Survivor Samoa Week 6

Yo, today's update is brought to you by DayQuil. Let's see if it is funnier than usual!

Usual rehash, Ashley is gone. It's raining, and to prove it's wet, let's show some skank wrinkled feet. Niiiice. Everyone has hut fever.

Jaison is miserable. Man, this dude better suck it up. He would die in the hood. ETroll loves the weather, loves everyone being miserable. Loves loves loves it. I think if I were there I would kill Etroll, skin him and everyone could stay nice and cozy under his skin. Mmmm, lots of whale blubber for the oil lamps too.

Awww, thanks Jeff!!! He included pictures of our snorkeling trip. God, y'all should have seen Jeff in his Speedo. Yowza!!

Galout: So, now 90210 wishes they had that Eddie Bauer tarp instead of these wet nasty pillows and blankets. Damn that GoodRussell for thinking of us! And, why is GoodRussell out there doing all the work? He's making us look bad. "It's a bit unnecessary". Yea, cause the fire will keep itself lit, kids.

FF: Mick is basically laying inside the Keebler idol tree to stay dry. Etroll, who loves the rain, calls his whole team "worthless". "Where they from, NY City??" Lots o' misery.

Cue Maureen McGovern, "there's got to be a morning aaaaaaaafter". Galout wakes up to a double rainbow. They all stumble out onto the beach as the clouds part, and sunshine shoots out of their asses. It's really moving,

Challenge: Jeff is in baby blue. Today's challenge: one member of the tribe will be strapped into a bamboo gerbil ball, while 2 other members are blindfolded and roll the ball down towards...shit, a game board. The seeing person gets to yell directions. Wanna know what you're playing for? OOOH, THE NEW LEOPARD SNUGGIE??? Nope, hot pizza. Hot cause there are freakin brick ovens in the jungles of Samoa. Um, Jeff, can one of those be veggie? No, damnit. And, there is gonna be a double elimination tonight, with the winning team watching the losing team's tribal therapy session while eating their HOT pizza. (Note: the HOT is just another of our little secret messages. So cute).

For Galout, Laura is in the ball, with Erik and GoodRussell rollin'. FF has Liz the crafty Asian in the ball with Etroll and Jaison rollin'. Ok, so they are rolling. It's kinda interesting but I would have barfed long ago. FF is doing really well, they get lost once but cut in front of Galout. Galout gets to the gay table maze first but Liz is upside down.

Galout gets kinda lost in the weeds, and finally they get Laura in place but GoodRussell is totally exhausted. He's weaving. In fact, he has lays his head on the game board before falling down.

Game stops. Medical! GoodRussell is down with that dreaded low blood pressure. Probster declares the challenge over with no winner (cause they now have to give the pizza to Medical as payment) but both tribes still have to go to tribal. Everyone leaves. Russell lays there kinda out of it while Jeff, my love, eulogizes him. It was kinda sweet and kinda freaky actually. But, still hot.

It's Home Alone over on Galout without Russell there to tell them to breathe in and out.

Oooh, more underwater shots. This time of circling sharks. Da dum...da dum...

Natalie and Liz decide they should both pack their bags. Etroll wants Liz gone. Not so sure on how this is gonna come out.

Galout: Shamwow is trying to hang with the cool girls and they treat her like the cootie ridden hag she is. She asks them not to write her name down and they are like, "um, yea, haven't really thought that through yet". She goes on and on about how she made the fire for the first 8 days, which does nothing for these biatches. Monica's all torqued cause Shamwow wrote her name down last time.

Over on the boys side, they think Monica is the weakest girl. Plus, no one really wants to do her (cause you know that's what they really mean). They like Shamwow cause she's manly. Plus she has no alliances and no power. The men are gunning for Monica to break up the Monica-Laura relationship. Shamwow asks them how to vote. They don't trust her but tell her to wink wink vote consistently with your last vote. She asks them all and finally gets it that she should vote for Monica. "But, lock it up, Sham".

Joint Tribal! Jeff is still in the blue. He explains that GoodRussell will not be coming back. Jeff says he was very scared by Russell. POOR JEFF. Everyone is SAAAAAD about Russell. Just SAAAADDD on and on with the damn SAAAAADDDD. Christ.

Shamwow: why not quit? I am not a quitter, Jeff
Dave: What's the status? Well, Jeff, Galout is clearly ahead
EvilTroll: What's the attitude on FF? Fine, we're ready now to start kicking ass
Mick: Does today's challenge feel like a moral victory? (me: MORAL VICTORY??? are we overblowing the importance of Survivor just a bit, honey??) Yes, we are back
Erik: Does it concern you that they think they won today? No, still a bunch of p(bleeeeep)sies

Psych! No vote, no one else is going home tonight. Etroll: "This is the turning point of the game". GAME ON!


Foa Foa
Jaison Kim
Mick Wendy
Russell H Donna
Marisa Ginnie
Elizabeth Leslie
Natalie Carolyn


Galu
Brett Pam
Dave Amy
Erik Terri
John Joanne
Kelly Kevin and Matt
Laura Kelly
Monica Stacey
Shamwow Jeff and Eileen


Gone:
Marisa Ginnie
Mike Karen and John
Betsy Becky and Mary
Ben Nancy D
Yasmin Elayne
Ashley Tess
Russell S Lori