Survivor Update: Craftsman Tool Promotional Episode

Sooo, Russell shuffles off to Redemption Island. "My whole tribe lost the challenge to get rid of me...Liars. Matt's a rookie, Ima take him out." Idiot Matt: "Russell, you're my favorite person". Russell: "Ima take it from him...my entire tribe is gonna come here. Ima gonna make them sleep out in the mud". Show of hands, who wants to work for Russell in the real world?? LIttle men with little dicks have little brains. (Bumper stickers ARE available).


On O: Phillip is sweeping. Rob: "He's weird. Who goes on Survivor wearing pink tighty whiteys with his stuff flipping out?" Phillip: "These kids don't understand me. I'm disadvantaged by the social game. I gotta show another side". LOL. I doubt he has another side.

On Z: Stephanie and Krista are stuck with "goobers" and are laying out on the beach. Ralph, back at camp away from these two tells the other 6 that he has the idol. "I got them captured to take me farther in the game".

Who wants to go witness the duel on Redemption?? Phillip and Kristina want to go. Phillip: "With my government background I can read the situation and get some good intel". For Z, Sarita and Ralph go.

Duel: Good VS Evil. Jeff is in medium blue. It's a domino challenge. Damn, I was really hoping for a spirograph-off.

Matt finished laying his dominoes first, He falls short and has to restack. Russell gives his a try and misses. It's a restacking race. And...Matt wins!!! Oh GLORY BE TO THE GOD OF DOMINOES. The pizza AND the puzzles.

Russell goes home. Ahhhhhh. He cries. "It's hard to be a professional quarterback with peewees on the team". Ralph takes offense at Russell’s remarks says, "I found the idol in 15 seconds". Sarita tells him "Don't do it" under her breath. He then says he faked it. Hmmm, lie or not? Russell is pleased that Ralph spilled the beans about his idol in front of everyone and asks Ralph to show him the idol. He refuses but CIA man, Phillip believes he has the idol. Russell gets in his final dig: "See Jeff, I get to remain in the game through Phillip and Kristina".

O: Rob declares it a beach day, because he wants time to look for the idol. He makes up a game called Royal Treatment. Then he tells everyone he's constipated to explain his long absences. About the time they ask, "Where's Rob??" he finds the idol.

Z: "Matt won". Ding Dong. Russell is gone, but Stephanie and Kristina are still team Russell.

O: Phillip tells Kristina not tell anyone that Ralph has the idol. She thinks he's a big wind bag. "I'm gonna let him dig his own grave".

Phillip pulls Rob and Grant aside, tells him he knows who on Z has the idol and what the alliances are. "Is that valuable enough information to keep Kristina in the game?" Rob is pissed. "Hey dumb ass, aren’t you in my alliance? Don’t you work for me?” Rob agrees to Phillip's face, and Phillip spills all. Rob and Grant realize he's untrustworthy and needs to go.

Tree mail. Teamwork and ruggedness, Trust. Julie: We need to win this challenge. Karma is against us.

Challenge. Jeff is in dark blue. It's a total CRAFTSMAN (co-marketing ding ding ding) tool use challenge. Build shit, and nail nails. It's also another clay tile discrimination challenge. Here's the actual instructions: "Both tribes will make their way over a balance beam where they will use a crow bar to open a crate and retrieve a shovel. The shovel will be then be used to dig to find an axe, which will be used to chop a log that will release a rope holding two saws. The saws will be used to cut through a wall releasing planks. The planks will be used to complete a ramp that will get the entire tribe to the top of a platform where they must hammer three nails to break three tiles. The final step is to put the toolbox containing all the tools used in the challenge on top of the table on the platform." Yes, it's the Shop Class final. Wanna know what you're playing for?? A Sears BBQ set and food.

Screw it, Team Z wins immunity due to Sasquatch's nailing skills. The get the food. Mike, the Iraq vet: "I'm so hungry I haven't thought about sex in 2 weeks". Ladies, now we know how to get out of sex. STOP COOKING!!. Ralph is sucking stuff out of his nails. GROSS ME THE HELL OUT.

Phillip calls a pre-tribal meeting. "I thought we did good. Anyone got anything they want to discuss??" Crickets.

Phillip is a total pain in the ass. The women all hate him. Kristina sees an opening and trash talks him. Kristina talks to Natalie. Says, "there must have been a clue when we won reward so someone must have the idol by now". This surprises Natalie, that Kristina is no longer looking for the clue. Natalie talks to Rob, who is glad they don't suspect him. "Hmm, does she maybe have it??" He thinks that even though Phillip is annoying as hell, Kristina is dangerous. "Let's send her home, but split the vote just in case she has the idol".

Ashley and Grant take a walk, Ashley vents about Phillip. Grant agrees he is a total lose cannon. He talks to Rob but Rob still thinks Kristina needs to go first. "I just hope these people stay in line". Phillip talks to Rob. Rob tells him Kristina, which pissed Phillip off. He thinks Rob is not a man of his word and "I need to be prepared to make my move".

Tribal. Medium Blue. Meh.

Kristina, are you on the hotseat? Yes. I started off on the wrong side of the numbers. Hopes for a second chance.
Natalie: Second chances are great
Grant: People can get a second chance
Rob: Is it too late?
Kristina thinks people should vote the most disruptive person off
Phillip: I'm a doer. Kristina is disruptive
It's obviously Kristina vs Phillip.
Phillip goes on a rant. I have a tribe history. Says some shit about a Shephard Stamp, a dead mom...a medal...some shit. I'm better than Kristina.
Kristina: I'm a valuable member, smart and trustworthy.

She's also the next person voted off Survivor and onto Redemption Island.