So, basically I can no longer remember when I blog and when I forget. Last week, Ernie and the most annoying fiance used their Xpress pass but still got beat by the awesome snowboarders! Bro and Sis Justin and Jennifer were shown the door.




This week starts in Malawi. And if you're like me, you had no fucking idea where Malawi was because, duh!! It used to be called Nyasaland. I know, right?? These little shitty countries try to hide from me by changing their names all the time. I mean, hell yea, it DID work for Allegheny Airlines after they flew into that mountain but still. I'm wondering what happened to the pennies I collected last Halloween and mailed "To the Poor Nyasalander Children".



So anyway, teams have to exchange their Malawian kwachas (the monetary unit of Malawi) and fly to Copenhagen, Denmark, which the brain scholar "boy who sailed 'round the world" friggin mispronounced. Once in Denmark, they have to drive a FORD FOCUS (DING DING DING) to some bell tower. Yea, all the names of stuff are in denmarkian and have like, too many vowels for me to remember.



Caution: This leg of the race has a double U-turn. Cindy wipes the evil drool off her chin and says, "we're totally using it, even if we don't need to". Ernie, OPEN YOUR EYES. There is time to run from this little smeagol. Me want the precious trip for 2 from Travelocity priiiiiizzzzzzeeeeeeee.



So they're all booked on an Malawi Airlines 8:20 am arriving flight via Amsterdam but hey, if you want to be safe and fly a different airline go right ahead and find a different connection. Dad and Sailorboy decide to fly via London. Basically because he had some kind of accent that might be Londonese or might be Australian. Everyone else decides to try their luck at the Amsterday connection. Only Amani and Marcus decide to stick with the original plan, and take naps in the airport while everyone else gets into Copenhagen the night before.



But, the bell tower doesn't open until the morning. Amani and Marcus are only 1 hour behind not the 12 AR kept advertising.



So, teams climb up the tower and look for their clues. One is a banner saying "borg slot" and another is on a rooftop saying "Fredericks". But for some reason they keep folding the rooftop one up. They have to find Frederickborg Slot" which is a castle. Jeremy and Sandy manage to fight their way to the wrong castle and have to go back. They run into Amani and Marcus at the bell tower.



At the castle: it's a roadblock. Teams have to learn to dance. For some reason we are forced to learn that the Grandparents met in high school or younger and have been together for years and years, and Smeagol and Ernie met in a bar. A very very very DARK bar I am sure.



Ernie and Sailorboy get in costume and makeup (I believed Cindy made Ernie practice crossdressing for months) and learn a 3 part dance. Sairboy sucks. Ernie gets it first and they learn they have to drive the FORD FOCUS (DING DING DING) to oh, shit, I don't know but there is a postbox with the clue.



Marcus doesn't like to stop fir directions...



Sailorboy sucks at the dance.



Grandma, Snowboarders pass them. Sailorboy sucks and his loving dad is bashing him, because he could dance back in the day when he was a frontman for a rock and roll band. Yea, keep telling your stories old man... He finally gets it 4th, but Sandy is already dancing. The NFLs are lost. They get out of their car to finally ask for directions and nobody stops to help the very large black man.



Detour: All Hopped Up or All Churned Up. Teams can either make butter or make rabbits do a steeple chase. Most teams take the butter because animals are unpredictable. Which is a shame because the rabbit thing was totally adorable and easy.



Ernie and Smeagol finish the butter first. They have to head towards some Windmill where there is a U-turn. Even though they are in first, Smeagol wants the precious trip for 2 priiiiiiizzzzzzeeeeeeee. Ernie doesn't want to use the U-turn, and as every argument they are gonna have for the next 50 years of their married life ends, they use the U-turn against the Grandparents.



Teams have to drive to the Havet Ship pit stop.



The grandparents U-turn the Dad and Sailorboy. Fortunately the rabbits are easy. Right about now the NFLs get to the dance thing.



Ernie and Smeagol come in first and I was PRAYING Phil would say, here's a clue you bitch, you're still racing. But, alas, they won a trip to Fiji where they can honeymoon while he heals from the castration.



Jeremy and Sandy figure out they're going in the entirely wrong direction...at least twice. The dad and sailorboy get lost too. Dad is just ranting. It comes down to which pair of these two is less lost and hits less traffic. And.......it's Dad and Son who are OUT.