Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Survivor: Shoulda Seen it Coming!

Good afternoon and welcome to Survivor, proving a bottle of Purell hidden behind every tree saves lives for over 20 years!

We begin where we left off, with smarmy Adam surprised that Parv did not go home.  Boston Rob says he "blew it up:.  Adam realizes he go left out because he was doing everything you shouldn't do.  Michelle and Ben call him STUPID and Michelle says "now you see what happens when you follow him".  Adam decides to go on an apology tour and pledge to not work with Rob and Parv-as if that is even an option.  

Ben calls him a weasel crawling around to everyone, and it's not good for Ben's lackluster game.  He says Rob and Parv are gonna pull shit and if you give them rope, they'll hang you with it.  

On the unicorns and puppies tribe Yul is up early and happy!  GOOOD MORNING!!  WHAT  A LOVELY DAY 10 IT IS!!!  It's all happy and we all love each other!!  Yul, Nick, Wendel and Sophie are all a nice tight group.  From their beach, they can apparently see the Edge of Extinction.  

Over on edge, they get a box with a note:  Chance to earn a fire token (I think Natalie has about 500 by now and is the only one who really knows how they work).  Bring 20 pieces of firewood and stack them one piece at at time-with the wood being about a mile away up on the "mountain".  Has to be completed by sunset.  Ethan says since he's done marathons it should be a piece of cake, and Danni says she is approaching it slow and steady.  Natalie is running it because she is a "monster".  

Around the 10th piece Ethan craps out.  By 16 he's really struggling so they bring in the Australian medic who says his BP is low and he has to rest.  They finally let him finish but tell him to take rests.  Natalie finishes and goes into the water to shit and cry.  Amber and Danni also kill themselves but finish.  Ethan is down to his last leg and all the girls follow him up and down as a show of support and now they are all tightly bonded like office workers with a shitty boss (trust me on this).  

On red, Rob and Michelle talk.  She tells him she was 9 the first time he played and 19 the last time.  She tells him she is here because her win was "controversial".  (I had to look it up and she won 2 back to back final challenges AND used an advantage that allowed her to strip a jury member of the right to attend and vote at the end-i do not remember that but she beat out Tai and Aubry to win and people freaked out) Rob tells her any win is a win.  

Meanwhile Adam is running around being everyone's bitch.  Hey, do you want water?  It was so bad I yelled at the TV "hey Adam, make me a sammich".  Jeremy says it reminds him of one of his kids who did something wrong and is hoping to not get in trouble.  He says they'll keep him as long as he behaves.  


Rob says that being at the mercy of everyone is hard.  He wonders what Adam's agenda is and Adam is basically talking to people to find someone to say something or make a mistake that he can use against them.  Rob says he's not doing it.  Parv asks if they should just "bury him" and Rob agrees.  He says "I could just go to Jeremy and say Adam is already trying to start shit.  He tells Jeremy that Adam keeps trying to talk to me and tell me smack and Jeremy is all " I can't keep babysitting this guy, he has to go".  

Sarah says for these die hard Survivor attention whores, this game is their playground.  She says a lot of people don't like Tyson but she and him mesh.  Tyson says it's earily calm, and Wendell/Yul/Nick and Sophie are running under the radar.  He tells Sandra and Tony that those 4 are playing us against each other.  Sandra tells him she's interested in the theory but she says privately he's SHADY.  She still holds it against her that he came for her.  He has to go.  

Challenge:  4 members pull a boat with the other 3 inside, pull up to a tower. and the people inside the boat have to climb up and jump, grabbing buoys with keys on the way down.  The there's a puzzle, of course.  The red team gets their keys but the blue team is ridiculously bad at it.  I think poor weasel Adam had to climb up and jump about 10 times to get it.  Red is so far ahead Jeff starts his OMGAWD THIS IS SUCH AN EPIC BLOWOUT!  

Adam finally gets the key and they crawl back to the beach and hand the puzzle pieces to ROB and Michelle.  Jesus are you kidding me??  But miracle of miracles Blue comes from behind and wins immunity.  

Tyson is bitter and says everyone is patting the puzzlers on the back and saying it's ok BUT IT'S NOT.  WAAAAAH.  Nick has to go!

Tyson tells Yul that Nick has to go and he says OK.  Sandra says OK too.  Everyone is on board so Tony asks, "is it really gonna be that easy??"

Wendell says all of their eyes are on Tyson because he is too well connected on the other tribe in case of the merge/swap.  Tony is like, OK.  Nick says Tyson has been gunning for me since day 1 and Yul tells him it's ok, he's good.   

Tyson tells Tony they have to stick together. Tony thinks it's a tricky situation because while he would rather get rid of Nick, he feels Tyson is a bigger dick that they can hide behind and use as a shield.  Once Tyson is gone, the spotlight could turn to Tony.  Tony talks to Sarah and Kim.  Sarah thinks they are being bamboozled, which is a work I TOTALLY have to start using more in my life.  She says it all hinges on what Sandra wants to do.  Tony and Sandra talk and Tony says it would be stupid to let Tyson go. Sandra says that although she has issues with Tyson and likes revenge, she likes $2 million more.  

Tribal
Tony says everyone has tight bonds but it's clearcut from a game level
Yul is asked about his prior strategy of constantly running the numbers.  He says he hasn't done as much math this time around and says that there are various groups that feel tighter and if you target someone in their group, they tend to bond tighter and he wants to avoid that with difficult votes.  

Sophie says something about a swap or a merge.  I dunno.
Nick says if they end up in a swap with him, he's going to stick with them.
Everyone agrees to the same
Sandra says some people have plans tonight but she'll do "whatever"
Tyson says Sandra is solid at that strategy
Yul says watching them play is different that meeting them and playing with them.  He's, for example, been surprised that Tony isn't a total asshole.  
Jeff asks Kim if there is idolatry of the multi-season players going on and I think she says yes.  LOL
Sophie says it's a real problem that some people are star struck and it's critical that they move past it
Tyson adds that some people also think voting their idol out is actually a resume plus
Sarah agrees that some people are excited to take out "the trophy"
Nick agrees and says that Parv was his Survivor crush.  He also says he feels responsible for the puzzle loss but was told a plan he hopes it correct.
Jeff asks who else was told a plan and everyone raises their hands. 

Vote.  Idol?  Nope

Nick 1
Kim 1
Tyson is off to Exile.  He says it was too easy and he should have seen it coming.    He gives his fire token to Nick.  


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