Hello people!!  I'm going to try to bang through this update because I have wrapping and buying and baking and cleaning to do still!!  Is it me or is this a VERY late finale??  Late or not this has been a spectacular season of Survivor game play!!  Particularly once Jeff shut the HELL up with the David and Goliath junk philosophy.

So we begin this episode after that amazing tribal where Christian played his idol and Gabby ended up on the jury.  Christian still got 5 votes and is now suspecting Nick's motives.  

Nick surmises that there is another idol in play.  While looking for it he decides to make a fake idol and hides it, hoping someone will find it and try to use it. But like a kid on Christmas, that idol was burning a whole in him and he decided, in front of Ang and Christian to pull it out and pretend to find it to give himself time to find the real one.  He thinks, HOW EASY WAS THAT!!  And now the search is over.  

Nick tells Kara about the idol.  Davie hears the story as well but doesn't believe it.  He must know Nick is a snake by now.  He wonders, "what if that was his old idol?" and decides to keep looking-tells Christian he is gonna need all the help he can get to take him out.  Christian isn't so sure about taking him out because, like everyone left, they need someone WORSE to hide behind.  

Reward challenge:  Untangle enough rope to get through an obstacle course and to the beanbag throw.  Of course you also need enough rope to pick up the missed bean bags but not everyone thinks of that in their initial zeal.  Wanna know?  A helicopter ride to a resort where they can order off the menu.  Including the Fijian bang bang with the happy ending, Jeff??  Davie wins reward.  Davie is also a dead ringer for Lavar Burton in his starring role as Kunta Kinte in Roots with his bandana on his neck and his stroooong black sweaty chest.  

Who so you want to join you in an afternoon in the big Massa's house Kunta?  I'll take Master Nick.  You get another pick but does anyone want to plead their case?  Angelina plays her Rice Card ONE MORE TIME.  He picks Kara.  Ang thinks Davie  just made a million dollar mistake.....  

Returning to camp Ang is STILL ANGRY she can't still be using that rice as a cudgel.  I mean, what's the point of using your YALE SKILLS on these low class people?  She decides to make herself a big old pot of revenge rice, which apparently is NOT best eaten cold.

On the reward Davie explains he wanted to keep his frenemies (Nick) close and his friends (Kara) closer.  I must have missed his bonding with Kara.  He decides while on the reward he will talk to Kara about getting rid of Nick.  She tells him that Nick might have 2 idols.  He needs to go.  Davie says they need to blindside him.  Whatever we do, DO NOT TELL NICK OR ANGELINA.  Kara sees this as a way to take "her game" to the next level.  

Kara talks to Alison.  Tells her that Davie wants to take out Nick without Angelina or Mike knowing.  Alison is like, OMG ANOTHER WEEK WHERE IT'S NOT ME!!

And then Alison runs right to Mike.  Says she's doing it to "prove her loyalty".  To a snake. OK.  

Mike says this will break the game wide open but he's torn because he is bonded with Nick. 

Davie still thinks there is a real idol out there.  So he looks and WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE finds a clue to an advantage.  "Chose your moment and return to the merge feast area.  He waits until it is raining and goes out.  It's an idol to be used only at the next tribal BUT.... There are 4 urns and he can prolong the life of the idol by picking the right urn.  However it will cost his next vote.  Davie stands there heavy in thought and asks God, who watches Survivor and waits until he's needed to throw the game.  He calls on God to give him a sign, maybe have the fire point to the right urn.  Instead God flips him off and the flames point away from them.  

Immunity Challenge

Cmoninguys!!!

It's a waiter challenge.  Stand on a perch and balance BALLS on a disk.  And it's all BALLS BALLS BALLS from here.  Now, I have actually been asked to NOT include any BALL jokes in this update (Jeff Sellman I am looking at you tying my hands on the best material of the season).  But before I get to the BALL jokes, I want to point out that Jeff was wearing little pedi socks in his shoes like a girl.   (Jeff Probst, not Sellman, although I don't ACTUALLY  know Jeff Sellman wasn't wearing pansy little girl pedi socks either).  And also before we get to the BALL jokes can I say how UNGODLY gross  those ugly high wasted leggings of Angelina's are??  I  mean, Jesus, there must be a swarm of dead fish loving insects just riding on her crotch at all times.  

BALLS BALLS BALLS.  Jeff is just making one double entendre after another!!  It's just a damn shame I promised JEFF SELLMAN that I wouldn't mention all of the BALL JOKES out there.  Sigh.  

After all of the descending, and dropping, on the move balls and hanging ball jokes we AREN'T going to talk about, it comes down to Mike vs Alison.  And has anyone noticed Alison routinely has bandaids on her feet??  WTF??  Is she shagging that Aussie medical dude off camera??  Since when do they get bandaids???  

Mike wins immunity.  

Back at camp Nick says that Alison is a big threat and he's worried about the David vs Goliath numbers.  Nick tells Ang and Kara that he wants Alison. Nick tells Mike it's Alison.  Mike  says there are 2 scenarios but he's feeling bold and wants Christian.  

Mike talks to Angelina about Christian.  Ang thinks Nick is a bigger threat.  Mike talks to Nick about Christian.  I am already crying about this.  

Nick says he is worried that Alison has an idol. He tells Davie that his second one is fake. Now Davie doesn't want Nick out, wants Alison to go.  But either way he is playing his idol.  

Mike decides to "lay out the cards" and tells Nick that Davie is gunning for him.  But instead of going for Davie they should go for Christian this time....

Tribal

Nick says they are all still going  mph but that MORE aggressive play is needed

Angelina says  her vote is more about who is left

Davie says his mind is in a frenzy with who to trust

For the first time I am convinced Jeff's astute and pointed questions are dubbed in later

Christian points out that everyone left has written his name down at some point

Ang says the game is now fluid

and Davie agrees that every tribal has different voting blocs

Mike says that everyone left really likes each other so you still want to work with people that you have voted for

Nick says this is high level of gameplay

Alison says that once you do survive you are an even bigger threat

Christian jokes that everyone can stop voting for him now because he is willing to work with anyone

Mike says this could be a million dollar vote and because he is safe he wants to make a big impact

Time to vote.....

Any idols??  Davie plays one.....for himself.  Alison is just sitting there taking her pulse.  Maybe we should stop tribal and have medical pull her?

Nick plans an idol.......for who??  He says it was a fake idol but he wanted to read people's faces. Angelina tells him he doesn't need to.....he decides to play the real one for himself.  

Davie gets 2 votes....Alison gets 2.....and GOD DAMMIT Christian is voted off.   Nick realizes he wasted his idol.  

  

So...tomorrow night!!!  Get all your shit done by 8 because I think it is going to be a BARN BURNER finale!!!  Good luck to everyone and in this  house I will be holding my nose and rooting for Mike.