Survivor Up: Vinyl IS Better.

Last time we met, Mari was blindsided by everyone but Adam and Zeke, the quintessential pair of lone wolfs.  They congratulate Figgy and Taylor "well played", but Figgy gets her beautiful little nose out of joint at the notion that it was just those two.  "People who write down Figgy go home".  

Hannah, of the socially awkward, approaches Adam and Zeke to explain/apologize.  "It was a last minute decision".  She keeps at them over and over even after Zeke tells  her to leave them alone.  GIVE ME SPACE!!!  She keeps going on and Zeke accuses her of trying to play the victim.  Finally she leaves and they discuss being on the bottom.  "You and me on dumb ass island!"  Adam promises to get back up to the top.

OMG, can Dave survive 39 days?  He's already almost transparently skinny.  He, Dave and Cece are obviously on the bottom although HEY!!  Dave managed to check "find an idol in Survivor" off his  bucket list!  

Paul is an insufferable bore.  Seriously, he and Chet are just 2 old overweight guys that think they are young and cool. I can just picture Paul in his real life walking around in brightly colored biking shorts. He goes out to get them fish, because he's an expert Florida spear fisherman and alas, the schools of yellowtail keep getting away from him.  Spoiler alert, Paul, they've never seen such a flabby white orca floating around the ocean with them.  Ken can't stand Paul.  He's a total bullshitter who talks a good game but provides nothing.  

The excitement this week is a summit.  4 people from each side are sent together to eat PB&Js and try to get info/form some kind of bonds.  For the M's it's of course Taylor, Figgy, Will and Jay.  Jay is just hoping Taylor and Figgy don't start making out.  For the Xers, it's Dave, CeCe, Paul and Chris.  Dave thinks Paul just needs an audience to bloviate at.  Paul tells them he's a lead singer for a Rock Band.  OOOH, are you ZZ Top?  LOL!!  Paul is under the delusion that these kids are missing their Dads and want to talk with an old rocker.  The M's are asked if there are any hook ups?  Nooooooo.  They want to know how Ken Doll is.  That's what they apparently call him.  CeCe says that he's the opposite of what they think, really humble and nice.  Paul gets up to "swim in the ocean", aka dropping a PB&J deuce in the water.  Taylor and Figgy talk to Dave and CeCe to get some info.  CeCe admits that Paul is the big fat alpha thereby putting a target on his back.  Dave approaches Taylor and basically says he's kill his tribe members to prove his loyalty.  

Back home, Dave sees the summit as a ray of hope.  CeCe tells Ken that they call him Ken Doll which is apparently a scar from his childhood.  I'm not a plastic doll with no penis.  He's not flattered at all.  In fact, he goes off and catches 3 fish easily.  

Ken also badmouths Paul to Jessica.  She understands he feels like he's on the outs but whattareyagonna do?  He tells her that she and Sunday are humble people, not like Paul at all.  

The beautiful 4 are relaxing on a rafty thing.  They're deciding to get rid of Zeke next.  Meanwhile, Adam is talking with Michaela and Hannah about how much Figgy sucks.  He points out that Michelle basically saved her ass and they now owe her.  Points out those 4 are totally in cahoots.  Michaela kind of agrees but is basically uninterested in making any promises or moves right  now.  

Challenge.  It's this carry bags through obstacles,over another balance beam thing.  Then knock puzzle pieces off a table with bean bags, then redo the puzzle.  Wanna know?  Luxury items from the Jeff Probst collection at Target.  Chairs, hammock, blankets and candles with the famous Probst sandalwood scent.   As one would expect, the Xers get their asses handed to them in the physical part of the challenge.  Mainly because, although not everyone has to carry 40 lbs over the balance beam, CeCe insists on doing it taking so long that basically the entire M tribe, the production crew and the sand sweeper go past on the other side.  So, the Xers are screwed.  Ken-not a-Doll kicks ass at the throwing of bean bags but alas the Mers are just too far ahead.  M wins immunity and the luxury items.

Mers ask Jeff if they can trade luxury for fishing equipment.  Jeff says it's up to the Xers but he says "I don't think that the luxury items equal fishing" and "hey you guys can always say no....".  Gen X says no.  M's are kind of shocked because "our parents would have said yes....."  

So, Paul is all CECE SUCKED.  It's an obvious choice, but WHO KNOWS!!  They're all in agreement but there's still 20 minutes left in the show.  

CeCe the clueless asks the other women, "hey anyone know who we're all voting for??"  Sunday tells her the boys are working out the details.  CeCe is kinda wondering why no one ever comes up to her with info...

Dave and Ken realize they, plus CeCe are all on the bottom.  They want to target Paul.  There the bottom 3 so they have nothing to lose.  

Paul talks to Sunday.  It's CeCe.  We're a solid 6, right?  You're not gonna go off and do a boys thing, right?  "If they boys wanted that I'd tell you and it would be bye bye ladies".  BOOM.  Not the right answer Paul!!!  

Jessica, Sunday and Luci talk and are really pissed off.  They realize the united 6 is actually boys vs girls.  

Chet says, "hey Paul, why are those girls all talking to each other?"  Paul says, "don't worry about that Boston Chet!"

Tribal

Dave says that meeting the Mers was transformational.  He saw them as people and peers.  He's now only a 9.8 on the anxiety scale

CeCe says that she, Dave and Ken are probably on the bottom.  She also says FINALLY getting my ass over that balance beam felt really good.  

Chris is all, "heeeeeey now, it's too early for any of our solid 6 to be thinking that they are #5 or 6"

Dr Jeff comes out to psychoanalyze the situation.  He points out that the youngsters sure did cooperate well.  I WAS BLOWN AWAY by how good they were.  

Sunday agrees that in general Xers rely on what they think is the right vs wrong way to do something whereas her kids are more likely to try things different ways.  

Dr. Jeff starts asking if people text.  Paul says no.  Sunday says she does.  He asks if she uses "you" or U in texts.  He points out that language is changing to be more efficient (although I disagree.  Newer phone technologies make using "you" not that much less efficient.  But I digress....).  

Ken waxes poetic about the beauty of language (I think I want to meet KEN at the Pottstown Motel 6 next time).  Jeff says, "you probably think vinyl records are better (they are.).  Um, Jeff, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE WELL INTO THE GEN X GROUP.  

They discuss paranoia.  Paul says it's low in the 6 but high in the 3.  He then states, like a typical white male, that the other 3 had just as much opportunity to be in the fortunates.  

Jessica states that tonight's vote will result in helping the tribe move forward.  They need more than just the 6 to win challenges.  

Time to vote!

CeCe gets 3 votes and Paul is blindsided!!  Boooyaaaaaaaaa.  

Survivor: Love Shack!

Hello my fellow Survivors!  Hope you are all doing well and enjoying this season!  Have we all picked out our favorites and who we are gonna love to hate on all season?  Has your contestant spoken yet?  I think this week we at least get to pick out who is who on each tribe.  Week 1 saw the leaving of our alternate #2, so if you have a loser you're still stuck.  

It's day 5 and Gen x (who will be called X from here on in) hasn't started fire yet, even with a flint from the last tribal.  Paul is all assholiness saying "haha, sure David, why don't you give it a try".  And then David BRINGS IT and makes fire!  Woohoo ya little man!!  

David is basically the family joke child that no one is taking any notice of.  So he goes off to find rocks to use as chairs and looks all around for an idol.  He finds the first one, which is basically inside of a coconut with an ink marking on it.  So there's that.  Wonder if he will successfully use it or go home with at least something big in his pants.  

Over on the Millennial tribe (which will now be referred to as M since I can't spell Millennials without the spellchecker riding my ass) it's love goggles.  The prom king and queen, Taylor and Figgy are doing some snuggling in the group bed.  And I am 100% TOTALLY AGREEING WITH MICHAELA: " You stink, your mouth is nasty, you have sand in your drawers AND IT'S NASTY.  

Everyone is on to it and everyone has an excuse.  "Millennials are dreamers"..."Nobody cares"...."Hookups are less serious" (this from Zeke who I can bet would think it was a big deal if he EVER hooked up).  However the rest of the triforce is getting nervous.  Jay thinks they are totally STUPID.  He and Michelle think it could hurt their alliance.  He tells Taylor that power couples don't last but Taylor isn't worried.  The prom king can get away with a lot.  Jay calls it a bullseye for a nuclear missile.   

X Ken, who is Mr. Off the Grid, is fishing and catching a bit octopus.  He has an affinity with David because he apparently had a speech impediment once and although not too shabby in the abs department, is apparently not great at the social game.  Ken and David agree that it's all about Paul's posse and he needs to go.  They form a bro alliance and David shows off his idol as proof of trust.  

The M'ers are finding it difficult to actually live outside of their many screens and in reality.  It's haaaaard!  Taylor wants to make a surfboard.  Michaela and Figgy go at it for a bit.  Michaela thinks figgy is dumb.  Adam thinks Michaela needs to chill and stop the cat fighting.  

X: Paul wants to be in total control.  CeCe talks with Ken and Dave and they agree that while they need to cut off the head, aka Paul, the best thing is to keep feeding his bloated ego until that time.  

Paul collapses, they bring in the medic WHO IS NOT THE NORMAL AUSTRALIAN,  but alas no heart attack.  Just heat stroke, dehydration and a massive ego.  Dave is a bit disappointed.

Challenge.  It's in the water.  Swim, race up a cargo net, jump off a platform and grab a key.  Use the keys to unlock a swim mask, dive and untie rings to be used in the RING TOSS.  During this challenge Jeff calls out everyone's name as we go through and I finally figure out who the other half of the tribes are.  David of course is pathetically slow but manages to get a key leaving the Ms with a lead after the first part of the challenge. In the second part Marti takes forever with her ring and X makes up time.  At the ring toss, CeCe and Ken kill it winning immunity and a tarp.  

Paul announces that the ol pirate is back from the dead.  

M: Zeke is all excited to get to VOTE PEOPLE OUT!!!  Mari wants to blindside Figgy tonight, yet Will is afraid she will see it coming.  Will btw is pretty smart for the youngest on the tribe.  

Zeke and Adam tell Jay that Figgy is going.  WHYYYYYYY????  Do they not get that he is in an alliance with them??  Jay tells Michelle who realized something has to happen.  Says they need Michaela and Figgy to make up.  Jay tells Figgy and Michaela that basically it's Figgy but Michaela is a close second.  Figgy says they need to be 6 strong, but that they also need Will.  They decide on Mari but Michelle has to pull some strings.  

Tribal

OMG they are all gobsmacked to be at Tribal.  It's beautiful.....It's like being inside my tv.....

Jeff asks Mari if social media makes Millennials better at the social game?  She admits that in real life there is this thing called empathy and it's harder to screw people over when you can see their eyeballs.  

Zeke tells Jeff that he's living the dream.  "I'm my best version of myself and it makes me want to give 100%, unlike the usual 35% I give in my asset management job"

Michaela starts it up saying basically it also brings out the worst in some people.  Adam interprets for Jeff that Michaela is a "straight shooter" that many times ends up with the gun pointed at herself.  Michaela continues that there are little groups forming.  

Hannah is totally star struck.  She does manage to get out that there is some cuddling going on.  She calls out Taylor and Figgy who try to play dumb, or are dumb.  While Jeff is talking to Taylor and Figgy Michelle is working on Hannah telling her to vote for Mari and to trust her.  

This keeps going on while Michaela kicks it up a few notches in her war with Figgy.  Taylor says it's not that big of a deal and it's too early in the game for anyone to really care about his penis leading him around in an alliance with Figgy.  Michaela says that she isn't stupid and she isn't buying that.  

Michelle, Hannah and Jay are still all taking about voting for Mari.  Michelle takes a breath and says if she were Figgy she would be scared.  

Jeff asks Hannah a question and she goes all idiot, saying she's dizzy, he's Jeff Probst, it's all confusing....

Mari says Hannah has issues and is probably just talking about puppies or butts.  

Time to vote!  Hannah has another meltdown and takes forever to cast her vote.

In the end, Figgy gets 3 votes and Mari gets 6 and is back to playing video games on the plane home.

On her way out, Mari turns and says..."SALTY".  LOL.  I'm guessing I'm way too old to be cool!!  

X vs Millennials, Week 1

Shit!  First week  back on the job and I almost forgot it was Wednesday!  Here's the better late than never update on Week 1.  

We're back in Fiji again, mostly because Jeff has a time share there.  It's really kinda nice with that fake fishing netting on the walls and those rope tied balls laying around.  The shag carpet is kind of skeevy but he says he can't replace it until he gets his season 37 money.  

And, this year the SOCIAL EXPERIMENT is about "a war between the ages".  Jesus Christ, as if my FB pages aren't already full of WAR right now.  It's the Millennials which are ages 18-31, and Gen X, ages 33-52.  I'm gonna skip all the bullshit right now and come out for Gen X since I just can't deal with playing online video games being a job.  I'm guessing the Gen Xrs had to fill out requests for time off in triplicate, agree that their positions won't necessarily  be held for them and promised their wives that when they return they will make dinner once a month.  The Millennials had to move their plant and their cat out of the basement into the rest of their parent's house.  

So we have a high school kid (Will) as the youngest and I actually think he should get a second trophy for going to school EVERY DAY.  Unless he goes to cyber school, then he can only have the trophy everyone else has gotten.  Paul is Gandolf at the great age of 52.  He in fact points out that he did NOT always get a trophy.  

First up, they get assigned to their tribes and realize it's a social experiment, not in fact a freaking reality show like they were promised.  Then there's a scavenger hunt for items to take to their camp.  I'm hearing there is all kinds of stuff in the trees to pick from but it looks like all fruit to me.  Oh and sticks of wood which people are grabbing left and right and which can actually be found at the camp site.  2 big choices:  Cooking stuff or a hammer, fishing stuff or chickens.  The  Mills take the chickens and you just KNOW there are about 8 total vegetarians on that tribe that are thinking, "oh good, pets!!"  One of the X picks up an envelope that we ultimately find out is a legacy advantage that can be used on day 36, and can be willed to another player if you're voted off.  

Spoiler: it's Cyclone season.  

The millennials are HAPPY!!!  Probably because they don't have to go to their non jobs for a month!  Awesome!  Solid!! Narly!!!  I started writing down their occupations but it just gave me a headache.  Look, I know someone has to be a homeless shelter manager, I'm just not sure if that's a step up or down from a barista.  

There's romance over on M.  Figgy is a little flirt and a manipulator.  She has 2 guys sniffing around her, I believe Dan and Taylor. Truth is I can't keep these Mills straight.  They call themselves TRIFORCE.  There's also a jewish girl, Hannah who needs to up her social skills so she tries to converse with Michelle who is a missionary who sells bibles.  

X: Rachel is overeager and annoying.  Sunday isn't a fan.  David is what I would be on Survivor-totally afraid of everything and wondering how the hell he got chosen for this show?  He's trying to bond with Chris and Brett (Mr Boston) who are trying to build shelter.  He gets all excited thinking Ken and Paul have found an idol.  Chris is like, he's trying way too hard and is totally paranoid.  David runs off to scope Ken and Paul out.  

The weather is getting really bad.  The Mills almost stop frolicking in the ocean to build a shelter.  Instead they spend a night of hell getting rained on.  It's the same on X beach.  Next morning both tribes get tree mail with a complimentary tarp because the weather is getting worse.  They all start to think this is really bad and decide to bust ass on the shelter.  

Jeff arrives, which is bad, and tells each tribe it's a CYCLONE warning and everyone is getting evacuated.  So now that shitty shag carpet in his time share is gonna be even moldier.  

Upon their return, Zeke, the old man in spirit and in actual occupation on the Millennials surprises himself and becomes a leader for the first time in his life.  They not only bust out shelter but he builds fire!!!  And then his testicles drop.  It's quite a day.  

David admits his complete fear of death.  He then very visibly goes looking for an idol.  People see him and get upset.  

Triforce is all I LOVE YOU GUYS.  Hannah has decided that the tribe is breaking down along the cool kids and the geeks and she gets Mari to help her pull together the geeks.  

Challenge:  and thank you for returning the loaned tarps.  It's an obstacle course with options to take shortcuts along the way.  Each shortcut adds 10  puzzle pieces onto the final puzzle.  The Xrs basically take most of the shortcuts and end up faster through the course with 70 puzzle pieces.  M's have 60 pieces.  Rachel and David start on the X puzzle but get nowhere and tag out.  Ultimate Michelle and Figgy win immunity for the kids.  

It's evident to everyone but Rachel that she totally screwed up.  Jessica is pretty ready to vote her out.  Dave realized no one trusts him since no one is talking to him.  He talks to Jessica and offers to vote out whoever she wants.  She asks if he has an idol and is disappointed that he does not.  Boston Brett is the ringleader and wants to split the vote.  Rachel starts thinking it's strange no one is talking to her and Cici and suddenly wonders if she is vulnerable.   

Tribal: get fire because fire equals your life in this game.

Jessica has pink eye from sand blowing into it. No medic needed apparently.

Jeff asks David a question and he  almost faints.  Seriously, is he someone on the productions nephew??  How could he have passed all of the interviews??  He tells Jeff he is scared and that his world is very small at home.  It's probably also very beige.  He kinda says he wants to stay but his enemy is himself.  

CeCe feels his pain.

Sunday says it's good to hear someone else is nervous.  

Jeff asks if anyone else has considered they could be going home and all hands go up.  

He asks Rachel why she should feel endangered and she was all, hmmmm not quite sure but people did get quite after that puzzle thing.  Perhaps it's been because I'm to upfront?

Time to vote, no idol.  

Dave gets 1 vote. Sunday 1 and  CeCe gets 3 votes for no reason I can see and Rachel is the first one off Survivor Generational War.  

Survivor Update: Ding Dong

 So we did not get to discuss the golden boy's departure.  Sad loss of eye candy but it had to happen when he lost the challenge.

Abi says "payback is a bitch" and that everyone is glad that he's gone.  Keith is feeling left out because he didn't get the memo.  He wants Tasha to go and in fact voted for her.  Which pissed her off.  

Spencer and Jeremy are worried that there is going to be a girl's alliance.  They need Tasha on their side along with Kimmie who I CANNOT BELIEVE IS STILL ON THE SHOW!!  

Reward Challenge.  It's one Keith won  before.  untangle enough rope to get through the whole course, build a ladder type of bridge and then toss sandbags at a tower of blocks and they need the rope to retrieve their sandbags.  Wanna know?  It's a trip back to the temples with food and a night stay.  

Keith wins again.  He gets to chose, first picks Kelley because I guess last week she helped him spend time with his wife.  And then he picks Spencer for "no real logic".  Tasha is mad but says that "sometimes going back to camp can be even as advantageous."  

Back at camp, Abi says that Keith is strong.  Tasha agrees that he should be next.  Abi is all proud of herself for using people to get ahead.  Jeremy is kind of non-committal about Keith going home due to his all girl alliance fear.  Tasha tells him she knows why he's afraid.  Kimmie agrees that Keith needs to go.  Tasha basically says that Jeremy needs to trust me and  let me make a move or else.  

At the reward, they walk through the temples and blather about the last time they were all there.  Yea, when they smelled a hell of a lot better!  After the walk they get a blessing, basically 3 dudes in orange throwing water at them and chanting " I can't believe we have to do this shit" in Cambodian.  Then there are girls dancing.  And food.  It's the season's "cultural experience" complete with spaghetti and salad.  Kelley starts the discussion about them going final 3, with Abi as their 4. Keith wants to make that happen.  Spencer isn't 100% sure.  He can see himself going with Keith and Abi but then again Abi is not the sound rational person to count on.  

Back at camp, Abi is making rice and Tasha asks her if she'd mind if she and Jeremy talk.  Abi is all passive aggressive as usual and is pissed that she's not included.  Jeremy thinks she's crazy.  Kimmie comes back from shitting in the woods and is all "what did I miss??"  They all bust on Abi.  Jeremy can't imagine anyone dating her.  Tasha asks if it's better to get rid of Abi before Keith so there's no messiness at the end.  Jeremy is just thinking "one less girl".  

Immunity Challenge: it's back in the water.  Race through obstacles, get a key, open a chest and do a puzzle.  Spencer literally does the puzzle in 5 seconds and wins immunity.  Tasha starts to drown and Jeff calls for safety ( a dude nearby in a snorkel) and medical.  They determine that she was basically exhausted.  

Back at camp, Tasha has recovered enough to be nervous about any bonding at the reward.  She thinks it's time for Spencer to prove himself.  

The Keith, Spencer, Kelley and Abi alliance decide it's Tasha.  We're all good.  Abi thinks her resume has gone up.  

Tasha approaches Jeremy and Spencer and they discuss getting rid of Abi.  Tasha can't stand the idea of those other 3 making it to the end because THIS SEASON ESPECIALLY it should be all about the strongest players making it to the end.  

Spencer has to decide whether it's better to target the weak players or take out the big guns and go with the "green goats" to the end.  

Tribal

Keith got a big reward.  Yes Jeff.

Spencer says it connected them all to the country, although he was worried about what was going on at camp

Tasha says she almost drowned and had to be rescued and is exhausted, which is a surprise to the jury

Spencer points out that any event is an opportunity for change, good or bad.

Kimmie says that there is always idol talks and people wondering if "we"have the numbers.  Jeff jumps all over this as if it's the first time he has ever considered that there were groups of "we".  

Jeremy says there are like 5 blocks of we's.  

No one is confident in their we, which Abi finds exciting and she is still wondering which we to join.

Apparently she is joining the we that is called the Jury.  

Finally a Survivor Update

Well, well, well.  Look who got off her fat ass to write up a couple episodes!  And if I wasn't already behind a special holiday 2 hour episode just to push me even more into the weeds!

Not gonna go all the way back but I believe I missed out on the SAVAGE blindside!  Epic.  Kelley Went pulled out her idol and saved herself, while sending Savage to Ponderosa.  

So, next week.  Kimmi wants to break up the Coven of Witches.  And it's all about finding the next idol clue.  The reward challenge is this build a staircase with poles and uneven holes, and Spencer, Joe, Ciera, Fish and Tasha perform an epic blowout.  At their spa reward Ciera talks strategy and they basically come down on Wiggles.  

Jeremy is pissed to have lost Savage.  So he goes out and looks in another big tree with a hole in it covered in leaves and HOLY COW WHAT A SURPRISE finds another idol clue.  C'mon.  HIDE THE FREAKING  CLUES SOMEWHERE ELSE!!

Fish wants to work with the witches.  Wants to MAKE A BIG MOVE.  Ciera asks if he's gonna go for Joe?  She discusses Wiggles again.  Apparently everyone thinks she's a strong player with a "great social game".  Anyone else not seeing that great social game??  

Immunity Challenge.  Balance on a little triangle in the ocean.  In the rain.  Jeff offers an advantage to the first person who gives up immunity and gets to the buoys.  Both Fish and Spencer jump.  Fish gets the advantage.  Joe wins immunity.  The advantage is FOR THE FIRST TIME EVAH IN SURVIVOR HISTORY SOMEONE CAN STEAL SOMEONE'S VOTE.  Ok.  I'm getting tired of these Museum of Survivor people who know everything that's ever happened on the show.  Dudes, I watch each episode twice and I don't remember this shit.  

I don't know.  It's Wiggles, or a split between Wentworth and Ciera.  Jeremy is concerned that part of his alliance don't know the real vote.  

Tribal.  Is again planned due to the Cambodian Doppler Weather Watch to occur at the perfect thunderstorm for added effect.  Blah blah blah, the game is EVOLVING.  Multi-voting blocks!  Alliances with in alliances!!  Oh, TEMPORARY VOTING BLOCKS!!!

It's Wiggles.  Who is pretty OK with it since she wasn't into this new game theory.  

Week later....

Jeremy talks to Tasha who is upset that she didn't know about the wiggles vote.  "with these voting blocks, once you have the numbers you don't risk bringing in other people".  Joe is pissed that his ally went home.  Rain and lots of pictures of swamp foot.  

Challenge.  It's the basketball/wrestling thing.  For a trip to the Cambodian Circus where they also get to sit and eat in front of kids, with a roof over their heads and blankets. So basically the 1%er reward.  Spencer, Ciera, Tasha, Abi and Joe win reward.  At their reward, they decide Stephen has to go because he has the advantage.  

Back at camp they decide Jeremy is a big threat and has to go.  Overnight it's still raining and miserable and Fish gets the shits.  Jeremy is hoping he's OK because he needs him.  

Immunity Challenge.  And they all get a black and a white rock.  If at least 5 of them agree to ship the challenge and give up immunity they will get a new shelter and a Golden Corral buffet of food and snacks.  I mean, c'mon, when has anyone ever had coffee at camp??  Everyone but Joe and Keith opt out.  Joe wins immunity.  

It's apparently a great shelter, with the fire under the roof.  Hmmmmm.  Anyone else think this is weird?  They even have about 20 coffee cups.  

Fish wants Ciera.  Most people want Fish.  Tasha is afraid that if Ciera stays, she'll become even more powerful.  If they take her out, her coven is up for grabs.  Spencer still wants Stephen.  Jeremy is a no to Stephen.  He needs him.  

Tribal.  Again, wet and rainy.

Fish announces he had diarrhea during the storm.  Thanks for sharing.

They discuss the white/black rocks and people say there were selfish and unselfish people.  Joe states that he would be gone without winning immunity.

Spencer blabs on about someone giving up a chance for immunity for the greater good is going to go home.  Uhuh.  80% of those "unselfish" people had no freaking change to win immunity and went for luxury.

Tasha mentions Fish's advantage and how that puts a target on his back.

They talk again about EVOLUTION and SHIFTING ALLIANCES.  

Time to vote.

Anyone have an idol??  Actually, yes, Jeff.  Jeremy plays his for Fish.  

Votes: 5 for Fish, don't count.  2 for Kimmi and going home with 3 votes is Ciera!  Woohoo.  

Aaaaand, it's "A NEW GAME EVERYTIME WE LEAVE TRIBAL".  Spencer thinks Jeremy is lying to him.  Time to jump the non-alliance?  

Challenge.  It's nighttime and Jeff is going to tell everyone a Cambodian Ghost Tale.  And then they will run around in the jungle in the dark carrying fire and answering questions about the story.  It's for a ride in a chopper, steak and drinks.  During the challenge Kelley gets another clue to an idol.  It comes down to Spencer and Fish, and Fish wins by seconds.  He gets to take 2 people with him and he takes Jeremy and Tasha, which further pissed Spencer off.  

The 3 bond at the resort, and Fish tells them about his HUUUUUUGE, GAMECHANGING advantage.  They all decide Joe has to go ASAP.  

Back at camp, Keith tells Kimmi she's have to be blind to not see that she's not really in that alliance.  Spencer says it's gonna be Fish.  Abi gets her crazy on saying if he uses his advantage, she's gone. She asks Joe if he'd let her win immunity.  LOL.  Abi's all, "maybe I will play along, and maybe I won't".  

Immunity Challenge:  Stacking bricks with those nasty feet.  Spencer comes from behind for the win.  AND JOE IS WITHOUT AN IMMUNITY IDOL FOR ONCE!!  

Fish is elated that JEFF IS FINALLY GONE!!!  Keith, Kelley and Jeremy discuss how Joe is a risk.  After Jeremy leaves, Kelley is all NOT GONNA HAPPEN.  It's Fish.  Spencer assures Joe he is not going anywhere.  

Abi is just a passive aggressive nutjob.  She won't commit to anyone.  Fish suddenly worries that Joe has an idol and he needs to use his advantage.  Spencer is all, what's the benefit of that??  He's afraid it will ruin his plans.  Fish then wants to split the vote between Abi and Joe.  

Tribal

Joe says, why yes, Jeff, I have no necklace for the firs time.  I just have to hope for trust

Abi says something about there being alliances.  

Tasha points out it's been all blindsides so perhaps trust is overrated.  Maybe the voting block thing is going away and the small alliances are coming back.

Kelley points out she's saying that because of her Jeremy-Stephen-Tasha alliance.  

Fish admits he has a target on his back.

Abi says there has been a lot of talk with different names.

Fish believes there's only a 33% chance of another blindside.  He agrees it's a shift back to alliances.  

Prior to the vote Fish announces he is going to use his advantage and take Joe's vote away.  He splits his votes between Joe and Abi.  

Vote is:  Joe 2, Abi 3 and Fish 4.  I never understood how he thought that math was gonna work.

MERGE MANIA!!!!!

MERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGEMERGE  It's all about the MERGE!!!

We start out with 2 tribes (are they still called tribes??).  Savage has the sads that he was surprised at Woo going home.  I think it was Woo.  Was it Woo?  Anyway, he has the sads and thinks he is playing with professional LIARS.  He is especially MAD at Kass who left him out to dry.  He asks her why and she gives him some vague answer about timing or secrecy or whatever.  She is really too full of herself.  Even so, Savage has to kiss her ass and tell her he's loyal and wants to be her bitch until the MERGE.

Kass and Spencer also call a truce, although it's just a truce because Kass feels she has him by the balls.  She says "see?  this is what should have happened last season we were together".   

On Bayon, they get mail saying that they are to await visitors.  OMG IS IT THE MERGE???  ARE WE MERGING???  HOW CAN WE BE MERGING???  THE MERGE ONLY HAPPENS WHEN THERE ARE 10 OR LESS PEOPLE AND WE ARE AT 13!!  HOW ON EARTH CAN THIS BE A MERGE?????  OMG OMG OMG.  

Tai Bo gets mail telling them to pack up and follow the map to their new home.  OMG!!!  IT IS THE MERGE!!!!!  HOLY MOTHER OF MERGER SURPRISES!!  Ciera takes a few minutes out of MERGE mania to express her fear of Savage getting back together with his original friends.  She and Kass declare they have to FIND AND EXPLOIT THE CRACKS.

So, yes, it's a merge and food.  Remember back in the day when FOOD was a big deal?  Now they get fed so much they're like "oh, I'm off carbs this week".  I believe the buffs are red or orange, and they decide to call themselves ORKUN, after that chain of exterminators.  Savage and Jeremy meet up and decide they are still good.  They bemoan that the game is going to go EVEN FASTER NOW!  It's still Bayon vs Tai Bo, but 7 is the magic number.  They strategize that they have a 5 solid alliance (Savage, Jeremy, Tasha, Kimmie and Fish).  They think they can get Joe and Wiggles.  

Kass also knows the magic number is 7.  She has a strong 5 with Ceira, Kelley, Keith, Abi and now has Spencer under her thumb.  They're plan is to keep using Spencer and bring in Joe too.  

Savage talks to Joe, who once again is playing a loner game.  Joe tells him he's gonna wait and feel things out.  Wentworth tries to feel Spencer out.  Spencer and Joe meet on the beach and Spencer tries to explain to him what the numbers are and why they are the 2 in the middle.  I think perhaps Joe is never part of a big group because he is unable to count past 4.  Which is OK because he is great eye candy.  Spencer draws a little picture in sand of who is with who but Joe has left the building.  

Next day is a rainy one and they are all in the shelter.  Fish amuses them with poetry.  Kass is getting pissed off because there is an apparent Brodown going on.  Kass decides to work on Tasha, telling her that they are going to work to get rid of her because she is good with challenges.  Tasha has no good feelings for Kass, and basically decides to bullshit her instead of allowing Kass to get info out of her.  She insinuates there isn't really still a Bayon alliance, and says something about the vote is what the group decides.  Kass gets pissed off and says "lines are beginning to be drawn".  She feels Tasha is going to mess with her second change and perhaps Chaos Kass needs to come out.  

Next morning Kass is again obsessing that Bayon is going to run the show.  She confronts Tasha again and tells her "yesterday went badly".  Tasha admits she doesn't trust Kass and told her wrong information.  Kass gets all  crazy and says "you didn't learn from your last season".  They return to the group and Kass starts telling them that Tasha told her a lie that there is no more Bayon alliance.  She states that she can't be trusted and she is voting Tasha out.  Ciera gets into the action and tells everyone that Savage and Woo talked about getting rid of "the  big people" aka Joe and Jeremy first after the merge.  Savage insists it's a lie and has decided that there is a 2 headed (Kass and Ciera) dragon that needs to go.  

Individual Challenge

Oooh, it's a fancy idol this time around!  Red velvet and gold lame!  Very bollywood.  It's a balance challenge.  Balance a ball on a dish, while standing on a beam.  Jeff asks Ciera how the mood is post mood and she tells him it left "confusion". 

Ok, Joe wins.  As expected since he is A MIRACLE CHALLENGE ANIMAL.  

BIG TRIBAL DECISION TONIGHT!!!  Savage says that Kass and Ciera are liars and need to go.  He wants Ciera.  He talks to Joe and Wiggles (which is interesting since he hasn't secured Joe's vote and he just gave away the strategy).  Wiggles wants Kass.  Most people want Kass, including me.  

Spencer talks with Jeremy.  Says they need to get rid of a trouble maker.  Jeremy wants Kass.  Spencer feels the wind shifting  and he doesn't think he can spare Kass.  They decide since they don't know if Kass has an idol to split the vote 5/4.  Keith finally expresses an opinion and says he'd go with Kass.  

Kass sees that brodown is happening.  She thinks Keith is also in with them, and that they may split the vote.  If Keith is voting with the men then they need 1 vote to block the split vote.  Kass talks to Spencer and suggests that they could get rid of Tasha.  Spencer admits Tasha is a friend but Kass and Ciera saved him.  

Tribal

Joe and Keith amazingly have made it to the merge without going to tribal so we have to hear the fire is your life bullshit again.  

Ciera admits that the game is going fast and is chaotic.

Kass says she's not playing the chaos game this time around but Tasha is.

Tasha is like OH NO YOU DIDN'T.  Do not go there.  

Kass reiterates that Tasha told her the Bayon tribe alliance was no more.  

Ciera jumps in and says Kass is telling the truth on some things.

Jeff asks Tasha who she is saying is lying and she says both of them

Ciera says she is getting guilt by association.  Says she is worried.

Joe states that no one wants to jump out of their safe alliance and says Kass, Ciera and Tasha are the easiest decision.  

Ceira gets all bent out of shape about taking the easy route and says people need to PLAY THE DAMN GAME DAMMIT.  She wants people to forget their alliances and go with the votes that will advance THEM not the alliance.  

Spencer admits that how he plays tonight might not reflect how he plays tomorrow

OOOOOOH Jeff gets shivers down his thigh and asks if Survivor is changing AS WE SPEAK???

Fish says that yes, in fact WE MAY BE WITNESSING THE EVOLUTION OF SURVIVOR STRATEGY.  LOL

Jeff asks, so are we talking just voting blocks for each tribal??  

Ciera says unless you are in the top 4 you need to be constantly in GAME MODE.

Time to vote.  Any idols?  Nope

Tasha gets 2, Ciera gets 4, Savage gets 1 and Kass gets the magic 5 and is the first bitch on the Jury!  Incidentally, after her big GAME PLAY speech, Ciera basically threw her vote away on Savage.  

Survivor" Blindside again!

Ok, so the previous week Ankor finally won immunity sending Bayon to tribal.  It appeared to be between Wigglesworth and Spencer as odd men out until Monica suggested to excessively large boned Kimmie that perhaps the women should stick together, thereby indicating that WE GOT A FLIPPER ON OUR HANDS!!!.  And, that's how one little slip gets you voted off the island.  

So this week began with Jeff visiting one of the tribes in the middle of the night,which is never good.  Terry's son was hospitalized and needed a heart transplant, which he got.  He obviously left the game, and I was sad to see him go.  

Challenge:  welcome in and see that Monica was voted off last time. and ALSO NOTICE THAT TERRY IS GONE.  Jeff basically milks this for all it's worth, beating the "OMGZ as parents isn't this HEARTBREAKING??  Can I get at least one of you to cry???  Andrew?  Wigglesworth??  IMAGING HOW HORRIBLE IT WOULD BE IF THIS WAS YOUUUUUUUUUU."  Yea.  MILKED IT.  And then got them to all say how much they are LOVING their current tribes!!  Which is ALWAYS a preview to "drop your buffs". We're back to just Tai Bo or whatever, and Bayon.  Apparently the camera crew covering the Ankor tribe refused to step foot into that HELL HOLE one more day.  

Tai Chi: Savage, Woo, Abi, Kass, Spencer, Cierra and Wiggles.  

Bayon: Kimmie, Wentworth, Fish, Keith, Joe, Tasha and Jeremy

Kass and Spencer are less than thrilled to be together based on last time they played Survivor.  

Back to the challenge which is an oily slip and slide, with a ring toss.  Just like my last birthday!!  

First up, Savage and Jeremy, who both look kinda hot all oily.  Jeremy wins by about half a second.

Kass takes on Fish, who you know will suck at this and in fact throws the ring like a PE challenged girl.  Kass kicks his ass.  He's all depressed and Jeremy tells him to buck up because they all have more confidence in him than he has,  

Abi takes on Kimmie who is a big hot mess.  Abi for the win.

Woo is bested by Joe and we're at SUDDEN DEATH.  The Kelley's go at each other and Wiggles beats Went.  Is it me or is Wiggles way more intense than I remember her being?  Is it excessive botox?  I mean she has no thoughts or expressions!  

Anyway, Tai Chi wins fried chicken, mac and cheese and brownies.  

Spencer tries to be nice at the feast, and he interacts a bit with Kass.  Savage is all happy because he has his 5 person alliance.  He loves Spencer, but knows Kass has her knife out for him.  She tells him that basically as fast as they can away,  Savage agrees that it has to be Spencer and tells everyone to say to Spencer that it's Ciera.  Ciera is all WTF???  Clearly she doesn't want her name used in tribal!  

On Bayon, there's a 6 person original alliance which would make Wentworth an easy target but Joe wants her to stay to protect his back up alliance.  Joe talks to Tasha and Fish, and they're all set on Wentworth.  Joe is like...OR we could stay strong keeping Wentworth and getting rid of Kimmie.  Fish is annoyed (probably because he's the next weak link in the chain) and tells Jeremy that Joe is trying to flip the alliance.  Jeremy wants another hot dude left on the tribe as a shield so he is inclined to keep Joe around and happy.  

Fish has his camera time and basically cries because he doesn't want to blow his second chance because he couldn't get his "crew" to get rid of the golden boy.  Seriously, this shit just writes itself it's so ridiculous.  

Immunity challenge and it's an eating one and one they've done 14 times in the past.  Yea, still grosses me out to see people blowing chunks all over the place.  

First up, it's Kimmie/Tasha vs Woo/Spencer eating 2 tarantulas.  The boys clean up on this one.  

Jeremy/Keith vs Savage and Ciera with the water beetles that Jeff assures us still have some guts and juice inside.  Mmmmmm.  Ciera lost his one before and sure enough, she's gagging all over the place.  Jeremy and Keith win.

Fish/Wentworth vs Kass/Abi eating the pig snout.  Kass barfs, letting Fish and Went to win this round.

It's now for some reason an individual contest.  Joe and Wiggles get fried frogs, which actually sounds OK to me.  Wiggles gets it done.  Woo takes on Kimmie with pig brains, and Kimmie again refused to eat pig.  Woo gets it by default.  Ciera and Wentworth get scorpions and once again it ain't going down Ciera's throat!  Went gets the win and we are tied.  

Kass and Tasha get the DREADED duck embryo.  Kass once again blows chunks and Bayon wins immunity.  Kass has tears and Jeff asks if it's the barfing or letting the team down?  She says both.  On the way out, Jeremy grabs a bite of embryo since he's hungry.  

Back on Tai Chi, Woo reiterates that it's Spencer but they are telling him Ciera.  Andrew tells him that Ciera has to go and it's gonna be a sad blindside.  Ciera tells Kass and Abi that she's not comfortable being the foil.  Kass wants it to be Spencer and Ciera wants it to be Woo.  

Kass and Spencer talk.  She tells him that there is stuff going on that could be beneficial to him.  Spencer tells her he really likes and trusts Savage, and she tells him that he actually wants Spencer voted off.  Kass tells him that she's leaning towards a blindside.....and Spencer decides he's gonna bunk with the devil tonight.  

Tribal

2 of them haven't been to tribal yet so we get to hear the whole "fire is your life" bullshit again.  Jeff asks them how they are playing differently for their 2nd chance:

Savage thinks he's playing a more personal game and forming deeper relationships.

Spencer says something about seeing people as people, which says a lot about what a creeper he is in general.

Woo thinks he wasn't cut throat enough and I guess this is his version of being cut throat.

Kass says some shit about it being hard to keep all of the alliances and liaisons straight this time around with all of the tribe swapping.  She's not always sure who's tight with who, and which Kass she is.  Kass or Chaos Kass which just flat out bugs the hell out of me when she calls herself that.

Andrew says he hasn't seen any evidence of Chaos Kass.  Just wait, grasshopper, just wait.

Ciera thinks she's good with people, Andrew says he knows's what's gonna happen and Ciera says "someone's plan isn't gonna work out".  

Vote:

Spencer gets 3 votes, but Woo get's 4 and here's YET ANOTHER SEASON I WON'T BE WINNING!!!