The Survivor Episode Comcast Didn't Want Me To See

Ok, first of all, for the record, this summary is late due to NO FAULT OF MY OWN.  First my brother called during the episode last week.  I know, I know, WHY DID I ANSWER THE PHONE???  Next, I tried to watch it on demand, and my cable went out for an hour.  So I just finally got through it and.....my Dad called during the tally'n of the votes!  And if you've been following my Dad drama on FB,  I had to take the call :)

Sooooooooo, at the last minute, here's the update!

As we all remember, Oz's squeeze Elyse was voted off to Redemption last week, in an amazing blindside.  Oz is PISSED.  Like, seriously throw in the towel and forget I'm playing Survivor PISSED.  He rants to Woody how blindsides are telling.... yea, rant to Woody who you've tried to get rid of every week.  He announces to all that "I'm now a free agent playing for myself".  Whitney tries to tell him it wasn't personal and he's all yelling.  Dawn says, "give me a  break, you hide stuff from us all the time".  Oz "oh yea???  How's this for hiding stuff, I HAVE THE IDOL".  LOL, epic fail. 

OMG, he's a baby.  All righteously indignant.  Every one's griping about him. Jim is loving the hissy fit.  "He's just gonna take his ball and go home".  Well, he's gonna take his ball and sit in full view of everyone and do yoga on a rock.  Woody has the final comment on the night "he really is behaving like a stupid  bitch". 

On blue, Coach is all crazy happy about finding the idol.  He told Sophie and Albert but isn't telling Brandon.  Brandon wakes up all after the clue like a rabid dog, running around sniffing for the clue which he of course being a Hanz finds in the tree trunk.  Because that's where Hanz's hide all their valuables and illegal weapons.  He shows Coach the clue, because he has a perverse need for approval, then he goes all bloodhound on the beach looking for the idol.  It's really extreme insanity.  Nobody now wants to tell him Coach has the idol because he's OBSESSED.  Funny though, you'd have thought GOD would have given him the 411.  Coach is getting a little freaked, having a Russell flashback.

Duel.  It's Elyse vs  bedraggled Christine.  Sophie and Rich, and Oz and Keith are watching.  Jeff: "Christine, redemption has become your home".  Yes, unfortunately.  "It's really hard, boohooo".  Shaddup. 

Today's challenge is....shuffleboard.  C'mon, stop letting grampa design these challenges for god sake.  Rick calls to Christine, "Come on, you can do it"  and she gives him the finger. 

OK, so it's shuffleboard.  'Nuf said.  Even trying to make it look interesting, it's not.  Christine wins and has to shuffle off to redemption.  Rick and Sophie discuss that if she comes back into the game, she's gonna kill them all.  Which is probably true.

Blue tribe.  Rick and Sophie tell the tribe what a hag Christine has become.  Not too many shocked faces.

Edna is still cozying up to Coach, who gets tingles down one leg whenever she's around.  He calls her "my little friend out here".  Yea, kinda strange.  She tells him "we'd be a good, unsuspected team".  He tells her not to worry, she's safe and Mikayla is the next to go.  He asks her if she's "ready to follow him into battle".  There is just something creepy about the whole thing. 

On Red, Oz realizes what a douchebag he was and tells Keith he's willing to look past it.  He then apologizes to the whole tribe.  Jim is loving it.  He's got no where to go without us. 

Challenge: Race to assemble an IKEA wheelbarrow, drive it through a half assed maze and load it up with coconuts.  Then reassemble the wheelbarrow into a slingshot and fire the coconuts at targets.

Wanna know what you're playing for?  A trip to sliding rocks water slide, and lunch. 

Oz and Dawn are trying to move the wheelbarrow in one of the most unmatched pairs I've ever seen.  Blue gets a big lead.  But then when it comes to shooting coconuts, Mikayla sucks it big time, HEY USE BOTH HANDS!!! Coach suggests to her over and over again to sit down and let Albert and him shoot the nuts but she refuses.  Red of course wins immunity and a visit to wallyworld. 

It's a giant Red tribe bonding experience.  Nice lunch and then some play time.  Even Woody, who is terrified of nature in general goes down the slide. 

Blue.  Albert wants to keep Mikayla and ditch Edna.  He tells her this and tells her he can work on Coach.  He makes the case to the others for Edna going.  She's too smart and too weak to keep.  Everyone pretty much agrees. 

Albert talks to Brandon.  He now doesn't like Edna, doesn't like her face.  Says she looks like she's trying to fool me.  But he wants to be a radical for God (aka terrorist??) so he's gonna stick with Edna because they once had an alliance and get rid of Mikayla.  Who apparently doesn't give him the hards anymore. 

Albert talks to Coach.  It's Edna.  Coach says no, because it's his fault that they lost the challenge.  Mikayla refused to listen to him and is therefore unloyal.  Edna would have done what she was told. 

Coach talks to Rick.  There's railroading going on.  Edna will do what she's told.  It's basically all in Rick's hands.

Tribal.

It's BORING.  All back and forth about strength and loyalty.  Is it better to use strength to get to the merge with numbers, or be certain of loyalty when you get to the merge?  HEY, IS IT BETTER TO GET TO THE MERGE WITH A RADICAL FOR GOD??? They never listen when I yell at the screen. 

Brandon pipes up, "I don't get this.  We already agreed that Edna is our 6th person.  Vote me out today if we're not gonna stick with loyalty".  DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!  "If it's not about loyalty, then you can just throw that million dollars in the fire".  Which tells me Brandon is playing a much different, more psychologically insane game than Survivor. 

Coach: you can be too honest in this game...
Brandon :You can't tell a half lie, you can's smoke half a cigarette (well, actually you can), you can't have a little lasciviousness.  THE WORLD IS BLACK AND WHITE. 

Time to vote! 

Edna 3, Mikalya 5.  Christine, some competition is coming your way!