NO COLLUSION!  THERE IS NO COLLUSION GOING ON BETWEEN LESU AND KAMA!!

Ok, now that I have your attention, everyone colluded last week to get rid of Julia in an epic tribal.  And we are now at the post-apocalyptic Survivor.  Wardog talks to Ron about how Aurora 'really blew the game up".  He asks, "so, tribal lines are done right??  You wanna make a completely new 6 person alliance??"  Wardog is thinking his W/K/L alliance joining with Ron, Julie and adding in a little Gavin for some young hipness.  LOL.  Because Gavin is so hip.  "First vote should be easy and should be Aurora."

And then we cut to Aurora who is bemoaning how she ruined her game.  Goes on about how she was in foster care, blah blah, and is used to having no friends.  I guess she learned to hate soccer moms in foster care.....

Bang.  Immunity challenge.  Whaaaat??  It's the crouch with a bar on your shoulders and stay there one.  I'd be out in less time than it would take for Jeff to say 'GO".  If you feel safe you can sit out and eat pizza and root beer.  Me?  I'd be EATING A CRAP LOAD OF PIZZA.  Lauren, Victoria, Wardog and Ron sit out and eat the shitty looking microwave pizza.  Aurora holds on with her foster care toughness and wins immunity.  Everyone is unhappy about that, especially Julie who is apparently her nemesis.  

The new alliance of 6 need to pow wow.  So, should we go with David, Rick or Victoria?  Gavin wants David gone.  Wardog is all in with David although he now realizes he has never worked with Ron and Julie...

David and Rick talk.  They think Wardog is a good choice-break up the power trio.  They also think Victoria is on the outs.  Rick talks to Victoria and suggests he and David form an alliance with her, Julie, Ron and Aurora.  David talks to Aurora and she says she would like to break up the Lesu 3.  She says she never in a million years thought she'd be reduced to working with David and Rich.

David and Rick talk to Julia and ask "why are people keeping the power trio??"  Julie is nervous of her new 6 person alliance because Wardog is calling the shots.  

Julie talks to Ron, and points out they are in the middle of everyone.  Which do we want as our final 6?  Ron says he is good with the Lesu 3 but Julie thinks the 3 are way too strong and that Wardog could win.  However she doesn't trust David.   Julie says it depends on Ron.  

Tribal

David says it's a new game now

Julia says she and Ron were on the bottom and she's glad they did what they did.  Says she's now playing her game

Rick says, of course we approached her

Wardog points out how loyal he is by saying he and his girls voted together 8 times

Rick points out this is why they want to be left as final 3

Ron says Wardog is doing to hard of a hard sell

David says he is loyal and everyone laughs.

David says this is either an easy vote or a hard vote and the easy vote could end everyone's game.

Kelley says she knows what David is doing and she's confident about the new group formed.

Vote: Wardog 2, David 7 and is out.  He's still smiling though!

On edge, David is the new guy and immediately they get a message in a bottle.  "Extinction offers purpose, jagged and smooth.  When you're at your most hollow you find blah blah blah.

David is all "I'm still in game mood" and he takes off. Eric thinks it's at the rice bucket and he takes off.  Nope. Chris and Joe think it's at the mast and are also wrong.  David thinks it's in the rocks and he finds an advantage allowing him to help someone still in the game.  

Bang.  Another immunity challenge.  This one is a balance thing with a paddle and 5 balls that have to sit on little dimples.  Like the kids game.  Rick says he got a present from David and his advantage is to only need to get 4 balls in.  Rick ends up winning immunity.  

Julie thinks it's finally time to get rid of her nemesis, Aurora who is "dangerous and a challenge beast".  Tonight is our chance!

Kelley says Rick is so dangerous AND is now getting help "from the other side".  

Wardog says this should be an easy vote BUUUUUUUT, maybe they should take Kelley out.  Wardog talks to Aurora, Victoria and Rick about blindsiding Kelley.  He needs Ron... He talks to Ron and his justification is that they can't get a returnee get to the final.  Ron is like WHAT THE DAMN HELL???  Wardog is so unpredictable!! If Aurora doesn't go home Julie is gonna lose her mind.  

Kelley says she is finally in the majority alliance but is still glad she has an idol!  

Aurora talks to Victoria-asks if she believes Wardog.  Aurora has an extra vote coupon still and for some reason decides to use it to curry favor with Ron.  She offers to let him hold it for her I guess so he knows she isn't going to use it.  

Ron has to decide to work with Julia or Aurora.  

Tribal

Jeff asks Rick "when do you know when it's you" and he says 'when it all feels to easy"

Victoria says she has been in very little conversations since the immunity challenge.  

Ron says once people get the taste of a blindside they want more.  "I think we're set tonight though".

Kelley agrees that a blindside every time isn't good

Wardog points out that she agreed last week to do a blindside.

Victoria says "you need to start thinking about who you want to sit next to"

Kelley points out that you still in fact need to get to the final

Julie says this season has had very little idols played-they looked but couldn't find one

Ron says "if you are in an alliance and are still going balls to the wall aggressive it's dangerous"

Julia says this is an easy vote and there's no need for drama.  

Vote.

Idols?  Nope.

Aurora gets 4 votes and Kelley gets 5.  "Wow, whole lotta lying going on!!"  

 

Most Insane Tribal Ever!!

5

5 times

5 times is how many times I have watched this tribal to understand completely what happened.

Just for you all :)

Also I think this is one of the most pivotal moments in this season, which I have realized isn't giving rise to a lot of funny updates!  Anyway I wrote up a completely different summary and then thought I needed to rewatch the tribal, so now I am completely changing this update!

So basically I think we need to go back and understand the dynamics of where we are in order to handle this episode-and y'all might be totally getting this already and not needing the remedial educating but here goes!

Where we are is 2 original tribes, with the first one, Lesu, kind of disorganized as hell.  There are basically 5 of them left, with 3 of them- Wardog, Kelley and Lauren basically  Siamese triplets having one head.  Which is good for The Wardog because when he looks full on into the camera it's clear there's not much of his brain there.  Among the original Lesu's there are also David and Rick which, in current Survivor fashion formed an alliance about 6 seconds in.   When Rick was voted off and then brought back he basically change his alliance to the other original tribe, the Kama.  Since then Rick and David have been a bit on the outs yet they are still connected through joint custody of 2 halves of an idol, and the fact that David is 1) a very forgiving person and 2) someone without a lot of other friends.  As someone said last tribal, the problem with Lesu is that they can't get their shit together and function as one-even though they have been down in the numbers from the merge.  

The other group playing a completely other game is Kama STRONG.  This consists of now 6 people because they have been eating their own since the merge.  There is Ron and Julie, who are basically the older parents, and then the youngsters Gavin, Julia, Aurora and Victoria.  They have been working with Rick recently although they suffered a pretty big split last week when G/J/A/V broke off and worked with W/K/L to get rid of Eric-who with Ron were running the game.  It was a massive break from Kama Strong and appeared to be a "game change".  

So this week begins post Eric's ouster and Ron and Julie are pissed, for the loss of Eric but particularly in Julie's case she is pissed that they didn't give her the information and she found herself basically lied to and left hung out to dry.  This basically is the entire theme of this episode and could be Kama Strong's down fall.  Ron is mostly just "screw it, I'm going to be a passenger from now on".  Gavin tries to smooth things over with him basically with the old "I wanted to stand up and get noticed for my resume by throwing the first punch".  

W/K/L are wondering where things stand with them now and thinking perhaps they have convinced the Kama Kids to join them.  Gavin pledges his undying loyalty to them and says that he can bring Victoria and Julia along with him.  

Rick and David are still in couples therapy and wondering how they can move forward in this new game.  David appears to be on the fence without any strong alliance.  David and Rick decide their best option is to re-establish trust with Ron and Julie who are pissed with the Kama's.  

David and Rick talk to Ron and Julie at the watering hole and they discuss being a voting block of 4.  Julie is very adamant that she is DONE WITH KAMA STRONG.  Julie has a meltdown, saying her game is completely upended and she doesn't know who she should trust anymore.  They're discussing who could join them and work with them and they throw out Aurora or the Wardog group?  Julie is VERY EMPHATIC that Julia is very strong and very strategic and she says those Kama Kids think they are going to be the final 4.  

Gavin talks to Julia and suggests the plan should be them, plus Victoria and the W/K/L group to get rid of David.  Gavin is especially set on David going home.  They're all standing around with Kelley and Lauren discussing it and Lauren keeps pushing for Ron to go not David.  Julia is a bit concerned by this and decides she needs to re-visit the social game of everyone.  She realizes that the W/K/L group is a very strong alliance and isn't sure how the 6 would mix.  

Immunity Challenge-it comes down to Gavin and David and Gavin wins.  He now thinks he can say that "I'm the reason David went home tonight" on his resume.  LOL, this resume padding shit reminds me of one I got from a recent college graduate that actually listed membership in the Smithsonian institute as an attribute-he basically paid the membership that gets you the magazine and a membership card.  Still makes me laugh. 

Once back at camp everyone scrambles to their current alliances leaving David, Rick and Julia at camp.  Rick tries to break up the new Kama Kids/ Lesu 3 alliance by pitching how strong the W/K/L group is. He makes the same pitch to Gavin and then to Victoria and is trying to be patient with this new alliance breaking down.  

Kelley and Lauren are afraid if they work with the Kama Kids to get rid of David then Kama Strong could get back together and they 3 would be in even worse shape.  Lauren keeps pushing for Ron over David, making the point that Ron has way more connections in the game than David does.  Lauren makes her case to Julia, who is now all worried why the Lesu 3 are so adamant about Ron over David, thinking now they are trying to bamboozle them to get rid of another Kama and keep David.  Julia is now wondering if they should go back to Kama Strong.  She talks to Victoria who wants to get rid of Kelley- "get rid of the queen and the hive will collapse".  

Ron is like, whatever you want.  Julie doesn't believe anything anyone is telling her.  

Ron, Victoria,Gavin and Julie talks about who Kama Strong would go after and they say Kelley.  Gavin pitches a fit because he wants David and isn't getting his way, screaming DICTATORSHIP, which is apparently millennial for "I did not get my way".  

They're all eating and it's dead quiet.  David says his spidey sense is telling him it's him.  He talks to Rick about it and he agrees so they decide the 2 part idol should be used for him tonight.  Also during the quiet dinner Julia gives Kelley the big nod and indicates that she's all on board with them.  Kelley is weirded out by it and is very confused because although Julia is basically giving her the heads up, neither Victoria or Aurora will talk to her.  Kelley says her gut is telling her to play her idol.  

And then we go to tribal and it's not even 8:30!!!

Soooooo, to recap the recap we go into tribal with 2 potential plans, each based upon where GVJA come down.  Plan 1 is WKL join with GVAJ to vote out David.  Plan 2 is Kama Strong comes back together to vote out Kelley.  David and Ron are basically left out and Ron and Julie think it's plan 2 but Julie doesn't trust that's true.  

So right out of the gate Jeff brings up the blindside and Julie says she is still mad about being on the wrong side of it and she doesn't trust anyone. Aurora, in her first speaking role, says that you can't really bring a lot of people into a blindside, and she points out that the time before other people were also left out so there could be a blindside.

Wardog's expression is priceless as he points out that she basically said "last time we needed to use people to take out Eric, and this time we are using people to take out someone else".  And he asks her "is it our plan or am I just a passenger on your plan?" Kelley agrees and says that's the vibe I'm getting too-I was trying to establish trust with people BUT I am also afraid Kama Strong is going to get back together so I'm not sure what's gonna happen tonight.  

David, in response to something Jeff asks him, says earlier today he was taking a poop in the water, watching a school of minnows swimming by when a shark came up and ate some of the minnows.  And he says that tonight it is likely that with a reconstituted Kama, a Lesu will be a minnow tonight.  

Jeff asks Devins if he's a minnow or a shark tonight and Devins says he might be the poop.  He says he has no idea what is going to happen-says 4 people were the hot date today (GVJA) and they were going to get back to us but they blew us off.  Gavin says they weren't avoiding them but people were breaking off and coming back with new plans all day.  

Julie melts down again, saying she feels like a lunatic but this game is so hard.  She says she's not in a clear mind (ok, let's also point out she's basically been skating on Kama Strong the entire game and this is the first time she's had to think) and she's not sure she's been told the correct plan and it could be another blindside.  

Kelley is all WHAAAAAT???  Surprised that there might be another plan and she asks Aurora and Julia if they are good and Julia says "we are all good".  

Ron is also saying that this vote will tell Julie and I where we stand and we'll feel better if things go as we think tonight.  

Jeff them inserts himself into the game at this point (IMO) telling Julie she isn't a lunatic but also calling Julia out for laughing while Julie was pouring her heart out.  He asks Julia what was so funny and she tells him she was laughing because while she was talking Kelley asked if we were good AND I SAID YES.  

And then BOOM!!!  Rick points out that Julia just gave the game away-says "I guess they are going with the Lesu 3!!"  Not sure if Rick believes it but he has successfully inserted the knife into Ron and Julie and is now about to twist them free from Kama Strong.

Aurora wades into it by saying "I love how Lesu, either together or split, are playing the game.  She says they must think basically Kama is stupid in not realizing that perhaps Lesu figured out last tibal that if they get together and get over their issues they could work together. Says they're  "We're with you and are going to blindside and then the other side is all we're with YOU and are going to do a blindside..." What they're trying to do is create mistrust.  

W/K/L are all frowning and confused.....

Rick says "hey, ask Eric or Aubry or Joe how good Kama can trust each other....."

David is totally laughing at the turn of events!

Aurora says that she's not saying they are the only dysfunctional tribe, she says Kama owns up to their dysfunction.  David and Wardog are amused-" we never said we weren't dysfunctional!!!"

During this back and forth Julia tells Aurora "you are spilling the beans" to which Aurora replies "no I'm not....THEY DON'T KNOW...."

Rick then "throws this out there" that there seems to be a Kama group that doesn't want anyone questioning them, and then there are 5 Lesu and 2 Kama which is 7 and if we do that we could do whatever we want since Aurora wants Lesu to work together.  Julia is all "oh I thought Lesu was all dysfunctional but now Rick is throwing this plan out there".  Rick points out "I think Aurora threw it out there, I'm just on board with it...."

Julia tells Rick, "you're just a passenger" to which he says "Passenger??  Hell I think I just got the GPS...."  He says he can see why Julia doesn't want this to happen but they could " take the power away from the Kama Kids who are just messing with us".  Julia tells him he is just paranoid because he's not part of the "many plans tonight" and he asks her "then shouldn't I make my own plan Julia??"  

Things quickly begin to spin out of control as Wardog talks to Ron and Julie (who are incidentally sitting by themselves surrounded by Lesu....) and says I'll work with you.  

Aurora says "oh so now you are making plans for Ron and Julie??"  And he points out that he's not making plans but broaching a GREAT idea....

Julie says that Rick's proposal sounds good to her.  Wardog continues to talk to Ron.  David is just enjoying it all and says there's a whole lot of desperation tonight!!  

Wardog tells Ron-Aurora??  I'll go Aurora.  Everyone is all up and talking and moving around and David taps Kelley on the back and says "hey remember me?"  But then Ron calls David and Rick over and he's like "hang on..."  So in one corner is David, Rick, Wardog and Lauren, with Ron and Julie and Victoria is trying to get in and stop the talking.  Rick goes back to Kelley and says "a truce could go a loong way tonight..."  

Kelley talks to J/G/A and asks if the plan was THE plan tonight?  and they tell her yes.  She tells them she isn't going to turn on them.  

Julie is good with the new plan says lets do it and then TAKE THEM ALL OUT.  Ron says, "we could take Victoria out tonight" and she is standing right there.  Rick looks over and says "it looks like we aren't going to have Kelley tonight.  Julie is heard saying "I'd go for Julia over Aurora tonight" and Wardog is all "you want that name?  I could go for that name...you pick the name!!"  

Lauren walks over to Kelley to talk to her and Julia gets up and pours gasoline on the fire by getting pissy with them.  Julie yells I AM OUT!!  Says she has seen the looks they have all been passing all day!!!  

David asks Kelley what the plan was tonight and she admits it was him.  

Aurora gets up and says "OMG I can't deal with these soccer moms..."

(BY THE WAY THE JURY IS LOVING EVERY SECOND OF THIS TRIBAL)

Kelley finally tells Rick and David  "if you want to do a plan, let's do a plan!"

Julia is yelling at Julie that she is going to throw away KAMA control and Julie is all I DON'T HAVE ANY KAMA CONTROL!!!  Says she is on the bottom and ready to jump ship-which she illustrates by running over to Rick, David, Kelley and Lauren.  Wardog is still  negotiating and vote counting.  Ron suddenly starts looking nervous and is being worked on by G,V and Julia.  He calls Julie back over. Victoria tells Lauren and Wardog she told them to vote David, and David is all I HEARD THAT.  LOL!  

Wardog says "let's vote" and Julia tells him to shut up.  Rick says he was criticized for bringing up the idea but "I'm glad I did!"  

Everyone slowly starts returning to their seats and then they say WE ARE READY TO VOTE.  

Rick plays the 2 halves of the idol for David but it wasn't necessary because the vote is 1 David, 1 Kelley and all the rest turned on Julia!  

WHEW!!!!!  My head is still spinning!  And at the end Wardog says "RIIIIICK DEVINS!!!" 

And that, boys and girls, is how you build your resume!!!!!  

(is anyone still reading?????  LOL!!!)

Survivor is Getting Good!

Is it me or is this season finally getting better?  I feel like it is and I'm finally getting to know all of the contestants, such as Aurora who had a bit of visibility last week to the point that Wil asked me "was that girl on the whole season??"  Aurora apparently was thought to be Joe's girl and no one told her that he was getting voted off the prior tribal-something that I believe will stick in her craw for the rest of the season and you will hear that brought up again and again.  She's pissed, especially at Ron, and now claims she has no allegiance.  

Ron is really a dick.  He came onto Survivor with an image of being this hero-he has a book on his do good school and he's been blessed by the hand of Oprah but as we see again and again even the holy are just in it for their own glory.  David and Rick give him the bro hug and Ron points out that their tribe all voted for them-"they owe me".  Ron is very big on being owed.  

Wardog. Kelley and Lauren all find themselves on the bottom now.  They realize that Ron et al divided them and made them even weaker.  "We could make up with David and Rick and bring in Aurora".  They boast that they're totally willing to go to rocks which is funny since their odds actually IMPROVE with a random draw.  

We then get to see our 5 minutes of Extinction which HEY JEFF AND MARK BURNETT- Extinction should have an online show of their own ala Ponderosa.  Would be interesting to see what happens there and how it might impact the game.  Especially should they ever repeat it and people integrate it into the strategy, and I expect it to become the new norm given 1) how Jeff has already proclaimed it EPIC and 2) it gives the attention whores who go on Survivor the potential to be voted off and STILL become a youtube sensation after the show.  

We get to see Joe crying the blues AND HAVING A GREAT HAIR DAY.  "This has to be where I am meant to be".  They make it seem like he is all alone on Extinction and I'm all confused as to where everyone else went.  

Reward Challenge:  There's an obstacle course, a get puzzle pieces part, and a vertical puzzle with planks you have to slide in.  Teams are divided into 2:  Blue (Eric, Wardog, Aurora, Rick, Victoria and Julia) vs Yellow (Gavin, Kelley, Lauren, Julie, David and Ron).  Wanna know?  Chinese takeout. 

It's pretty uneven frankly and Jeff spends half of his time yelling at the yellow tribe unhelpful crap like 'EVERY SECOND YOU LOSE COULD BE THE SECOND YOU NEED".  

It's completely uneven and an easy win for the blue team, not the least of which is because they did not grease the  wooden planks for yellow team like they obviously did for the blue.  Ron is happy because he "wants Kelley and Lauren to be isolated and hungry because I am the puppet master".  

On the reward Rick, who in annoying Jeff fashion has been renamed 'Devins"  declares " I love you guys".  

Lauren is still hungry and they joke about what they would do if one of the chickens walked by.  Kelley apologizes to David for their votes.  "We're going after each other and we need to come together with you guys and bring in Aurora".  She points out to him that it has now become the Eric and Ron show.  David is intrigued enough to wonder if Aurora would go along with them and Kelley says that she's seen her crying to Ron about the Joe vote.  Kelley points out they would still be in a tie situation UNLESS David and Rick pretend they are still part of the Kama group and make them feel their numbers were so overwhelming that they had space to split their votes for fear of an idol.  

Ron jerks Wardog's chain- "I am dying to get back to working with you guys.  NOT.  Why would I want to work with you guys?"  Wardog tries to argue and Ron is all DON'T WARDOG ME. 

David talks to Rick and Rick is a lost cause to the dark side.  Rick tells David that going back to the old alliance makes him a puppet.  David tells Rick that he is getting played. David points out that they have the joint idol, and Rick says " I was hoping you would give that back to me..."  

Aaaand another 3 minutes on Extinction.  They all get wine bottles-I know right??  But unfortunately these are just the empty ones laying around Jeff's timeshare with riddles Jeff writes when drunk in them.  " Your path has been rocky but your game is still at stake.  Take a step back and assess, an advantage awaits".  Aubry says you never read a clue without your sneakers on and bang, everyone is off running looking for the advantage.  They're all following each other up to the steps and looking for a stake (with Reem standing back too old to look WHICH IS EFFING PISSING ME OFF. C'MON FAT ASS REPRESENT OLDER WOMEN BETTER!)  

Aubry takes a different path- a path with rocks on it that leads out towards the sea.  She turns around and sees a little cave and inside is a key and a note " Follow the rocks to the sand...your practice begins".  She she gets a practice course and an extra vote to give someone.  

Challenge:  It's a balance one.  Stand on your toes keeping a block against the top of the frame.  People are dropping off, and this challenge is made for hobag women who wear high heals obviously because 25 minutes later we are down to Victoria, Aurora and Lauren.  With the magic of camera angles we see Lauren saying she is getting dizzy and everything is black from head on and then from the side we see her pass out with no camera in front of her.  Hmmmmm.  In comes the aussie medical team while the challenge continues.  "Lemme know if she's dying and whether I should stop this challenge".  Aurora tries to bargain with Victoria to let her win since she feels insecure due to no one telling her about the Joe vote (didn't I tell you this was gonna keep coming up?).  Lauren finally wakes up and says "god I had such a nightmare about being on Survivor...."  Aurora points out that people are shouting "Go Vic" but no one is rooting for her.  Victoria eventually drops and Aurora wins immunity.  

Back at camp Aurora says "hmmm there is a PARCHMENT in my bag".  Who the hell uses the term 'parchment'???  It's the extra vote from Aubry who apparently realizes that Aurora is primed to flip.  

Ron and Eric are being dicks, "using the loved ones as a cudgel" to get people to keep voting with them in order to stay in the game until the loved ones visit.  Which is another reason I hate the predictability of Survivor.  Eric says that since they now have David and Rick in their pockets they can split the votes to get someone from Lesu out.  

David talks with Kelley.  Kelley says that "they want us all out.  They have a big block voting against us but she tells him that she and Lauren have idols".  

Wardog tries to work on Julia.  He says that you have to find the cracks in that group.  He believes that they can work on the younger ones (ie Gavin and Julia) and convince them that they "need soldiers for their war" against the machine that is Ron and Eric.  Julia realizes that Wardog might be right.  She is afraid that Ron and Eric might use David and Rick to flip on Gavin, Julia and Victoria.  She decides to test her theory by lobbying Ron to get rid of David next. Ron shoots that down leading Julia to think maybe Wardog is right.  She's wondering if now is the time for she, Gavin and Victoria to flip??  Julia talks to Victoria about it all but Victoria thinks it is too soon to flip.  She thinks they need to get another Lesu off first before they blow up the game.  

Tribal, with the "members of the jury"

Eric is all "KAMA DOMINANCE"  and says that tonight's decision is a group one.  He says the Lesu tagalongs come in "packages" and you deal with them that way.  Wardog says that some of the packages got into their group.....

Rick says he has no allegiance to the Lesu's and that he's fully on the KAMA train.

David points out that he's just a passenger on that train.

Eric says "David is saying some of you are at the bottom" and then he goes on to the loved ones visit bullshit.  

Wardog points out that by the time loved ones roll around the former Lesu's will have been removed anyway.  

David points out that some of the skaters are gonna find themselves with the dreaded BLANK RESUME.  

Julia says that the decision is more about WHEN to make a move not WHETHER.  

Ron, the menace that he is, says "I wouldn't want to vote against Kama and be on the bottom". 

Aurora points out that there is a lot of strong talk but the problem isn't necessarily with Kama dominance but that Lesu has allowed themselves to fall to pieces.  

Time to vote..... any idols?  NOPE.  

Kelley 2

Lauren 2

And ERIC IS VOTED OFF WITH OVER 6 VOTES.  LOL!!!  Rick and Ron's faces were priceless!!!  

Survivor: Not a Good Hair Day.

Good morning, my pretties! Hope everyone is enjoying this early warm spring day!  No??  Ahhh well, we always have Survivor!!

Last week started off BANG with what appeared to be a challenge but instead DROP YER BUFFS!!  WE ARE MERGED!!  With 12 people which is way more than usual.  Frankly I think next season they should just flat out go with one tribe and only individual immunities from the start.  So tired of the "play for the merge" from day one!  

BUT WAIT!!  There's a twist in what Jeff already predicts will become ICONIC.  And with amazing hyperbole Jeff tells us this might just become ICONIC INSTANTLY!!!  C'mon in!!  And in walks the waking dead of extinction island.  WHAAAAAAATTTTTTT?????  

And now we have the Edge of Extinction challenge:  There's a maze, knots to untie, the bamboo pole to get a key and unlock a "door" part and then the move a ball up a snake maze challenge.  Jeff:  "Some of you have advantages".  Keith gives his disadvantage to Chris who has been using his advantage to practice.  So Chris has more knots to untie.  

So, Reem sucks, Wendy gets out pretty high in the snake and is all twitchy and querky, then and drops, Aubry is out in front but drops her ball,  Chris gets pretty close and drops and Rick Devins comes from behind and wins.  He gets a second chance to join the merged tribe.

And the losers stand there crying after everyone has left, with Jeff totally picking at the scab asking they why they wanted to play and why they stayed on Extinction.  They're all crying and talking about how they've watched the show forever..... 

And then Jeff asks WHO WANTS TO GO BACK TO EXILE AND KEEP PLAYING!!!  YAY!!  Everyone is all YES!!!  But then when they get back to the island Keith and Wendy leave (NOTE: THIS DOES TRIGGER THE ALTERNATE AND SINCE KEITH WAS VOTED OUT FIRST)

Back at camp we have the merge feast.  Kelley is all OH HELL NO NOT FAT RICK DEVINS.  Rick is afraid he is an easy vote and "has to make connections".  

He talks to Julie who becomes his fierce defender telling him HELL NO WILL I LET YOU GO BACK TO THAT AWFUL PLACE...right away.  

The new tribe is VATA.  Kelley and Lauren discuss how great of a scapegoat Rick is.  They are in the 8-4 minority from the original group so they're clearly looking for someone else to be voted out.  

Kelley talks with her arch nemesis Joe because she feels like she is at his mercy.  He tells her he doesn't trust his tribe and thinks he is at the bottom.  Kelley says that she can see David and Devins as an alliance and see them shifting towards the 8.  

In addition to the 8-4 Yellow-blue split there is an 6 girls 7 guys split.  Lauren tells Julie that Rick could be an easy vote and she goes all ballistic-"I'm SHOCKED that they would send him back", from a "moral standpoint".  She suggests either Kelley or Lauren should go because they are "BRUTAL".  

Devins finds something in his bag-it's a 2 part immunity idol.  He has to give half to another player until after this vote and if they both survive it gets it's full power back.  He tells David about it and gives him the other half, which is amusing since right now those two are on the chopping block.  

Challenge: Stand on a beam holding a pole above your head with a little statue on the end.  Julie wins immunity.  

Julie tells Pippi Victoria that she wants to get Kelley out, says she can bring in Rick and David to vote with them.  Tells Rick "you are not going home but don't ask questions".  Rick tells David and also says "she told me the others have no problem sending me back"

Everyone runs off to catch the damn chickens (who are probably outside of the producers electronic fence and all we are hearing are recordings).  Joe stays back to slowly work on painting the new flag.  Ron talks to him about who to vote for and Joe is all "meh, whatever is cool".  Ron thinks that Joe was too vague and he says his true alliance is to the Kama 6, so he wants Joe gone.  

Ron talks to Pippi and says he wants Joe to go.  She wants Kelley.  She talks to Gavin and Eric and says she wants Kelley but Ron wants Joe.  Julie also wants Kelley, says it's not a consensus this week but it's an important decision.  

Tribal-some of you haven't heard my important FIRE IS YER LIFE quote yet!  He also says :"bring in the jury" and in walks the Extinction group and everyone is like WHAAAAA???  

Julie is excited to meet the new people.  Ron says he loves his Kama people.  Kelley says that there are new relationships forming.  Rick says the dynamics keep changing.  

Victoria is asked if getting re-rid of Rick would be an easy decision and she says no, that would be evil.  He's not a threat and there are bigger targets.

Joe says that doesn't make me feel good, although my hair is looking effing AMAZING TONIGHT so I'm assuming I am safe because of it.

Victoria says "not all threats are physical..."

Ron says no one is talking idols or wondering if they will be used.  To which The Wardog says basically "nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition".  

Rick points out that Joe just sat and painted the sign because he's THAT SECURE. 

Ron says, "hair like that, he doesn't need to scramble".  

Kelley says it's frustrating if you're me.....

Vote

Idols?  Nope.

Rick 2

Kelley 2

David 3

Joe gets 4 and goes to extinction.  Perhaps one of the dumbest decisions in Survivor history!