Survivor Update: Ding Dong the Witch is Dead...Maybe

Soooo, we finally get to see some action at Redemption Island. Matt shows up, with none of his stuff since he was so damn sure it wasn't gonna be him. Francesca: "Dude, what the hell are you doing here?? Why wasn't it Phillip??" "Rob is a scoundrel."


Back on O, Rob is all happy. Phillip was a good soldier and Kristina used her idol. "Phillip, you're now in the alliance". "Tomorrow I have to get Andrea back on our side..."

Redemption tree mail: Follow the path to the arena for a duel. Loser goes home for good. On Z and O, the get messages that each tribe can send 2 representatives, chosen by colored marbles. For Z, it's Steve and Dave. For, O it's Ashley and Andrea. Rob's not happy with Andrea getting to see Matt.

Redemption Duel: Jeff is in dark blue. Andrea yells out, "I didn't vote for either of you two". It's an old challenge. They're behind a "wall" of cheap Home Depot bamboo sticks, and they have to build a a pole to get 3 keys and open 3 locks.

Francesca gets her pole going really fast and gets key #1. Matt's stick falls apart. Francesca gets key #2, Matt's stick falls apart. Francesca's stick isn't long enough to get the last key and it falls apart. Matt gets his shit together and gets key 1 and 2. One key left for each of them, and Matt wins. Matt stays alive and Francesca is the first person off this season.

The girls return to O camp telling them that Matt is really pissed off, but they didn't get to talk to him.

Rob talks to Andrea. "I'm sorry...It wasn't just me, 4 people did it. You're still in our alliance". Andrea: "It's smart for me to stay part of the alliance but I don't trust them....(she cries) they sent my only friend away". Oh jeebus.

Over on Z: "The black chick won and the blonde kid left". They want Russell to think he has to fight "the black chick" so he's surprised when he gets there an it's Matt.

Russell: It's 6-3, I gotta find the idol. Ralph, aka Sasquatch is watching him look. "This is not Russell's game no more".

They can't find the idol, so Stephanie suggests they make a fake one and pretend she has it in her bag. She's all acting like her bag is suddenly filled with gold bars, and Steve notices. Russell: "I tell them what to do and they do it for me". Ugh.

Ok, WTF. Apparently prior to Survivor Russell shaved his armpits and now he has a big old rash. God I hope he shaved his balls too. "He's just sitting in his tent all day with his concubines". Great line!! Steve wants him gone. "Would it make sense to throw a challenge and get rid of him?? Most people are good with that but Julie is torn. What if O starts getting on a roll and they just gave up a person? Steve: "If I give a thumbs up, we're throwing the challenge". Usually I am totally against this, but not this season!!

Challenge: Jeff is in Light Blue. It's the waterboarding challenge again. 3 people are strapped to a wheel, they are rotated into water where they fill up their mouths and then spit in a funnel. Once it fills up, they do a puzzle on the atrocities at Abu Graib. Wanna know what you're playing for?? Chairs, pillows, blankets, lanterns...and immunity. Z decides to throw it. Sarita and Sasquatch sit out, and Julie is not happy.

O gets to the puzzle first. You have to build a maze and run a ball through. Rob is the puzzle master. David is doing the puzzle for Z, or rather he is just staring at it like it's too hard for him to even begin it. Rob wins.

Russell: "If I didn't know any better I'd think they threw the challenge. I'm dealing with a bunch of bitches".

O. Rob thinks there is probably a clue to a re hidden idol somewhere on the new stuff. Everyone is looking for it. He looks at one of the chairs but then sees Phillip napping in the other one. "Dude, you're breaking the chair with your fat ass...get up". Phillip moves to the first chair and Rob finds the clue. "Let me go put a new screw in this chair..." Phillip just keeps napping. It's a real vague clue.

Z: Julie wants to know what the plan is. We split the votes 3-3 between Russell and Stephanie. Russell tells his concubines it is stupid to throw a challenge. They need to flip someone. He sends Stephanie to talk to Julie. Julie says, "I'd like my chances better with someone who has been here before..." Russell tells her, "I got your back. They pick Ralph to vote off. "This would be the biggest move ever".

Tribal-Jeff is in Dark Blue. YES. Be right there darling!! I'll bring the quarters for the magic fingers bed!

Ralph: Fist time at tribal? It's good and bad. There are 2 teams on our tribe
Steve: 6 solid, and 3 not solid
Sarita: I think the problem is Russell and his legacy. He came in and gave a fancy speech that he has changed, and it's not the case.
Russell: I'm not playing that game. It felt like people threw the challenge today
Mike: It's true, we didn't go 100% today. We've got some fat to trim.
Julie: I'd rather we merge with the numbers
Stephanie is just a bitch. "The majority of the tribe forget that Russell is important"
Steve: We did not throw the challenge.
On and on. Stephanie is just a crazy nasty bitch!!

They vote. What will Julie do??? She comes through and it's a 3 way tie. No idol. They revote. Russell is voted off!! Yay!!!

"I'll be back...be ready"
Stephanie to Julie: "The storms a coming."


Russell: "I'm pissed. I wanted to bitch slap every one of them".

Getting good!!!