Survivor, by Palm Pre

Yo yo yo!! Welcome to the ALMOST last update for the HISTORIC, 10 YEAR SURVIVOR!! Ahhhhh, my job here is almost done. Before I forget, I just opened all of the checks, and will let you know later if I don't have $$ from you. Thanks for all the funny notes accompanying the $$. I am totally hoping Carolyn or Ed Parkes are reading this, because I would like to call Ed out for giving me such a beating up over choosing Russell for him. Hmmmm, Ed, ya wanna walk that back a little bit??

Tonight's episode is clearly brought to you by Palm's Pre (ding).

Lots of residual drama brought about by the fact that Perv was blindsided by Danielle's going home. Perv and Sandra discuss what happened. "I thought it was Rupert". Perv talks to Jerri, tells her she knows Russell changed his vote. Jerri tells her that Etroll threatened her that she would be next if she didn't vote for Danielle. They agree that they need to get back to the plan of getting rid of Colby and Rupert, cause if either of them end up in the finale they will win. Perv now agrees that Russell is clearly the biggest Villain in Survivor history.

Tree mail is .....a SPRINT Palm Pre phone. And, it's a family challenge. Oh, goody.

Come on in! Jeff is in Dark Blue. I cannot wait for him to grab that faux bamboo ice bucket they use to hold the votes, jump back on the military stealth helicopter and fly home to Spring City. I've already laid out the large white panties in the back yard to mark the landing strip.

Big family hugs.

Here's Russell's poor abused wife. God, I was yelling at the teevee "run and hide, run and hide".
Rupert's wife-it's their 12th anniversary.
Sandra's uncle-had to dig a little to get a sob store. "I love him he was with my mom when she died". Guess the US Military couldn't spare her husband for the weekend.
Colby's brother Reid
Perv with her dad, Mike,
Jerri with her sister, Jennifer who is from Germany.

The challenge is to scoop water, throw it at your loved one and fill up a bucket of water. Wanna know what you're playing for? At trip to a BLOWHOLE. hahahahhahahah. As if they don't get enough of blowholes back at camp. Oh, and they get to take the phone with them to CAPTURE THE MEMORIES. Because the Palm Pre has a PHONE. Woooooow. How innovative! Let me throw my iPhone right out and git me one.

Ok they toss the water. Colby the lame is mad that his brother has no water catching talent. Russell's wife is unexpectedly good at catching things thrown at her from Russell.

Jerri and her sister win reward! She gets to chose someone to join them. She picks Perv. "Can I chose one more, puleeeaaassseee Jeff?" Okkkkaaaaaayyyyyyy. She chooses Sandra. LOL. Troll is PISSED. "She just screwed up". Off camera you see the Troll's wife handing Jerri a $20 bill as thank you.

At the blowhole, some Samoan actor hands them coconuts to throw in the blowholes and then they watch the coconuts fly in the air from the blowhole. All captured on their PALM PRE (ding). They also get donuts and cookies. WTF?? I could get that at the after church reception, well only if offered on Christmas or Easter. Perv and the gals talk. Jerri-Russell is totally gonna be mad at me now. Perv tells her she is under her and Sandra's protection now. Not to worry!!

Back at camp, Russell is fuming. "I haven't beaten, I mean SEEN my wife in 40 days!". Rupert is feeding the fire. Troll: "I've been taking care of Jerri this whole time-been dragging her through the mud the whole way". Russell offers Colby and Rupert final 3. LOL. Yea, I believe that. Rupert: "I want to believe him, but he's a Villain. But, he's the only Villain I got".

Women return to camp. Russell and Colby are asleep, Rupert is up working around camp. Making noise and everyone is mad. LOL-Sellman, I KNOW you can relate to that. Jerri is especially pissed, she wants Rupert gone. Jerri talks to Russell, asks him if he was mad. "Nope". He tells her he wants to take her to the top.

"I control the game because I control Jerri. I'm not telling Jerri about voting Perv out".

Immunity Challenge: Light Blue. It's the hold two poles in your outstretched hands challenge. I think they played this in the POW camps in Viet Nam. Colby the lame lasts 15 seconds. Sandra less than a minute. Russell, out. Jerri, out. After 17 minutes, Rupert drops his and Perv wins immunity! Rupert " Plan B is Sandra".

Back at camp. Troll "It's Rupert since Perv is staying" "I have to go back to the girls". He CLEARLY did not learn his lesson last season about pissing the entire friggin jury off.

Sandra tells Rupert it's Russell. Rupert RUNS AS FAST AS HIS FAT LITTLE LEGS CAN CARRY HIM to the troll to rat her out. Tells him Sandra is pushing for it hard. Russell's head spins around 3 times and he spits green vomit out. Russell confronts Sandra and Perv in the shelter, asks Sandra if she's with him or against him. She laughs and says, "I'm against you". Russell threatens Sandra, and Perv and Sandra laugh at him. Sandra yells, "Rupert, loose lips sink ships". Russell tells Rupert and Jerri that he wants to get rid of Sandra. Rupert's totally fine with that.

Tribal: Dark blue.

Sandra-wassup with last week? Rupert tried to stir stuff up between me and Russell.
Russell-Rupert told me Sandra was trying to throw me under the bus
Sandra-are you with me or not?
Russell-I don't trust you
Sandra-I'm against you.
Perv-it is no longer Heroes vs Villains, Jeff.
Jeff-is there a benefit to switching alliances?
Perv-it needs to be all villains at the end
Rupert-you are going to want a hero in the final to prove how villainous you are by voting out your alliance.

Time to vote. Before Jeff even asks, Sandra pulls the idol out of her bra. "I'd hate to go home with this".

Rupert is the next person voted off.