vote for Sash...

Jane goes all nuts, throwing water on the fire. I STARTED IT, I'LL PUT IT OUT. She is one tough old lady. But ya gotta like it.

Tribal, lighter blue. Bah Humbug.

Let's bring in the Jury with mad Benry.

Dan, crazy afternoon? Yes, Jeff, your crew told you right, Jane dashed the fire.
Jane: HELL YEA. I started that fire. There is no loyalty here, they are all liars and backstabbers. End of Story.
Jeff: haha, I think beginning of story...
Jane in full Witches of Macbeth mode: Holly, $1400 stolen shoes, had a 4 way alliance with me, screwed me.
Chase: she was in our alliance but she would have won it all
Jeff, who's next? Dan and Fabio, whichever doesn't get immunity.
Dan and Fabio nod.
Fabio-are you hearing this?? Why not their own alliance?
Jane: Right, why not us 3 vote Holly off??
Dan, That would make sense...
Fabio: It's crazy but, yes it would make sense.
Holly: now, now, we all came here with a plan...
Chase: I'm sooo confused.
Time to vote. Anyone want to play an idol?? Both Chase and Sash almost break their legs to play them. Jane is voted off.
Good luck all tonight, and don't get too upset when SASH wins the moooooola for me.